Deities have always been an invaluable tool in the art of spin doctoring. An early example:
Basic facts-Hunting party from the Oograh tribe stomped by woolly mammoth. Eight killed, one survivior.
Oograh Tribe spin- Survivor: “The Great God Scrote saved me because I always remember to smear aurochs dung on my loin cloth on the third Tuesday of even months.”
Ponglee Tribe spin- “Spornod the Vilifier smote a mighty blow against the unbelieving Ooograhs for their heresy of refusing to apply aurochs dung directly to the skin.”
By the way, how do you know when you’ve chosen the right god? (This question wasn’t initially intended as a joke, but on reflection, punchlines are welcome.)
It seems odd that riding in a trolley on the Sabbath would be a sin, but spending the Holy Day pelting people with rocks isn’t. Shouldn’t these guys be at temple?
Same situation in Northern Ireland, where the Free Presbyterian leader Ian Paisley was recently quoted as saying much along the lines of what this rabbi said. I mean never mind the sectarian attacks taking place in the North every day; I guess he thinks there’s no problem killing Taigs as long as you’re not dancing with them first :rolleyes:
IMHO, if there is a God, she/he would give the racist Rabbi AIDS, along with the pricksmack who built that dance floor out of balsa wood in flagrant violation of the local building codes. :mad:
Talk aboutcher fuckin’ frontier justice. I gotcher fuckin’ frontier justice right heah. Idiot. He gives all the other narrowminded racist awful bastards in the world a bad name.
Wow, where am I? Bob Jones University? Now those are some uptight and scary, scary religious people.
When I visited, the Bible verses about the Water of Life above every water fountain freaked out all of my Hindu friends. We however, found it amusing that if Bob Jones ever uses it’s initials for anything, they’re gonna get some interesting looks. Serves em right.
I think God must reserve a special place in hell for hypocritical and insanely “pious” motherfuckers who claim to work in His name. He can’t like it any better than any of us do.
Maybe roasting on a spit, hm?
And God forbid we dance. Wouldn’t want to show our happiness to the new couple, now would we? Hell, let’s stand around and just look at them instead. Sounds like lots of fun.
Well this would explain Az Hakim’s dropped punt return in last year’s playoff game between St Louis and New Orleans just as the Rams were on the verge of coming back for the win: