# Does unconditional love really exist? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [March 11, 2011, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-unconditional-love-really-exist/574333 "2011-03-11T21:50:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2013, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-unconditional-love-really-exist/574333/101 "2013-05-21T17:40:28Z")
> [@lekatt](#): > > When you say something is an emotion you are only saying that it moves. > Does not say what it is. Do you not know how to use a dictionary? ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2013, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-unconditional-love-really-exist/574333/102 "2013-05-21T18:57:35Z")
Well, as has been said, we have only conjecture to go on, since the Celtling has a heart of gold and never does a bad turn on purpose. šŸ˜‰ But I can imagine a scenario inwhich she had done something Dahmer-esque, and I would still love her. I might hate what sheā€™d done, and whatever circumstances brought her to that turn, and even agree that she needed to be restrained for life. But I would still walk beside her through the court process, and even pay for a lawyer if I could. Iā€™d love her every step of the way, and the knowledge that her punishment was deserved would probably do little to assuage my grief at the knowledge she was suffering. Iā€™d even visi her in court, and try to help her make as much of the rest of her life as she could, within the limits sheā€™d brought upon herself. I love her no matter what. I firmly believe that thereā€™s nothing she, or anyone else could do to change that. ---
**Author:** ![lekatt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lekatt/32/7269_2.png) [@lekatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lekatt)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2013, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-unconditional-love-really-exist/574333/103 "2013-05-21T19:17:19Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Do you not know how to use a dictionary? You find out what love is by loving and I donā€™t mean sex. Love holds things together when love is absent things fall apart. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2013, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-unconditional-love-really-exist/574333/104 "2013-05-21T19:28:15Z")
> [@lekatt](#): > > You find out what love is by loving and I donā€™t mean sex. > Love holds things together when love is absent things fall apart. Spewing out random sentences that contain the word ā€œloveā€ is not the same thing as having a conversation. I stated that ā€œloveā€ is an emotion, you asked what an emotion is then gave a nonsense definition not found anywhere but your imagination. Here is a commonly understood definition of ā€œemotionā€: > [@Merriam-Webster Dictionary](#): > > emoĀ·tion > noun \i-Ėˆmō-shən\ > > Definition of EMOTION > 1 > a obsolete : disturbance > b : excitement > 2 > a : the affective aspect of consciousness : feeling > b : a state of feeling > c : a conscious mental reaction (as anger or fear) subjectively experienced as strong feeling usually directed toward a specific object and typically accompanied by physiological and behavioral changes in the body ---
**Author:** ![lekatt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lekatt/32/7269_2.png) [@lekatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lekatt)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2013, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-unconditional-love-really-exist/574333/105 "2013-05-21T20:40:28Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Spewing out random sentences that contain the word ā€œloveā€ is not the same thing as having a conversation. I stated that ā€œloveā€ is an emotion, you asked what an emotion is then gave a nonsense definition not found anywhere but your imagination. Here is a commonly understood definition of ā€œemotionā€: I read that also. When you feel unconditional love you will see how inadequate that label is. Love starts with yourself, do you love yourself is the first question in the discussion. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2013, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-unconditional-love-really-exist/574333/106 "2013-05-21T22:08:41Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > It 's an emotion. Where was love before there was sentient life? Thatā€™s the question ā€“ are we talking about the emotion or the reason? Love the warm tingling feeling, or love the reasoning that I want good for others, I want what God wants for them, even if I donā€™t have a positive feeling for them at all (for example, people I donā€™t know and will never meet)? And yes, you need to love yourself and believe you are worthy of good and of what God wants for you before you can love others. ---
**Author:** ![lekatt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lekatt/32/7269_2.png) [@lekatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lekatt)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2013, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-unconditional-love-really-exist/574333/107 "2013-05-21T23:58:55Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > Thatā€™s the question ā€“ are we talking about the emotion or the reason? Love the warm tingling feeling, or love the reasoning that I want good for others, I want what God wants for them, even if I donā€™t have a positive feeling for them at all (for example, people I donā€™t know and will never meet)? And yes, you need to love yourself and believe you are worthy of good and of what God wants for you before you can love others. hey, hey šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![lekatt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lekatt/32/7269_2.png) [@lekatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lekatt)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2013, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-unconditional-love-really-exist/574333/108 "2013-05-22T14:18:34Z")
> [@lekatt](#): > > I read that also. When you feel unconditional love you will see how inadequate that > label is. Love starts with yourself, do you love yourself is the first question in the discussion. I would like to add that self-love will cure so-called mental illness as it grows stronger and eliminates anxiety and fear. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2013, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-unconditional-love-really-exist/574333/109 "2013-05-22T14:23:44Z")
> [@lekatt](#): > > I would like to add that self-love will cure so-called mental illness > as it grows stronger and eliminates anxiety and fear. And to think that ā€œself-loveā€ was actually considered to be a disease itself. Now it actually cures mental illness-will wonders never cease! ---
**Author:** ![Carnacki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b5e925/32.png) [@Carnacki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carnacki)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2013, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-unconditional-love-really-exist/574333/110 "2013-05-22T14:30:12Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > And to think that ā€œself-loveā€ was actually considered to be a disease itself. Now it actually cures mental illness-will wonders never cease! How much for a 90-day prescription? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2013, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-unconditional-love-really-exist/574333/111 "2013-05-22T14:36:13Z")
> [@Carnacki](#): > > How much for a 90-day prescription? I think by definition youā€™ve have to handle that yourself. ---
**Author:** ![lekatt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lekatt/32/7269_2.png) [@lekatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lekatt)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2013, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-unconditional-love-really-exist/574333/112 "2013-05-22T16:08:50Z")
> [@Carnacki](#): > > How much for a 90-day prescription? Nothing in money its free, but learning to love yourself usually takes longer than 90 days. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2013, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-unconditional-love-really-exist/574333/113 "2013-05-22T16:19:38Z")
> [@lekatt](#): > > Nothing in money its free, but learning to love yourself usually takes longer than 90 days. It took me about three minutes to figure it out the first time. ---
**Author:** ![lekatt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lekatt/32/7269_2.png) [@lekatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lekatt)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2013, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-unconditional-love-really-exist/574333/114 "2013-05-22T17:12:16Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > It took me about three minutes to figure it out the first time. That is fast. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2013, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-unconditional-love-really-exist/574333/115 "2013-05-22T17:17:14Z")
> [@lekatt](#): > > That is fast. Once I got the hang of it, I was able to take longer. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2013, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-unconditional-love-really-exist/574333/116 "2013-05-23T12:10:09Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Once I got the hang of it, I was able to take longer. And the proper reading material can help sometimes, too. ---
**Author:** ![lekatt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lekatt/32/7269_2.png) [@lekatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lekatt)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2013, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-unconditional-love-really-exist/574333/117 "2013-05-23T14:18:33Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > And the proper reading material can help sometimes, too. What do you read? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2013, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-unconditional-love-really-exist/574333/118 "2013-05-23T14:25:39Z")
Laurell Hamilton, Poppy Z. Brite, and others. ---
**Author:** ![lekatt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lekatt/32/7269_2.png) [@lekatt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lekatt)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2013, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-unconditional-love-really-exist/574333/119 "2013-05-23T15:14:22Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > Laurell Hamilton, Poppy Z. Brite, and others. I donā€™t believe in Vampires. ---
**Author:** ![Moon\_Meyers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47774/32.png) [@Moon\_Meyers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moon_Meyers)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2013, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-unconditional-love-really-exist/574333/120 "2013-05-23T15:21:38Z")
back to the question. the term ā€œloveā€ is very problematic. how about unpacking the phrase ā€œunconditional love?ā€ Is there such a thing as an unconditional experience? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-unconditional-love-really-exist/574333.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-unconditional-love-really-exist/574333.md?page=7)