# Dolphins of Mass Destruction **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 27, 2005, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dolphins-of-mass-destruction/323692 "2005-09-27T16:30:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![MagicEyes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@MagicEyes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MagicEyes)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dolphins-of-mass-destruction/323692/1 "2005-09-27T16:30:34Z")
[An army of armed killer dolphins](http://observer.guardian.co.uk/international/story/0,6903,1577753,00.html) may be roaming free in the Gulf of Mexico. This is worse than Jaws! When will they ever learn, you just can’t trust the dolphins. I wonder if Lisa Simpson had something to do with letting them out. > [@Chief Wiggum](#): > > Hmm. Bottlenose bruises. Blowhole burns. Flipper prints. > This looks like the work of rowdy teens. Lou, cancel the prom. ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dolphins-of-mass-destruction/323692/2 "2005-09-27T16:56:37Z")
Dolphins with freakin’ toxic dart guns on their heads! But really, if such a thing were true, hopefully the guns would be unloaded, as any other way would be stupid. I mean, feeding time would be like this: Scientist 1: Bob, have you finished feeding the dolphins yet? Scientists 2: “_Ow_ No, I just have to _ow_ get some more fish from storage _ow_. Whoes idea was it to surgically attach the _ow_ blowguns _ow_, and always keep them loaded? _Owwww—_” _thud_ Scientist 1: “Bob! Bob, speak to me, Bob!” ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dolphins-of-mass-destruction/323692/3 "2005-09-27T16:59:17Z")
I know I’m gonig to hell for this, but I find it really, really funny. ---
**Author:** ![Sweetums](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Sweetums](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sweetums)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dolphins-of-mass-destruction/323692/4 "2005-09-27T18:58:47Z")
This can’t be true. After all, if they were going to arm dolphins, would they use wimpy little dart guns? ``` Heck no! Lasers, SPEAR guns, torpedos! Haven't these people ever read a comic book! ``` ---
**Author:** ![Draelin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@Draelin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Draelin)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dolphins-of-mass-destruction/323692/5 "2005-09-27T19:04:56Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > I know I’m gonig to hell for this, but I find it really, really funny. Save me a seat, I’ll be down momentarily. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![5que](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/3bc359/32.png) [@5que](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5que)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2005, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dolphins-of-mass-destruction/323692/6 "2005-09-27T19:06:47Z")
Countdown had fun with this last night – several clips of Dr. Evil and his “sharks, with friggin’ lasers” desire. ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dolphins-of-mass-destruction/323692/7 "2005-09-28T00:00:42Z")
countdown was very funny with this. although i am still finding the name of the person in charge of the dolphins of gulfport amusing. dr. moby is in charge of the dolphins. i’m a bit surprized mr obermann didn’t mention it. i guess the armed and dangerous dolphins distracted him. i still mentally snicker whenever they show the evacuated dolphins or the rescued ones and interview dr. moby. if ever a man’s name and occupation go together. ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dolphins-of-mass-destruction/323692/8 "2005-09-28T00:58:05Z")
So long and thanks for all the fish… Fuckers!! ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dolphins-of-mass-destruction/323692/9 "2005-09-28T01:27:16Z")
Whats more dangerous, dolphins with dart guns or [penguins with landmines](http://www.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/americas/09/27/falklands.penguins.reut/index.html) ? ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dolphins-of-mass-destruction/323692/10 "2005-09-28T04:11:57Z")
[Snopes sez…probably not.](http://www.snopes.com/katrina/rumor/dolphins.asp) ---
**Author:** ![5que](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/3bc359/32.png) [@5que](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5que)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2005, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dolphins-of-mass-destruction/323692/11 "2005-09-28T13:48:25Z")
> [@Geobabe](#): > > [Snopes sez…probably not.](http://www.snopes.com/katrina/rumor/dolphins.asp) That’s just what the government wants you to think, Citizen.