# Don't FUCK with my pencils! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 18, 2002, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-fuck-with-my-pencils/143551 "2002-12-18T14:27:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![KarmaComa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e36b37/32.png) [@KarmaComa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarmaComa)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-fuck-with-my-pencils/143551/1 "2002-12-18T14:27:40Z")
When a math geek lends you his penultimate pencil during exams, do not fuck it up! Please realize that people like me are extremely particular about the kind of pencil we use: Bic, .7, 2B, WITHOUT A FUCKING LOPSIDED ERASER! It’s bad enough that I had to go hunting around your desk to find it, after searching my pseudocubicle high and low! The eraser’s main surface now holds an angle of less than 2 radians to the axis of the pencil! Please respect the fact that during exams, I work in 20 hour stretches, and this makes me particularly sensitive about having to adapt my modus operandi in any way! _Furiously rubs eraser down to a decent angle before final begins_ Surely there are one or two geeks out there who appreciate my feelings! ---
**Author:** ![Enki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b5ac83/32.png) [@Enki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enki)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-fuck-with-my-pencils/143551/2 "2002-12-18T14:38:46Z")
Probably. But I bet they don’t lend out their prize pencils. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_Wright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Steve\_Wright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_Wright)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-fuck-with-my-pencils/143551/3 "2002-12-18T16:01:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KarmaComa \* > \*\*… people like me are extremely particular about the kind of pencil we use: Bic, .7, 2B … \*\* [Spike Milligan]"You could be a Hamlet pencil, 2B or not 2B … " [/Spike Milligan] I’ll get me coat. ---
**Author:** ![KarmaComa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e36b37/32.png) [@KarmaComa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarmaComa)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-fuck-with-my-pencils/143551/4 "2002-12-18T16:10:53Z")
Well HB is acceptable for .7, but absolutely not .5! And for chrissake, the pencil’s got to have some give to it… not like those terrible Zebras. ---
**Author:** ![ElwoodCuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/edb3f5/32.png) [@ElwoodCuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElwoodCuse)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-fuck-with-my-pencils/143551/5 "2002-12-18T16:19:10Z")
“Wow, you’ve got your name on your pencils! Just like a pencil company executive!” (grabbing it back) “Yes. Well, any office supply company can have them made up…” “Can I have this one?” “No.” “Can…_Lenny_ have this one?” ---
**Author:** ![KarmaComa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e36b37/32.png) [@KarmaComa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarmaComa)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-fuck-with-my-pencils/143551/6 "2002-12-18T16:25:04Z")
Oh no! I think I’ve been Grimed! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-fuck-with-my-pencils/143551/7 "2002-12-18T16:59:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Steve Wright \* > \*\*[Spike Milligan]"You could be a Hamlet pencil, 2B or not 2B … " [/Spike Milligan] > I’ll get me coat. \*\* or, in the case of the eraser, “Ay, there’s the rub…” ---
**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-fuck-with-my-pencils/143551/8 "2002-12-18T17:03:59Z")
[Bruce McCullough] “My pen! You’ve…got…my…PEN!!” [/Bruce McCullough] ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-fuck-with-my-pencils/143551/9 "2002-12-18T22:30:06Z")
You’re complaining about asymmetry? I once had a co-worker who used the eraser-end of the pencils on _my_ desk to _clean her fucking ears_. I had no idea what was going on, for a while… the erasers just didn’t seem to work until you rubbed them down a bit. Then I found a “fresh” one. Then I caught her in the act. Subhuman. That being said, I only opened this thread because I was hoping it contained scenes of graphite sexuality. ---
**Author:** ![Skerri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Skerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skerri)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-fuck-with-my-pencils/143551/10 "2002-12-18T23:00:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KarmaComa \* > \*\*… not like those terrible Zebras. \*\* HEY! You leave **Zebra** out of this! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-fuck-with-my-pencils/143551/11 "2002-12-18T23:12:53Z")
Wouldn’t that cause lead poisoning? ---
**Author:** ![Slacker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@Slacker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slacker)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-fuck-with-my-pencils/143551/12 "2002-12-18T23:27:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KarmaComa \* > **When a math geek lends you his penultimate pencil during exams, do not fuck it up!** Hey, it’s tha [H-Dog](http://www.theonion.com/archive/archive_kornfeld.html)! ---
**Author:** ![leechbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-fuck-with-my-pencils/143551/13 "2002-12-18T23:31:08Z")
I recommend suitable punishment which may include but is not limited to the following: - Cover them in burning pitch - Boil the offender in hot oil - Force him/her to listen to New Kids on the Block for 24 hours - Request they be hung drawn and quartered asap In the meantime learn from this valuable lesson and never lend your pencils again. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![KarmaComa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e36b37/32.png) [@KarmaComa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarmaComa)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2002, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-fuck-with-my-pencils/143551/14 "2002-12-19T00:27:59Z")
Ugh… I swapped the eraser with a straight one from an old pencil… but it didn’t help me! That was the hardest fucking exam I’ve ever written in my entire life.