# Domestic violence **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 10, 2013, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence/652557 "2013-03-10T17:25:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence/652557/61 "2013-05-20T09:14:00Z")
Hopefully, Madame Neighbor it clever enough to use this opportunity to disappear, leaving no forwarding address, before Monsieur Neighbor gets out of jail. Likewise, you might need to consider moving and leaving no forwarding address, also before Monsieur Neighbor gets out of jail. ---
**Author:** ![StJoan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@StJoan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StJoan)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence/652557/62 "2013-05-20T09:26:04Z")
A bit late to chime in, but nevertheless, thank you for calling the cops. You did the right thing. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 9:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence/652557/63 "2013-05-20T09:48:48Z")
Sheesh, that’s intense. Glad everyone is okay. Sounds like her sister is willing to help and, really, the landlord forcing her out might help her finally accept her sister’s help. I hope the kids bounce back from this. I can’t imagine how the guy would be able to sneak back at this point, so hopefully it will be OK to go back home. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence/652557/64 "2013-05-20T19:05:37Z")
New day and things have calmed down. I really wish he had been there when the cops arrived so they could have caught him with the gun (according to the learned academy of Wiki Answers the penalty for a felon caught with a firearm is 15 fucking years) but I guess after screaming at his family with a gun pointed at them (with only a foot of wall separating his unit and mine) while they begged him to stop he decided it’d be smart to book it. The gun thing sort of provides a new context for everything that’s been going on: He’s probably had this thing the entire time. I don’t know what’s going to happen. I guess if there’s a warrant out on him he’ll be picked up but if he doesn’t have the gun on him would they be able to do anything based on the story the neighbor told them last night (I’m just going to assume the worst: that she won’t be willing to testify against him beyond last night’s talk with the cops)? I don’t think so. The manager told me his felony was for aggravated assault. She told me the neighbor had told her that he didn’t have a key to the apartment gate but that’s pretty fucking meaningless. She’d lied about him being there, she’d lie about him having the key to the gate, which I know they closed the one nearest their front door every night (leaving it open so the kids (who I also learned aren’t even his) could play in the front lawn). I know I’m supposed to have sympathy for this woman but it’s really hard for me to feel anything but anger. I know sleeping in the living room with your two kids at your sister’s place sucks but she’s not just responsible for her own safety alone anymore. She put those kids in the line of fire. ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence/652557/65 "2013-05-20T19:18:44Z")
You may want to consider contacting your local equivalent of Children’s Services (usually part of the welfare department). If there is ongoing domestic violence in the home, they may consider removing the children to foster care…which is no picnic, but usually a safer environment. ---
**Author:** ![HillKat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/838e76/32.png) [@HillKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HillKat)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence/652557/66 "2013-05-20T19:51:19Z")
I’m late to this thread, but want to add my voice to the praise for **AClockworkMelon** for caring and getting involved. I’ve been through years with an alcoholic, verbally abusive man and it’s amazing the harm it does to you. I finally got out when it went from verbal, to throwing things to choking. I knew beating or worse came next. Took my kids and got out. It was not easy, but the best decision I’ve ever made. Alcoholism is a terrible destroyer. Stay the course **ACM** but take care of yourself first and foremost. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2013, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence/652557/67 "2013-05-20T22:30:16Z")
Evidently he returned to the apartment and got picked up. That’s all I know at the moment. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2013, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence/652557/68 "2013-05-21T01:41:05Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Cops and manager just left. The guy is gone. He had been pointing a loaded gun at hers and the kids’ faces. Learned that he’s a felon. Manager’s going to be evicting him, good luck with that. I’m going to my girlfriend’s. > [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Evidently he returned to the apartment and got picked up. That’s all I know at the moment. That all sounds terrible - I feel for her and the kids, too, but for whatever messed-up reasons, she’s choosing to stay with him. I’m more concerned about your safety. I hope he’s out and he stays out. No one needs to live with that (or next to that). ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2013, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence/652557/69 "2013-05-21T04:41:03Z")
It pretty much all rides on whether he had his gun on him when they did arrest him. If so he’s probably going away for a while. But I think that’s too much to hope for. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2013, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence/652557/70 "2013-05-21T05:29:38Z")
What a fucking dumbass. The stupid fuck scratched up his face and went to get an order of protection against _her_. So _he_ showed up with the cops to get _her_ kicked out. She shows them the report that was filed last night and they turn on him and clap him in cuffs. She’s pressing assault charges. Please have a good ending. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2013, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence/652557/71 "2013-05-21T12:39:30Z")
Wow. I’d recommend staying away from the building as long as you can Melon. He’s likely to be out on bail within 48 hours and then free until court, which could be a long time. And he’s obviously completely out of control. As for the Mom, she has some weakness he’s been exploiting, it cold be anything from simple (but extreme) insecurity to a drug addiction. I hope she gets the help she needs to break the cycle. Stay safe. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2013, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence/652557/72 "2013-05-21T13:26:14Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > Wow. I’d recommend staying away from the building as long as you can Melon. He’s likely to be out on bail within 48 hours and then free until court, which could be a long time. I’m already back. Hopefully I’ll be fine. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2013, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence/652557/73 "2013-06-02T16:57:15Z")
Last I saw of her she was here with a guy (not the crazy one) for a few hours a few days ago collecting some of her stuff. She was complaining that he’d (the crazy guy) taken her computer. Other than that I haven’t seen either of them since last posting and I’m just glad I don’t have to deal with it anymore. I hope she stays away from him for good this time. It’s not the happiest of endings but it could have been worse, I guess. Seeing as they’re no longer my neighbors this’ll be the last update. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2013, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence/652557/74 "2013-12-10T00:34:48Z")
5+ felony counts, including a weapons charge. ---
**Author:** ![InappropriateHumor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/eb8c5e/32.png) [@InappropriateHumor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InappropriateHumor)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2013, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence/652557/75 "2013-12-10T02:02:51Z")
Wow, that’s messed up. I’ll add my “Good work” to the rest, AClockworkMelon. With the weapons charge I hope that means you won’t be seeing him, or his lady love, again. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2013, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence/652557/76 "2013-12-10T02:03:14Z")
Resulting from that incident, or is this just what he’s been up to since Summer? Assuming you don’t mean her. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2013, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence/652557/77 "2013-12-10T03:09:06Z")
Please don’t ever stop being who you are. The rest doesn’t matter to me. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2013, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence/652557/78 "2013-12-10T03:22:18Z")
Great to hear, and thanks, **AClockworkMelon** , for sticking up for a person in need. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2013, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence/652557/79 "2013-12-10T04:53:25Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > 5+ felony counts, including a weapons charge. Just out of curiosity, how did you find out this? ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2013, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence/652557/80 "2013-12-10T12:18:04Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > Just out of curiosity, how did you find out this? Told by someone who’s been subpoenaed. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence/652557.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/domestic-violence/652557.md?page=5)