# Don't be proud of being a fucking bitch **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 7, 2007, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-proud-of-being-a-fucking-bitch/399101 "2007-04-07T14:37:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![lowbrass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dc4da7/32.png) [@lowbrass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lowbrass)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2007, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-proud-of-being-a-fucking-bitch/399101/121 "2007-04-07T20:28:44Z")
[QUOTE=Aeschines] I’ve said my polite peace in the other thread. I find you people willing to judge this person and call her names and go for the jugular quite scary, yet quite normal for the Dope. [/QUOTE] For crying out loud, Aeschines - is there _nothing_ so heinous that it would _ever_ warrant negative responses by other people? I read the linked OP and I was utterly shocked by the self-centered attitude of this person. I do think a pile-on mentality sometimes prevails here, but if ever there were a case where it was justified, wouldn’t this be it? ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2007, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-proud-of-being-a-fucking-bitch/399101/122 "2007-04-07T20:31:39Z")
[QUOTE=featherlou] And now I see the original thread has been locked. I don’t actually understand why - anyone? [/QUOTE] Well, judging by **Czarcasm** ’s comment when locking it… > [@\-Czarcasm](#): > > RSSchen, if you want to start a thread titled,“Tell me that my affair won’t hurt anybody!”, you may do so(preferably in MPSIMS). I’m locking this. …i’m going to assume it was locked because it the OP asked for help, and yet, by her behavior in the thread, made very clear that what she wanted was not help or advice, but merely justification and enabling. She asked for advice in the OP, but rejected every piece of advice that didn’t conform to her pre-existing notions of what she wanted to do, and what made her feel good. If you ask for advice on a subject, you should do so honestly. Persoanlly, i think they could have moved it to MPSIMS rather than close it, but either way it’s clear that **RSSchen** opened the thread hoping that everyone would tell her that everything was fine. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2007, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-proud-of-being-a-fucking-bitch/399101/123 "2007-04-07T20:34:30Z")
[QUOTE=wring] [you apparently can’t stop being an asshole](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=413257) (fixed coding) [/QUOTE] Allow me ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2007, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-proud-of-being-a-fucking-bitch/399101/124 "2007-04-07T20:34:50Z")
[QUOTE=featherlou] And now I see the original thread has been locked. I don’t actually understand why - anyone? [/QUOTE] Probably because the o.p. was attention whoring for adulation and approval in the guise of asking for helpful opinions; clearly more of an MPSIMS topic than IMHO. (Also, I assume, as a preemtive step to prevent it from degrading to the point where someone gets banned out of uncontrolled outrage.) As for this thread; I usually stay away from this kind of nonsense 'cause it’s always going to turn into a pile-on, but I have to admit a certain cathartic enjoyment in this one. I sincerely doubt that opinion–no matter how rationally stated–is going to cause the o.p. to desist in her deception since she seems totally wrapped up in her own “happiness” and a certain underlying thrill in deceiving her dim bulb of a husband regardless of obvious and stated potential consequences, so from a practical standpoint, like most Pit threads it’s pretty pointless, but watching the nonsensical, self-serving rationalizations and responding with the kind of ascerbic comments I wish I was smart enoughb to come up with when I was 11 or 12 is sort of a belated wish fulfillment. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2007, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-proud-of-being-a-fucking-bitch/399101/125 "2007-04-07T20:36:05Z")
**RSSchen** , here’s my advice to you. You’re posting on the wrong forum. As noted a lot of people here are prudes and very judgemental. You need a cooler, hipper place to post about your situation. I recommend the forums at [somethingawful.com](http://somethingawful.com) Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2007, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-proud-of-being-a-fucking-bitch/399101/126 "2007-04-07T20:37:27Z")
**Mhendo** , I understand what you’re saying, but the mods usually don’t simply lock threads that aren’t going the way the OP wants them to, in my experience. You think that was all it was? I see **Stranger** has also posted now - that in addition to **Mhendo’s** reason makes more sense. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2007, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-proud-of-being-a-fucking-bitch/399101/127 "2007-04-07T20:37:57Z")
[QUOTE=Mtgman] **RSSchen** , here’s my advice to you. You’re posting on the wrong forum. As noted a lot of people here are prudes and very judgemental. You need a cooler, hipper place to post about your situation. I recommend the forums at [somethingawful.com](http://somethingawful.com) Enjoy, Steven [/QUOTE] well that’s just mean. (I approve) ---
**Author:** ![sinjin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ebca7d/32.png) [@sinjin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sinjin)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2007, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-proud-of-being-a-fucking-bitch/399101/128 "2007-04-07T20:41:58Z")
While I agree with most of the posters in this thread about RSS’s behaviour; I can’t help wondering if this is somehow medication or mental health related. A short while ago there was another thread started by RSS about taking a vacation from her meds (as a booster for the affair, it now seems): [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=413791) IANAD and I don’t play one on TV, but this just seems so different than the rest of her posts (and no I haven’t read them all, but she’s been here quite awhile). It almost seems like a case of “Death by Message Board” Not only is she screwing her family, she’s totally lost her esteem on the dope. That’s all I got. I now return you to your regularly scheduled pitting. sinjin ---
**Author:** ![C3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/c3/32/3108_2.png) [@C3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C3)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2007, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-proud-of-being-a-fucking-bitch/399101/129 "2007-04-07T20:42:10Z")
[QUOTE=casdave] Presumably, both the subject and her husband probably have parents too, who may have contact with the children. Who will know what I wonder ? Will her mother be proud of her ? There are so many more victims here, because you also have to take into account future relationships of husband, wife, future partners, children, grandparents. Hell, nephews, aunts, uncles etc could be hurt by this, we do not yet know anything of the familial relationships, but when it all falls apart, the accusations are going to fly. All because someone is enjoying themselves right now, but at the expense of someone else. [/QUOTE] Yeah, it seems like cheaters never consider this (or just don’t care, which is probably more likely). I posted awhile ago (two years? jeesh!) about my friend whose husband left her for another woman. The other woman’s husband committed suicide, leaving behind the kids he had been the stay-at-home parent to. These kids are now pretty messed up and their mother and now live-in boyfriend seem to have no idea why. My friend is obviously still dealing with the devastation of her divorce. Her kids (3 & 6) are going through terrible anxiety because of not really understanding what the hell happened to their happy family (and the personality of the older one has completely changed). My friend’s siblings and parents have been devastated, not only from watching the severe pain my friend and her kids are going through, but because they lost someone they considered part of their family. The friends of the couple were divided (the group of friends we belonged to, at least)…everyone really agreed that the cheater was scum, but he was their childhood friend, so what do you do? Easier to just not get together much anymore. I know that watching this all unfold caused my husband and I to re-evaluate our marriage (for us, at least, it was in a good way). The shockwaves surrounding the dissolution of a marriage are incredible, especially when it’s caused by such wantonly destructive behavior. Cheaters are disgusting. I have zero time for such selfish people. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2007, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-proud-of-being-a-fucking-bitch/399101/130 "2007-04-07T20:44:12Z")
thanks for the assists on coding - I thought I’d fixed the link pretty immediately, but apparently I still managed to screw it up. anyhow, thanks. Funny how y’all knew **exactly** which thread I was talking about but the object of it didn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Caridwen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c89c15/32.png) [@Caridwen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caridwen)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2007, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-proud-of-being-a-fucking-bitch/399101/131 "2007-04-07T20:45:16Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] (I’m, frankly, just amazed and happy that my suggestion that she discuss re-negotiating their marriage contract hasn’t been met with similar stones, and that a fairly large (relatively speaking) number of people have finally gotten than polyamory isn’t the same thing as an illicit affair and vice-versa. Honestly, it makes me feel like maybe I (and a few others, I can’t take all the credit) have actually made a difference in the last few years here, and that makes me happy.) [/QUOTE] She’s not interested in re-negotiating anything. She wants to leave as soon as other guy is ready. How would you go about re-negotiating a marriage if one partner is and wants to be faithful and the other wants to screw around? Faithful partner just has to suck it up and accept it if he wants to stay together? Granted she sounds like a catch, being in her words “bright and quick” and spending all day on MySpace :rolleyes: but I suspect she knows that when dim bulb finds out he’ll kick her to the curb. ---
**Author:** ![MizGrand](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cdc98d/32.png) [@MizGrand](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MizGrand)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2007, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-proud-of-being-a-fucking-bitch/399101/132 "2007-04-07T20:45:21Z")
Okay folks, I’m back. Had to go to a birthday party. Sorry for abandoning the burning ship for so long. I have read every single post without prejudice. I can understand the outrage. I agree that while the deception of my husband is loathesome and I’m not providing him the respect he deserves, he IS getting a more pleasant person to be around right now. I say three years simply because my children are small (3 & 6). I AM a good mom and take good care of my home responsibilities. Sometimes I feel that all I am to my husband is a cook, housecleaner, babysitter, accountant and financial adviser. I also don’t believe that the disruption of my family RIGHT NOW is the smart thing to do. Actually, giving a time frame and thinking “well, if it’s still like this then” sounded smart. I’m seeing here that you all don’t agree. Fine. Yes, my husband deserves someone who loves him fully. Do y’all think I’ve never thought of that?? WRONG - I have. I’m dismayed that by sharing this that I’ve deeply put off some posters that I really like and respect. For that I’m sorry. Hopefully y’all can see past this and continue along with me. Now, if you absolutely must - continue the flame fest. I’ll keep reading your thoughts and, like they say, oh gosh what’s that saying? Keep what’s valid and toss the rest. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2007, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-proud-of-being-a-fucking-bitch/399101/133 "2007-04-07T20:49:33Z")
your kids are 3 and 6? damn. and you think that in 3 years they’ll be able to handle the divorce? My son’s father left us when son was a year and a half old. He left his next wife when son was 6, left the next one when he was 17. Want me to ask him which one was easiest? ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2007, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-proud-of-being-a-fucking-bitch/399101/134 "2007-04-07T20:50:47Z")
[QUOTE=RSSchen] Keep what’s valid and toss the rest. [/QUOTE] You misspelled “Keep what I agree with and ignore the rest.” ---
**Author:** ![Caridwen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c89c15/32.png) [@Caridwen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caridwen)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2007, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-proud-of-being-a-fucking-bitch/399101/135 "2007-04-07T20:51:26Z")
[QUOTE=wring] your kids are 3 and 6? damn. and you think that in 3 years they’ll be able to handle the divorce? My son’s father left us when son was a year and a half old. He left his next wife when son was 6, left the next one when he was 17. Want me to ask him which one was easiest? [/QUOTE] but she’s HAPPY!! ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2007, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-proud-of-being-a-fucking-bitch/399101/136 "2007-04-07T20:51:52Z")
RSSchen needs to get a job and start supporting herself. She’s so depressed and bored that she thinks fucking a guy she knew in high school is the answer to her problems. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2007, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-proud-of-being-a-fucking-bitch/399101/137 "2007-04-07T20:52:38Z")
Did you read my post in the other thread? My Mom just wanted to be happy. She swore that the kids weren’t going to be affected. My life got blown up when I was 8. I am now 43 and still have to deal with the consequences. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2007, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-proud-of-being-a-fucking-bitch/399101/138 "2007-04-07T20:53:33Z")
[QUOTE=Caridwen] but she’s HAPPY!! [/QUOTE] oh, hell, I **did** forget that. That’s the overruling principal, isn’t it. ---
**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2007, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-proud-of-being-a-fucking-bitch/399101/139 "2007-04-07T20:54:03Z")
[QUOTE=hajario] Allow me [/QUOTE] You got the urge to Pit me? Then Pit me, I don’t care. But don’t shit in this thread, because it ain’t about me. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2007, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-proud-of-being-a-fucking-bitch/399101/140 "2007-04-07T20:54:58Z")
[QUOTE=hajario] Did you read my post in the other thread? My Mom just wanted to be happy. She swore that the kids weren’t going to be affected. My life got blown up when I was 8. I am now 43 and still have to deal with the consequences. [/QUOTE] **haj** I think it’s clear that if she reads a post that doesn’t support her exactly in the way she wants, it’s immediately dismissed as irrelevant. after all, the guy’s gonna marry her in 3 years, when her kids will be a very mature 6 and 9. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-proud-of-being-a-fucking-bitch/399101.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-proud-of-being-a-fucking-bitch/399101.md?page=8)