# Does Your Sexual Attraction Age As You Do? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 6, 2011, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-sexual-attraction-age-as-you-do/577339 "2011-04-06T01:16:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-sexual-attraction-age-as-you-do/577339/22 "2011-04-06T13:42:24Z")
What’s happened to/with me is that as I have approached 70 (with less than a year to go) my tolerance of the appearance of older people has mellowed, both genders. My main attraction is to younger women, in the 18-40 year range, with notable exceptions at either end of the spectrum. But now I find that I’m not as unforgiving of older women’s appeal. Not that I’m necessarily attracted to them but just that I’m more tolerant of wrinkles and sags and excess flesh. It’s surely a function of my own aging, and I’m equally sure that whatever appeal I may have had to others (whatever gender) is lessening as the years go by. Thus I am less vain and particular about how I look. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-sexual-attraction-age-as-you-do/577339/23 "2011-04-06T14:01:01Z")
One of my fellow high school teachers once observed that “You know it’s time to retire when you don’t find the students at all attractive, but some of their mothers are _hawt_!” ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-sexual-attraction-age-as-you-do/577339/24 "2011-04-06T14:33:21Z")
I knew I was getting old when I was checking out the mom in a minivan commercial, and thinking what a hottie she was. I’m 36, straght, male. ---
**Author:** ![KinkiNipponTourist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e9bcb4/32.png) [@KinkiNipponTourist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KinkiNipponTourist)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-sexual-attraction-age-as-you-do/577339/25 "2011-04-06T14:48:12Z")
Yup. I look at 20-somethings, and think “woo, where were you 20 years ago?” Guys who are my type, but just way too young. I feel kinda wistful, but still don’t feel attracted to them. On the other end of the spectrum, I’m 45, but 50 still feels too old to me. I’m sure I’ll get over that hangup very soon, heh. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 2:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-sexual-attraction-age-as-you-do/577339/26 "2011-04-06T14:48:17Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > One of my fellow high school teachers once observed that “You know it’s time to retire when you don’t find the students at all attractive, but some of their mothers are _hawt_!” A few months ago, I was stuck behind a school bus loading students. I was wondering why some of the kids didn’t get on board until I realized they were the moms. ---
**Author:** ![Mr\_Downtown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Mr\_Downtown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr_Downtown)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-sexual-attraction-age-as-you-do/577339/27 "2011-04-06T15:12:32Z")
Alas, no. I’m 53, and pretty repulsed by the idea of being with a guy my age. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-sexual-attraction-age-as-you-do/577339/28 "2011-04-06T17:41:51Z")
> [@KinkiNipponTourist](#): > > Yup. I look at 20-somethings, and think “woo, where were you 20 years ago?” In Kindergarten, I suspect? ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-sexual-attraction-age-as-you-do/577339/29 "2011-04-06T18:45:09Z")
Yep; in fact, I was just talking with a friend about this on Saturday night. A couple of weeks ago I was out at a small local bar to hear some live jazz, and near the end of the night a guy started talking to me: I found out that he was somewhere around 50-51 years old, and _it wasn’t a dealbreaker_. :eek: 😉 I turn 40 this year, and have always preferred to date a few years older than my current age – so, right now, someone who is around 45 would be perfect. It was a bit of a shock to discover/realize that 50 is no longer out of the question. In this guy’s case it helped that he didn’t look his age, but that used to not matter: just a year or two ago, 50 was as much of a dealbreaker as 20 was/is. I also distinctly remember, about a decade ago, when the dads on sitcoms started to be more attractive than the sons. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-sexual-attraction-age-as-you-do/577339/30 "2011-04-06T18:50:59Z")
Yes. Related story: At one point I remember thinking, “Older boys were all well and good when I was 18, because that meant he was 25. Now older men have ex wives and kids,” which puts me off, but yes, my preference is still for men 10-15 years my senior. When I see a little grey in a man’s hair, it makes me happy. A guy in his late 30s is right up my alley. I don’t even look at boys in their 20s. ---
**Author:** ![Haunted\_Pasta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/94ad74/32.png) [@Haunted\_Pasta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Haunted_Pasta)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-sexual-attraction-age-as-you-do/577339/31 "2011-04-06T18:58:56Z")
I still recall an amusing conversation my college roommate and I had during our senior year. We were both 21 at the time. It was mostly him doing the observing, but I completely understood and agreed. “When I was 13, the perfect woman was 17. When I was 17, the perfect woman was… 17. Now that I’m 21, the perfect woman is… ummm, 17. Is this going to start changing soon? Because it needs to.” Fortunately, of course, it did. These days I’m 44, and I can say with complete honesty that I feel no sexual attraction towards girls in their teens or very early 20’s. I see a lot of them as beautiful, certainly. I also still have an (almost?) involuntary reflex to glance at significant cleavage when it appears, regardless of the age of its bearer. But, I just never, ever fantasize about having sex with females this young. And not because of any inferred social or ethical standard- they just plain don’t appeal to me that way. On the other hand, one of the women who cares for my younger son in day care is totally a GILF. ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-sexual-attraction-age-as-you-do/577339/32 "2011-04-06T19:02:18Z")
For my response I’m considering attraction in a general superficial way. For actual sexual attraction I need emotional involvement blah, blah, blah. In terms of just a response based on someone’s appearance I did start to notice about five years ago that if I see a picture in a magazine and think “hey, he’s hot” and then find out the man is younger than 20 I feel just a little pervy. I figure it’s okay to leer at a 22 year old Calvin Klein underwear model. He knew what he was getting into when he took that job, but it really is more of a “that’s pretty” reaction than “I wanna get with that.” ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-sexual-attraction-age-as-you-do/577339/33 "2011-04-06T19:29:45Z")
I was always attracted to older guys. Now those older guys have become more “guys my age” and most boys under 24 or so look way too young and boyish. I have never been interested in boyish. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-sexual-attraction-age-as-you-do/577339/34 "2011-04-06T20:37:42Z")
Yup, my attraction is definitely aging. I see college students and they look like children to me, even though I’ll only be 28 in July. I couldn’t imagine dating anyone younger than 25–and even that would be a bit weird, 'cause that’s how old my little\* brother is. \*25, 6’2" or so, married, with a Masters. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-sexual-attraction-age-as-you-do/577339/35 "2011-04-06T20:43:58Z")
Even as a wee lad, I thought Natalie Schaeffer (who played Mrs. Howell) was kind of cute.\* Not Mary Ann hot, certainly, not even as pretty as Ginger, but not bad looking at all. But I’ve always liked faces first of all. As to the broader question … well, I thought Stephanie G., the girl I lost my virginity to, was the cutest little thing in our school, but I wouldn’t find an identical girl that age remotely attractive now. I can’t even wrap my mind around it. Contrariwise, my upper limit on what makes a hot chick is a lot higher now than it was when I was 20. In fact, it may reasonably be defined as _Bonnie Raitt_. Of course, my continuing esteem for her may just be a legacy thing. \*As may be evidenced by the fact that I knew her name off the top of my head. Though that may just mean I should have spent more time outside as a wee lad. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-sexual-attraction-age-as-you-do/577339/36 "2011-04-06T20:50:04Z")
As usual, I am the odd one out. My choice of age range is the same as it has always been - 17-35. With one exception, fortunately, but if that exception is no longer available I may have to be a Dirty Old Man. Not necessarily a _successful_ Dirty Old Man, but that’s how my inclinations will lie. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-sexual-attraction-age-as-you-do/577339/37 "2011-04-06T20:55:09Z")
To answer the OP question: Yes. I’m lucky (I think) that I’ve always found girls first/women later who are close to my own age to be most attractive. I’m 60, and it still applies. I should add that I’m happily married to my first wife for 40 years now; the attraction I described is more along the lines of “That woman is attractive”, rather than “I’d sure like to do it with her.” (Or whatever it is that horndogs say.) . ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-sexual-attraction-age-as-you-do/577339/38 "2011-04-06T21:01:12Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > And, I still can appreciate 18-year-olds, even if I recognize that sort of makes me a dirty old man. In my 60 year old opinion, any attraction I might have felt for a perfect 18 year old would be instantly doused by the realization that sooner or later she would open her mouth and say something. (Very loosely paraphrasing Bill Cosby, talking about realizing that some of his 17 year old daughter’s friends were sexy.) ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2011, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-sexual-attraction-age-as-you-do/577339/39 "2011-04-06T21:17:16Z")
> [@bump](#): > > I think that your appreciation grows with age; what looked impossibly OLD at 20 looks decent nowadays. By that same token, there are a lot of college-age girls who look really frighteningly young. Attractive, but in a jailbait kind of way. That’s what I find too. And I really have to say that maturity goes a _long_ way for sex appeal for me. And I’m talking about attitude. I might see a 21 year-old hottie at the gym and think she’s attractive, but as soon as she opens her mouth and says something that betrays the fact that she just hasn’t lived a whole lot of adult life, she totally loses her shine. It doesn’t matter if she’s 40, if a woman looks/sounds/acts like a teenager, it’s a total turn off, and for some reason I’m finding more and more 20-somethings talk like teenagers. That might just be my near-middle-aged self expecting 20-somethings to act more grown up, when they _never_ actually did. I don’t remember me or my peers being that naive in my 20s, but maybe I was and never noticed. ---
**Author:** ![ThisOneGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c0e974/32.png) [@ThisOneGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisOneGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2011, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-sexual-attraction-age-as-you-do/577339/40 "2011-04-07T02:54:57Z")
I’ll be a dirty old man with Shodan. At age 16, I said 14-40. Now just a few months from 40 myself, I find the lower end hasn’t changed, but the upper has streched a bit. I never got anywhere with teenage girls when I was a teenager, don’t expect or even really want to get anywhere when them today. I remember a time about ten years ago walking on the beach in San Diego. Two girls were coming the other way, around 17-18 years old or so. They were just perfect, exactly what you might expect for the cover of California Bikini Girls magazine. Then as they passed, I heard a brief part of thier conversation. I was instantly transported back to the hell that was high school. The cliques, the casual cruelty. I still enjoy teenage girls, but I try to do so from farther away. ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2011, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-sexual-attraction-age-as-you-do/577339/41 "2011-04-07T14:09:47Z")
> [@kenobi\_65](#): > > It’s broadening. > > When I was 18, I wasn’t particularly attracted to women much past their late 20s. And, of course, I was very attracted to 18-year-old girls. > > Now that I’m 46, I find (pretty) women of my own age very attractive. And, I still can appreciate 18-year-olds, even if I recognize that sort of makes me a dirty old man. Yep. When I was in my mid forties I lived with a very lovely woman about 10 years younger than me, and had dated younger very attractive women in the ten years before that. Then I took a long hiatus from dating and relationships. I found myself in my early mid fifties dating again and wondering, not knowing quite how to view women in my age group, or what to expect. Mature enough to value things beyond appearance, but still having to deal with attraction, and physical chemistry. Now after some dating, I find I am more able to appreciate the combination of personality, and attitude, that go with physical attraction, to make mature women very beautiful. When I was in my 20s it was much more about physical appearance. I’m still able to appreciate the physical beauty of young ladies but am not drawn to them. I do occasionally wonder if money would change things. If I had a lot of it, women much younger than I am would be more attainable and more interested. Would I be? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-sexual-attraction-age-as-you-do/577339.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-sexual-attraction-age-as-you-do/577339.md?page=3)