# Don't drive like Satan if you have Christian bumper stickers **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 21, 2009, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513 "2009-06-21T22:21:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Rack-a-Bones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rack-a-Bones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rack-a-Bones)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2009, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/41 "2009-06-22T23:38:28Z")
> [@Daylate](#): > > Here in the Seattle area they have a special driving school to help drivers from the neighborhood called Ballard (home to a lot of Scandahoovians). This is a TV advertisement for it. > > [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBgIvH0tu6Y](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBgIvH0tu6Y) Oddvar is my co-pilot That sketch is genius. I miss Almost Live. ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_Door](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@Bill\_Door](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_Door)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2009, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/42 "2009-06-22T23:40:00Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > It’s strange to me that some guy mentions Mexicans not controlling their kids at a restaurant and every single poster calls him racist, yet someone says Christians are bad drivers and everyone goes “Yup. They totally are”. It’s like if someone mentions race, it’s confirmation bias, but if it’s driving…well, it’s their religion, obviously. Please tell me that the clear bias isn’t being mentioned because it’s obvious, not because everyone is actually on board with this idea. Did someone say Christians are bad drivers? All I saw were people who said people with Christian bumper stickers were bad drivers. It’s like me, I never buy a service or product from anyone with a Christian symbol on their advertising. I don’t think Christians are a bunch of sleazy crooks, it’s that those people who think of their religion as a marketing tool are a bunch of sleazy crooks. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2009, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/43 "2009-06-22T23:43:53Z")
[Ah! Here we go!](http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v220/Guinastasia/Excess%20Wallpaper/science_vs__religion_by_rainwalker.jpg?t=1245713940) If you cut the bottom, you’d have a great bumper sticker! ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2009, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/44 "2009-06-22T23:48:36Z")
I agree. Look, I’m a Christian myself, and I’ve noticed the same thing, but I realize that might be because the bad drivers with Christian bumper stickers stay in my mind more than the good drivers who have them. I would also never put a Christian bumper sticker on my car because I, too, do stupid or selfish things when I’m driving sometimes and I’d hate for someone to see them as a reflection on Christians. The closest I’ve come is considering putting both a Christian fish and a Darwin fish on my car, and we don’t have enough Young Earth Creationists around here for it to be worth my while to do it. I could tell a couple of stories about stupid drivers with Christian bumper stickers and I nearly told one about a woman with a pro-life bumper sticker this morning, but, if I want to be fair about it, I should also mention the first time I saw a bumper sticker which read, “I’m for the separation of church and hate” it was on a car in my church’s parking lot. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2009, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/45 "2009-06-24T19:10:55Z")
Most people think most other people are bad drivers. IMO this probably stems from 3 things: -Most people not knowing or understanding most of the rules of the road -Most people not giving a fuck about most of the rules of the road -A lot of guys driving with their dicks instead of their brains > [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](#): > > I really like this one: > [IXNAY](http://www.rockinrudys.com/product_info.php?cPath=2209_2833_2670&products_id=25211&sID=5a130c64c50a6dbea03f5d66a38d0530) I don’t like car adornments but that is really tempting. Hilarious. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2009, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/46 "2009-06-24T20:14:41Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Not that any egregiously bad driving was involved, but I saw a compact car today that had a sign on the driver’s side door reading; > > **GO JESUS** > > Hold that line! That makes me want to put a sign on my car door that says **STOP JESUS** Not sure what it would mean, though. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Charger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df788c/32.png) [@Charger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charger)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2009, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/47 "2009-06-27T00:12:36Z")
I want to grow a beard and put **STOP, JESUS** on my car. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2009, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/48 "2009-06-27T00:41:15Z")
> [@Charger](#): > > I want to grow a beard and put > > **STOP, JESUS** > > on my car. Even better! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Eugene\_of\_Sandwich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c37758/32.png) [@Eugene\_of\_Sandwich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eugene_of_Sandwich)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2009, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/49 "2009-06-27T00:58:01Z")
It makes me feel large to demean people of faith on an internet message board. WHOOPEE! You are sick. ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2009, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/50 "2009-06-27T05:53:34Z")
Then don’t DO that. DUH. I noticed an awful lot of that crap while out on my bicycle, and while i think most people were good about looking out for me, there was always some clown with an obnoxious sticker driving thier douchemobile like a dickhead. My favorite was the purple Ford Escort honking like crazy to get me and my bicycle to turn in front of a garbage truck on a busy US 1 intersection. Garbage trucks DO NOT stop on a dime! Fuck that purple ford, fuck that, fuck them and FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. Leave your house earlier. Put the cellphone, the double cheeseburger and the isopropyl alcohol you drink DOWN and drive like you GIVE a half a shit about conditions around you. ---
**Author:** ![Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Superfluous\_Parentheses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superfluous_Parentheses)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2009, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/51 "2009-06-27T19:06:58Z")
> [@anya\_marie](#): > > Then don’t DO that. DUH. > > I noticed an awful lot of that crap while out on my bicycle… **Don’t mention the B-word in the pit!** ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2009, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/52 "2009-06-28T03:40:45Z")
Bicycle. Bicycle. Bicycle. ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2009, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/53 "2009-06-28T14:38:10Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Three words: Baby on board. I love those signs! Usually when I’m driving I am feeling fairly homicidal…those three little words COMPLETELY change my driving. I want to save the babies. WHAT THE FUCK ARE THOSE SIGNS ABOUT??? Do PARENTS genuinely feel that we all drive like maniacs until we see the baby sign? NEWSFLASH! When I drive my goal is not to kill anyone…your baby has no more importance than any other person I don’t want to crash into. Your obnoxious signs make me seethe with anger, thus distracting my eye from the road. Good work babies! ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2009, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/54 "2009-06-28T14:43:02Z")
> [@calm\_kiwi](#): > > I love those signs! Usually when I’m driving I am feeling fairly homicidal…those three little words COMPLETELY change my driving. I want to save the babies. > > WHAT THE FUCK ARE THOSE SIGNS ABOUT??? Do PARENTS genuinely feel that we all drive like maniacs until we see the baby sign? > > NEWSFLASH! When I drive my goal is not to kill anyone…your baby has no more importance than any other person I don’t want to crash into. > > Your obnoxious signs make me seethe with anger, thus distracting my eye from the road. > > Good work babies! Do you really still see a lot of these? Maybe it’s a regional thing. I haven’t seen one around here in a long time. They were a big fad in the 80s/90s – I vaguely remember that supposedly they were to let emergency workers know there was an infant in the car if, say, your car was on fire or sinking in a lake or something. Then there was a trend for a while of ironic backlash stickers, e.g. “Trekkie on Board,” “Mother-in-Law in Trunk,” etc. Now they seem to be pretty much gone. ---
**Author:** ![calm\_kiwi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc348/32.png) [@calm\_kiwi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/calm_kiwi)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2009, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/55 "2009-06-28T14:49:03Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > Do you really still see a lot of these? Maybe it’s a regional thing. I haven’t seen one around here in a long time. They were a big fad in the 80s/90s Maybe it is a regional thing but there is no shortage of them and I will never understand the logic of them…outside of fires and sinking in lakes obviously. ---
**Author:** ![Mariemarie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/58f4c7/32.png) [@Mariemarie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mariemarie)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2009, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/56 "2009-06-28T14:53:05Z")
I met a man from England who said he found these bumperstickers amusing and confusing when he first moved to the US because “honk” meant “vomit” where he came from. 😕 That creep can roll. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2009, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/57 "2009-06-28T15:09:43Z")
> [@calm\_kiwi](#): > > Maybe it is a regional thing but there is no shortage of them and I will never understand the logic of them…outside of fires and sinking in lakes obviously. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I’ve always thought they were completely silly even for their supposed original purpose. I mean, are most people really that concerned about their car catching on fire or sinking in a lake? And even if that did happen, what are the odds that a rescue worker would see the little “Baby on Board” sign and think, “What?! A baby! Boy, now I really better try to put this fire out/save those drowning people.” It was just a bit of silliness. ---
**Author:** ![Strinka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/strinka/32/512_2.png) [@Strinka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strinka)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2009, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/58 "2009-06-28T16:54:57Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > And even if that did happen, what are the odds that a rescue worker would see the little “Baby on Board” sign and think, “What?! A baby! Boy, now I really better try to put this fire out/save those drowning people.” It was just a bit of silliness. I don’t think that’s the idea. I think the idea is that babies are small and easily obscured. The rescue worker can easy see, and know to rescue adults in the car. But if there’s smoke or if things got tossed around in a crash, and something is on top of a baby, the rescue worker won’t be able to see the baby, and so won’t know that there is a baby that needs to be rescued. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2009, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/59 "2009-06-28T17:03:50Z")
> [@SweetLucy](#): > > I almost got run off the road by a minivan about half an inch from my rear bumper today, in the right lane of a 3-lane street. When I stopped for a light that was turning red, the minivan swooped around me and ran the light. Guess what the back of the van was plastered with- fish symbols and flag bumper stickers. It seems like the worst drivers around here have similar decorations on their vehicles. I would think that courteous, safe driving is part of good discipleship and good citizenship, but maybe I’m just too idealistic :mad: > > I have religious and political beliefs, too, but I don’t particularly feel the need to festoon my car with them. That reminds me of a Mad Magazine cartoon from when I was a kid. Some people are stuck in traffic, and they see a bumper sticker that says, “Honk if you love Jesus.”, and they are charmed and moved by it, so they honk. The driver of the truck in front of them leans out the window. “If you want to pass, pass, but layoff the goddamn horn!” ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2009, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513/60 "2009-06-28T17:54:53Z")
> [@Chessic\_Sense](#): > > It’s strange to me that some guy mentions Mexicans not controlling their kids at a restaurant and every single poster calls him racist, yet someone says Christians are bad drivers and everyone goes “Yup. They totally are”. It’s like if someone mentions race, it’s confirmation bias, but if it’s driving…well, it’s their religion, obviously. Please tell me that the clear bias isn’t being mentioned because it’s obvious, not because everyone is actually on board with this idea. Well, part of it is that one has no control over one’s ethnicity or country of origin, and the color of your skin has dick all to do with how you behave. But you _do_ have control over what you choose to believe, and your beliefs _do_ have an impact on your behavior. And nobody said all Christians are bad drivers. In fact, I’d say nobody said _any_ Christians are bad drivers, because people who feel the constant need to tell you how very Christian they are (ie, plaster the car with such stickers) typically don’t have the first scrap of true Christianity in 'em. They typically fall within that subset of people who claim to be Christians and thus think anything they do, no matter how far outside Christ’s teachings it may be, is just fine because they’ve been WASHED IN THE BLOOD, you heathen. It is typically very, very important to this subset that everybody in the free world know they’ve been WASHED IN THE BLOOD, because that’s what makes their behavior okay. I mean, if they’re not WASHED IN THE BLOOD and thus forgiven anything, then they’d just be assholes. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-satan-if-you-have-christian-bumper-stickers/500513.md?page=4)