# Does your kid's school do this? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 27, 2001, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-kids-school-do-this/84018 "2001-09-27T00:46:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![papergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/aca169/32.png) [@papergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/papergirl)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-kids-school-do-this/84018/21 "2001-09-27T13:25:51Z")
> [@](#): > > . Out of curiousity, when you attended this sign-up meeting, how many parents did volunteer to take on a troop WITHOUT having to be shamed into it? These organizations simply can’t run without volunteers, and volunteers are in short supply. I have no idea, but a few of the age groups had parents who seemed to be signing up. Problem is, when you have maybe 4 kids in your age groups, and they want 2 parents from each group. In our group, one couple were very aged grandparents. I was 8 months pregnant and also had a 1 year old (plus the two older ones), and the other parents were already involved in too many after-school activities to afford the extra time. I guess I don’t think it’s okay to have to _shame_ anyone into volunteering for things like this. And I wouldn’t belong to an organization that relied on this type of tactic in order to recruit. It’s misleading and I can’t believe that an organization that purports to promote good social values relies on it. Nope, I don’t have an answer, either. But I do know that pulling a trick like this won’t work on me. It has caused me to lose respect for the local Boy Scout organization. Maybe other areas have different techniques, I don’t know. > [@](#): > > As for the rest of your reply, I am going to assume you were responding to what you thought was a flame directed at you, and you got unnecessarily defensive. I think anytime you get into talking about “busting your ass” while other parents are obviously _not_ doing the same, people are going to get defensive, and often rightly so. Maybe that particular remark wasn’t directed at me, but then again, I’m not sure anyone deserves that kind of treatment without more evidence than being irritated that some even was misrepresented. _sigh_ This comes from my years of teaching special ed…always gotta stand up for anyone I think is being put down or treated unfairly. > [@](#): > > And I can’t believe teachers keep on doing what they do for so little thanks. One of the reasons I am involved as much as I am. Your kids’ teachers appreciate it, I know, and your kids will too, even if they don’t now. I just think it’s important to keep in mind that being a Scout leader or volunteering for PTA are not the only ways to keep involved in your kids’ lives. Some people choose different paths, and I think that’s okay. I think the point of the whole OP is the misleading information that drew her to the event in the first place, and I can’t disagree with her. I’m an adult, and I want the truth, ugly as it may be. “PTA meeting followed by Meet the Teachers” is appropriate and honest, and they wouldn’t end up with an auditorium full of irritated parents. ~karol ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-kids-school-do-this/84018/22 "2001-09-27T13:38:15Z")
The PTA or whatever they call it at my daughter’s school meets in the middle of the afternoon. If I wanted to be an active participant, I’d have to take time off work. Come to think of it, it’s been that way in every school she’s attended. I have no idea what goes on in a PTA meeting. Daughter and I came to an understanding on fund-raisers. There are 2 I’ll support because I like what they’re selling. The rest she doesn’t even mess with. In the long run, it’s cheaper for me to write a check for her “Fair Share” than to buy overpriced wrapping paper or candies. What angers me, though, is that the lottery was supposed to enhance education funds. Yeah, right. Then why do I have to cough up $60 for her to be in the chorus (an elective for which she is graded) and $85 for the dress for chorus (no choir robes in this school)… I’m glad I just have one kid. ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-kids-school-do-this/84018/23 "2001-09-27T20:16:44Z")
Not sure how this turned into a girl scouts debate, but knock yourselves out, I have boys, so I dont ‘do girl scouts’ I actually DO get very involved at the scolls when I can,I cant very well take a sick day to supervise a field trip, or read to them, but when I was between gigs,I was ALWAYS along on fieldtrips, visiting the school, orgaizing fund raisers, being a parent volunteer.I pride myself on the support I give my boys’ teachers, they are with them more hours per day than I am, and I need to be allied with them, and they need my support in return. That being said, it certainly is not the work of the teachers to plot this deceitful ‘meet the teacher’ crap,that is ALL the work ot the Home and School association, and THAT is exactly indicative of the snotty, heavy handed way they run things. They are in charge of fund raising for equipment, hot lunch programs (these schools dont have cafeterias, the food has to be ordered in and paid ahead of time), and I have NO STOMACH for the pseudo-eletist crap they pull. Teachers, I love, politics are NOT my thing. FCM: > [@](#): > > The PTA or whatever they call it at my daughter’s school meets in the middle of the afternoon. If I wanted to be an active participant, I’d have to take time off work. Come to think of it, it’s been that way in every school she’s attended. I have no idea what goes on in a PTA meeting. anothe example of the Mrs Cleaver mentality these school have!!! They really think every kid has a stay home mom! the boneheads. ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2001, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-kids-school-do-this/84018/24 "2001-09-28T00:08:16Z")
Gotta tell you, **kellibelli** and **FairyChatMom** , that I have never heard of a parent-teacher group that meets during the day! Just a question, and I mean this totally without censure: if you want to be more involved, or if you feel your input is not being taken into consideration, why wouldn’t you drop a note to the people who run these things? As far as pseudo-elitism goes, I have heard people say our PTO is elitist, and their reasoning was “you all know one another and you’re a little buddy-buddy group”. Well, duh. How do you think we got to know one another? I’m not asking you to take time off work or school to be in the PTA or PTO or whatever… but you also need to understand that those of us who are have JUST as many demands on our time and energy, and we can’t always tread lightly on your feelings. Like anyone else, we’re just trying to do our jobs. ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2001, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-kids-school-do-this/84018/25 "2001-09-28T00:47:33Z")
Nicely put, but, if your job is to recruit new members, then you honestly think LYING to the parents proves what a great organization you are? My rant is noth that I think there should be no PTA, its that they LIED to me to get me to attend their meeting. Let me try again… I support the school in as many ways as I can, I sell the chocolate bars, and I bake the cookies, but I REFUSE TO BE BULLIED OR TRICKED INTO GOING TO THE FUCKING MEETINGS! Clear enough? I SUPPORT THE PTA, volunteers at the SPCA, the candy stripers and Habitat for Humanity…but I CANT DONATE MY FUCKING TIME!!! And even if I could, I wouldnt spend that time with deceitfull pricks like my local PT-fucking-A. (and NO, I havent complained to anyone, among many reasons, these people do a fine job, I have no complaint about how they are running schoolstuff, and the lying shit has the support of the local school board, I doubt I would get any sympathy.) ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2001, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-kids-school-do-this/84018/26 "2001-09-28T03:12:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kamikazee \* > \*\*We have been in 3 different school districts over the years, and without exception they all cry about lack of parental involvement. Well… I give them maximum involvement, I call constantly and visit the school regularly. I ask lots of questions and hold administration and teachers feet to the fire (so to speak). What I have learned is that the “we want parental involvement” many times is just lip service. When a parent is truly involved they can’t handle it. After all these are my kids, probably the single most important thing in my life :), I am not wiling to let some disinterested third party have more influence over them than I do. We have been very lucky to have had only 3 teachers and one principal that needed to be “retrained”. This is over 10 years and 3 kids. \*\* Wife of a teacher here. One thing I have observed: Teachers like parents who are involved. They do not like parents who think “involvement” means “insisting that the school be run solely for the benefit of my little darling.” I have to wonder why you feel the need to call “constantly.” Granted, there are lots of shitty teachers and administrators out there, and parents need to look out for their kids, but most of the time, the teachers and the principals are trying to run the school in a way that benefits most of the kids most of the time. That’s the best that they can do. And if you don’t want a third party having that much influence over your kids, why don’t you homeschool? ---
**Author:** ![MFS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/da6949/32.png) [@MFS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MFS)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2001, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-kids-school-do-this/84018/27 "2001-09-28T03:18:05Z")
the joy. thank God what you have so vividly described is still 4 years away. I hope whatever school my son ends up going to is not that “devious”… ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2001, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-kids-school-do-this/84018/28 "2001-09-29T00:44:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LifeOnWry \* > \*\*Gotta tell you, **kellibelli** and **FairyChatMom** , that I have never heard of a parent-teacher group that meets during the day! Just a question, and I mean this totally without censure: if you want to be more involved, or if you feel your input is not being taken into consideration, why wouldn’t you drop a note to the people who run these things? > \*\* Actually, I’m not champing at the bit to get involved at that level. I pay my annual fee and send in baked goods or whatever when asked, but I prefer to work directly with my daughter’s classes and activities when I can - chaperoning, contributing to the auction, kicking in as requested for the spaghetti dinner. If I didn’t have a full-time job, I’d likely do more - as it is, I do what I am able within my personal and time constraints. I admire the parents who give so much of themselves to the organizations and activities. I choose to contribute my own way. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-kids-school-do-this/84018.md?page=1)