# Don't be impatient with poo **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 26, 2014, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-impatient-with-poo/694088 "2014-07-26T06:20:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-impatient-with-poo/694088/1 "2014-07-26T06:20:19Z")
Today I had some constipation at a picnic. After many minutes my poo still wouldn’t come out. Then I started sticking my finger up my bottom to try and get some poo out. I then tried to push some more. I’d grab bits of poo and after a while the pushing allowed me to do a bit of a poo. Then I started to wipe my bottom and hands with toilet paper. I noticed there was quite a bit of blood. The public toilets didn’t have a soap dispenser and to turn the tap on I had to use one hand so it was difficult to wash my hands. I apparently took 20 minutesbWhen I got back to the house I used a soap dispenser to wash my hands more thoroughly. I said that my poo went badly and eventually explained why. They didn’t want to know. But I’ve learnt my lesson… don’t be impatient with poo because you might bleed and that is bad. BTW readers of this thread might want to post in: I object to JohnClay’s very existence and everything he stands for > **[I object to JohnClay's very existence and everything he stands for](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=729359)** > > Not really, but I thought Ellen Cherry’s mod note was hilarious. Anyway, dude is annoying. Get a blog, already! ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-impatient-with-poo/694088/2 "2014-07-26T07:18:41Z")
I just remembered about laxatives… I’ve never taken them before because but I’ll keep them in mind in the future… ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 9:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-impatient-with-poo/694088/3 "2014-07-26T09:06:03Z")
On the topic of poo I found this book for $6 at a bookshop about 2 months ago: “The Odd Squad Little Book of Poo” > **[The Odd Squad Little Book of Poo (The Odd Squad) (Odd Squad's Little Book...](https://www.amazon.com/Odd-Squad-Little-Book-Squads/dp/1841610968)** > > The Odd Squad Little Book of Poo (The Odd Squad) (Odd Squad's Little Book Of...) \[allan-plenderleith\] on Amazon.com. \*FREE\* shipping on qualifying offers. The Odd Squad Little Book of Poo (The Odd Squad) (Odd Squad's Little Book Of...) or maybe it was “The Odd Squad’s Guide to Poo” > **[The Odd Squad's Guide to Poo: Plenderleith, Allan: 9781841613253: Amazon.com:...](https://www.amazon.com/Odd-Squads-Guide-Poo/dp/1841613258)** > > The Odd Squad's Guide to Poo \[Plenderleith, Allan\] on Amazon.com. \*FREE\* shipping on qualifying offers. The Odd Squad's Guide to Poo though it wasn’t “I Love Poo! (Odd Squad I Love Collection)” > **[I Love Poo! (Odd Squad I Love Collection...): Plenderleith, Allan:...](https://www.amazon.com/Love-Poo-Odd-Squad-Collection/dp/1841612405)** > > I Love Poo! (Odd Squad I Love Collection...) \[Plenderleith, Allan\] on Amazon.com. \*FREE\* shipping on qualifying offers. I Love Poo! (Odd Squad I Love Collection...) I can’t find it at the moment so I’m not sure what the exact title was. I also got a similar book about a similarly controversial topic for $6. Edit: I found it: “Odd Squad’s Big Poo Handbook” [http://www.brumbysunstate.com.au/Script/MCH/Products/963679-Peribo-9781841611686-ODD-SQUAD’S-BIG-POO-HANDBOOK](http://www.brumbysunstate.com.au/Script/MCH/Products/963679-Peribo-9781841611686-ODD-SQUAD'S-BIG-POO-HANDBOOK) ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Why\_Bother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19adc/32.png) [@Doctor\_Why\_Bother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Why_Bother)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 9:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-impatient-with-poo/694088/4 "2014-07-26T09:58:34Z")
Oh, fucking Christ… ---
**Author:** ![JohnClay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@JohnClay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnClay)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-impatient-with-poo/694088/5 "2014-07-26T10:03:11Z")
The f word?! That’s a bit rude. ---
**Author:** ![Iggy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iggy/32/3364_2.png) [@Iggy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iggy)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-impatient-with-poo/694088/6 "2014-07-26T10:38:22Z")
He forgot that fine piece of literature [Everyone Poops](http://www.amazon.com/Everyone-Turtleback-Library-Binding-Edition/dp/0613685725#) ---
**Author:** ![bobot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobot/32/21622_2.png) [@bobot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobot)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-impatient-with-poo/694088/7 "2014-07-26T11:28:45Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > … I’d grab bits of poo … …is a phrase I have never used before in my life. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-impatient-with-poo/694088/8 "2014-07-26T11:53:31Z")
And the shit hits the fan. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-impatient-with-poo/694088/9 "2014-07-26T12:40:33Z")
> [@JohnClay](#): > > I just remembered about laxatives… I’ve never taken them before because but I’ll keep them in mind in the future… Okay, let’s try to make at least one actual, y’know, helpful comment: There are many kinds of laxatives that work in several different ways, with various degrees and kinds of side-effects, mostly mild. You should look into that. There are certainly some threads here that you could find with a bit of searching, as well as any number of sources of information elsewhere on the web. TL;DR: Laxatives actually work as advertised, generally. But note, the kind of crude and graphic discussion given in the OP will more likely just least to dismissive responses in this thread. Do you discuss things like this at Thanksgiving family get-togethers? ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2014, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-impatient-with-poo/694088/10 "2014-07-26T13:55:32Z")
**JohnClay** , you’re under mod instructions not to start over-sharing, TMI threads. We specified you sex life and your relationship with your wife as areas forbidden to you – didn’t occur to us to add your bowels. Consider your bowels included on the list of things you shouldn’t start threads on. No warning issued. **twickster** , MPSIMS moderator