# Don't drive like the moron I saw! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 18, 2012, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-the-moron-i-saw/622359 "2012-05-18T20:12:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![tumbleddown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@tumbleddown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tumbleddown)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-the-moron-i-saw/622359/21 "2012-05-19T22:02:42Z")
Last week I was in that sort of stop-and-go highway traffic where you aren’t stopped still but never go much fast than 15 or 20 miles an hour. The car beside me was having a hard time staying in its lane, which shouldn’t have been difficult at those speeds. When I was finally able to pass the guy, I looked over, and he was _reading a magazine_ as he drove. Just casual, commuting home at the end of a day, hmm, I’m bored in this midst of this rush hour traffic, where’s that Newsweek… > [@Anne\_Neville](#): > > This idiot was trying to get onto the 376 where it takes you out of my neighborhood. _The_ 376? You’re from Southern California, aren’t you Anne? You’re definitely not a local because Pittsburghers never call that road by the number, but pretty sure only LA-area folks put a “the” in front of an interstate number. ---
**Author:** ![Kenm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bc79bd/32.png) [@Kenm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kenm)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2012, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-the-moron-i-saw/622359/22 "2012-05-19T22:11:45Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > They should have a cop car following ambulances and fire trucks, just to hand out incredibly expensive tickets to these assholes. But there should be check boxes on the tickets denoting the emergency, with diminishing fines as the list grows longer. Derailment Auto Collision Fire Medical √ Doughnuts ---
**Author:** ![mcgato](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac8455/32.png) [@mcgato](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mcgato)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2012, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-the-moron-i-saw/622359/23 "2012-05-20T11:57:04Z")
Years ago I was driving between Miami and Fort Lauderdale on I-95 right around dusk. I’m generally pretty aware of my surroundings, but I checked my rear view mirror and a Corvette was pretty much up my ass. I quickly get out of the way, and the idiot accelerates to about 100 mph. I can see him weaving through fairly heavy traffic up ahead. Then as he quickly approached a car in the center lane, both he and the car made a move for the right lane. The car was either unaware of the Corvette or more probably wanting to avoid the Corvette. The Corvette avoided a collision by taking a hard right, going down a small slope, and into the wooded area next to the road. I could see the headlights going up and down as it bumped its way to a stop. Served him right. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2012, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-the-moron-i-saw/622359/24 "2012-05-21T13:00:36Z")
> [@tumbleddown](#): > > _The_ 376? You’re from Southern California, aren’t you Anne? You’re definitely not a local because Pittsburghers never call that road by the number, but pretty sure only LA-area folks put a “the” in front of an interstate number. I lived in CA long enough for it to rub off… I call that road many things, most of which are fit only for the Pit. ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2012, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-the-moron-i-saw/622359/25 "2012-05-21T13:23:54Z")
Oooh, I got one. Saw this while riding a bus from the university where I was teaching into downtown Ankara. Moron A cut off Moron B on a four-lane highway. Moron B speeds up, gets ahead of Moron A, and brakes hard. Once they are both stopped, Moron B gets out of the car, goes back to A’s car, and _kicks the driver’s side mirror off_. Again, all in the middle of a busy four-lane metropolitan highway. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2012, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-the-moron-i-saw/622359/26 "2012-05-21T14:08:29Z")
Anybody who backs up on a highway should not just be ticketed but hauled out of the car and bitch-slapped in front of everyone on the road. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2012, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-the-moron-i-saw/622359/27 "2012-05-21T14:40:04Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Anybody who backs up on a highway should not just be ticketed but hauled out of the car and bitch-slapped in front of everyone on the road. Actually, that means it’s time to seriously consider taking away their driver’s license. If you think backing up on a freeway is an acceptable thing to do, then clearly you Don’t Get It to a level where you are endangering yourself and others. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2012, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-the-moron-i-saw/622359/28 "2012-05-21T14:49:06Z")
> [@Anne\_Neville](#): > > Actually, that means it’s time to seriously consider taking away their driver’s license. If you think backing up on a freeway is an acceptable thing to do, then clearly you Don’t Get It to a level where you are endangering yourself and others. Well, that too. I like my bitch slapping idea though. ---
**Author:** ![Folacin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folacin/32/3195_2.png) [@Folacin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folacin)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2012, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-the-moron-i-saw/622359/29 "2012-05-21T21:02:16Z")
> [@Anne\_Neville](#): > > Actually, that means it’s time to seriously consider taking away their driver’s license. If you think backing up on a freeway is an acceptable thing to do, then clearly you Don’t Get It to a level where you are endangering yourself and others. > [@Anaamika](#): > > Well, that too. I like my bitch slapping idea though. Some from column A, some from column B. Double jeopardy laws don’t restrict us to a single punishment. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-the-moron-i-saw/622359/30 "2012-05-22T03:18:11Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > I got passed on the freeway by a motorcyclist with no helmet who was talking on the cell phone. In order to hear, he was facing his left with the cellphone in his left hand, steering with one hand and not watching where he was going. And, of course, speeding. > > I took my foot off the gas and let him get a loooooonnnnng way ahead of me. Okay, I hear & understand the arguments for not wearing a helmet; I like the wind in my hair, they’re hot, they’re heavy, it’ll mess up my 'do, etc. The real idjuts are the ones, typically on crotch rockets, not wearing a helmet; is it because they can’t afford it? No, they own one & it’s right behind them, strapped onto the side of the bike. They’re not saving any weight, because they’re carrying it with them. With it strapped to the side, it’s probably aerodynamically _in_efficient, too. They are the biggest morons! Note that I didn’t say I bought the arguments, just heard & understood what they were saying ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-the-moron-i-saw/622359/31 "2012-05-22T03:34:43Z")
> [@tumbleddown](#): > > …pretty sure only LA-area folks put a “the” in front of an interstate number. “The” is also used by people from Southern Ontario: “the 405”, “the 401”, etc. Itt’s mostly used for freeway numbers, though, and there aren’t that many of them. Otherwise, we say “Highway 7” or “regional road 7” or just “7”. ---
**Author:** ![ryobserver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b2d939/32.png) [@ryobserver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ryobserver)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-the-moron-i-saw/622359/32 "2012-05-22T23:01:48Z")
Monday morning this week, I saw a bright red Mini Cooper, looking a bit like a squared-off tomato, moving down Walnut Street in central Philadelphia. A pretty eye-catching car. So probably NOT the car to choose if you needed to eat breakfast on the way to work! The driver had a paper plate in her left hand and a fork in her right, munching away, steering with her knees, or the power of her faith, or who knows what. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-the-moron-i-saw/622359/33 "2012-05-22T23:14:11Z")
From the other day. Facts. I am on the interstate. Bad driver is on the on ramp. The on ramp is very long. As I crest the overpass I can see the BD is halfway down this ramp way ahead of me. I am doing 65. The driver is ahead of me until the very end of the ramp. At which point we are at the same place at the same time, side by side. Except I am doing 65 and they still haven’t managed to get their couple year old many hundreds of HP land yatch up to 55 yet. In the old days I was able to get my gutless 36 hp VW bug up to interstate speeds by the time I reached the end of that very ramp. Your damn car can do better than that I am sure. Use the freaking gas pedal you dumbass! Hint, if you are ahead of me the whole time while you are on the ramp and accelerating if you actually get up interstate speeds at the end you will actually be able to merge into traffic ahead of me (where its clear) and not BEHIND me, where traffic is piled up because I am going a bit under the speed limit due to bad weather, driving a big rig, and some other dumbass is passing me on the left at 0.1 mph faster than I am going so I can’t get over to the left. ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2012, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-the-moron-i-saw/622359/34 "2012-05-22T23:45:21Z")
> [@ryobserver](#): > > Monday morning this week, I saw a bright red Mini Cooper, looking a bit like a squared-off tomato, moving down Walnut Street in central Philadelphia. A pretty eye-catching car. > > So probably NOT the car to choose if you needed to eat breakfast on the way to work! The driver had a paper plate in her left hand and a fork in her right, munching away, steering with her knees, or the power of her faith, or who knows what. Did it look like this? [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pb2D8wX1fa8](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pb2D8wX1fa8) ---
**Author:** ![gwendee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/35a633/32.png) [@gwendee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gwendee)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2012, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-the-moron-i-saw/622359/35 "2012-05-23T14:54:56Z")
My shop looks out over a busy “Main Street” type road. It’s a mix of commercial and residential with a posted but entirely unobserved speed limit of 45. There isn’t time or space enough to list all of the idiocy I’ve seen. I hear accidents at least once a month. Fortunately most of the accidents are just fender benders without any people being injured. Almost daily I see someone making a boneheaded U-turn. Most recently I saw a woman brake hard, then reverse for about 30 yards and then drive the wrong way into the exit only driveway of the bank across the street. It’s a small miracle she didn’t collide with the driver coming around from the back of the bank. There’s also a traffic circle between home and work, which would be hardly worth mentioning if people would just follow the lines and take their turns. But alas… ---
**Author:** ![Faruiza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Faruiza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faruiza)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2012, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-the-moron-i-saw/622359/36 "2012-05-28T22:13:03Z")
Oh hell. Traffic circles. We just got two new ones uptown here, and it’s the most goddamned idiotic thing for our worthless city council to have done. Traffic circles are a great idea where 1. There is heavy traffic and circles actually DO something to speed up traffic flow. 2. In a part of the world/country that you would see such a thing routinely. 3. The median age of the drivers in said area is not older than Methuselah and hip enough to learn new things WITHOUT ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2012, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-the-moron-i-saw/622359/37 "2012-05-28T22:19:29Z")
> [@gwendee](#): > > I hear accidents at least once a month. Hearing accidents is in some ways worse than seeing them because you don’t know when the crash is going to be. I used to live a couple blocks from [this intersection](http://maps.google.com/?ll=27.331039,-82.538647&spn=0.001546,0.002068&t=m&z=19) and every couple months in the middle of the night I’d hear a huge squeal of tires. Fortunately the squeal usually just petered out, but several times the squeal would stop, followed after a quarter second by a crash! (They had evidently been _almost_ able to stop themselves from a crash.) ---
**Author:** ![Faruiza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Faruiza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faruiza)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2012, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-the-moron-i-saw/622359/38 "2012-05-28T22:20:27Z")
Oh hell. Traffic circles. We just got two new ones uptown here, and it’s the most goddamned idiotic thing for our worthless city council to have done. Traffic circles are a great idea where 1. There is heavy traffic and circles actually DO something to speed up traffic flow. 2. In a part of the world/country that you would see such a thing routinely. 3. The median age of the drivers in said area is not older than Methuselah and hip enough to learn new things WITHOUT having a meltdown and endangering people who are using them correctly. That’s along with a whole string of projects that look like they were designed by retarded monkeys with a heavy crack problem. Backwards slanted parking spaces…pouring hundreds of thousands of dollars into an area that needs more economic development than aesthetic improvements…seriously, the amount of empty storefronts in this town is astonishing, and they just keep building more strip malls that sit empty. But I digress. Traffic circles. Bah. Missed edit window. Premature Enterjaculation. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2012, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-the-moron-i-saw/622359/39 "2012-05-28T22:54:23Z")
Last night coming home from a friends house, I almost got hit 3 times in about 1 minute. Scene last night, freeway approaching the last exit for about 3 miles. I am in the #3 lane (3rd from the left) at about 70 MPH minding my own business. Idgit #1 in lane 4 going about 50 MPH makes a lane change to the #3 lane right in front of me. ABS, horn, high beams. Down to 50. Grrr. No reason to idgit to change lanes. So I move one lane to the right (safely I might add) and try to accelerate back to speed. I get to about 65 and encounter idgit #2. He is in the #2 lane and has decided that because he can see brake lights ahead he needs to make the off ramp that is about 100 feet in front of him. He jams on the brakes and makes a right turn. He crosses the #3 lane and gets into the #4 lane (mine) I am now looking at the right side of a Toyota Highlander. Full ABS stand car on its nose, horn and lights. I got to within 1 car length before Idgit #2 swerves back into the #3 lane, I let off the brakes and then he swerves BACK into my lane. ABS, horn and lights again. Apparently idgit #2 is a slow learner. ---
**Author:** ![Scubaqueen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@Scubaqueen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scubaqueen)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2012, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-the-moron-i-saw/622359/40 "2012-05-29T16:09:08Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > I was on the 8 here in San Diego earlier this week, and the car in front of me was wandering in his lane, and almost drifting into the next lane. > > I pulled a couple of lanes over to make sure i was well clear of him, and when i passed him i could see that he was looking at himself in the rearview mirror and shaving with an electric shaver. I can top that. I’m crusing along, southbound on Indiana SR 37 heading to downtown Indianapolis one morning. I’m in the right lane, minding my own business, when a car pulls abreast of me in the passing lane. It’s so perfectly matching my speed, I look over just to be sure all is copacetic. Um, not exactly. The woman behind the wheel is putting on mascara using her rearview mirror. That’s with her right hand. In her left is her cell phone!! :eek: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-the-moron-i-saw/622359.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-drive-like-the-moron-i-saw/622359.md?page=3)