# Domestic violence is both funny and sexy !! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 15, 2009, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence-is-both-funny-and-sexy/481464 "2009-01-15T18:16:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![peekercpa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8baadc/32.png) [@peekercpa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peekercpa)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence-is-both-funny-and-sexy/481464/61 "2009-01-16T03:04:16Z")
Explanation. Apparently **JJM** has what we used to call “His panties in a wad”. This was generally not a complimentary euphemism. Therefore the vote. Suggestion. Lighten the fuck up. Or alternately you could use some sort of instrument to pry them out, taking care not to tear the opening to the anus. I mean you still have to crap or you will just be full of it. Hey, is that what happened? ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence-is-both-funny-and-sexy/481464/62 "2009-01-16T03:15:04Z")
I believe I can top girl on girl flaming hair action [Oz ‘penis fire’ suspect charged](http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7812875.stm) > [@](#): > > An Australian woman has appeared in court in Adelaide charged with murdering her husband by setting fire to his penis. > > “I just wanted to burn his penis so it belongs to me and no one else, I didn’t mean this to happen” ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence-is-both-funny-and-sexy/481464/63 "2009-01-16T04:17:25Z")
> [@peekercpa](#): > > Explanation. > > Apparently **JJM** has what we used to call “His panties in a wad”. This was generally not a complimentary euphemism. Therefore the vote. > > Suggestion. > > Lighten the fuck up. Or alternately you could use some sort of instrument to pry them out, taking care not to tear the opening to the anus. I mean you still have to crap or you will just be full of it. > > Hey, is that what happened? I literally laughed so hard at this I hurt myself. ---
**Author:** ![Mellivora\_capensis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mellivora\_capensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mellivora_capensis)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence-is-both-funny-and-sexy/481464/64 "2009-01-16T09:39:50Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#): > > Somewhere in the American southwest, a coyote falls off a cliff. > Tragic. Nah, that’s not tragic, that’s funny. Tragic would be if the coyote _jumped_ off the cliff. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence-is-both-funny-and-sexy/481464/65 "2009-01-16T13:14:21Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > And I happen to agree somewhat with you about the male/female disconnect with regards to DV. I forget which movie it was that showed the star setting her boyfriends expensive car on fire because she cheated on him. The scene was meant to cause applause with the audience. I just thought, “Felony Criminal Mischief under Domestic Violence.” It was pprobably _Waiting to Exhale_, but if they followed the book, the Angela Basset character was burning her husbands’s possessions (and car), because he had just tod her that he was leaving her for a younger (white) woman. I don’t think she was cheating on him at all. There could have been a movie where the girl was burning her boyfriend’s car down to add insult to injury after cheating on him, but I don’t know what it is. And if a theatre crowd applauded _that_, well, let’s just say I’m glad I’m not watching movies with them. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence-is-both-funny-and-sexy/481464/66 "2009-01-16T13:48:42Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > It was pprobably _Waiting to Exhale_, but if they followed the book, the Angela Basset character was burning her husbands’s possessions (and car), because he had just tod her that he was leaving her for a younger (white) woman. > I don’t think she was cheating on him at all. > > There could have been a movie where the girl was burning her boyfriend’s car down to add insult to injury after cheating on him, but I don’t know what it is. And if a theatre crowd applauded _that_, well, let’s just say I’m glad I’m not watching movies with them. I don’t know why I typed that, some sort of problem between my fingers and brain. What I meant was “because he cheated on her”. I think you got the movie correct. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence-is-both-funny-and-sexy/481464/67 "2009-01-16T13:49:11Z")
> [@mswas](#): > > [Casey Johnson and Courtenay Semel Are ‘Completely In Love’](http://nymag.com/daily/intel/2008/07/casey_johnson_and_courtney_sem.html) > > While Semel is certainly more ‘dykey’ than Casey Johnson they are both adequate for a lesbian catfight with strategic clothes tearing. I hereby rescind my previous comment. I’m also in the mood to make myself a sandwich. ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence-is-both-funny-and-sexy/481464/68 "2009-01-16T17:15:50Z")
> [@Ro0sh](#): > > Thanks guys for this thread, I needed a laugh… > > There were so many amusing lines in here- the Coyote one completely caught me off guard and I laughed. It reminded me of one of the first “dark” jokes I ever heard as a kid: > Why’d the monkey fall out of the tree? > Because it was dead! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A: He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure. > [@](#): > > I laughed at that one, and I had no idea why, but I couldn’t stop laughing at that joke, My God. I fear I’ve killed him. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence-is-both-funny-and-sexy/481464/69 "2009-01-16T17:41:42Z")
> [@Jester](#): > > Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? > > A: He was stapled to the first monkey. Wasn’t there one about a dead baby being stapled to the monkey? Why did Helen Keller’s dog commit suicide? You’d do the same thing if your name was Mfrmsmdmrmsffmsmff. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence-is-both-funny-and-sexy/481464/70 "2009-01-16T18:36:53Z")
> [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](#): > > “I just wanted to burn his penis so it belongs to me and no one else, I didn’t mean this to happen” Worst. Defense. EVER! ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence-is-both-funny-and-sexy/481464/71 "2009-01-16T20:02:32Z")
> [@peekercpa](#): > > Ok. Screw it. I’ve seen enough. **Vote Jimmy Joe Meager**. > > **FOS TDN** for the lesbian facial comment. > > Yeeps. > [@peekercpa](#): > > Explanation. > > Apparently **JJM** has what we used to call “His panties in a wad”. This was generally not a complimentary euphemism. Therefore the vote. > > Suggestion. > > Lighten the fuck up. Or alternately you could use some sort of instrument to pry them out, taking care not to tear the opening to the anus. I mean you still have to crap or you will just be full of it. > > Hey, is that what happened? **pecker,** you’re flippin’ awesome! ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence-is-both-funny-and-sexy/481464/72 "2009-01-16T20:15:52Z")
> [@fachverwirrt](#): > > You shouldn’t burn your SO. That’s what started this whole mess. I’m wondering if the saxophone-heavy light jazz version of Michael Jackson’s _Wanna Be Starting Something_ (with Diana Ross vocals) was playing in the background. ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence-is-both-funny-and-sexy/481464/73 "2009-01-16T21:43:20Z")
> [@storyteller0910](#): > > Nope. Puns are stupid. I actually found the pun amusing myself. > [@Ro0sh](#): > > Thanks guys for this thread, I needed a laugh… > > There were so many amusing lines in here- the Coyote one completely caught me off guard and I laughed. It reminded me of one of the first “dark” jokes I ever heard as a kid: > Why’d the monkey fall out of the tree? > Because it was dead! I came in to add the other two followup jokes, but **Jester** beat me to it. (Note: There was no violence involved in him beating me.) > [@kaylasdad99](#): > > It was pprobably _Waiting to Exhale_, but if they followed the book, the Angela Basset character was burning her husbands’s possessions (and car), because he had just tod her that he was leaving her for a younger (white) woman. > I don’t think she was cheating on him at all. > > There could have been a movie where the girl was burning her boyfriend’s car down to add insult to injury after cheating on him, but I don’t know what it is. And if a theatre crowd applauded _that_, well, let’s just say I’m glad I’m not watching movies with them. I’m reminded of the Carrie Underwood song where she trashes her ex-boyfriend’s SUV for cheating on her. The first time I heard that song, my thought was not pity for her in that she was cheated on, but relief for the guy that he got out of a relationship with a woman that clearly had anger-management issues. I mean, he probably cheated because she drove him away. Not that it excuses the cheating, he should have been honest and done the decent thing and just dumped her. But really? Causing property damage because someone was a jerk to you? Whatever happened to calling up a friend, baring your soul to them and then getting rip-roaring drunk or any other appropriate and mostly harmless stress-relieving recreational activity? And the song was a hit! Did anyone ever actually _listen_ to the lyrics? ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence-is-both-funny-and-sexy/481464/74 "2009-01-16T21:54:14Z")
> [@Hoopy\_Frood](#): > > I’m reminded of the Carrie Underwood song where she trashes her ex-boyfriend’s SUV for cheating on her. The first time I heard that song, my thought was not pity for her in that she was cheated on, but relief for the guy that he got out of a relationship with a woman that clearly had anger-management issues. I mean, he probably cheated because she drove him away. Not that it excuses the cheating, he should have been honest and done the decent thing and just dumped her. But really? Causing property damage because someone was a jerk to you? Whatever happened to calling up a friend, baring your soul to them and then getting rip-roaring drunk or any other appropriate and mostly harmless stress-relieving recreational activity? And the song was a hit! Did anyone ever actually _listen_ to the lyrics? I don’t know that one. But not long ago, I heard a song sung by a woman about much the same thing. The lyrics were something like “Aren’t you sorry now that you don’t have me to push around/I hope you’ll be sad forever, you loser/I’m the best thing you ever dumped, and I hope you rot in hell.” Sheesh, what a whiny bitch. No wonder he left her. ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence-is-both-funny-and-sexy/481464/75 "2009-01-16T22:26:13Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > I don’t know that one. It won all sorts of awards. I’ve never been a fan of country myself as a general rule, and really don’t like the pop-country hybrid stuff (I have no problems with Johnny Cash and his ilk), but you can find information on the song and a link to the lyrics at songfacts: [Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood - Songfacts](http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=7421) ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence-is-both-funny-and-sexy/481464/76 "2009-01-16T23:56:57Z")
You can’t have manslaughter without laughter. ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence-is-both-funny-and-sexy/481464/77 "2009-01-17T06:00:05Z")
I admit, I’m still chuckling at the Peer Pressure one… Good stuff guys 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence-is-both-funny-and-sexy/481464/78 "2009-01-17T15:05:46Z")
The trouble with gallows humour is it rarely the person with the rope round their neck who is cracking the gags. Saying that, Pierrepoint was supposed to be a roar in the pub. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence-is-both-funny-and-sexy/481464/79 "2009-01-17T16:03:55Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > You can’t have manslaughter without laughter. Swear to me on you grandmother’s grave that you made that up. I am so goofy. I cannot stop laughing at this. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence-is-both-funny-and-sexy/481464/80 "2009-01-17T16:55:28Z")
> [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](#): > > I believe I can top girl on girl flaming hair action > > [Oz ‘penis fire’ suspect charged](http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/7812875.stm) :eek: ::: Rick slaps both hands over his junk, climbs under the desk and whimpers::: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence-is-both-funny-and-sexy/481464.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence-is-both-funny-and-sexy/481464.md?page=5)