# Donald Trump's Funeral **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 3, 2018, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/donald-trumps-funeral/820693 "2018-09-03T15:04:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Mumberthax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ea5d25/32.png) [@Mumberthax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mumberthax)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2018, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/donald-trumps-funeral/820693/61 "2018-09-06T14:53:33Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > I am one of a very small minority who believes that should the impeachment net get reeeeeally tight, he will more likely commit suicide than step down. > > No, I don’t want that to happen either. Yeah, I can think of another leader with Trump’s attitude towards racial minorities who did just that. I believe it was in an armored bunker under Berlin, circa 1945. ---
**Author:** ![Tatterdemalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/43a26b/32.png) [@Tatterdemalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tatterdemalion)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2018, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/donald-trumps-funeral/820693/62 "2018-09-06T16:03:03Z")
> [@Mumberthax](#): > > Yeah, I can think of another leader with Trump’s attitude towards racial minorities who did just that. I believe it was in an armored bunker under Berlin, circa 1945. Are you saying that Trump only has one ball? Whistle while you work, The Donald is a jerk. Melaneenie Won’t touch his weenie, Because it doesn’t work. ---
**Author:** ![Mumberthax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ea5d25/32.png) [@Mumberthax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mumberthax)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2018, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/donald-trumps-funeral/820693/63 "2018-09-06T16:34:54Z")
Donald has only one ball Pence has two, but very small. I know the rest goes ‘Himmler is very similar; Göring has no balls at all’, but I can’t really think of a way to tie Trump’s cabinet into that, so I’ll stop there. ---
**Author:** ![Tatterdemalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/43a26b/32.png) [@Tatterdemalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tatterdemalion)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2018, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/donald-trumps-funeral/820693/64 "2018-09-06T16:59:43Z")
How about: Trump has only got one ball Kelly has 2 but very small Sessions are shriveling And Pence has no balls at all ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2018, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/donald-trumps-funeral/820693/65 "2018-09-06T18:47:40Z")
> [@Tatterdemalion](#): > > How about: > > Trump has only got one ball > Kelly has 2 but very small > Sessions are shriveling > And Pence has no balls at all I’d like to see you do more with the word “shriveling.” ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2018, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/donald-trumps-funeral/820693/66 "2018-09-06T20:45:19Z")
> [@Alley\_Dweller](#): > > At least they could have a [Muslim seaman say prayers](https://abcnews.go.com/Technology/uss-carl-vinson-osama-bin-ladens-burial-sea/story?id=13510831) over the body first like they did with bin Laden. I dunno, the last time a we mixed sitting president with semen it didn’t go so well… ---
**Author:** ![Tatterdemalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/43a26b/32.png) [@Tatterdemalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tatterdemalion)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2018, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/donald-trumps-funeral/820693/67 "2018-09-06T20:48:27Z")
> [@ThelmaLou](#): > > I’d like to see you do more with the word “shriveling.” I know, the line doesn’t really scan very well. I’m having a bit of doggerel block though, do you have any suggestions? ---
**Author:** ![Thing\_Fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecb155/32.png) [@Thing\_Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thing_Fish)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2018, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/donald-trumps-funeral/820693/68 "2018-09-06T20:58:25Z")
This seems like a useful precedent to use in planning the festivities: > [@Wikipedia](#): > > The bodies of Mussolini and Petacci were taken to Milan and left in a suburban square, the Piazzale Loreto, for a large angry crowd to insult and physically abuse. They were then hung upside down from a metal girder above a service station on the square. The bodies were beaten, shot at, and hit with hammers. I ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2018, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/donald-trumps-funeral/820693/69 "2018-09-06T22:31:57Z")
> [@Tatterdemalion](#): > > I know, the line doesn’t really scan very well. > > I’m having a bit of doggerel block though, do you have any suggestions? I’ll think about it. (No, I won’t.) But you might try taking your doggerel for a walk and giving it some kibble. I applaud your effort. ---
**Author:** ![Brayne\_Ded](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Brayne\_Ded](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brayne_Ded)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/donald-trumps-funeral/820693/70 "2018-09-07T11:31:06Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > I am one of a very small minority who believes that should the impeachment net get reeeeeally tight, he will more likely commit suicide than step down. Trump? I think not. He’ll bluster to the end, even while he is being fitted for a jumpsuit that matches his hair. ---
**Author:** ![Brayne\_Ded](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Brayne\_Ded](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brayne_Ded)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/donald-trumps-funeral/820693/71 "2018-09-07T11:35:33Z")
> [@Thing\_Fish](#): > > This seems like a useful precedent to use in planning the festivities: Well, Our Donald has got the Benito look off to a T, with the uplifted chin and penchant for noisy verbosity, but I don’t thing he will arouse that much hatred. Obvious question: just why did the Eyetalians do that to their beloved Il Ducebag anyway? It’s not as if his regime killed many of its opponents, unlike Germany. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2018, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/donald-trumps-funeral/820693/72 "2018-09-07T13:50:27Z")
> [@Brayne\_Ded](#): > > Trump? I think not. He’ll bluster to the end, even while he is being fitted for a jumpsuit that matches his hair. [Black bag slips over The Don’s head] "This bag stinks. You know when they hanged Saddam, who was sometimes an unreasonable man but who kept peace in Iraq for centuries, they at least used an Egyptian cotton pillowcase, not this nasty second-rate burlap barf bag that smells like Hillary’s underpa… [Noose slips around The Don’s neck] …Hey watch it there fellah, what is this a hemp rope? So second rate. Typical of crooked Democrats to use a thin, cheap rope. Total losers. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/donald-trumps-funeral/820693.md?page=3)