# Don't be such a Jerk, Ukulele Ike **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 5, 2003, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-such-a-jerk-ukulele-ike/146714 "2003-01-05T03:30:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 20
**Author:** ![Avalonian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee7513/32.png) [@Avalonian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avalonian)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2003, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-such-a-jerk-ukulele-ike/146714/381 "2003-01-07T08:40:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by grendel72 \* > **That argument is total fucking bullshit, mswas, and I think you know it. Just sitting back and taking their shit will get us as a civilisation nowhere, we have to make them realise that they are wrong.** Damn… I think **grendel** just got _whooshed_ pretty bad, too. He completely missed the point of **mswas** ’ post, which was really one of the most even-handed in the entire thread. Par for the course, I guess. I suggest you re-read **mswas** ’ post a little more carefully, m’man. For comprehension, this time. You might even agree with it. For what it’s worth, **lee** (and **KellyM** by extension, if she’s still reading), I’m glad you retracted your rant about **Ukulele Ike**. Nice to see that a little bit of forgiveness and healing can still happen after all this. And, very sincerely, best of luck with your child to come. Enjoy your child… I think you’ll find that, as it grows, you’ll learn as much from it as it does from you. At least, that’s what I’ve found. ---
**Author:** ![Avalonian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee7513/32.png) [@Avalonian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avalonian)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2003, 8:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-such-a-jerk-ukulele-ike/146714/382 "2003-01-07T08:47:01Z")
Sorry about the double-post, but **Joe\_Cool** ’s post reminded me of something that occurred to me earlier this evening. Why the hubbub about referring to sperm as “male” or “female”? When you get down to brass tacks, it’s really both (or neither). Referring to it as “man sperm” is just as accurate (or inaccurate, depending on your take on it) as referring to it as “woman sperm.” What’s the big deal? And who really cares what others choose to call it anyway? Neither is a contradiction in biological terms… that seemed to be a point that was belabored a bit too much in the thread, and I’m really not sure why. _shrug_ ---
**Author:** ![Joe\_Cool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecb155/32.png) [@Joe\_Cool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Cool)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2003, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-such-a-jerk-ukulele-ike/146714/383 "2003-01-07T09:22:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Esprix \* > \*\*And thank you, **Joe** , for adding so much to the conversation. We’re all in awe of you. > > Now go away. > > Esprix \*\* Sure thing, Loretta. Whatever you say. If there’s one thing I’ve always wanted, it’s your awe. Avalonian, I suppose it’s possible I misunderstood the “Woman Sperm” thing, but my impression was that she considers the sperm to have been generated by, and come from, a woman. Which is not only impossible, but silly. > [@](#): > > Requisite Excerpt From “Life Of Brian”: > FRANCIS: Why are you always on about women, Stan? > STAN: I want to be one. > REG: What? > STAN: I want to be a woman. **From now on, I want you all to call me ‘Loretta’.** > REG: What?! > LORETTA: It’s my right as a man. > JUDITH: Well, why do you want to be Loretta, Stan? > LORETTA: I want to have babies. > REG: You want to have babies?! > LORETTA: It’s every man’s right to have babies if he wants them. > REG: But… you can’t have babies. > LORETTA: Don’t you oppress me. > REG: I’m not oppressing you, Stan. You haven’t got a womb! Where’s the foetus going to gestate?! You going to keep it in a box?! > LORETTA: [crying] > JUDITH: Here! I-- I’ve got an idea. Suppose you agree that he can’t actually have babies, not having a womb, which is nobody’s fault, not even the Romans’, but that he can have the right to have babies. > FRANCIS: Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother. Sister. Sorry. > REG: What’s the point? > FRANCIS: What? > REG: What’s the point of fighting for his right to have babies when he can’t have babies?! > FRANCIS: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression. > REG: Symbolic of his struggle against reality. So I’ll fight the oppressors for a woman’s RIGHT to make sperm, ok? Does that make you feel better? ---
**Author:** ![grendel72](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/91b2a8/32.png) [@grendel72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grendel72)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2003, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-such-a-jerk-ukulele-ike/146714/384 "2003-01-07T10:28:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Avalonian \* > **Damn… I think grendel just got _whooshed_ pretty bad, too.** No whoosh at all. **mswas** insists that those of us expecting tolerance must be doormats for bigots. **mswas** claims that **lee** and **Kelly** were intolerant of the scum sucking pigfuckers who dragged completely extraneous personal details into this petty little pissing match for no reason other than to be hurtful, when in fact they were extremely tolerant of that shit. Bigots deserve no tolerance, that is a bullshit argument that their apologists always use in the mistaken impression that they are being clever. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2003, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-such-a-jerk-ukulele-ike/146714/385 "2003-01-07T11:00:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by grendel72 \* > \*\ ***mswas** claims that **lee** and **Kelly** were intolerant of the scum sucking pigfuckers \*\* Oh, sure…now bring **my** sexuality into it… ---
**Author:** ![grendel72](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/91b2a8/32.png) [@grendel72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grendel72)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2003, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-such-a-jerk-ukulele-ike/146714/386 "2003-01-07T11:03:04Z")
I’m sorry about that, **bup**. I didn’t mean to offend any pigfuckers out there, in fact I find Kermit the Frog quite funny. ---
**Author:** ![mikan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@mikan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mikan)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2003, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-such-a-jerk-ukulele-ike/146714/387 "2003-01-07T12:08:21Z")
Nothing to add. I just wanted to get the 10,000th post on this thread. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![mikan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@mikan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mikan)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2003, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-such-a-jerk-ukulele-ike/146714/388 "2003-01-07T12:10:08Z")
Uh, I meant 10,000th view. Brain not working. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2003, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-such-a-jerk-ukulele-ike/146714/389 "2003-01-07T13:47:45Z")
We happen to have a pre-op MTF sleeping on our couch for a week and I showed her this thread. She agrees with those who have said that the kid will have a lot more to worry about than Disney; her exact words were that this is “an explosive situation.” Though she didn’t come right out and say so, she also evidently had trouble with the whole “woman sperm” concept. She did say that the whole situation is tailor-made for Jerry Springer. ---
**Author:** ![Spiritus\_Mundi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c68b51/32.png) [@Spiritus\_Mundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiritus_Mundi)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2003, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-such-a-jerk-ukulele-ike/146714/390 "2003-01-07T14:09:21Z")
I notice that you manage to use the feminine pronoun to describe this visitor without needing to add caveats about chromosomal identity. There’s nothing particularly noteworthy about that. It’s a matter of simple courtesy. At least, it should be. ---
**Author:** ![Misery\_Loves\_Co](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7cd45c/32.png) [@Misery\_Loves\_Co](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misery_Loves_Co)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2003, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-such-a-jerk-ukulele-ike/146714/391 "2003-01-07T15:32:16Z")
If it weren’t so un-SDMB-ish, I’d just say forget it, **Spiritus**. They’re either too dense to get it, or too interested in counting coup. Sadly, I suspect it’s the latter - how does one combat willful obtuseness? ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2003, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-such-a-jerk-ukulele-ike/146714/392 "2003-01-07T16:33:17Z")
Prediction time! This thread will be closed within the next 48 hours for tying up the boards. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2003, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-such-a-jerk-ukulele-ike/146714/393 "2003-01-07T17:33:31Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **Joe\_Cool** _ > > Sure thing, Loretta… > > > [@](#): > > > > STAN: I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me ‘Loretta’. Nice, very nice. Anyone who disagrees with you is now a loathesome _transsexual_. You sure are a fucked up messenger for “good Christian ethics.” You disgust me. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2003, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-such-a-jerk-ukulele-ike/146714/394 "2003-01-07T18:24:22Z")
I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many nitpickers talking past each other before, it seems quite simple to me: KellyM is a she. She self-identifies as a woman and is in the process of making sure her genetalia agree with that self identification. **BUT** For the _biological_ process of impregnating a woman with sperm, KellyM is still _biologicaly_ a male. What’s so hard about that? ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2003, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-such-a-jerk-ukulele-ike/146714/395 "2003-01-07T20:01:22Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by grendel72 > Fuck the fuck off you worthless pathetic loser > All of the actual human beings have gotten on with their lives, but you just cant resist kicking them one last time, can you you little shit? > > Fuck off Mr. Cuntrag Anyone else hearing that Jack Black bit right before “Kyle Quit The Band” on the Tenacious D album? ---
**Author:** ![Joe\_Cool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecb155/32.png) [@Joe\_Cool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Cool)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2003, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-such-a-jerk-ukulele-ike/146714/396 "2003-01-07T23:17:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Esprix \* > \*\*Nice, very nice. Anyone who disagrees with you is now a loathesome _transsexual_. You sure are a fucked up messenger for “good Christian ethics.” \*\* Now where did I call you or anyone else loathesome? Or maybe it’s a Freudian slip - do _YOU_ think transsexuals are loathesome? Or do you just lack the ability to know a joke when one bites you on the posterior? It’s a freaking joke, for crying out loud. The point of it is people who take things way too seriously. Grow a sense of humor. If I can laugh at a 100 minute movie making fun of Christianity, surely you can survive a 15 second bit about your precious GLBTQEDLMNOP community without getting your panties in a twist, can’t you? Sheesh. > [@](#): > > **You disgust me.** Congratulations, Captain Yellowbeard. I’m glad my plan was a success! (note to Esprix - This is another comment intended to be funny. It is, again, from a Monty Python movie. It does not by any means indicate that my plan was, in fact, to disgust you.) ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2003, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-such-a-jerk-ukulele-ike/146714/397 "2003-01-07T23:25:08Z")
> [@](#): > > If I can laugh at a 100 minute movie making fun of Christianity, surely you can survive a 15 second bit about your precious GLBTQEDLMNOP community without getting your panties in a twist, can’t you? Why couldn’t you laugh at a movie that makes fun of Christianity? Oh, right, you’re a Christian. Sorry, it’s damned hard to tell. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2003, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-such-a-jerk-ukulele-ike/146714/398 "2003-01-07T23:46:23Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **Joe\_Cool** _ > > Now where did I call you or anyone else loathesome? Oh, yes, my mistake - I can tell from the context you really meant it as a compliment. :rolleyes: > [@](#): > > Or do you just lack the ability to know a joke when one bites you on the posterior? If it was a joke, no one got it. And it wasn’t funny. It was, instead, insulting. Is that your idea of humor? Nobody’s laughing. > [@](#): > > If I can laugh at a 100 minute movie making fun of Christianity, surely you can survive a 15 second bit about your precious GLBTQEDLMNOP community without getting your panties in a twist, can’t you? Did you even _read_ the rest of this thread? Nothing in it is funny, and no one’s cracking jokes. If you were shooting for humor, you’ve got the world’s worst timing. Your lack of empathy is astounding, and your high-handed attitude is appalling. I mean, really, just ask yourself - WWJD? :rolleyes: Esprix ---
**Author:** ![stpauler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@stpauler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stpauler)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2003, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-such-a-jerk-ukulele-ike/146714/399 "2003-01-07T23:51:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by andros \* > \*\*Why couldn’t you laugh at a movie that makes fun of Christianity? > > Oh, right, you’re a Christian. Sorry, it’s damned hard to tell. \*\* I think he said > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by joe\_cool \* > If I can laugh at a 100 minute movie making fun of Christianity That means he can laugh at it, hmm, maybe it’s just my english though…YMMV ---
**Author:** ![grendel72](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/91b2a8/32.png) [@grendel72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grendel72)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2003, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-such-a-jerk-ukulele-ike/146714/400 "2003-01-07T23:53:39Z")
I for one am curious as to what 100 minute movie making fun of Christians has ever been made? The filmmakers of _pro_ Christian movies like **The Last Temptation of Christ** and **Dogma** have recieved death threats, so I am really interested to see this movie that “makes fun” of Christians in as hurtful a way as some have “joked” in this thread. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-such-a-jerk-ukulele-ike/146714.md?page=19) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-be-such-a-jerk-ukulele-ike/146714.md?page=21)