# Donald Trump is Zaphod Beeblebrox! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 2, 2016, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/donald-trump-is-zaphod-beeblebrox/756301 "2016-06-02T12:06:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2016, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/donald-trump-is-zaphod-beeblebrox/756301/1 "2016-06-02T12:06:24Z")
[Work with me](http://www.salon.com/2016/05/31/trump_wants_revenge_his_hunger_to_be_president_is_all_about_gaining_power_to_settle_petty_personal_scores/) on this. “I’ll build a hyperspace bypass, and I’ll make Earth pay for it!” “One of the major difficulties Ivana experienced in her relationship with Donald was learning to distinguish between him pretending to be stupid just to get people off their guard, pretending to be stupid because he couldn’t be bothered to think and wanted someone else to do it for him, pretending to be outrageously stupid to hide the fact that he actually didn’t understand what was going on, and really being genuinely stupid.” ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2016, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/donald-trump-is-zaphod-beeblebrox/756301/2 "2016-06-02T13:07:07Z")
Omigod, you’re frickin’ right! Now he’ll graft another head on his shoulder, and proclaim it his running mate! ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2016, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/donald-trump-is-zaphod-beeblebrox/756301/3 "2016-06-02T13:11:59Z")
That is just brilliant. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2016, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/donald-trump-is-zaphod-beeblebrox/756301/4 "2016-06-02T13:56:50Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > That is just brilliant. “That is really amazing. That really is truly amazing. That is so amazingly amazing I think I’d like to steal it.” - is it Trump, or is it Beeblebrox? ---
**Author:** ![troub](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troub/32/14802_2.png) [@troub](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/troub)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2016, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/donald-trump-is-zaphod-beeblebrox/756301/5 "2016-06-02T14:14:23Z")
"It is said that his birth was marked by earthquakes, tidal waves, tornadoes, firestorms, the explosion of three neighbouring stars, and, shortly afterwards, by the issuing of over six and three quarter million writs for damages from all of the major landowners in his Galactic sector. However, the only person by whom this is said is Trump himself, and there are several possible theories to explain this." ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2016, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/donald-trump-is-zaphod-beeblebrox/756301/6 "2016-06-02T16:29:22Z")
When asked why he is running for president, he responded: > [@](#): > > Well, it’s partly the curiosity, partly a sense of adventure, but mostly I think it’s the fame and the money. ---
**Author:** ![Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slow_moving_vehicle/32/291_2.png) [@Slow\_Moving\_Vehicle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slow_Moving_Vehicle)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2016, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/donald-trump-is-zaphod-beeblebrox/756301/7 "2016-06-02T18:14:36Z")
On the other hand, I can’t imagine anyone describing The Donald as “the best bang since the big one.” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Angel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d26b3c/32.png) [@Johnny\_Angel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Angel)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2016, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/donald-trump-is-zaphod-beeblebrox/756301/8 "2016-06-02T19:25:21Z")
There was a joke going around a few months ago that Donald Trump just wants to steal the Heart of Gold. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2016, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/donald-trump-is-zaphod-beeblebrox/756301/9 "2016-06-02T20:53:37Z")
He is _not_ a hoopy frood, he does _not_ know where his towel is, and he is most definitely _not_ just this guy, see? ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2016, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/donald-trump-is-zaphod-beeblebrox/756301/10 "2016-06-02T21:42:20Z")
> [@Johnny\_Angel](#): > > There was a joke going around a few months ago that Donald Trump just wants to steal the Heart of Gold. If we happen to have a space ship laying around, even an old alien one that doesn’t quite work right, I’d be all for encouraging him to steal it and fly off into space. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2016, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/donald-trump-is-zaphod-beeblebrox/756301/11 "2016-06-02T21:48:22Z")
We’ll be saying a big hello to all intelligent lifeforms everywhere and to Republican primary voters, the secret is to bang the rocks together, guys. ---
**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2016, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/donald-trump-is-zaphod-beeblebrox/756301/12 "2016-06-02T23:31:04Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > He is _not_ a hoopy frood, he does _not_ know where his towel is, and he is most definitely _not_ just this guy, see? Exactly. I came in to post that Beeblebrox is at least 382% hoopier than Trump. ---
**Author:** ![Goofus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7feea3/32.png) [@Goofus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Goofus)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2016, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/donald-trump-is-zaphod-beeblebrox/756301/13 "2016-06-02T23:35:02Z")
I could see Trump also being immune to the Total Perspective Vortex. ---
**Author:** ![Hail\_Ants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/dc4da7/32.png) [@Hail\_Ants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hail_Ants)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2016, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/donald-trump-is-zaphod-beeblebrox/756301/14 "2016-06-02T23:44:55Z")
Look on the bright side, in his first debate with Hillary he may just respond with, _“Talk a lot don’t you…”_ ---
**Author:** ![Why\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b782af/32.png) [@Why\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_Child)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2016, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/donald-trump-is-zaphod-beeblebrox/756301/15 "2016-06-02T23:58:32Z")
“If there’s anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.” Much to his annoyance, a thought popped into his mind. It was very clear and very distinct, and he had now come to recognize these thoughts for what they were. His instinct was to resist them. :eek: :eek: Oh shit, I think you’re right!!! :eek: :smack: ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2016, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/donald-trump-is-zaphod-beeblebrox/756301/16 "2016-06-03T00:53:38Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > He is _not_ a hoopy frood, he does _not_ know where his towel is, and he is most definitely _not_ just this guy, see? Well, he’s got a whole damn lot of towels but, like, they are not \*his \*personal towels. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2016, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/donald-trump-is-zaphod-beeblebrox/756301/17 "2016-06-03T01:00:08Z")
No, _Guy Fleegman_ is Zaphod Beeblebrox. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2016, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/donald-trump-is-zaphod-beeblebrox/756301/18 "2016-06-03T01:14:04Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > Omigod, you’re frickin’ right! Now he’ll graft another head on his shoulder, and proclaim it his running mate! Nah, it’ll be like in the movie, where his head flips back to show you the head underneath. Except instead of his entire head, it’s just his hair. (And before anyone jumps my shit for mentioning the movie, if Trump is any Zaphod Beeblebrox, he’s definitely the worst Zaphod Beeblebrox imaginable, so the movie reference is completely apropos.) ---
**Author:** ![DinoR](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dinor/32/2821_2.png) [@DinoR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DinoR)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2016, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/donald-trump-is-zaphod-beeblebrox/756301/19 "2016-06-03T01:32:58Z")
Anyone know anywhere I can get a good Pan Galactic Gargleblaster on earth? I’ll need some if he wins in November. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2016, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/donald-trump-is-zaphod-beeblebrox/756301/20 "2016-06-03T01:34:10Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Nah, it’ll be like in the movie, where his head flips back to show you the head underneath. You jest, but that may mean we’ll all owe him an apology for that John Miller stuff. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/donald-trump-is-zaphod-beeblebrox/756301.md?page=2)