# Dogbark-to-speech "translator"!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogbark-to-speech-translator/108310>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [May 10, 2002, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogbark-to-speech-translator/108310 "2002-05-10T16:49:44Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 1

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\
**Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogbark-to-speech-translator/108310/1 "2002-05-10T16:49:44Z")

</div>

New gadget from Japan (where else?) matches dogbarks to human-language output:  
[http://news.com.com/2100-1040-908909.html](http://news.com.com/2100-1040-908909.html)

> [@](#):
>
> [Takara Toys] on Thursday unveiled a gadget called Bowlingual, which scrutinizes and translates a dog’s barks into expressions such as “I’ve had enough” or “I’m a little bored, let’s play.”

So… is this thing “really” translating?

I suspect not, partly because of the difference of complexity/level between dog communication and human communication. Isn’t a lot of dog communication accomplished by body (especially tail) gestures?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![LindyHopper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@LindyHopper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LindyHopper)\
**Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogbark-to-speech-translator/108310/2 "2002-05-10T16:56:24Z")

</div>

I just can’t help thinking of the Far Side cartoon where one of the dweeby professor-types invents a dog-to-human translator, and it’s revealed that when they’re barking, dogs are really saying “Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!”

😃

And no, I don’t think this can possibly be working the way they say it is, for precisely the reason you mentioned. Not even all vocalizations are barking; there’s whining, growling, and some other noises that defy description.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\
**Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogbark-to-speech-translator/108310/3 "2002-05-10T16:59:50Z")

</div>

All I want is something that will distinguish for me the difference between “OW! I just bit myself too hard while I was chewing the skin where my balls used to be!” and “There’s a guy with a lawn-mower blade right behind you, Daddy!”

My dog’s barks for those two things is _exactly_ the same, and my neck’s getting really tired from all the quick looks behind me.

🙂

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\
**Post date:** [May 10, 2002, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogbark-to-speech-translator/108310/4 "2002-05-10T17:35:18Z")

</div>

_My dog:_ Woof! [sub](Hey, taller, bipedal, relatively hairless mammal. Feel free to feed me more food at any time here, pal. I mean, I know you are the dominant species and all, but have a heart! And don’t feed me that damn Purina Dog chow crap. Go get me some of that T-bone leftovers you had last night.)[/sub]

_Me:_ Dammit Winston, quit barking! Go lay down!

_My dog:_ _whining_ [sub](Damed Homo Sapiens. I wish I had opposable thumbs. I’d kick your ass if I did. . .)[/sub]

Tripler  
Not that my dog talks to me, or anything. . .