# Don't get it? Slap a label on it. (mild) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 27, 2005, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-it-slap-a-label-on-it-mild/286949 "2005-01-27T17:37:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Time\_Like\_Tears](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df705f/32.png) [@Time\_Like\_Tears](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Time_Like_Tears)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-it-slap-a-label-on-it-mild/286949/1 "2005-01-27T17:37:10Z")
Been reading around the Dope today. Been sensing a lot of tension and frustration in a few spots. NOT going to rehash it here, but there’s one thing that prevails in so many discussions. What happened to humans that make us crave labels for everything? Every trait, every action, every lifestyle has to have a damn label. What, exactly, is wrong with accepting another person for who and what they are, instead of what some label generalizes them into? To me, labeling is roughly equivalent to prejudice. It causes no end of hurt feelings and missed opportunities. We’re all guilty of it, and at some point, it has or will affect us all negatively. Labels create assumptions. We all know what they say about those… It’s just silly to assume that as a political centrist, that I won’t have anything in common with a Republican. It’s silly to assume that as a gay man, my friend Rocky is a Cher fan and is out to corrupt your sons. It’s ridiculous to assume that as a jock, my friend Jon is a meathead with nothing on his mind but sex and football. It’s ludicrous to assume that as a goth, my cousin Liza is depressed and suicidal and likes to mutilate small animals. Labels lend names to stereotypes and judgement. It’s not description, it’s pigeonholing. The first thing out of some folks’ mouths when describing someone tends to be a label. “Oh, you should meet my friend Kasey, she’s a lesbian, but I think you would get along.” “You and my geek friend should hook up sometime.” I hear this crap every day. Oy, I am rambling. I do have a suggestion. Why not switch to adjectives? I’ll even give examples… “She’s very intelligent.” “He’s gorgeous!” “He has a great sense of humor.” “She’s very well-read.” “He’s talented.” It boils down to this; be ye gay, geeky, butch, trans-something, boy, girl, gothy, punky, liberal, conservative, fundamental, secular, orthodox, Christian, Jedi, whatever… …aren’t we all just humans, deserving of, at the very least, the respect required to find out _who_ we are before deciding _what_ we are? **Sarah** is the only label I want to be known by. ---
**Author:** ![JSexton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/96bed5/32.png) [@JSexton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JSexton)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-it-slap-a-label-on-it-mild/286949/2 "2005-01-27T17:45:05Z")
“She’s very intelligent.” “She’s a brain.” “He’s gorgeous!” “He’s a hottie!” “He has a great sense of humor.” “He’s the class clown.” “She’s very well-read.” “What a bookworm!” How are labels different from adjectives? Aren’t they both descriptors of aspects of a person? Yes, they can have connotations (positive and negative) but so can adjectives. A labels tells me certain things. It’s still up to me to decide how those things apply to each case. “You and my geek friend should hook up sometime.” Would it really be better if they said “You and my friend should hook up sometime. He’s into comic books and gaming.”? Same message, with and without “label”. ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-it-slap-a-label-on-it-mild/286949/3 "2005-01-27T17:53:32Z")
Long reply: Labels aren’t the problem. It’s the people who assume that a label is a complete descriptor and refuse to acknowledge evidence to the contrary. Short reply: Blame the morons, cause they’re the ones you’re really pissed at. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-it-slap-a-label-on-it-mild/286949/4 "2005-01-27T17:58:06Z")
I want to be Jedi. Are labels bad, if you don’t limit yourself or others with them? ---
**Author:** ![Early\_Out](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Early\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Early_Out)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-it-slap-a-label-on-it-mild/286949/5 "2005-01-27T18:08:10Z")
Obviously, **Time Like Tears** is [a Bliss Ninny](http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/warriorshtm/blissninny.htm). That’s all we need to know about her. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-it-slap-a-label-on-it-mild/286949/6 "2005-01-27T18:08:13Z")
Ah, you’re just one of those people who hates labels. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-it-slap-a-label-on-it-mild/286949/7 "2005-01-27T18:13:00Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Ah, you’re just one of those people who hates labels. Is there a label for that? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-it-slap-a-label-on-it-mild/286949/8 "2005-01-27T18:17:12Z")
> [@](#): > > . . . crave labels for everything . . . I’ve heard it’s called the Rumplestiltskin syndrome. ---
**Author:** ![Time\_Like\_Tears](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df705f/32.png) [@Time\_Like\_Tears](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Time_Like_Tears)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-it-slap-a-label-on-it-mild/286949/9 "2005-01-27T18:31:51Z")
What **ultrafilter** said. My thoughts just didn’t give me words to type what I meant. I could give a shit less if we ‘all get along’. In the name of fighting ignorance, though, I get sick of the assumptions made by people who think a label tells them all they need to know about something. What’s the point in having a diverse group of people get together to have discussions if we discount someone’s experience or ideas because they’re part of a group we aren’t? I was really trying to dance around the transgender topic that’s been so hot here lately, without bringing it up yet again. I was getting annoyed by the insistence of some that an individual must be called either male or female. I personally don’t care; to me, you’re a person before you’re either. These thoughts led to the pondering of annoyance of a much broader scope and equally pittable, to me. Maybe labels isn’t even the word I was looking for, given **JSexton** ’s reply, but for the life of me, I can’t think of a better one right now. I’d just rather hear about what makes someone unique, rather than what makes them the same. ---
**Author:** ![Rashak\_Mani](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@Rashak\_Mani](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rashak_Mani)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-it-slap-a-label-on-it-mild/286949/10 "2005-01-27T18:32:20Z")
> [@ultrafilter](#): > > Short reply: Blame the morons, cause they’re the ones you’re really pissed at. Oh oh… more labels ! :smack: (i agree with you actually) I think labels are a means of quickly transmitting information and defining things. When you say “Goth girl” we understand perfectly what you mean. The problem is when labels go beyond that. Even just names may be labels: Sarah McDonald = she is scottish Sarah Suarez = she is latino Sarah Zulu Brown = she is black ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-it-slap-a-label-on-it-mild/286949/11 "2005-01-27T18:35:50Z")
> [@Time Like Tears](#): > > Maybe labels isn’t even the word I was looking for, given **JSexton** ’s reply, but for the life of me, I can’t think of a better one right now. Stereotype. ---
**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-it-slap-a-label-on-it-mild/286949/12 "2005-01-27T18:44:14Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Ah, you’re just one of those people who hates labels. There’s two kinds of people in the world: those that hate labels, and fascists. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Time\_Like\_Tears](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df705f/32.png) [@Time\_Like\_Tears](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Time_Like_Tears)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-it-slap-a-label-on-it-mild/286949/13 "2005-01-27T18:45:15Z")
Actually, I am closer to [this](http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/warriorshtm/perv.htm). Shhh, don’t tell anyone. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-it-slap-a-label-on-it-mild/286949/14 "2005-01-27T19:03:54Z")
Actually, if I might say… the right label can be empowering to some people. In times of political turmoil, it can provide a flag to rally round; a way to turn a diaspora of isolated deviants into a movement, a community, a nation. Or, if nothing else, it can be comforting to put a name on something that worries you. For a long time, I wondered about what it was that was so troubling to me with regard to my gender. Am I somehow a tiny bit trans? I don’t think so… Or am I just a bloke of a different colour? But if that’s true, why is it so important to me? Finally, I tripped over the word _genderqueer_ and it was an amazing relief: not just “a little different,” not so far as “trans…” It’s still in its shakedown period, but it looks promising, and it’s nice to have a nice, succinct way to refer to myself. ---
**Author:** ![Time\_Like\_Tears](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df705f/32.png) [@Time\_Like\_Tears](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Time_Like_Tears)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-it-slap-a-label-on-it-mild/286949/15 "2005-01-27T19:33:01Z")
**matt\_mcl** , I totally respect that, and it really isn’t that type of label I was referring to. Stereotype really isn’t quite it, either, though it may be closer. I see stereotypes as more about the ideas behind the labels. Maybe I need to qualify it to ‘negative connotations people insist on tacking to certain labels’. That just takes a long time to type. I cannot and won’t even try to say I am not guilty of doing this at times, but dammit, I am trying to stop it. I have had my feelings hurt enough times by the ‘overweight’ label (she must be a lazy slob) the ‘freak’ label (we’ve decided to offer this position to someone without tattoos) the ‘tomboy’ label (you don’t wear makeup and dress like a boy - you must be a dyke [from my mom]). I try hard not to inflict that kind of judgement on anyone else. Maybe I’ll get around to finishing my OP this time…ya’ll will have to forgive me as I’ve been up for 26 hours. What I’m really trying to say is that gosh darn, I hate it when people find out one little word of a characteristic about someone, and base all further opinions and reactions to that someone on it. She’s a \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ so she must \_\_\_\_\_\_\_. Am I making any sense yet? ---
**Author:** ![SusanStoHelit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@SusanStoHelit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SusanStoHelit)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-it-slap-a-label-on-it-mild/286949/16 "2005-01-27T19:55:11Z")
> [@Time Like Tears](#): > > I have had my feelings hurt enough times by the ‘overweight’ label (she must be a lazy slob) the ‘freak’ label (we’ve decided to offer this position to someone without tattoos) the ‘tomboy’ label (you don’t wear makeup and dress like a boy - you must be a dyke [from my mom])… [Snip] > > What I’m really trying to say is that gosh darn, I hate it when people find out one little word of a characteristic about someone, and base all further opinions and reactions to that someone on it. She’s a \_\_\_\_\_\_\_ so she must \_\_\_\_\_\_\_. Am I making any sense yet? I get you. Some labels are inherently hurtful, while others are so full of connotations and baggage that we either have to invent new terms (ie “progressive” for “liberal”) or tap-dance verbal circles around the old term (I’m “spiritual” but not “religious” or “I’m a Christian, but I’m not insane about it,” etc). What can I say? Communication sucks. We should stick to pre-verbal pointing and grunting. ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-it-slap-a-label-on-it-mild/286949/17 "2005-01-27T19:58:10Z")
I hate labelers. They’re all the same. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-it-slap-a-label-on-it-mild/286949/18 "2005-01-27T20:13:05Z")
> [@Time Like Tears](#): > > I could give a shit less if we ‘all get along’. In the name of fighting ignorance, though, I get sick of the assumptions made by people who think a label tells them all they need to know about something. What’s the point in having a diverse group of people get together to have discussions if we discount someone’s experience or ideas because they’re part of a group we aren’t? > > I was really trying to dance around the transgender topic that’s been so hot here lately, without bringing it up yet again. I was getting annoyed by the insistence of some that an individual must be called either male or female. I personally don’t care; to me, you’re a person before you’re either. These thoughts led to the pondering of annoyance of a much broader scope and equally pittable, to me. I’m with you. **Eve** and **gobear** are talking about leaving due to this label crap. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-it-slap-a-label-on-it-mild/286949/19 "2005-01-27T20:24:32Z")
> [@Time Like Tears](#): > > Actually, I am closer to [this](http://redwing.hutman.net/~mreed/warriorshtm/perv.htm). Shhh, don’t tell anyone. Navy slacks Light blue shirt Long silk underwear underneath (it’s cold outside and inside today) ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-it-slap-a-label-on-it-mild/286949/20 "2005-01-27T20:34:52Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > Or am I just a bloke of a different **colour**? Sheesh. Fucking Canadians. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-it-slap-a-label-on-it-mild/286949.md?page=2)