# Dogs With Bees vs. Sharks with Lasers **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 20, 2005, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-with-bees-vs-sharks-with-lasers/322613 "2005-09-20T22:44:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2005, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-with-bees-vs-sharks-with-lasers/322613/1 "2005-09-20T22:44:44Z")
OK, what would worry you more if you were confronted with them: Dogs with bees in their mouths and when they barked they shot bees at you OR Sharks with friggn’ laser beams attached to their heads? Suprisingly I gotta go with the dogs with bees in their mouths, I just don’t see how the sharks would be able to operate the laser beams. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2005, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-with-bees-vs-sharks-with-lasers/322613/2 "2005-09-20T22:48:40Z")
I’d fear the dogs more, too, since I’m on land 100% of the time. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2005, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-with-bees-vs-sharks-with-lasers/322613/3 "2005-09-20T23:39:31Z")
I just want to say: Best. OP. Ever. (or today, whichever). And I’d be more afraid of the Gangster Octopi. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2005, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-with-bees-vs-sharks-with-lasers/322613/4 "2005-09-20T23:57:55Z")
I think the dogs would be much scarier. If they really wanted to get you, they could send a puppy to come up and try to lick your face and then BZZZZZZZZTTTT!.. death. Sharks with laser beams on their head just isn’t that great of an idea. Lasers don’t work so well underwater so they would have to jump out of the water to shoot. How are they going to know what to shoot if they were underwater the whole time? What I would really fear however are seagulls with small rattlesnakes for claws. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-with-bees-vs-sharks-with-lasers/322613/5 "2005-09-21T00:16:47Z")
I depends if we’re talking about sentient dogs and sharks or not. If they are smart enough to plot strategy, I’m going with the sharks as being scarier. Lasers would be easy to aim and lethal. Bees, while persistant, would be easier to foil. Plus, I think that once the shark maimed you, he’d be quick to finish you off with those jaws. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-with-bees-vs-sharks-with-lasers/322613/6 "2005-09-21T00:50:25Z")
> [@Omniscient](#): > > I depends if we’re talking about sentient dogs and sharks or not. All dogs and sharks are sentient, unless they’re dead or really, really drunk. _Sapient_ dogs and sharks are a whole 'nuther deal. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-with-bees-vs-sharks-with-lasers/322613/7 "2005-09-21T01:18:17Z")
Well crap. You knew what I meant. _walks off muttering to himself_ ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-with-bees-vs-sharks-with-lasers/322613/8 "2005-09-21T01:40:48Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > I’d fear the dogs more, too, since I’m on land 100% of the time. I call foul, the question was which is more worrisome if you happened to confront one or the other. ---
**Author:** ![TJdude825](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@TJdude825](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TJdude825)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-with-bees-vs-sharks-with-lasers/322613/9 "2005-09-21T02:29:19Z")
Alright, so assuming that the animals are fully capable of using and aiming their respective weapons, right? I guess I’d be more afraid of the dogs. I don’t know why. ---
**Author:** ![Giant\_Spongess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/94ad74/32.png) [@Giant\_Spongess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giant_Spongess)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-with-bees-vs-sharks-with-lasers/322613/10 "2005-09-21T02:47:11Z")
I think I’d be too busy laughing at the sheer ridiculousness to be afraid. ---
**Author:** ![KeithT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e47774/32.png) [@KeithT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KeithT)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-with-bees-vs-sharks-with-lasers/322613/11 "2005-09-21T02:57:29Z")
Both pale to the robotic Richard Simmons. ---
**Author:** ![Epimetheus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c4cdca/32.png) [@Epimetheus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Epimetheus)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-with-bees-vs-sharks-with-lasers/322613/12 "2005-09-21T02:59:36Z")
Yes, but what about bears with lazer beams that come out their eyes? That would be frickin awesome! ---
**Author:** ![Xixox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/13edae/32.png) [@Xixox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xixox)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-with-bees-vs-sharks-with-lasers/322613/13 "2005-09-21T04:20:42Z")
I would have to fear them both. They’re in kahootz! (however you spell that). See, the dogs catch you on land and start barking up a swarm of bees. Those bees will chase you to the ends of the earth! You’ll have to jump into a lake, river, stream, sea, ocean, or Minnesotan pothole puddle to escape! And just when you think you’re safe… _ZAP_ go the sharks with frikkin’ laser beams. No one is safe. ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-with-bees-vs-sharks-with-lasers/322613/14 "2005-09-21T04:23:16Z")
I think that unless you were allergic to bees, the lasers would be more devastating. This poses additional questions, however. Do the dogs control the bees? Or do the bees just kind of fly out and go “Freedom!” and buzz away on their merry ways? If you were in the water, would the sharks really need laser beams? Are they deadly lasers or just the annoying ones that people bring to movie theatres and circle things with? Because if that’s the case, those lasers are definitely more annoying than a bunch of bees would be. -foxy ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-with-bees-vs-sharks-with-lasers/322613/15 "2005-09-21T11:24:42Z")
Given my location, I’m picking the dogs. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-with-bees-vs-sharks-with-lasers/322613/16 "2005-09-21T11:29:40Z")
If it was wasps instead of bees, it might have been a closer call, but sharks with lasers wins it; _meerkats_ or kittens with lasers would be worse than sharks though, I think. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-with-bees-vs-sharks-with-lasers/322613/17 "2005-09-21T11:51:25Z")
If I am in water, will the dog with bees be able to swim up to me still? Cause that alone is going to give me nightmares for _weeks_. After I sink below the water to protect myself, I get shot in the ass by a firggin’ laser beam and then eaten by Jaws. I love this place. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Bird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Little\_Bird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Bird)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-with-bees-vs-sharks-with-lasers/322613/18 "2005-09-21T14:32:07Z")
> [@ladyfoxfyre](#): > > Do the dogs control the bees? Or do the bees just kind of fly out and go “Freedom!” and buzz away on their merry ways? I think it’s pretty clear from the OP that the dogs are spitting bees _at_ you. There seems to be at least a rudimentary guidance system. Of course I must admit the very thought of a million tiny bees crying out Braveheart style in tiny, buzzy little voices is making me silly with the giggles. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-with-bees-vs-sharks-with-lasers/322613/19 "2005-09-21T17:41:52Z")
Bees kill more people in America than any other animal. Plus with a shark, I could deflect the laser with my light saber. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-with-bees-vs-sharks-with-lasers/322613/20 "2005-09-21T17:58:57Z")
Both will be crushed by the aerial might of a Tyrannosaurus Rex in a F15. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-with-bees-vs-sharks-with-lasers/322613.md?page=2)