# Done with my sons **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 30, 2019, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/done-with-my-sons/845609 "2019-12-30T18:26:51Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![Declanium](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5daacb/32.png) [@Declanium](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declanium)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/done-with-my-sons/845609/241 "2020-02-06T13:28:49Z")
Is he still using drugs? ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/done-with-my-sons/845609/242 "2020-02-06T13:34:36Z")
> [@Declanium](#): > > Is he still using drugs? Yes. And he’s also living a well balanced life with his wife and children. And gainfully employed while he works his way through college. ---
**Author:** ![Declanium](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5daacb/32.png) [@Declanium](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declanium)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/done-with-my-sons/845609/243 "2020-02-06T13:39:32Z")
Yeah, see? Not for me. Different strokes. Perhaps you also smoke, so it’s not a big deal for your family. And again, thanks for the additional evidence that if one is smoking at 15, it’s a lifelong choice. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/done-with-my-sons/845609/244 "2020-02-06T13:41:06Z")
> [@Declanium](#): > > It’s painful to sit on sideline to watch your child choose a substance over family. Seeing as you’re the one who wants to end your relationship with your children, it seems as though YOU’RE choosing substance over family. You’re the one with a drug problem. They’re the ones with a mother problem. ---
**Author:** ![Declanium](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5daacb/32.png) [@Declanium](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declanium)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/done-with-my-sons/845609/245 "2020-02-06T13:43:34Z")
Nope. Sorry. They will have their choice. I don’t want to be there to see their kids taken away. Or their DUI’s. Or loss of jobs. Or marriages. Potheads can be annoyingly insufferable. Eventually the drugs will win. And ruin them. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/done-with-my-sons/845609/246 "2020-02-06T13:47:20Z")
> [@Declanium](#): > > Potheads can be annoyingly insufferable. Yes we can, but have you ever looked at DARE literature? Way worse.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/done-with-my-sons/845609/247 "2020-02-06T13:47:50Z")
> [@Declanium](#): > > Yeah, see? Not for me. Different strokes. > Perhaps you also smoke, so it’s not a big deal for your family. > And again, thanks for the additional evidence that if one is smoking at 15, it’s a lifelong choice. As long as he’s living a well balanced happy life, I could care less about his occasional pot use. But yeah, “different strokes” indeed. Unlike you, the thing that matters most to me is my son’s happiness. Not that he adhere to my particular world view. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/done-with-my-sons/845609/248 "2020-02-06T13:55:01Z")
> [@Declanium](#): > > Nope. Sorry. > They will have their choice. > I don’t want to be there to see their kids taken away. > Or their DUI’s. Or loss of jobs. Or marriages. > Potheads can be annoyingly insufferable. > Eventually the drugs will win. And ruin them. Then convince them to stop using drugs. Nag them and pester them and bribe them if you have to, but don’t give up on them. Get MORE involved in their lives, not less. You want them to have a chance in life? Let them know that their parents loves them and will continue to love them no matter what. ---
**Author:** ![Declanium](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5daacb/32.png) [@Declanium](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declanium)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/done-with-my-sons/845609/249 "2020-02-06T13:57:34Z")
I’m concerned for their health and their futures. It’s either me or the drugs. Looks like they’ve chosen. ---
**Author:** ![Ulfreida](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulfreida/32/8014_2.png) [@Ulfreida](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulfreida)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/done-with-my-sons/845609/250 "2020-02-06T13:58:09Z")
> [@Declanium](#): > > I’m concerned for their health and their futures. > It’s either me or the drugs. > Looks like they’ve chosen. No, YOU chose. ---
**Author:** ![Declanium](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5daacb/32.png) [@Declanium](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declanium)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/done-with-my-sons/845609/251 "2020-02-06T14:02:35Z")
Not doing drugs on my end. Uh, they chose drugs over family. Very common in addiction ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/done-with-my-sons/845609/252 "2020-02-06T14:05:04Z")
That’s it? You’re not going to fight for the people you love? ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/done-with-my-sons/845609/253 "2020-02-06T14:07:44Z")
> [@Declanium](#): > > I’m concerned for their health and their futures. > It’s either me or the drugs. > Looks like they’ve chosen. Yeah, ultimatums such as these usually don’t work out well for the one making the ultimatum. ---
**Author:** ![Declanium](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5daacb/32.png) [@Declanium](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declanium)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/done-with-my-sons/845609/254 "2020-02-06T14:11:03Z")
Exactly. They have chosen. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/done-with-my-sons/845609/255 "2020-02-06T14:14:27Z")
> [@Declanium](#): > > Exactly. They have chosen. Why don’t you just kick them out now? They deserve to live on the streets. That will teach them a lesson. I don’t think you ever loved them unconditionally. You only loved them if they were perfect children. It’s best to cut your losses now. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/done-with-my-sons/845609/256 "2020-02-06T14:15:57Z")
And you haven’t made any choices? ---
**Author:** ![Declanium](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5daacb/32.png) [@Declanium](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declanium)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/done-with-my-sons/845609/257 "2020-02-06T14:20:53Z")
You will see. Legalizing marijuana will make it easier to study. Google American Lung Association and weed. Read. Aggressive lung cancer Testicular cancer (especially in younger males) Oral cancer, head and neck cancer. Google heart damage and weed. Arrhythmia. Damage to blood vessels. So I should sit back, enjoy Thanksgiving with my sons, while they keep disappearing to garage to smoke that crap? Now THAT will be a miserable holiday. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/done-with-my-sons/845609/258 "2020-02-06T14:24:29Z")
> [@Declanium](#): > > You will see. Legalizing marijuana will make it easier to study. > Google American Lung Association and weed. > Read. > Aggressive lung cancer > Testicular cancer (especially in younger males) > Oral cancer, head and neck cancer. > Google heart damage and weed. > Arrhythmia. Damage to blood vessels. > So I should sit back, enjoy Thanksgiving with my sons, while they keep disappearing to garage to smoke that crap? > Now THAT will be a miserable holiday. Do you actually care about what happens to them, or do you just want to be right? ---
**Author:** ![Declanium](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5daacb/32.png) [@Declanium](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Declanium)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/done-with-my-sons/845609/259 "2020-02-06T14:28:33Z")
They have chosen to use drugs. I can’t control their decisions. As therapist said, these are the natural consequences of drugs. Health, alienation from family can all result from poor decisions on their parts. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2020, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/done-with-my-sons/845609/260 "2020-02-06T14:29:43Z")
> [@Declanium](#): > > You’re comparing pulling toxic smoke into your lungs to a small glass of wine with dinner once a week? > Come on. Smoking anything is not good for your lungs. Then you’d have no problem with your sons using edible cannabis? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/done-with-my-sons/845609.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/done-with-my-sons/845609.md?page=14)