# Dogs shit! In case you were thinking of getting one... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 11, 2015, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-shit-in-case-you-were-thinking-of-getting-one/730643 "2015-09-11T03:38:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2015, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-shit-in-case-you-were-thinking-of-getting-one/730643/41 "2015-09-12T15:16:31Z")
> [@mistymage](#): > > The only time the yard smells bad is during the spring thaw. What a lovely time of year. Brings to mind one spring when I did yard cleanup to take care of the winter-long Labrador poop accumulation, and had a Wagner opera playing on NPR. Tannhäuser and Shit Patrol go together so nicely. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2015, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-shit-in-case-you-were-thinking-of-getting-one/730643/42 "2015-09-12T19:25:46Z")
> [@Ukulele\_Ike](#): > > Nah, usually she’s wearing a bikini and strappy high heels and diamonds, a cool iced vodka in her hand, relaxing on a cushioned _chaise-longue_ in the sun, out by the poo. She turns her head and lowers her ridiculously oversize sunglasses to ogle the poo boy, lightly crinkling her nose at the _odeur_… ---
**Author:** ![Lucas\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucas_jackson/32/303_2.png) [@Lucas\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucas_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [September 12, 2015, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-shit-in-case-you-were-thinking-of-getting-one/730643/43 "2015-09-12T21:51:56Z")
> [@Ukulele\_Ike](#): > > Nah, usually she’s wearing a bikini and strappy high heels and diamonds, a cool iced vodka in her hand, relaxing on a cushioned _chaise-longue_ in the sun, out by the poo. Clap clap clap. ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-shit-in-case-you-were-thinking-of-getting-one/730643/44 "2015-09-13T01:23:56Z")
> [@stillownedbysetters](#): > > [https://poorangers.godaddysites.com/](https://poorangers.godaddysites.com/) > > See? He really IS the poo guy. The poo ranger. lol It brings a tear to my eye when I hear about someone who’s found their purpose in life. > [@gigi](#): > > “I was just loafing around the yard when out of the house comes this hot chick…” No, no, it’s “I was just pinching off a loaf in the yard when out of the house…” ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-shit-in-case-you-were-thinking-of-getting-one/730643/45 "2015-09-13T01:45:56Z")
> [@White SIFL](#): > > Clap clap clap. Hey. She’s been tested for STDs, so not true. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-shit-in-case-you-were-thinking-of-getting-one/730643/46 "2015-09-13T01:47:00Z")
> [@Ukulele\_Ike](#): > > Nah, usually she’s wearing a bikini and strappy high heels and diamonds, a cool iced vodka in her hand, relaxing on a cushioned _chaise-longue_ in the sun, out by the poo. I wonder if there is porn with a dog walker in place of a pizza delivery guy, but I’m afraid to look. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [September 13, 2015, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-shit-in-case-you-were-thinking-of-getting-one/730643/47 "2015-09-13T21:03:09Z")
> [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](#): > > No, no, it’s “I was just pinching off a loaf in the yard when out of the house…” I was going for something a little more subtle, but yeah, subtlety has no place in this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2017, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-shit-in-case-you-were-thinking-of-getting-one/730643/48 "2017-01-15T04:58:16Z")
**mods** : I hope I can de-zombify this thread to address this egregious “no way, dude-ism”… > [@Morgenstern](#): > > My dog can turn one pound of food into 5 pounds of shit. Fortunately he only poops once a day. Holy trippy ratatouille google image page, Batman! ([ratatouille - Google Search](https://www.google.ca/search?q=ratatouille&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjBh5LM3MDRAhUnwVQKHbroCEQQ_AUICCgB&biw=794&bih=550#tbm=isch&q=ratatouille+dish)) (completely irrelevant exclamation/psyche trip) I call fiddlesticks on that. Your dog is capable of doing a five-pound shit? Isn’t five pounds as heavy as…well I can’t think of anything offhand, but really, five pounds of dog shit? Wouldn’t that, like, _hurt_ the dog, excreting such an insane volume? Even a big mastiff - I dunno, I don’t really know my dogs all that well as pertaining to their shit yield in relation to their body size. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2017, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-shit-in-case-you-were-thinking-of-getting-one/730643/49 "2017-01-15T08:51:29Z")
> [@Spud](#): > > Ok… you have made it clear you hate dogs, and also that you have no idea what you are talking about. > > Dogs “kiss” for many reasons, and one of the major ones is showing affection. > > Just Google any of the many thousand videos on-line about dogs being reunited with their owners and tell me that isn’t a blatant display of “love” and “devotion.” Dogs kiss for the same sort of reasons that humans do, that is to say that it’s a biological expediency that has been subverted into a social and affectionate behaviour. Dogs in packs will lick the mouth of those that outrank them to get a notion of what the higher ranking individual has been eating, it has a practical purpose, but it is also a socially submissive act. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2017, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-shit-in-case-you-were-thinking-of-getting-one/730643/50 "2017-01-15T08:59:29Z")
> [@Eddie The Horrible](#): > > **mods** : I hope I can de-zombify this thread to address this egregious “no way, dude-ism”… > I call fiddlesticks on that. > > Your dog is capable of doing a five-pound shit? Isn’t five pounds as heavy as…well I can’t think of anything offhand, but really, five pounds of dog shit? Wouldn’t that, like, _hurt_ the dog, excreting such an insane volume? Even a big mastiff - I dunno, I don’t really know my dogs all that well as pertaining to their shit yield in relation to their body size. I’m pretty sure the poster might have been ever so slightly embellishing the amount of shit, just for storytelling purposes, y’know? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2017, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-shit-in-case-you-were-thinking-of-getting-one/730643/51 "2017-01-15T09:06:53Z")
Anyway, now it’s been resurrected, I’ll add here that our newish doggie won’t shit or even pee terribly frequently in our backyard. I take her for a run down the beach every morning at around 6.30am, and on average she takes TWO shits in the space of an hour…sometimes 3 and has been known to have 4 craps in the sand. In that time, she’ll also pee about 6-8 times…and every time on a heap of seaweed. I make sure to take my ‘crap-baggies’ and at every beach entrance there are ‘shit bins’ for the doggie-owners to dump the ‘dumps’, so to speak. Now THAT’S a job I’d hate…emptying those bins after a couple of hot summer’s days, when they’ve had a chance to brew up a real treat…😃 ---
**Author:** ![Plumpudding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Plumpudding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plumpudding)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2017, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-shit-in-case-you-were-thinking-of-getting-one/730643/52 "2017-01-15T18:36:16Z")
I miss infrequently picking up dog poo. They weren’t my dogs, but I knew them their whole lives. Both were trained to go second in ditches and other places away from where people step. Good thing, because one of them had an awful stomach no matter what he ate. They both died in 2015. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2017, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-shit-in-case-you-were-thinking-of-getting-one/730643/53 "2017-01-15T18:58:21Z")
> [@Plumpudding](#): > > I miss infrequently picking up dog poo. They weren’t my dogs, but I knew them their whole lives. Both were trained to go second in ditches and other places away from where people step. Good thing, because one of them had an awful stomach no matter what he ate. They both died in 2015. Oddly, that’s one of the things I missed when my dog died. It gave me a reason to go outside. I adopted a new dog within days, so I’m out picking up poo again. ---
**Author:** ![Plumpudding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Plumpudding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Plumpudding)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2017, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-shit-in-case-you-were-thinking-of-getting-one/730643/54 "2017-01-15T19:52:15Z")
Good for you:) ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2017, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-shit-in-case-you-were-thinking-of-getting-one/730643/55 "2017-01-16T06:19:49Z")
> [@Eddie The Horrible](#): > > **mods** : I hope I can de-zombify this thread to address this egregious “no way, dude-ism”… > > Holy trippy ratatouille google image page, Batman! > ([Google Search](https://www.google.ca/search?q=ratatouille&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjBh5LM3MDRAhUnwVQKHbroCEQQ_AUICCgB&biw=794&bih=550#tbm=isch&q=ratatouille+dish)) > (completely irrelevant exclamation/psyche trip) > > I call fiddlesticks on that. You’re calling bullshit on the batshit dogshit claim? ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2017, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-shit-in-case-you-were-thinking-of-getting-one/730643/56 "2017-01-16T23:56:37Z")
No shit! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-shit-in-case-you-were-thinking-of-getting-one/730643.md?page=2)