# Don't assume I wanna murder a lobster **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 28, 2003, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137 "2003-05-28T23:09:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2003, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/81 "2003-06-02T18:40:16Z")
…as he was never technically alive, couldn’t the Vegan eat the Idol Man…? ---
**Author:** ![Tenar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/82 "2003-06-03T04:22:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Waverly \* > \*\*That’s a mighty good point. I enjoy a lobster tail, lobster bisque, or any number of dishes – but put the whole mass of legs and tentacles on my plate, and I’m at a bit of a loss. I _hate_ it when you order a tail and they present you with an entire critter. \*\* You’ve been served a lobster with TENTACLES? Wow. Sounds like genetic engineering has come further than I thought. But wouldn’t the tentacles make it harder to keep the lobster from climbing out of the pot of boiling water? ---
**Author:** ![Tenar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/83 "2003-06-03T04:24:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Waverly \* > \*\*That’s a mighty good point. I enjoy a lobster tail, lobster bisque, or any number of dishes – but put the whole mass of legs and tentacles on my plate, and I’m at a bit of a loss. I _hate_ it when you order a tail and they present you with an entire critter. \*\* You’ve been served a lobster with TENTACLES? Wow. Sounds like genetic engineering has come further than I thought. Though it would certainly explain the whole “puppy dog eyes” thing. (But wouldn’t the tentacles make it harder to keep the lobster from climbing out of the pot of boiling water?) ---
**Author:** ![Tenar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/84 "2003-06-03T04:27:12Z")
Crap. My first post in months and I double post it. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/85 "2003-06-03T05:01:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by El\_Kabong \* > \*\ ***Happy Scrappy Hero Pup** , let me be the first to say you are one sick puppy. Sick but hilarious. Cheers. \*\* It ain’t him that’s hilarious. I’ve seen that story all over the net. > [@](#): > > Did I miss it somewhere, or did the OP explain how a lobster arrives unbidden? This made me literally LOL. Something about the way it was worded. I imagined a lobster scrabbling up the front walk and scratching at the door with a rubber-banded claw… ---
**Author:** ![kunoichi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4da419/32.png) [@kunoichi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kunoichi)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/86 "2003-06-03T10:48:34Z")
Hey, if anyone thinks dropping live lobsters in boiling water is bad, I heard that in Japan they have kind of an extreme form of sushi where they take the lobster and dismember it in various ways, and serve it to you on a platter. Apparently you can still see the eyes moving and internal organs throbbing… On a slightly related note, check out Ethel the Opera Lobster at [Gobler Toys](http://www.goblertoys.com). ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/87 "2003-06-03T12:45:25Z")
Actually, I AM pretty funny. As far as the story being all over the Net, that’s news to me. I wrote it as a riff off an old “Bloom County” strip where Steve and the others trap a liberal with a Village Voice and a rope net. And you’d have to figure that it’d be a Parkway-dweller trying to cut a man down. 16W represent! ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/88 "2003-06-03T13:22:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by quietman1920 \* > \*\*Q: You Did you ask it if it could sing, didn’t you? > > Under the sea > Under the sea > Darling it’s better > Down where it’s wetter > Take it from me > Up on the shore they work all day > Out in the sun they slave away > While we devotin’ > Full time to floatin’ > Under the sea… \*\* **quietman1920** - CRABS sing Disney songs. Lobsters are partial to the B-52’s. ---
**Author:** ![LarryBobb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@LarryBobb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LarryBobb)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/89 "2003-06-03T14:07:56Z")
> [@](#): > > …Japan they have kind of an extreme form of sushi where they take the lobster and dismember it in various ways, and serve it to you on a platter… I don’t know about live lobster sushi, but I know that there is a similar dish done with [shrimp](http://www.newmex.com/platinum/data/light/species/shrimpkuruma.html). The description that I had originally read about “dancing shrimp” had the shrimp dancing because they were on a hot griddle. I didn’t see that when I was there, but there were a few things that I had when I was there that you would have a hard time serving in most countries, including deep-fried fish bones (which were surprisingly good!) and grilled chicken cartilege (which I enjoyed a bit less). Suffice it to say that the Japanese waste nothing in their cooking… ---
**Author:** ![DeskMonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f14d63/32.png) [@DeskMonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeskMonkey)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/90 "2003-06-03T14:43:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kunoichi \* > \*\*I heard that in Japan they have kind of an extreme form of sushi where they take the lobster and dismember it in various ways, and serve it to you on a platter. Apparently you can still see the eyes moving and internal organs throbbing… > \*\* I’ve seen this at sushi restaurants here in the US, it’s vile. They chop the lobster in half and prop him up in the middle of a plate of sushi. The claws and other assorted appendages wave around and it quite disturbing. I don’t know if you actually eat the lobster or just enjoy it’s slow death while you partake of your meal, either way I’ll pass. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/91 "2003-06-03T17:21:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Happy Scrappy Hero Pup \* > \*\*Actually, I AM pretty funny. As far as the story being all over the Net, that’s news to me. I wrote it as a riff off an old “Bloom County” strip where Steve and the others trap a liberal with a Village Voice and a rope net. > > And you’d have to figure that it’d be a Parkway-dweller trying to cut a man down. 16W represent! \*\* Well, then a lot of others had the same idea. But I’ll drink for false accu and welcome you to the boards anyway. And the bit about the deconstructionist 'zine was pretty good. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/92 "2003-06-03T17:59:34Z")
Hey, the fringe elements are easy to caricature. No offense taken. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/93 "2003-06-03T19:34:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Waverly \* > \*\*Sure, they belong to the same phylum. They only differ by class, order, family, genus and species, making them practically cousins - just like humans and their close relative the python. \*\* As shown by [this chart (middle of page)](http://www.goodeatsfanpage.com/Season4/LobsterTranscript.htm) lobsters and cockroaches are closer to telemarketers than man is. So if you’ve no qualms about boiling or crushing either of the former… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Apricot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bcef8e/32.png) [@Apricot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apricot)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/94 "2003-06-03T20:41:07Z")
In the June 24, 2002 issue of Newsweek there’s an article entitled:" Hey, It’s Hot In Here!" The author mentions a company that will send a live lobster to your door. The suggested cooking directions are to just microwave that lobster. The author does so, and the lobster tap tap taps on the door as it goes around on the turntable. If I remember correctly, there were quite a few angry letters the next month. It does sound rather gastly. Unfortunatly I can’t link to the article, it requires a subscription. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/95 "2003-06-03T20:49:53Z")
I’ll stick to boiling. Microwaving Lobsters…? Shades of **Frank Black** and **The Millenium Group** :eek: ---
**Author:** ![kunoichi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4da419/32.png) [@kunoichi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kunoichi)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/96 "2003-06-03T21:42:31Z")
Anyone remember the video game Maniac Mansion? I remember in the original release for Nintendo, you could put a hamster in the microwave… they had to change it after someone found out tho… Sorry, random digression along the lines of torturing animals 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/97 "2003-06-03T21:57:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kunoichi \* > \*\*Anyone remember the video game Maniac Mansion? I remember in the original release for Nintendo, you could put a hamster in the microwave… they had to change it after someone found out tho… > > Sorry, random digression along the lines of torturing animals 😉 \*\* [Micro-Gerbil 2001](http://www.joecartoon.com/pages/microgerbil/) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kellibelli](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e480ec/32.png) [@kellibelli](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kellibelli)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2003, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/98 "2003-06-03T22:04:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Satisfying Andy Licious \* > \*\*Guys gotta remember that despite all this feminism stuff, some things have not changed. Guys still have to kill the dinner before offering it to the woman. If you give it to her while it’s still alive and expect her to kill it, you’ve made a really bad move. \*\* I will happily kill any lobster. Generations of women living near the sea kill and cook lobster. Giving a live lobster a bad move?? BAH! Any man who gives me lobster gets sex. Period. OH and round here, we eat the WHOLE lobster, we nibble all the way down those long thing legs and get the tender strip of meat, we snap the flippers off the end of the tail for the little taste inside… I usually start with the tail, a quick twist, and its off the body, i hold it between both hands and squeeze, cracking the shell lengthwise, then snap it backwards, releasing the entire shaft of meat… the claws are straightforward, i use nutcrackers if i have them, my teeth if i dont, and then the body, thats a little treat of its own for when you are all done the easy-to-get meat. mmmmmmmmmmm lobster… ---
**Author:** ![SCSimmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e495f1/32.png) [@SCSimmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCSimmons)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2003, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/99 "2003-06-04T02:04:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kellibelli \* > \*\*Giving a live lobster a bad move?? BAH! Any man who gives me lobster gets sex. Period. \*\* Um, can I have your shipping address? > [@](#): > > **I usually start with the tail, a quick twist, and its off the body, i hold it between both hands and squeeze, cracking the shell lengthwise, then snap it backwards, releasing the entire shaft of meat…** Actually, on second thought, never mind. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Satisfying\_Andy\_Licious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satisfying_Andy_Licious)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2003, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137/100 "2003-06-04T05:20:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kellibelli \* > **I will happily kill any lobster. Generations of women living near the sea kill and cook lobster.** Yes, I should have included an exemption for self-sufficient, non-squeamish women. I was thinking of the courtship rituals of the metropolitan variety. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kellibelli \* > **Giving a live lobster a bad move?? BAH! Any man who gives me lobster gets sex. Period.** Maybe I’m just being my usual snarky self, but you might want to delete that last word. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-assume-i-wanna-murder-a-lobster/178137.md?page=6)