# Don't drive like Satan if you have Christian bumper stickers **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 21, 2009, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513 "2009-06-21T22:21:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![SweetLucy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bcef8e/32.png) [@SweetLucy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SweetLucy)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2009, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/1 "2009-06-21T22:21:54Z")
I almost got run off the road by a minivan about half an inch from my rear bumper today, in the right lane of a 3-lane street. When I stopped for a light that was turning red, the minivan swooped around me and ran the light. Guess what the back of the van was plastered with- fish symbols and flag bumper stickers. It seems like the worst drivers around here have similar decorations on their vehicles. I would think that courteous, safe driving is part of good discipleship and good citizenship, but maybe I’m just too idealistic :mad: I have religious and political beliefs, too, but I don’t particularly feel the need to festoon my car with them. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2009, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/2 "2009-06-21T23:14:49Z")
Heh… yes. IMO, _Any_ statement of personal belief, political persuasion, etc, is more likely to do harm than good (to the cause), when applied to a vehicle. People won’t notice it when you’re driving normally and courteously, only when you do something wrong, especially when that _something wrong_ happens to put your tail end in their face (cutting in line, braking erratically, overtaking badly or just failing to be courteous and let someone out of a side street into slow moving traffic). ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2009, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/3 "2009-06-21T23:20:27Z")
You’d think someone had lit an existential fire under their ass or sumptin 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![boytyperanma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4491bb/32.png) [@boytyperanma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boytyperanma)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2009, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/4 "2009-06-21T23:49:18Z")
They obviously are on their way to do something good! Who the hell are you to get in the way of good christian doing something good. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2009, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/5 "2009-06-22T00:08:56Z")
Ha. Good timing. This morning, I was running errands and got cut off by a pickup truck; like he missed by front end by no more than a few inches. He then slammed on his breaks. Going about 15 mph below the limit, he was swerving all over, randomly slamming on his breaks, etc. His bumper sticker? PRAY THE ROSARY EVERY DAY FOR WORLD PEACE No, dicknose: STOP TEXTING WHILE DRIVING TO MAINTAIN WORLD PEACE. ---
**Author:** ![dgrdfd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/eb8c5e/32.png) [@dgrdfd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dgrdfd)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2009, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/6 "2009-06-22T00:25:53Z")
[Not exactly Chrsitian, but funny as heck.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xOO39wyKK4) This is Family Guy discussing Asian drivers. ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2009, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/7 "2009-06-22T00:40:25Z")
I LOVE to honk and honk and honk and honk at people who have the Jesus Fish on their bumper. I never see them fold their hands and pray for a meteor to hit me. They usually just give me the holy finger. OTOH, my behavior doesn’t say much for evolution either… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Runestar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/74df32/32.png) [@Runestar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Runestar)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2009, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/8 "2009-06-22T00:58:09Z")
Here in Indiana, you can get a specialty license plate (as a no-cost option, instead of the standard license plate) with “In God We Trust” on it. I’m sure its anecdotal, but it always seems to me that the worst drivers (i.e., the ones doing the stupid sh\*t) have those plates on their car. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2009, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/9 "2009-06-22T01:08:30Z")
Those “Jesus is my co-pilot” stickers are invariably stuck to the bumpers of people who can’t drive for shit. I always want to roll down the window and yell, “so let his ass drive!” ---
**Author:** ![Daylate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9dc877/32.png) [@Daylate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daylate)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2009, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/10 "2009-06-22T01:31:42Z")
Here in the Seattle area they have a special driving school to help drivers from the neighborhood called Ballard (home to a lot of Scandahoovians). This is a TV advertisement for it. [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBgIvH0tu6Y](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBgIvH0tu6Y) ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2009, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/11 "2009-06-22T01:39:20Z")
> [@Locrian](#): > > I LOVE to honk and honk and honk and honk at people who have the Jesus Fish on their bumper. I never see them fold their hands and pray for a meteor to hit me. They usually just give me the holy finger. > > OTOH, my behavior doesn’t say much for evolution either… 😃 No, it just says you’re a dick. I’ve always wanted (well, if I had a car) to get a Jesus fish, then a little heart, and a Darwin Fish after it. Just to see how people react. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2009, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/12 "2009-06-22T01:40:48Z")
> [@Daylate](#): > > Here in the Seattle area they have a special driving school to help drivers from the neighborhood called Ballard (home to a lot of Scandahoovians). This is a TV advertisement for it. > > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBgIvH0tu6Y](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBgIvH0tu6Y) That was really cute. It has been my notice that people with the jesus stickers on their cars usually have crap tacular cars. Although, there was a brand newish PT Cruiser that my girlfriend and I spied on the road where the driver had professional window decals on the sides and back windows about The BLOOD OF CHRIST YADA YADA YADA SINNERS! REPENT! FIRES OF HELL AWAIT!!! and other words that just told you this person was a complete BUZZKILL at parties. A+ for total commitment to their cause, man. I tried to get a cellphone picture, but it turned out crappy. ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2009, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/13 "2009-06-22T02:56:25Z")
> [@SweetLucy](#): > > I almost got run off the road by a minivan about half an inch from my rear bumper today, in the right lane of a 3-lane street. When I stopped for a light that was turning red, the minivan swooped around me and ran the light. Guess what the back of the van was plastered with- fish symbols and flag bumper stickers. Well, it was obviously your fault for getting between them and their cookies and wine. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2009, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/14 "2009-06-22T03:07:49Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > I’ve always wanted (well, if I had a car) to get a Jesus fish, then a little heart, and a Darwin Fish after it. Just to see how people react. There’s [this.](http://www.evolvefish.com/fish/product563.html) ( “IXOYE” is a [variant of the Christian fish](http://www.ixoye.com/). ) ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2009, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/15 "2009-06-22T03:24:44Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > There’s [this.](http://www.evolvefish.com/fish/product563.html) ( “IXOYE” is a [variant of the Christian fish](http://www.ixoye.com/). ) I really like this one: [IXNAY](http://www.rockinrudys.com/product_info.php?cPath=2209_2833_2670&products_id=25211&sID=5a130c64c50a6dbea03f5d66a38d0530) ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2009, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/16 "2009-06-22T04:11:53Z")
Not that any egregiously bad driving was involved, but I saw a compact car today that had a sign on the driver’s side door reading; **GO JESUS** Hold that line! ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2009, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/17 "2009-06-22T13:23:24Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Heh… yes. IMO, _Any_ statement of personal belief, political persuasion, etc, is more likely to do harm than good (to the cause), when applied to a vehicle. > > People won’t notice it when you’re driving normally and courteously, only when you do something wrong, especially when that _something wrong_ happens to put your tail end in their face (cutting in line, braking erratically, overtaking badly or just failing to be courteous and let someone out of a side street into slow moving traffic). This is why I don’t put bumper stickers on my car. If I’m driving in a way that someone else doesn’t like, it’s better for them to just think I’m an asshole than it is for them to hate a cause that I support. (I do try not to drive badly, but I don’t guarantee that I’m always 100% successful.) ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2009, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/18 "2009-06-22T13:25:37Z")
[![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/4JaZNkjPiHM/hqdefault.jpg "Antsy McClain - I Was Just Flipped Off") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JaZNkjPiHM) (Link to “I Was Just Flipped Off By A Silver-Haired Old Lady With a Honk if You Love Jesus Sticker on the Bumper of Her Car” video by Antsy McClain and the Trailer Park Troubadors) ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2009, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/19 "2009-06-22T13:40:02Z")
Three words: Baby on board. Like I’m supposed to pad my car in bubble wrap because you were too lazy to go to the drugstore one night. ---
**Author:** ![Redwing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/dfb087/32.png) [@Redwing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Redwing)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2009, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/20 "2009-06-22T14:18:26Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Three words: Baby on board. > > Like I’m supposed to pad my car in bubble wrap because you were too lazy to go to the drugstore one night. Ya know, I’ve never taken those signs that way. I’ve always seen them as addressed to rescue workers in case there’s an accident. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513.md?page=2)