# Does this statement about young girls strike you as odd? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 15, 2010, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-statement-about-young-girls-strike-you-as-odd/525053 "2010-01-15T07:18:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-statement-about-young-girls-strike-you-as-odd/525053/61 "2010-01-15T19:50:50Z")
> [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](#): > > Actually, I thought \*I \*summed it up nicely. > > To be clear, I’m not talking about every father out there… How many daughters do you have and how old are they? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Bith\_Shuffle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@The\_Bith\_Shuffle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Bith_Shuffle)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-statement-about-young-girls-strike-you-as-odd/525053/62 "2010-01-15T20:12:13Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > I don’t find the OP’s father’s comment odd at all. Every once in a while I see a boy who I know is going to become a stud someday. **That doesn’t make me a pedophile.** And the cake is taken… ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-statement-about-young-girls-strike-you-as-odd/525053/63 "2010-01-15T20:22:08Z")
> [@The\_Bith\_Shuffle](#): > > And the cake is taken… :dubious: Elaboration, please? I didn’t see any cake in that post. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Bith\_Shuffle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@The\_Bith\_Shuffle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Bith_Shuffle)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-statement-about-young-girls-strike-you-as-odd/525053/64 "2010-01-15T20:27:15Z")
> [@Koxinga](#): > > :dubious: Elaboration, please? I didn’t see any cake in that post. I never suggested that this has anything to do with pedophilia. I think I worded my OP a little too strongly still - “sexually twisted or immature” should have probably been replaced with just “immature” - but **panache45** nevertheless used the phrase “that doesn’t make me a pedophile” for no good reason. ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-statement-about-young-girls-strike-you-as-odd/525053/65 "2010-01-15T20:35:36Z")
\ **Bith** , that was uncalled for. Let’s stop this right now and concentrate on the OP. No more “wink wink nudge nudge did he really say that” here, ok? \ ---
**Author:** ![Marienee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/73ab20/32.png) [@Marienee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marienee)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-statement-about-young-girls-strike-you-as-odd/525053/66 "2010-01-15T20:38:31Z")
> [@The\_Bith\_Shuffle](#): > > I never suggested that this has anything to do with pedophilia. I think I worded my OP a little too strongly still - “sexually twisted or immature” should have probably been replaced with just “immature” - but **panache45** nevertheless used the phrase “that doesn’t make me a pedophile” for no good reason. The cake was taken as you put it in post number 22. And it was probably your projection, “_Why was he thinking about how sexually attractive our neighbors’ daughters would be when they grew up_” that set it off in combination with your question about sexual twistedness. So, despite your denial, you did in fact suggest exactly that there was something sexual going on, which was probably going on only in your mind. Or better yet, is now going on in your mind but was not then, only you remember it as having gone on then because it is going on now. See? ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-statement-about-young-girls-strike-you-as-odd/525053/67 "2010-01-15T20:49:19Z")
I’ve heard that phrase so often that it doesn’t seem all that sinister to me. It is obviously _meant_ as an innocent thing to say. And a knockout doesn’t have to be a sexual thing. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Bith\_Shuffle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@The\_Bith\_Shuffle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Bith_Shuffle)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-statement-about-young-girls-strike-you-as-odd/525053/68 "2010-01-15T20:56:16Z")
> [@Marienee](#): > > The cake was taken as you put it in post number 22. And it was probably your projection, “_Why was he thinking about how sexually attractive our neighbors’ daughters would be when they grew up_” that set it off in combination with your question about sexual twistedness. > > So, despite your denial, you did in fact suggest exactly that there was something sexual going on, which was probably going on only in your mind. Or better yet, is now going on in your mind but was not then, only you remember it as having gone on then because it is going on now. > > See? I think the board is understanding the word _sexual_ in a much more precise sense than I am. When I say “sexually immature” I don’t mean that he was thinking about having sex with them. I meant to ask whether it meant that he was sexually immature in some way, such that he was thinking about how they would appear physically in a number of years. I guess the answer is no. Well, fine, no big deal. I’m in the great minority here. I myself never think about how children will look in a number of years. I don’t recall anyone else making a similar comment. And I certainly don’t think its indicative of negative personal traits within myself that I asked this question. And, for the record, I did have these thoughts when he made the statement. Do you think I’m digging up ancient memories here? I’m twenty years old. He made this comment about three years ago. This was around the time that he started making more and more obviously or arguably racist comments. ---
**Author:** ![raspberry\_hunter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b19c9b/32.png) [@raspberry\_hunter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raspberry_hunter)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-statement-about-young-girls-strike-you-as-odd/525053/69 "2010-01-15T20:56:24Z")
My whole family, including my sister and I, used to say this all the time about our (male) cousin, who was ten/six years younger than she/I respectively - “Oh, he’ll be such a hottie when he grows up!” Not because we wanted to date him, because, ew, he was like, 10. But sure enough by the time he hit puberty he was just surrounded by girls. His brother, on the other hand, we have never said that about - by the time he got to college, he’d grown up to be nice-looking as well, but it just wasn’t as totally obvious when he was 10 as it was for his brother. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-statement-about-young-girls-strike-you-as-odd/525053/70 "2010-01-15T21:02:56Z")
> [@The\_Bith\_Shuffle](#): > > I guess the answer is no. Well, fine, no big deal. I’m in the great minority here. I myself never think about how children will look in a number of years. I don’t recall anyone else making a similar comment. And I certainly don’t think its indicative of negative personal traits within myself that I asked this question. > > And, for the record, I did have these thoughts when he made the statement. Do you think I’m digging up ancient memories here? I’m twenty years old. He made this comment about three years ago. This was around the time that he started making more and more obviously or arguably racist comments. It may not be ancient history, but it does sound like you’re looking for material to build some kind of “case” against him in your mind. Was the fact that the girls were Hispanic important? After making those comments three years ago, has he manifested some behavior such that you think would make them (the comments) an early sign of something or other? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Bith\_Shuffle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@The\_Bith\_Shuffle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Bith_Shuffle)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-statement-about-young-girls-strike-you-as-odd/525053/71 "2010-01-15T21:10:27Z")
> [@Koxinga](#): > > It may not be ancient history, but it does sound like you’re looking for material to build some kind of “case” against him in your mind. > > Was the fact that the girls were Hispanic important? > > After making those comments three years ago, has he manifested some behavior such that you think would make them (the comments) an early sign of something or other? Okay, I guess you’re right, this probably has to do more with what I associate with my father than what the statement sounds like in and of itself. Within the past half of a decade, my father has slipped fairly quickly into a stereotypical angry-white-man way of thinking. He started saying things like this: “Fuckin’ Iranians are a bunch of fuckin’ assholes.” (watching the news) “They probably wouldn’t even let me into one of those bubble tea places because I’m not good enough at Math” (obvious stereotyping of Asians) “Let’s face it, the less intelligent you are the closer you are to being an animal” (he had brought up the idea that blacks are innately intellectually inferior to white people) He would also whine about how women discriminate against men in the employment process and that enrollment statistics show that women are dominating men in college education. So, I figured that it was perfectly within his power to make some sort of inappropriate comment about our neighbors’ daughters, especially if they were of a race he could exoticize or pigeonhole. My father often seems to follow the racialist trend of thinking that goes like “blacks are good at sports, Asians are good at Math…” etc, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Koxinga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4af34b/32.png) [@Koxinga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Koxinga)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-statement-about-young-girls-strike-you-as-odd/525053/72 "2010-01-15T21:20:22Z")
. . . and Hispanics are good at raising girls that grow up to be knockouts? Yeah, I could get behind that. But seriously, it’s (I think, FWIW) a good sign that you can put this in context and see where your own feelings are coming from. It sucks that your father has been turning into someone like that, but if you have good (or at least neutral) memories of him before this period, you don’t need to let them all become tainted by his current behavior. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Bith\_Shuffle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ce73a5/32.png) [@The\_Bith\_Shuffle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Bith_Shuffle)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-statement-about-young-girls-strike-you-as-odd/525053/73 "2010-01-15T21:22:50Z")
> [@Koxinga](#): > > . . . and Hispanics are good at raising girls that grow up to be knockouts? Yeah, I could get behind that. > > But seriously, it’s (I think, FWIW) a good sign that can put this in context and see where your own feelings are coming from. It sucks that your father has been turning into someone like that, but if you have good (or at least neutral) memories of him before this period, you don’t need to let them all become tainted by his current behavior. I’ll be able to forgive him for it. He took me to Folk Life when I was little three straight times. Now _those_ are memories. ---
**Author:** ![Caveat\_lector\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@Caveat\_lector\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caveat_lector_1)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-statement-about-young-girls-strike-you-as-odd/525053/74 "2010-01-15T22:48:08Z")
Heck I used to think this about my high school girlfriend’s pre-teen sister. She was extremely intelligent, nice, a talented athlete, and was probably going to be very beautiful to boot. (After seeing a few pictures of her from college it turns out I was right) ---
**Author:** ![myskepticsight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@myskepticsight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/myskepticsight)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-statement-about-young-girls-strike-you-as-odd/525053/75 "2010-01-15T23:09:09Z")
My friend and I used to say this about her little brother. He was probably 6 or so years younger than us, but even when he was about 7 we knew when he was older he was gonna be a cutie. We used to tease him and tell him the girls would be all over him soon and he was young so that elicited an “ew!” from him. Sure enough he’s about 17 now and quite the little stud. It wasn’t sexual or creepy, we just knew he was a cute little kid (cause some kids ARE ugly or awkward and don’t make you think ‘hey I bet they’ll turn out as an attractive adult!’\*) and had attractive older siblings and parents so it was a good chance he’d grow up to be good looking too. I can see how someone COULD say a comment like this in a way that was creepy, but I’ve never heard it that way. And I’ve only personally heard it said from relatives/close friends who do it in a more teasing way like my friend and I did to her brother, or at least in a matter-of-fact way “that kid will grow up and be attractive”. It’s not about sex or sexual attraction. I find WAY more people attractive than sexually attractive, there is a difference! \*some awkward kids do grow up attractive, or at least get better with age (like I think I did somewhat) and some cute kids grow up hella ugly. so who knows ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-statement-about-young-girls-strike-you-as-odd/525053/76 "2010-01-15T23:35:47Z")
Not odd or creepy, IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/4bbf92/32.png) [@Heart\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heart_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2010, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-statement-about-young-girls-strike-you-as-odd/525053/77 "2010-01-15T23:46:37Z")
> [@Unintentionally\_Blank](#): > > Doesn’t make it right, doesn’t make it wrong. It just is. > [@CookingWithGas](#): > > How many daughters do you have and how old are they? I realize I probably should have just let it drop, but if you’re still interested in discussing this, I started a new [thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=548046). ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2010, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-statement-about-young-girls-strike-you-as-odd/525053/78 "2010-01-16T00:00:49Z")
I don’t think the comment is creepy at all in itself (though the OP knows her father best, so if it did unsettle her perhaps it was in a context we don’t know about). It’s just weird when you’ve also got guys who ticked down the days to the Olsen twins’ 18th birthdays, men who think little girls are open game as soon as they get breasts at 11, or people who fawn over little girls and their current/future beauty to the point where they pretty much have it drummed into them that their looks are all (or the most important thing) they have going for them so a) They don’t need to develop brains or a personality (in fact, that might make them less attractive), and b) They’d better not lose them (so why not start dieting, wearing make-up, considering implants at 14). But offhand, it’s pretty normal. Just try not to say it too much around their less (potentially) attractive siblings or friends. Complexes, all around. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2010, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-statement-about-young-girls-strike-you-as-odd/525053/79 "2010-01-16T17:49:28Z")
> [@The\_Bith\_Shuffle](#): > > When I lived with my father between the ages of sixteen and eighteen, we lived next door to a Hispanic couple who had at least two daughters. I’m pretty sure that they were all under ten. > > My father said something like “they have the most beautiful daughters. You can just tell that they’re going to grow up to be knockouts.” > > The statement really unsettled me. Why was he thinking about how sexually attractive our neighbors’ daughters would be when they grew up? My father was about sixty at the time he said this. > > Don’t get me wrong, I am not suggesting **at all** that my father was **in any way** a pedophile. But I just have to ask, does this statement strike any of you as being indicative of some sort of sexually twisted or immature mindset? That you feel this this common as dirt expression which is was often expressed by older men of a certain era as a compliment to female children needs to be deconstructed and teased into something inappropriate or an illumination of your father’s sexual inclinations is bizarre. I’m 51 and I made a similar compliment to a 9 year old girl last night to some friends of mine. They were in the same restaurant and as I passed we struck up a conversation. She introduced her sister and her sister’s 9 year old daughter who were visting. She was a pretty little girl in an all American wholesome way, but what struck me in this little girl’s conversation was her usually mature poise. She was just a kid, but (at least in public) but when she spoke it was like talking with a 30 year old. I complimented her mother and aunt telling her she reminded me of a young Elizabeth Taylor in the poised way she spoke and carried herself. We chatted some more about current events and I left. Now maybe I was mis-reading my friend and the kid’s mom, but they were literally beaming with pleasure when I told them this. To think that someone would be trying to disassemble my compliment for hidden psycho-sexual pedophilic urges says more about the person rooting for dirt in this situation than it does the compliment giver. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2010, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-statement-about-young-girls-strike-you-as-odd/525053/80 "2010-01-16T19:38:52Z")
> [@astro](#): > > That you feel this this common as dirt expression which is was often expressed by older men of a certain era as a compliment to female children needs to be deconstructed and teased into something inappropriate or an illumination of your father’s sexual inclinations is bizarre. Commas are your friend. So are semi-colons. Hell, so are periods. By contrast, sentences like the one I quoted are _nobody’s_ friend. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-statement-about-young-girls-strike-you-as-odd/525053.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-this-statement-about-young-girls-strike-you-as-odd/525053.md?page=5)