# Don’t give that bitch a ride! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 21, 2006, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/don-t-give-that-bitch-a-ride/385123 "2006-12-21T20:38:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mouse\_Maven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@Mouse\_Maven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mouse_Maven)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2006, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/don-t-give-that-bitch-a-ride/385123/1 "2006-12-21T20:38:03Z")
Mouse\_Spouse has an ex-wife. She’s a sore point between the two of us because Spouse still gives her money. He’s not legally bound to pay alimony and they didn’t have children. He tried to cut her off (at my insistence), but this sloth-ridden tart and her fucking boyfriend kept calling him. They said that she’d be on the street without any sort of help. Spouse is to god damned lazy to change his cell phone number, so I grudgingly agreed that we’d pay some of this leech’s rent. (I want to cut her off completely in February. Spouse will have to decide which he wants more: me or his current phone number.) We’ve been slammed with snow. You know things are serious when they close the malls four days before X-mas 😃 . The Ex has been calling – she’s caught at work. (This hagfish is fucking working and we’re stilling giving her money! WTF?) She wants Spouse to come get her in his four-wheel drive – buses aren’t even running. “I don’t want you to go,” I said. “She needs help!” “Ex only calls when she wants something.” “Yeah, so does your mother.” Spouse retorted. “We don’t give Mother Maven money and I do tell her ‘no’ on a regular basis. Doesn’t Ex have friends or co-workers that can help her?” “Nope, she doesn’t have anyone and she’s bummed that she couldn’t go see her boyfriend.” “Well, that’s her fucking problem. She decided to get involved with someone living in another country. You shouldn’t risk your neck to help an ungrateful bitch.” Fucking hell! I want to call this blood-sucking woman up and tell her to stay out of our life! I love my husband, but he need to learn the difference between being a gentleman and being a chump. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2006, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/don-t-give-that-bitch-a-ride/385123/2 "2006-12-21T20:41:53Z")
> [@](#): > > We’ve been slammed with snow. You know things are serious when they close the malls four days before X-mas. That must be some industrial strength snow you got there. I’ll bet the store managers are pissing their pants. And yeah, Mouse Spouse needs to get a new cell number, and a new set of balls. ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2006, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/don-t-give-that-bitch-a-ride/385123/3 "2006-12-21T20:47:57Z")
Mouse Spouse needs to let go of what once was, and appreciate what he has in the now. ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2006, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/don-t-give-that-bitch-a-ride/385123/4 "2006-12-21T20:52:12Z")
**Mouse** I may be reading too much into this, but your husband has a serious problem that needs to be addressed right away. The choice you should give him isn’t you or his phone number, but you or her. And stick to your guns. ---
**Author:** ![Gukumatz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/74df32/32.png) [@Gukumatz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gukumatz)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2006, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/don-t-give-that-bitch-a-ride/385123/5 "2006-12-21T20:53:45Z")
The makings of another **Betenoir** thread. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Viridiana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/ebca7d/32.png) [@Viridiana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Viridiana)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2006, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/don-t-give-that-bitch-a-ride/385123/6 "2006-12-21T20:55:07Z")
How about you just show him a reasonable facsimile of your original post? ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2006, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/don-t-give-that-bitch-a-ride/385123/7 "2006-12-21T20:57:54Z")
[QUOTE=Sean Factotum] **Mouse** I may be reading too much into this, but your husband has a serious problem that needs to be addressed right away. The choice you should give him isn’t you or his phone number, but you or her. And stick to your guns. [/QUOTE] Seconded. ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2006, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/don-t-give-that-bitch-a-ride/385123/8 "2006-12-21T20:58:47Z")
Piling on… No fucking way that flies in my marriage. Not a chance. Of course, EJ would never do that to me. Sorry, **Mouse\_Maven** , but you’d better put your high heel down. And if you threaten him with something, be prepared to follow through. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2006, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/don-t-give-that-bitch-a-ride/385123/9 "2006-12-21T21:02:27Z")
**Mouse\_Maven** , you knew this when you married him. You have a choice to make…whether to put up with the fact that you are the _second_ wife or not. ---
**Author:** ![Caricci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Caricci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caricci)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2006, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/don-t-give-that-bitch-a-ride/385123/10 "2006-12-21T21:04:00Z")
Another vote for “that’s seriously fucked up”. I hate to say it’s ultimatum time, but it kind of is. ---
**Author:** ![Euthanasiast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Euthanasiast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euthanasiast)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2006, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/don-t-give-that-bitch-a-ride/385123/11 "2006-12-21T21:07:08Z")
I’d tell him to ditch the bitch once and for all, or he can get used to being a chump for _two_ ex-wives. ---
**Author:** ![threemae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f9b8f/32.png) [@threemae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threemae)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2006, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/don-t-give-that-bitch-a-ride/385123/12 "2006-12-21T21:15:36Z")
There’s no way that you guys should be giving her money (no way, no how), but I think that a ride in the snow might be reasonable. I spent 9 hours on an RTD bus yesterday getting home, and in emergencies like this, I really don’t think it’s time to consider all of the petty relationship shit. But once the snow dries off, tell her (or tell your husband to tell her) that she can hit the street over to McDonalds and start working for her next rent payment. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2006, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/don-t-give-that-bitch-a-ride/385123/13 "2006-12-21T21:20:05Z")
[QUOTE=Mouse\_Maven] He tried to cut her off (at my insistence), but this sloth-ridden tart and her fucking boyfriend kept calling him. They said that she’d be on the street without any sort of help. Spouse is to god damned lazy to change his cell phone number, so I grudgingly agreed that we’d pay some of this leech’s rent. (I want to cut her off completely in February. Spouse will have to decide which he wants more: me or his current phone number.) [/QUOTE] Offer to deal with changing his cell phone number for him. If he’s using that as an excuse (as I suspect he might be), that will call his bluff. I’m sure you could do it if you’re both on the same cell phone plan. ---
**Author:** ![Mouse\_Maven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@Mouse\_Maven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mouse_Maven)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2006, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/don-t-give-that-bitch-a-ride/385123/14 "2006-12-21T21:25:18Z")
[QUOTE=threemae] There’s no way that you guys should be giving her money (no way, no how), but I think that a ride in the snow might be reasonable. I spent 9 hours on an RTD bus yesterday getting home, and in emergencies like this, I really don’t think it’s time to consider all of the petty relationship shit. But once the snow dries off, tell her (or tell your husband to tell her) that she can hit the street over to McDonalds and start working for her next rent payment. [/QUOTE] The Ex works out at BlackHawk for one of the hotels. I’d be more understanding if I thought she didn’t have a place to stay. Part of me sympathies with Mouse\_Spouse. I have an ex-husband who really messed with my head. He made me feel very guilty about us breaking up. I finally realized that I wasn’t responsible for ex-husband’s happiness and I haven’t seen him in years. Spouse hasn’t reached this point yet. ---
**Author:** ![ShelliBean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f9ae1b/32.png) [@ShelliBean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShelliBean)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2006, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/don-t-give-that-bitch-a-ride/385123/15 "2006-12-21T21:26:05Z")
Why the hell do you put up with this? ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2006, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/don-t-give-that-bitch-a-ride/385123/16 "2006-12-21T21:27:08Z")
[QUOTE=threemae] There’s no way that you guys should be giving her money (no way, no how), but I think that a ride in the snow might be reasonable. [/QUOTE] I agree – it’s one thing to help someone out in an emergency; it’s quite another to pay their damn rent. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2006, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/don-t-give-that-bitch-a-ride/385123/17 "2006-12-21T21:34:15Z")
[QUOTE=ivylass] **Mouse\_Maven** , you knew this when you married him. You have a choice to make…whether to put up with the fact that you are the _second_ wife or not. [/QUOTE] What the hell does this mean? She’s not the “second wife”, at least not in the splinter-faction LDS sense. She’s _the_ wife, and the ex-wife is the former wife, with the precedence this entails. The asking a ride home in a desperate circumstances strikes me as not being that big deal in isolation; it falls under the category of basic decency and curtesy. In the wider context of begging money, calling regularly for other favors, et cetera, however, it’s over the top. And the boyfriend calling as her proxy? Seriously, whiskey tango foxtrot, who does this? Is the new fella just as much of a chump as the ex-fella, or is he a schemer, too? Methinks the **Spouse Mouse** needs to draw a line in the sand, or better yet, erect a moat, complete with piranhas (or sharks with freakin’ laser beams, if that’s your thing). But don’t take it from me; get it from the mouth of the counsellor both of you are going to go see, pronto, before this gets further out of hand. And if she calls again for a ride, perhaps you should be the one to go out and fetch her, if it has to be done. After a few episodes of your cold shoulder, I’m guessing she’ll chill and go find some other dope to do her bidding. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Faruiza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Faruiza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faruiza)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2006, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/don-t-give-that-bitch-a-ride/385123/18 "2006-12-21T21:35:22Z")
_sputter_ Wha…? How is it that some of you seem like such reasonable and smart people until you tell a story like this? **Mouse** , I really like you, so I mean this in the most serious way possible… Grow a pair. You don’t need any of us to tell you what to do. You know what to do if you want this to stop. There’s only so much a sane person puts up with. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2006, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/don-t-give-that-bitch-a-ride/385123/19 "2006-12-21T21:36:12Z")
[QUOTE=Mouse\_Maven] I finally realized that I wasn’t responsible for ex-husband’s happiness and I haven’t seen him in years. Spouse hasn’t reached this point yet. [/QUOTE] Sweetie, I hate to say it, but you shouldn’t have married him until he was over his ex. I think you need to have a long sitdown with him, no arguing, and help him see how this is hurting _this_ marriage. Offer to go to counseling with him. You guys need to fix this sooner rather than later. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2006, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/don-t-give-that-bitch-a-ride/385123/20 "2006-12-21T21:42:10Z")
[QUOTE=Stranger On A Train] What the hell does this mean? She’s not the “second wife”, at least not in the splinter-faction LDS sense. She’s _the_ wife, and the ex-wife is the former wife, with the precedence this entails. [/QUOTE] Relax. I’m referring to the priority that Mouse Spouse seems to be treating our **Mouse Maven** …second, not first. She is the second wife he’s had, and currently she is not the first in his priority, since he is not respecting her feelings and is prepared to hurt the family finances to help an ex. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/don-t-give-that-bitch-a-ride/385123.md?page=2)