# Don't assume I wanna murder a lobster **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 28, 2003, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137 "2003-05-28T23:09:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/21 "2003-05-29T13:13:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NameAlreadyTaken \* > \*\*As a minor hijack, persons from Maine used to be known as Downeasters (aka “a Down East man…”). Not sure what the origin is beyond that it’s an old sailing term. \*\* Confusion, evidently. Maine’s down and east of nowhere. Except Canada, but no one cares about Canada, right? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/22 "2003-05-29T13:35:55Z")
I will kill lobsters. For a price. (Price= One dead lobster lightly boiled, with a cup of hot drawn butter…_drooooool_) ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/23 "2003-05-29T13:47:11Z")
I sent my brother’s family a box of Maine lobsters for Christmas. They had quite a time figuring out who would kill the tasty little buggers. A week later my brother called and asked “We have some leftover lobster meat – how long will it keep?” Sorry, I can’t answer that with any knowledge drawn from long years of experience. “Leftover lobster meat” is a phrase that doesn’t occur on a daily basis for me. ---
**Author:** ![Ceejaytee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ceejaytee/32/2956_2.png) [@Ceejaytee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ceejaytee)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/24 "2003-05-29T13:47:43Z")
We call our Maine relatives “Mainiacs.” But not to their faces. Well, at least not often. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/25 "2003-05-29T13:58:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gotpasswords \* > If you really want them to go gently, pop them in the freezer for a few minutes pre-boiling. They’ll essentially go unconscious in the cold, then you can pop them into the hot water. By the time they warm up, they’re cooked. Knife between the eyes, if aimed properly (ie, no squirming and only stabbing the creature somewhere), is a faster and quicker alternative to boiling them. I remember one Julia Child show where she wrapped a lobster in parchment paper and tossed it in the microwave; people freaked out I gather. [sarcasm]Yeah, like that’s sooo much worse than being boiled to death[/sarcasm] I’m a vegetarian personally, but lobster really has to be very fresh to be any good. ---
**Author:** ![SCHLERMIE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e19adc/32.png) [@SCHLERMIE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCHLERMIE)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/26 "2003-05-29T14:09:57Z")
Waitaminute! I thought I read somewhere that lobsters were the genetic cousins of spiders. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/27 "2003-05-29T17:13:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SCHLERMIE \* > \*\*Waitaminute! I thought I read somewhere that lobsters were the genetic cousins of spiders. \*\* Spiders, cockroaches, whatever. The keyword is “bug” 😃 And, pray tell, what is this “extra lobster meat” of which you speak? I have never heard of such a thing. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/28 "2003-05-29T17:36:58Z")
My sister (er, maybe I should say my _seester_) thanks all for their comments. Perhaps now she’ll finally register and I’ll have brought yet another over to the dark side, Bwahahahaha… I should also point out that I’m not sure from where all this squeamishness emanates, since I have with mine own eyes seen her methodically chew her way through half the king crab in Alaska… Oops, I may be earning a smack there. Good thing I’m 1200 miles away. ---
**Author:** ![raz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@raz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raz)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/29 "2003-05-29T22:51:21Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Silentgoldfish \* Fortunately I’ve always had others to do my lobster and crab killing for me – my mum gets given an esky of lobsters (around 50) every time she does work on an island in the South Pacific so although we’ve usually got a freezer full of them I’ve never actually had to kill one! [QUOTE] Hey, that must be nice! What island is it that your mom works at? I love anything that has to do with the South Pacific Islands and the surrounding area. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/30 "2003-05-29T23:32:23Z")
They scream when they hit the boiling water, ya know. Put that in the mental picture frame. * * * The buck don’t even slow down here. ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2003, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/31 "2003-05-29T23:37:31Z")
You are [kidding](http://www.cooksrecipes.com/seafood/how-to-cook-lobster-recipe.html), right? ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/32 "2003-05-30T01:24:07Z")
> [@](#): > > A general rule of thumb: When the antennae pull out easily, the lobsters are done. Eeeeeewwww. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/33 "2003-05-30T01:54:24Z")
You mean they _don’t_ scream when you cook them? But that’s half the fun of cooking lobsters! ---
**Author:** ![alibey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@alibey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alibey)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/34 "2003-05-30T02:09:55Z")
send some of them this way if you don’t want to kill them, I will find them a nice home… (patting belly) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/35 "2003-05-30T03:53:07Z")
I relate to your sister. My mom’s company gave her three lobsters once. I was about eight years old. I like animals–all of 'em, from kitties to puppies to roly-polies. They’re cute. I liked just about every animal when I was eight. So, of course, I _named the fucking lobsters_. :eek: Ooooh, boy, was I pissed off when my dad just threw 'em into the pot. I did NOT know that making lobster involved boiling the poor things alive (I was EIGHT! I’m not even sure I knew that they killed the cows to make hamburger; I think I thought they died a natural death). Didn’t eat lobster that night. I’ve never eaten lobster. In memory of Pinchers, Zed, and Billy. ---
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/36 "2003-05-30T05:33:54Z")
“Zed? Zed’s dead, baby.” ---
**Author:** ![Banger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8491ac/32.png) [@Banger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Banger)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/37 "2003-05-30T05:47:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by El\_Kabong \* > \*\* How do you think someone in Maine would like to receive a special chicken dinner from America’s heartland, complete with a live chicken and instructions on how to chop its little head off? \*\* I’m assuming they just wait for the pot to boil and then throw the chicken in. ---
**Author:** ![dweezil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3ec8ea/32.png) [@dweezil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dweezil)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/38 "2003-05-30T15:43:05Z")
Some Fun Sites About Lobsters: - [http://www.512productions.com/lobstermagnet/](http://www.512productions.com/lobstermagnet/) - [http://www.lobsterlib.com/questions.html](http://www.lobsterlib.com/questions.html) ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/39 "2003-05-30T15:55:52Z")
And if you want to order lobsters for a friend, visit [LobsterGram](http://www.lobstergram.com). You’ll notice on that site that the smart thing to do is to send the recipient a gift card which allows them to pick a date for the lobsters to be delivered, and indeed allows the recipient to pick tender, delicious STEAKS if they’re not really into KNIFING LIVE ANIMALS IN THE EYE. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfgrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@Wolfgrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfgrrl)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2003, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/40 "2003-05-30T15:58:38Z")
> [@](#): > > How do you think someone in Maine would like to receive a special chicken dinner from America’s heartland, complete with a live chicken and instructions on how to chop its little head off? True story: my mom is originally from Maine, and one day many years ago my granddad was driving along and spotted a rooster about to cross the road, so he stopped to let it go. A car coming the other way nailed it, sending the bloody carcass up onto my granddad’s windshield. This would seem to indicate that some people from Maine, at least, apparently have no more reservation about murdering beady-eyed birdies than they do with waterbugs. I guess this touches on the other age-old question as well, doesn’t it? No jokes please about whether my grandparents, being from Maine, ate the rooster. Everyone knows roosters are too tough to eat. ~ Randi [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137.md?page=3)