# Does your stapler work?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-stapler-work/248108
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [June 1, 2004, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-stapler-work/248108 "2004-06-01T18:06:52Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2004, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-stapler-work/248108/1 "2004-06-01T18:06:52Z")
This is one of my on going polls.
My pet theory is that the stapler manufacturors produce about a 1:1,000,000,000 ratio of staplers that work. One being the working number, one million being the faulty ones that everyone owns thus causing Stapler Rage which transfers over into other areas of the workspace.
We have three staplers in the house. Two are complete shit seventy five percent of the time ( which seems to be the times I use it.It works fine with my husband, but he pummels it with a beefy fist into submission which brings him great satisfaction.) and the one that works is an old Swingline that has been around since Truman was in office. It has never let me down.
If my house catches on fire, I am grabbing my Swingline.
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### Author:  [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2004, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-stapler-work/248108/2 "2004-06-01T18:21:05Z")
You can’t go wrong with a Swingline!
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### Author:  [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2004, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-stapler-work/248108/3 "2004-06-01T18:24:59Z")
I have a Swingline in the office here and I would _not_ recommend it. It sucks. It was discovered that the only way to make it work reliably is to buy expensive staples. So maybe the problem with the three staplers at home is due to the staple choice. Maybe your powder is wet, so to speak.
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### Author:  [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2004, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-stapler-work/248108/4 "2004-06-01T18:26:55Z")
Actually I don’t think I’ve ever used a stapler that _didn’t_ work.
I have a similar theory to yours about fridge/freezer doors. I believe that about 95 percent of fridges with freezer compartments or front opening freezers older than 2 years have at least one broken door. (that falls off every time you open the main door)
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### Author:  [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2004, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-stapler-work/248108/5 "2004-06-01T18:31:52Z")
A stapler is far too valuable a piece of a equipment to ever let lapse into disrepair. I recently replaced a broken no-name desk model with a cool rubberized ergonomically designed Swingline, but my real pride and joy is a mini Swingline, which is compact in size, but takes regular staples. Even after three years of fairly hazardous in-backpack service it is still fastening papers together with admirable efficiency. It’s made from sassy semi-transparent orange plastic, with a keen little hatch for storing extra staples.
If my students fail to staple their homework, they automatically get a point off. Paperclip? Nice try. I confiscate the paperclip, replace it with a staple, and take a point off anyway. I don’t have any graduate students to handle this crap for me, and I don’t get paid enough to mix-n-match loose papers or untangle the paperclips that get caught on everyone else’s homework and pop off at the slightest provocation. And don’t get me started on people who fold over the corner and tear it. All the unreliability and inconvenience of a paperclip, and as a bonus, it looks like crap, too!
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### Author:  [@stpauler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stpauler)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2004, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-stapler-work/248108/6 "2004-06-01T18:33:04Z")
I’ve got an electric Swingline here at work that has never failed me. I’ve had it for almost 6 years now.
The Bostitch heavy duty stapler for the bigger wads of paper, well, that’s a piece of $#!t.
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### Author:  [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2004, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-stapler-work/248108/7 "2004-06-01T18:43:49Z")
Swingline is the best brand of stapler I’ve ever used. I really should have taken the one from my office when I quit my job. The one we have at home is a Boston and it sucks.
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### Author:  [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2004, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-stapler-work/248108/8 "2004-06-01T18:50:51Z")
I have a new Swingline at work, but, alas, it’s black, not red. It works great.
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### Author:  [@stuyguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stuyguy)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2004, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-stapler-work/248108/9 "2004-06-01T19:44:46Z")
I too own two never-fail Truman-era Swinglines. (If only my girlfriends were as loyal as these babies!) They are long and steel and sport the reassuring heft of a small battleship. One of them even has an engraved plate claiming it is “[NYC] Board of Education Property.” It didn’t steal it, I swear, but I didn’t exactly buy it either. Regardless, I’ll be damned if ever give it up without a stiff fight.
Some people claim that the finest product to come out of Queens, NYC is the Steinway piano. I disagree. It’s the Swingline stapler. (Or at least it used to be. They may have moved away and/or started making crappy staplers. I wouldn’t know – my two “ol’ reliables” have never needed replacing and probably won’t in the forseeable future!)
FWIW, I too have heard that crappy _staples_ are at least partially responsible for much of the world’s stapling woes.
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### Author:  [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2004, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-stapler-work/248108/10 "2004-06-01T20:07:39Z")
I’ve got a Swingline at work that I put a label on saying TWICKSTER in big red letters. (Actually, I used my IRL first name, since labeling it “twickster” would lead to all sorts of odd questions.) Laugh, minions, laugh – that’s my stapler and I’ll pull a Milton before I’ll let you “borrow” it and “forget” to return it.
Actually, earlier today it was acting up, a little – I took out some defective staples and we’re back in business. So, yeah, another vote for bad staples being a major source of stapler malfunction.
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### Author:  [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2004, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-stapler-work/248108/11 "2004-06-01T20:25:50Z")
I have a new Swingline which is so-so. I can tell it’s only a matter of time before it gives up the ghost.
My pride and joy, however, is a stapler that I first met while working in Italy. It is a sporty red Romeo Maestri Primula 6, and I was so taken with it, and sang its praises so loudly, that when I left the Italian office, my coworkers there presented me with the stapler, and what (so far) seems to be a lifetime supply of staples (which are different than the standard size here). I almost _want_ to run out of staples, because then I will have the dubious distinction of being the freak in the office who orders _imported staples from Italy._
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### Author:  [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2004, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-stapler-work/248108/12 "2004-06-01T20:38:22Z")
Hmm, I’m guessing ‘Swingline’ is a popular brand of Stapler :dubious:
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### Author:  [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2004, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-stapler-work/248108/13 "2004-06-01T20:53:26Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Laugh, minions, laugh – that’s my stapler and I’ll pull a Milton before I’ll let you “borrow” it and “forget” to return it.
Pull a Milton…heeee. Don’t fark with Milton.
> [@](#):
>
> My pride and joy, however, is a stapler that I first met while working in Italy. It is a sporty red Romeo Maestri Primula 6, and I was so taken with it, and sang its praises so loudly, that when I left the Italian office, my coworkers there presented me with the stapler, and what (so far) seems to be a lifetime supply of staples (which are different than the standard size here).
You are no freak. You’ve got it all wrong. Don’t order imported staples…you go there to buy them. And you need help me with this important job.
I googled [it](http://www.vikingop.it/(vfiluyrwzgh4mvmxuppzpjjr)/catalogFamily.aspx?ID=816702)
I would like to state that \*Romeo Maestri Primula 6 \* would be a great name for a rock and roll band, except it probably involves Trademark laws and such nonsense.
**Lobsang** just for [you](http://www.swingline.com/html/1646.html)
And for everyone else, [The Milton](http://www.swingline.com/html/1695.html).
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### Author:  [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2004, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-stapler-work/248108/14 "2004-06-01T20:58:49Z")
Because you know you were thinking about this, \*\*Shirley Ujest Productions in conjuction with \*\*WhatMeWork Inc \*\*? proudly presents:
\*\*\*The Evolution of Staplers \*\*\* ::::Cue Dramatic Music :::::::
> [@](#):
>
> The Evolution of the [Stapler](http://www.swingline.com/html/1945.html)
>
> ```
> Did you ever wonder who created the everyday things we have in our lives, such as the sandwich - - and the stapler?
>
> ```
>
> Well, tracing these creations isn’t as easy as it seems. Take the sandwich. Ask people who put together the first sandwich, and most of them will say the Earl of Sandwich. Here is how the story goes:
>
> James Montagu IV, the Fourth Earl of Sandwich was enjoying a winning streak at the card table, which he refused to leave for 24-hours. To sustain himself, he ordered slices of meat between two slices of bread. Although it’s believed the Earl actually ordered this snack, he really didn’t invent the sandwich.
>
> The Romans ate sandwiches, and so did European peasants. However, it should be acknowledged that the Earl of Sandwich did start this trend, and Englishmen started using the word “sandwich” as early as 1765.
>
> However, if you were a contestant on a television game show and were asked who invented the stapler - a necessary piece of equipment in any of today’s offices - the answer wouldn’t be as concise or as straightforward.
>
> It is believed that in the 1200s, people attempted to fasten papers together with a short ribbon. Each piece of paper had a cut in the upper left hand corner. A process was used to seal and connect the papers with wax and ribbons. Although this method was used for almost 600 hundred years, it is unclear whom to credit for this early fastening method.
>
> Historians know that during the 1700s a stapler machine or fastener was made for the exclusive use of King Louis XV of France. Each staple was handmade and inscribed with the royal court’s insignia. Yet this device was never introduced to the masses.
>
> Staplers - in various shapes and sizes – have been around for approximately 300 years. Yet, the question still remains who should get the credit for them? Some reference books credit an American, Samuel Slocum. In 1841, he patented his invention of sticking pins on paper - a forerunner of the stapler. Other reference materials suggest the first true stapler was the McGill Single Stroke Staple Press, which could load a single staple and drive the staple through two pieces of paper. Patents were issued for this invention in 1866 and 1879.
>
> Better known to many people is the fastener from the Novelty Mfg Co. The company received patents for this product in 1866, with others following in the 1880s and 1890s. Although this fastener loaded one staple at a time, it was recommended for binding books, papers, and pamphlets, as well as for putting down carpets and upholstering furniture.
>
> Charles H. Gould also gets credit for inventing the stapler. In 1868 he invented the wire stitcher for use in binding magazines. Gould’s wire stitcher used uncut wire, which then cut and inserted the wire in the folds of the magazine as well as folding the wire ends over. Gould’s invention is considered the predecessor of the modern stapler.
>
> Nineteenth Century staplers had a typical design regardless of who received a patent for them. The staples, consisting of loose wires, were mounted on cardboard or metal cores and driven forward by a powerful spring. The U-shaped staples, which sometimes jammed, were fed into the machines one at a time.
>
> By the beginning of the 20th Century, different stapling machines were being manufactured in larger quantities. However, all of these early staplers were rear or top loading. In 1905 an American manufacturer, B. Jahn Mfg. Co., developed what would turn out to be the most popular stapler of its time. Twenty-five tin-coated, metal staples were placed in a strip. Nevertheless, it wasn’t easy for a staple operator to put in a staple - - every time a staple was needed, the operator hit the stapler with a mallet.
>
> The actual word “stapler” came into its own in 1909. Before that time, these products were called fasteners or a “Hotchkiss” after the American company that created them.
>
> It wasn’t until 1914, that the stapler gained a presence in American offices. However, companies thought that only one stapler was all that was needed for an office of 500 people! The first office staplers were not easy for office workers to use because they had loose or paper-wrapped staples.
>
> Fortunately in 1923, the Boston Wire Stitcher Co. introduced an easier model. In time, manufacturers also developed another innovation - - staples that were glued in a strip for easy handling.
>
> Then, in the late 1930s, Swingline revolutionized stapling by creating a product in which the stapler would open up on top, and the office worker could drop in a strip of staples. Twenty years later, electric staplers were introduced. Although electric staplers filled the need for faster productivity and accuracy, the basic principle of these earlier staplers remained the same.
>
> As new staplers are invented for 21st century offices, they are making workers’ lives easier and more productive. Today’s staplers have become more powerful, lighter in weight, are easy to use, and are aesthetically pleasing to the eye. Fine-tuned for comfort, staplers have come a long way from their humble beginnings.
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### Author:  [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2004, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-stapler-work/248108/15 "2004-06-01T21:09:14Z")
> [@](#):
>
> Up the Revolution: The Red Stapler! Staple and be heard! WHAM-cubicles! WHAM-dress code! WHAMWHAMWHAM!
Wow. Just – wow.
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### Author:  [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2004, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-stapler-work/248108/16 "2004-06-01T21:14:48Z")
WHAM! WHAM WHAM!
Stapler therapy. Who knew?
Whomever did the website has a fun sense of humor.
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### Author:  [@Kuizelemartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kuizelemartz)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2004, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-stapler-work/248108/17 "2004-06-01T23:17:12Z")
I remember the day just like it was yesterday. In 1986 the company I was working for relocated from Florida to New Hampshire. The dept. mgr. gave me my Swingline to take home.
I love my Swingline.
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### Author:  [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2004, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-stapler-work/248108/18 "2004-06-01T23:36:35Z")
The Swingline I have at the office is something akin to this. Can’t say it’s a winner, but I’ve noted that & the staple issues before.
FTR, I think **Chairman Pow** has claimed to have found the World’s Greatest Staples: Stanley Papercrown staples.
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### Author:  [@Padmaraga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Padmaraga)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2004, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-stapler-work/248108/19 "2004-06-01T23:44:45Z")
I have a Boston that stands up on end, to take up less desk space. It has an ergonomic design. It works pretty well, except when it gets down to the last few staples - then it tends to jam.
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### Author:  [@MikeG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MikeG)
#### Post date: [June 2, 2004, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/does-your-stapler-work/248108/20 "2004-06-02T00:39:09Z")
Swingline? Feh, FEH I say! Nothing has ever surpassed my trusty Ace Cadet made ca. 1940 as pictured [here](http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=25343&item=3818300303&rd=1&ssPageName=WDVW) except mine is that far more attractive tortoiseshell Bakelite.
I have had this stapler for over a decade and it has never once jammed ::knock on wood:: It has been stolen twice by nefarious coworkers and suffice it to say, the tale of their apprehension and the subsequent return of my most trusted office supply would put Herbert “Tha H-Dog” Kornfeld to shame.
Seriously, it works flawlessly, it is the perfect shape for holding in your hand, and it holds a lot of staples for its size. Beware the newer ones, they are far inferior, go with an old used one or none at all.
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