# Don't Call Me And Say "Who's This?" **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 23, 2003, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-call-me-and-say-whos-this/209014 "2003-10-23T01:06:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![WILLASS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/54ee81/32.png) [@WILLASS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WILLASS)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-call-me-and-say-whos-this/209014/41 "2003-10-23T10:39:50Z")
I have to ask, what would telemarketers gain from ringing first to find out your name? Why not just start their telemarketing pitch straight away, maybe ask for the homeowner for example? I don’t see any benefit in finding out your name first except maybe to the phone company. Also I have to back up my countrymen here, a lot of people in Britain answer the phone with either their name or sometimes their telephone number allowing you to realise if you have misdialed, although it is certainley in decline now. ---
**Author:** ![coffeecat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coffeecat/32/3405_2.png) [@coffeecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecat)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-call-me-and-say-whos-this/209014/42 "2003-10-23T10:53:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\*Um, what’s wrong with, “Is Sylvia there, please?” in this situation? \*\* I might not be calling Sylvia. ---
**Author:** ![coffeecat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coffeecat/32/3405_2.png) [@coffeecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecat)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-call-me-and-say-whos-this/209014/43 "2003-10-23T10:53:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\*Um, what’s wrong with, “Is Sylvia there, please?” in this situation? \*\* I might not be calling Sylvia. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-call-me-and-say-whos-this/209014/44 "2003-10-23T11:02:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kasuo \* > \*\*By the way: shit ass fuck lick \*\* “Lick” is a swear word now? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-call-me-and-say-whos-this/209014/45 "2003-10-23T11:03:49Z")
WILLASS, is stating your number in favour of stating your name in decline in the UK, or is stating aything other than “Hello” in decline? Ah, I just knew the Germans would be with me on this. Hell, they probably invented it, masters of efficiency as they are. Yeah, it’s all cultural. My American girlfriend answers the phone with “Hello” all the time, and I’m fine with it. Yet, it would be _very_ rude if a Dutchman did it to me, even if I know them. Of course, there’s the issue of caller ID these days to add more drama to the mix. ---
**Author:** ![minor7flat5](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/minor7flat5/32/258_2.png) [@minor7flat5](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/minor7flat5)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-call-me-and-say-whos-this/209014/46 "2003-10-23T11:38:09Z")
I believe that this practice is considered acceptible in Brazil, at least in the Rio de Janeiro area. More often than not, when someone from those parts calls my home, they ask “Who’s speaking?” I asked my wife why those folks were so rude and she said that it is quite common. Consequently, when I am in their country, I simply restrain myself from responding rudely – after all, their social norms allow this behavior. However, when a Brazilian friend who lives in the States does this to me, I politely explain this cultural difference. It apparently is not necessarily limited by class, as there is a woman in my church from São Paulo who is definitely from a higher social background than anybody in my wife’s family, and she still did this. One day I calmly explained to her that she was flagrantly violating one of the most fundamental rules of telephone etiquette. She became quite embarrassed and apologized profusely. To this day, she _always_ announces herself as soon as the phone is picked up. ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-call-me-and-say-whos-this/209014/47 "2003-10-23T12:44:59Z")
But the best (or worst) is when I answer my phone at work by saying “_My name_, good morning” (or afternoon, or whatever) and the caller _still_ says “who’s this?” Ye gods and little fishes! If you don’t know who this is after I just told you my name, you need more help than I can possibly provide. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-call-me-and-say-whos-this/209014/48 "2003-10-23T13:17:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > \*\*And of course, all of this could be avoided if you savages answered the phone like the Dutch do, sophisticated as they are. To wit: the person _receiving_ the call identifies themselves, thus clearing up any confusion about wrongly dialed numbers, getting the wrong person from the household on the line, et cetera. The caller then reciprocates, and tells who _he_ is. Barring the instance in which the caller forgets his _own_ name, the conversation can then start immediately without further dicking about to determine whomever the hell is on the other side of the line. \*\* Fuck that shit, we broke away from England so we could distance ourselves from you European weirdos with your bizarro phone habits. We even wrote the Declaration of Bizarro Phone Habit Independence. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-call-me-and-say-whos-this/209014/49 "2003-10-23T13:18:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by scablet \* > \*\*YES. > > I HATE THAT. > > I also hate being greeted with a demand of “…hrurhgrhguhh?? What number is this?!!” Um, the wrong one, apparently, SHIT SPINE. Fuck you. \*\* Thank you for giving me the mental image of a moron using the phone who keeps flopping over because his backbone is made out of feces. Urhrhgrgghg HOOZIS? _flop_ UH UH UH UH GRUCHCHC WOT NUMMER IZISS? _flop_ ---
**Author:** ![cowgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@cowgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cowgirl)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-call-me-and-say-whos-this/209014/50 "2003-10-23T13:25:05Z")
Great rant ! I have thought the same thing many times myself. And I’d like to add a rant of my own: I have a name that is difficult to pronounce. More precisely, it is pronounced exactly the way it is spelled, but since it is unusual and has a lot of vowels, people think “Oh, it _can’t_ be that simple !” and so almost invariably mispronounce it the first time. So, with great regularity, when I pick up the phone I am greeted by some stranger trying to mispronounce my name ! No “Hello.” No “I’m sorry, I don’t know how to pronounce this.” No “Hi, this is so-and-so. Could I please speak to [mispronouncements].” Grr ! ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-call-me-and-say-whos-this/209014/51 "2003-10-23T13:28:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mycroft Holmes \* > \*\*I think all countries should switch to the Italian way of answering the phone: > > “Pronto!!!” > > It just leaves endless possibilities for the rest of the call.\*\* Ah, the Italians love their ambiguities, don’t they? ---
**Author:** ![Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f0a364/32.png) [@Rube\_E.Tewesday](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rube_E.Tewesday)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-call-me-and-say-whos-this/209014/52 "2003-10-23T13:31:02Z")
**Coldie** , when I used to work out of my house, I would answer the phone with my name. People would cheerfully respond “Hello Mr. [nothing like the name I answered with]”. The Dutch must just be smarter than North Americans. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-call-me-and-say-whos-this/209014/53 "2003-10-23T14:07:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by sturmhauke \* > \*\*Fuck that shit, we broke away from England so we could distance ourselves from you European weirdos with your bizarro phone habits. We even wrote the Declaration of Bizarro Phone Habit Independence. \*\* And the person who wrote that declaration could have been just as famous as Thomas Jefferson, provided he _fucking identified who his sorry separatist ass was_. As it is, he’s now known as “Mr. Hello”. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rube E. Tewesday \* > **The Dutch must just be smarter than North Americans.** Tell that to the driver of the silver Saab 93 that _just_ managed to avoid shortening my car a foot or two this morning, when he was too busy text-messaging on his fucking cell phone whilst plummeting towards a traffic jam (in which yours truly was the last vehicle) at 120 km/h. I can assure you the Dutch are just as stupid as any other people on the planet. But we DO have superior phone skills. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-call-me-and-say-whos-this/209014/54 "2003-10-23T14:09:15Z")
My wife thinks I’m weird. Whenever I call someone, I give them my name and the name of the person I’m calling. To wit: “Hello?” “Hello, this is Sauron. I was trying to reach Saruman. Is he there?” My wife thinks this is terribly formal, particularly when calling friends. However, I absolutely **loathe** the pseudo-conversations I have with friends when they call me and don’t identify themselves, occasionally culminating in the wonderful statement “You don’t know who this is, do you?” Well, no, I don’t. However, I would if you’d TOLD ME WHO YOU WERE. ---
**Author:** ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-call-me-and-say-whos-this/209014/55 "2003-10-23T15:32:01Z")
**Coldfire** , I answer the phone with my name at work (except when I answer it “Hi, Mom”, due to the magic of CallerID), but at home, I may not want the caller to know who I am. I don’t ever ask “who’s this” when I call someone, though - that’s just rude. If I recognize the voice, I’ll say “hi, John, this is Elizabeth.” If not, I’ll say “this is Elizabeth, is John available?” Or on a business call where someone just answers with “hello”, “This is Elizabeth Nugent, have I reached Asslickers, Inc.?” ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-call-me-and-say-whos-this/209014/56 "2003-10-23T15:59:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > \*\*And of course, all of this could be avoided if you savages answered the phone like the Dutch do, sophisticated as they are. \*\* If only that were true. I answer the phones at work, “Hi, The humane society, this is Daniel,” in my chipper little voice. Many are the times I get the following response: Caller: [heavy breathing, pregnant pause, then] Who is this? At which point I pause myself, then say very slowly and distinctly, “Humane. Society. This. Is. Daniel.” As often as not, they respond with something like, “Oh. Somebody called me from this number.” Telephones need to have thumbs and forefingers positioned above the earpiece, so that I can press a button on my end and thump people on the forehead, while I shout, “Hello! Hello! Do you not know how to use a telephone, you fool?” Daniel ---
**Author:** ![Palo\_Verde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/65b543/32.png) [@Palo\_Verde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palo_Verde)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-call-me-and-say-whos-this/209014/57 "2003-10-23T16:22:34Z")
I _hate, hate, hate_ it when people don’t identify themselves on the phone and just start talking. My step-brother calls about once a year. He still think that although I haven’t heard his voice in a year, I ought to automatically guess who it is. Drives me nuts! Step-brother: “Hey autz, how’s it going? What are you guys up to these days?” me: “Uuhhhh, who is this?” Step-bro: “Oh, come on autz! Stop playing around! You know who this is! Anyway, I was just at Barton Sprongs and it made me think of you so I called to chat.” Why must we play this game? Granted, I can usually figure out who it is after a while. But that’s mostly because he one of the few people so rude as to not identify himself. ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-call-me-and-say-whos-this/209014/58 "2003-10-23T16:39:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by autz \* > \*\*I _hate, hate, hate_ it when people don’t identify themselves on the phone and just start talking. > . \*\* A-fucking-Men. Unless you are (1) my wife, (2) my mom or (3) my dad…identify yourself when you call me. Although even my mom and dad identify themselves when they call. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-call-me-and-say-whos-this/209014/59 "2003-10-23T17:00:41Z")
How about when you pick up the phone, say “Hello” or whatever, and are met with the faint sound of someone talking to someone else while they wait for you to pick up. A friend of mine does this ALL THE TIME (usually it’s a conversation with her six-year-old). I give her a few seconds and then hang up. When she calls back, and says that was her, I say , “Oh, well the phone rang and I picked it up but nobody was there, so I hung up.” She still hasn’t caught on. If you’re going to call and interrupt me, be ready to state your business when I pick up! * * * When I call someone and hear an unfamiliar voice, I say something like, “I’m sorry, I think I may have the wrong number. I’m trying to reach XXX?” There’s still no excuse for a blunt “Who’s this?” ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2003, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-call-me-and-say-whos-this/209014/60 "2003-10-23T17:37:01Z")
Thanks for this thread. This is one of my pet peeves. “Hello” “Who dis?” “You fucking called me! Who do you think I am?” Seriously, in my world, the onus of identfication is on the caller, not the call-ee. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-call-me-and-say-whos-this/209014.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-call-me-and-say-whos-this/209014.md?page=4)