# Dolphins are evil (long and pointless) **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 26, 2006, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dolphins-are-evil-long-and-pointless/378008 "2006-10-26T18:18:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![brewha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@brewha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brewha)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2006, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dolphins-are-evil-long-and-pointless/378008/41 "2006-10-27T17:29:53Z")
While it seems futile to try to further defend myself in this thread, I’ll try. I only saw them jumping out of the water when they were approaching from behind the boat. They were quite far away and they did not seem that big. When they came up along side the boat, I only saw their dorsal fins and blowholes emerge from the water. I couldn’t really tell the scale. It wasn’t until I was in the water and first one jumped all the way out of the water right in front of me that I fully understood how big these guys were. **astro** , after seeing the wiki article on the false killer whales, I’m quite certain that that is what I saw. I remeber that they did not have the long slender snouts of the bottlenose. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2006, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dolphins-are-evil-long-and-pointless/378008/42 "2006-10-27T17:48:13Z")
[QUOTE=brewha] Like **WhatExit** , those are a member of the dolphin family. [/QUOTE] Huh…funny, I’ve spent time with **What Exit** , and didn’t find him at all dolphin-like… ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2006, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dolphins-are-evil-long-and-pointless/378008/43 "2006-10-27T18:00:39Z")
[QUOTE=D\_Odds] I was looking for a cite for the prehensile bit when I joked about this yesterday, but it seems as if that is an urban legend. [/QUOTE] Maybe not. [http://www.fathomspub.com/cgi/articlesFullView.pl/41/index.html](http://www.fathomspub.com/cgi/articlesFullView.pl/41/index.html) > [@](#): > > In Great Britain, at least two “friendly” lone male bottlenose dolphins have become serious problems due to frequent attempts to have sex with humans. Bottlenose dolphins grow much larger in the cold water there than they do in the tropics, reaching lengths of 12 feet or more. Both of these dolphins have been photographed using an erect penis like a prehensile organ to drag divers around. In one case, I was called upon to submit an affidavit as an expert witness declaring that such behavior was actually fairly typical of bottlenose dolphins and did not constitute proof that the defendant (who had been charged with bestiality) had been encouraging the dolphin. ---
**Author:** ![brewha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@brewha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brewha)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2006, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dolphins-are-evil-long-and-pointless/378008/44 "2006-10-27T18:05:38Z")
[QUOTE=Hal Briston] Huh…funny, I’ve spent time with **What Exit** , and didn’t find him at all dolphin-like… [/QUOTE] You would think I’d be paying more attention. I don’t know **What Exit** , so I can’t attest to his dolphiness, but I meant to say " Like what **What Exit** said…". :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Grossbottom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ba8739/32.png) [@Grossbottom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grossbottom)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2006, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dolphins-are-evil-long-and-pointless/378008/45 "2006-10-27T18:13:20Z")
Hey man, if you got to see a false killer in the open ocean, I’m envious. I’ve been told they’re just as dopey and friendly as bottlenoses, but they’re too big for me to feel comfortable testing the theory. (He might have seen a big bottle, but if it didn’t have a beak it was a either a pilot whale, a false killer or a very confused, giant porpoise.) ---
**Author:** ![tashabot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tashabot/32/6250_2.png) [@tashabot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tashabot)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2006, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dolphins-are-evil-long-and-pointless/378008/46 "2006-10-27T18:13:32Z")
Eeeee. This thread creeped me out. Dolphins creep me out. Evil little things. Well, not evil. Just deceptive, much like butterflies. Dolphins look all cute and happy, and then they open their mouths and you see all those TEETH. Butterflies look pretty, until you get all close and find out that they’re really ugly black grasshoppers with pretty wings. Also, I have a morbid fear of orcas, which are dolphins, soo… I’m glad you escaped your fate to post about it. 🙂 ~Tasha ---
**Author:** ![Lightray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightray/32/391_2.png) [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2006, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dolphins-are-evil-long-and-pointless/378008/47 "2006-10-27T19:42:18Z")
[QUOTE=D\_Odds] I was looking for a cite for the prehensile bit when I joked about this yesterday, but it seems as if that is an urban legend. [/QUOTE] Stoner Ocean-Biology Guy, who worked for the “swim with the dolphins” folks went on for quite some time about the prehensile dolphin penes, and – once Flipper showed it off – about all the other prehensile penes out there. Most whales, elephants, and other large critters with penes need 'em prehensile, so they can find their way in to where they need to go. Still not as strange as the bifurcated hemipenes that snakes have. I’m at work, so no cite because there’s no way I’m typing “prehensile penis” into Google here. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2006, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dolphins-are-evil-long-and-pointless/378008/48 "2006-10-27T20:27:03Z")
[QUOTE=Lightray] I’m at work, so no cite because there’s no way I’m typing “prehensile penis” into Google here. [/QUOTE] That was my problem, too, when looking for a cite. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2006, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dolphins-are-evil-long-and-pointless/378008/49 "2006-10-27T20:46:28Z")
[QUOTE=brewha] A huge breast exploded from the water a mere few feet from where I bobbed helplessly. [/QUOTE] Yes, like everyone else, that line gave me a chuckle. But … [QUOTE=brewha] It came out of the water with its mouth gaped and I could see what seemed like hundreds of sharp teeth that were designed to rip flesh apart. [/QUOTE] … gave me nightmares. I may never look a nude woman the same ever again. ---
**Author:** ![Sharky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@Sharky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sharky)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2006, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dolphins-are-evil-long-and-pointless/378008/50 "2006-10-27T23:59:09Z")
[QUOTE=Contrapuntal] Just out of curiousity, how are deep sea fishing, crabbing, shrimping, spearfishing, et.al. not interacting with wild animals? I realize dolphins are protected, but you can sure as hell interact with wild animals in Florida. There are entire industries devoted to it; or at least there were when I lived there 30 years ago. Have all the seafood restaurants closed? [/QUOTE] This issue has absolutely nothing to do with the seafood industry or sport fishing. And it has absolutely nothing to do with the (strictly regulated) wildlife interaction industry. It is regarding the interaction of the general public with wild dolphins in their natural habitat. From the [link](http://www.publicaffairs.noaa.gov/pr95/aug95/noaa95-r142.html) I posted above: > [@NOAA](#): > > Florida boaters who encourage the impressive antics of wild dolphins by feeding or swimming with the animals harm the dolphins and themselves – and may be fined for breaking the law, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration announced today. > According to reports received by NOAA’s National Marine Fisheries Service, recreational boaters and swimmers have been injured when illegally feeding or swimming with wild dolphins off Florida. People have been sent to the hospital for stitches or medical attention due to severe bites and body strikes during interactions. > “Dolphins have a reputation for being friendly to humans, but the fact remains they are powerful, wild animals that can be very aggressive,” said Nancy Foster, deputy director of NOAA’s National Marine Fisheries Service. “Feeding and swimming with dolphins may appear to be fun for humans, but can be very harmful to both the dolphins and the people.” > Although commercial dolphin-feeding cruises were effectively stopped in October 1993 following a federal court ruling, NMFS officials are concerned about recreational boaters and others who continue to feed and swim with dolphins. NMFS officials are particularly concerned about a recent increase in feeding activities in Ft. Walton Beach, Denton, Panama City, Sarasota and Key West. The fisheries service and local authorities have stepped up enforcement in those areas and will soon post federal “no-feeding” signs and issue fines to people caught feeding or swimming with the animals. > > Foster said that feeding these marine mammals can make them less able – or willing – to search for food on their own. In addition, she said, food, if it’s non-natural or contaminated, can pose a serious health risk and even death to the dolphins. > NMFS officials have reports of people seen feeding dolphins beer, hot dogs and candy bars – items Foster called “totally inappropriate and harmful.” > Even more threatening, said Foster, is the danger that feeding or swimming with the dolphins will cause them to become habituated to humans and make them lose their natural wariness as wild animals. > “Dolphins that become desensitized toward humans are highly at risk of getting entangled in commercial fishing nets, hit by boat propellers, exposed to polluted water, or being intentionally harassed by people,” Foster said. > Recently, a dolphin that may have been begging for food from humans jumped into a boat and was killed by the impact. Feeding wild dolphins has become an increasing and on-going problem since the late 1980’s in many southeast coastal areas, including Florida, Texas and the Carolinas. > Dolphins fed by people are also in danger of being perceived as “nuisance” animals. Increasingly, recreational and commercial fishermen in Florida have complained that dolphins have learned to take fish off their lines. The fishermen are unable to catch the fish they want and the dolphins run the risk of ingesting baited hooks. Dolphins that have stranded dead have been found with hooks and fishing line in their stomachs. > Scientists and conservationists are concerned that in the future, there will be public outcry to remove – or even kill – dolphins considered to be a nuisance. In the 1970’s there was a similar problem in Yellowstone National Park with the public feeding wild bears. > A report by the Australian government and American scientists was published in 1994 on the famous Monkey Mia resort in Western Australia where the public is legally allowed to give handouts to certain dolphins. Researchers found the offspring of dolphins that take handouts are less likely to survive than the offspring of dolphins that do not interact with people. These studies show that more than 70 percent of the infant dolphins born to mothers that take fish from people have died. > NMFS law enforcement officers have been working with the Florida Marine Patrol and the U.S. Coast Guard to educate recreational boaters and others who may be unaware of the fact that feeding and swimming-with wild dolphins is both harmful and illegal. > “Most people know that feeding or swimming with wild dolphins is illegal but they don’t seem to understand or want to believe that it’s harmful to the animals and can also be harmful to humans. People need to respect these animals and let them be wild,” said Special Agent Bob Spraitz of the NMFS Enforcement office in St. Petersburg, Fla. “We have numerous reports on file of dolphins acting aggressively towards people.” > In December 1994, a dolphin off the coast of Brazil seriously injured a man who witnesses say was harassing the dolphin. The man subsequently died from those injuries. > On Oct. 29, 1993, NOAA won a court case that reinstated a federal regulation prohibiting dolphin-feeding activities in U.S. waters. Violation of this regulation carries stiff civil and criminal penalties with fines ranging between $10,000-$20,000. In 1994, NMFS submitted to Congress a comprehensive report documenting the history and problems of feeding wild dolphins. > Dolphins and other marine mammals such as whales, seals and sea lions have been protected since 1972 by the Marine Mammal Protection Act. Feeding and swimming with any wild marine mammal is considered to be a “take” and “harassment” under the MMPA and is prohibited by law. I almost didn’t respond to your query because I don’t want to be accused of beating a dead horse. I am now fully aware that the OP was relating an incident that occurred many years ago when he was a teenager and didn’t know any better. My beef with the OP has been resolved, and this post is in no way directed towards him. ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2006, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dolphins-are-evil-long-and-pointless/378008/51 "2006-10-28T01:57:32Z")
My parents are marine biologists, so I’ve had a life full of understanding what goes on down beneath the sea. To tell the truth, I get quite scared of swimming in open ocean (Dad specialized in sharks,plenty of gory slides, so, yikes!) Still, can take it in a statistical sense, much more likely to have a nasty car crash… But, **Brewha** , that was really an ignorant thing to do; as you’ve now said, you had misidentified the species. Just Not Knowing. What I have to disagree with is calling any wild creature"Evil". They are going by what they have as their course in life, filling their role by what has proven to work for survival for thousands of years. With sharks, again, my Dad researched them, and I saw some scary examples of their efficiency, but cannot classify them as Evil. They perform their natural function, and are quite efficient at it. It’s tragic and horrid when humans are victims/food , but that is the course of life on this planet. It’s not “Pure evil”, but adapting survival, and humans fit into that humbly in the larger scope of life. If we want to explore the evil of nature in regard to humans, well, that’d be a long tale, from virus to killer whales. So, anything changed in your regard to those evil beings in your OP? ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2006, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dolphins-are-evil-long-and-pointless/378008/52 "2006-10-28T06:54:30Z")
Wow…and I thought the guy on the youtube video using his butt as a bottle rocket launcher was dumb! 😛 To be fair though, when I am at the zoo and I see the tigers and lions in their environments my first thought is, “Kitties!” and I want to pet them really badly. I understand that is the equivalent of death, so I don’t pet them, but I really really want to. If I had been in your situation I would have probably thought, “Dolphins! Eeee!” and thought about jumping in with them myself. Again, I wouldn’t have done it for fear of the killing that would ensue, but I would have really wanted to jump in with them. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2006, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dolphins-are-evil-long-and-pointless/378008/53 "2006-10-28T11:49:13Z")
[QUOTE=Sharky] This issue has absolutely nothing to do with the seafood industry or sport fishing. And it has absolutely nothing to do with the (strictly regulated) wildlife interaction industry. It is regarding the interaction of the general public with wild dolphins in their natural habitat. [/QUOTE] I will re-post my question, with the significant portions bolded, which you seem to have missed. [QUOTE=Me] Just out of curiousity, how are deep sea fishing, crabbing, shrimping, spearfishing, et.al. not\*\* interacting with wild animals\*\*? **I realize dolphins are protected,** but you can sure as hell interact with wild animals in Florida. There are entire industries devoted to it; or at least there were when I lived there 30 years ago. Have all the seafood restaurants closed? [/QUOTE] My question was why you would equate dolpins with wild animals. It isn’t illegal to interact with wild animals in Florida, as you suggest, only dolphins, at least as far your cite shows. It is in fact perfectly OK to interact with wild animals in Florida, just not all wild animals. ---
**Author:** ![Sharky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@Sharky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sharky)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2006, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dolphins-are-evil-long-and-pointless/378008/54 "2006-10-29T19:55:59Z")
[QUOTE=Contrapuntal] I will re-post my question, with the significant portions bolded, which you seem to have missed. My question was why you would equate dolpins with wild animals. It isn’t illegal to interact with wild animals in Florida, as you suggest, only dolphins, at least as far your cite shows. It is in fact perfectly OK to interact with wild animals in Florida, just not all wild animals. [/QUOTE] I agree, it is not illegal to interact with wild animals in Florida. You are absolutely correct. When I said that some people think it’s OK to interact with wild _animals_, I should have said wild _dolphins_. My mistake, and I think that it is the basis of our misunderstanding. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2006, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dolphins-are-evil-long-and-pointless/378008/55 "2006-10-30T18:18:46Z")
[QUOTE=Guinastasia] Huh. I believe you, I just wondered how they managed that photo op then. [/QUOTE] When I went to one of the zoos in Australia that lets visitors cuddle a koala, they said that the koalas you could do that with were ones that had been raised by humans. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dolphins-are-evil-long-and-pointless/378008.md?page=2)