# Dog of a thing to say **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 19, 2001, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dog-of-a-thing-to-say/58561 "2001-03-19T07:00:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![dpr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8797f3/32.png) [@dpr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dpr)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2001, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dog-of-a-thing-to-say/58561/1 "2001-03-19T07:00:07Z")
In the interests of fairness (following [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=64049))… What is a Dog? 1. Dogs spend all day sprawled on the most comfortable piece of furniture in the house. 2. They can hear a package of food opening half a block away, but don’t hear you when you’re in the same room. 3. They can look dumb and lovable all at the same time. 4. They growl when they are not happy. 5. When you want to play, they want to play. 6. When you want to be alone, they want to play. 7. They leave their toys everywhere. 8. They do disgusting things with their mouths and then try to give you a kiss. 9. They go right for your crotch as soon as they meet you. CONCLUSION: They’re tiny men in little fur coats. Hmmmm…not as funny though… ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2001, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dog-of-a-thing-to-say/58561/2 "2001-03-19T07:07:55Z")
I don’t know–I like this one better! ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2001, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dog-of-a-thing-to-say/58561/3 "2001-03-19T13:23:48Z")
Geez, **dpr** , you just described my husband. 😃 [sub]Ya know I love you, honey[/sub] Robin ---
**Author:** ![Earthworm\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f07891/32.png) [@Earthworm\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthworm_Jim)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2001, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dog-of-a-thing-to-say/58561/4 "2001-03-19T13:26:55Z")
What can I say that Homer Simpson hasn’t already said… “It’s funny because it’s true.” ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Creant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Miss\_Creant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Creant)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dog-of-a-thing-to-say/58561/5 "2001-03-20T06:55:33Z")
dpr, I didn’t read the other thread, but I think you’re missing somethings that may invalidate your conclusion DOGS CAN’T TALK BACK also, you don’t have to worry about them putting the seat down they don’t complain when you serve the same meal everday for 8 years. I’ve been married, divorced, engaged again, but I have come to realize that I will never become involved with a man that is not as excited to see me when I get home as my dog is. Or one that makes me smile as much. That being said, thank god for one night stands. ---
**Author:** ![eirroc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f1d935/32.png) [@eirroc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eirroc)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 10:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dog-of-a-thing-to-say/58561/6 "2001-03-20T10:08:15Z")
**dpr** both those threads made me laugh out loud. I will never look at dog, men, cats, women in the same way again. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2001, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dog-of-a-thing-to-say/58561/7 "2001-03-20T16:45:48Z")
1. They pee on the Turkish Carpet when they’re upset. 😃