# Dogs With Bees vs. Sharks with Lasers **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 20, 2005, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-with-bees-vs-sharks-with-lasers/322613 "2005-09-20T22:44:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-with-bees-vs-sharks-with-lasers/322613/21 "2005-09-21T18:23:14Z")
> [@ladyfoxfyre](#): > > Are they deadly lasers or just the annoying ones that people bring to movie theatres and circle things with? They’re friggn’ laser beams. They frig you. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-with-bees-vs-sharks-with-lasers/322613/22 "2005-09-21T18:44:06Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > And I’d be more afraid of the Gangster Octopi. Gangster octopi tremble before the pinchy might of Mobster Lobsters. ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-with-bees-vs-sharks-with-lasers/322613/23 "2005-09-21T21:18:36Z")
Won’t someone, please, think of the sea bass?!? Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-with-bees-vs-sharks-with-lasers/322613/24 "2005-09-21T22:27:11Z")
Right now, in my garage, I have twenty pigs. These are big pigs. Hogs, really. Five hundred to a thousand pounds apiece. With tusks. These pigs are angry. I have trained them to be angry. I don’t feed them properly. The garage is not air conditioned. Sanitation facilities are inadequate. There are no female pigs. Every night before I go to bed I open the door to the garage and throw tennis balls at them to whip them into a frenzy. Then I fall asleep to the sound of them fighting each other. Each one of these pigs is a TIMEBOMB. In my attic I have twenty flamethrowers. When the dogs and the sharks come for me, I will strap the flamethrowers to the pigs. And I will open the garage door. It will be … sublime. ---
**Author:** ![flamingbananas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f4b2a3/32.png) [@flamingbananas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flamingbananas)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2005, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-with-bees-vs-sharks-with-lasers/322613/25 "2005-09-21T22:33:58Z")
> [@Zebra](#): > > Plus with a shark, I could deflect the laser with my light saber. Do light sabers work underwater? I’d have to say the dogs with bees are scarier, I mean any way you strap on the laser to the shark it would look dorky. Maybe it would be a self concious shark. ---
**Author:** ![KeithT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e47774/32.png) [@KeithT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KeithT)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-with-bees-vs-sharks-with-lasers/322613/26 "2005-09-22T15:44:36Z")
[Hamsters with knives.](http://www.livejournal.com/users/jwz/543178.html) ---
**Author:** ![liberty3701](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@liberty3701](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/liberty3701)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-with-bees-vs-sharks-with-lasers/322613/27 "2005-09-22T16:11:21Z")
Hmmm … well, sharks are inherently scarier than dogs, in my opinion. Thus, there is something so much more sinister about puppy dogs with bees … especially if they’re killer bees. I think I over-thought that. Rabbits with sharp, pointy teeth, on the other hand… ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-with-bees-vs-sharks-with-lasers/322613/28 "2005-09-22T16:15:27Z")
**flamingbananas** , lightsabers [do indeed](http://www.starwars.com/databank/character/kitfisto/?id=eu) work underwater. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2005, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-with-bees-vs-sharks-with-lasers/322613/29 "2005-09-22T17:49:54Z")
I’d say the dogs, because you can’t _reason_ with a dog. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![BoringDad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ad7895/32.png) [@BoringDad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoringDad)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2005, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-with-bees-vs-sharks-with-lasers/322613/30 "2005-09-23T02:21:30Z")
> [@Mr. Blue Sky](#): > > I’d fear the dogs more, too, since I’m on land 100% of the time. > [@Gangster Octopus](#): > > I call foul, the question was which is more worrisome if you happened to confront one or the other. Well then it is an easy question. Since I also am on land 100% of the time, when I confronted the shark I would just laugh at and taunt it as it flopped around dying on the street! Plus, lasers are not scary because they are silent. Bees make that scary buzzing noise. You hear “Bark Bark BUZZ!!!” and you know someone’s gonna be in a world of hurt. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dogs-with-bees-vs-sharks-with-lasers/322613.md?page=1)