# Don't get left with the crummy ones! Reserve YOUR personal invaded country today! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 26, 2002, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-left-with-the-crummy-ones-reserve-your-personal-invaded-country-today/100154 "2002-03-26T07:11:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Daowajan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@Daowajan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daowajan)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2002, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-left-with-the-crummy-ones-reserve-your-personal-invaded-country-today/100154/1 "2002-03-26T07:11:48Z")
There have been a lot of invasion threads recently. Since Dopers always know things I don’t, I can only assume that the world is embroiled in a huge game of Risk that’s about to get real interesting real fast. In the next few weeks, foreign tanks will be rolling through every country on this earth. The political power of the world will see a drastic restructuring. Don’t miss out on these tumultuous times! Have you ever wanted a country of your very own? Ever looked at another country and wished “Man, I wish I could run that place!” Even if you never have, it’s surprisingly easy to set up a shadow government and spend your life happily living on the backs of the workers! In fact, it’s so easy we sell tutorials for beginners! This is NOT one of those wacky infomercial scams! You’ll be missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime - the chance to OWN YOUR OWN COUNTRY! You need not even speak the language or have any formal ties to the country of your choice! The SKY’S THE LIMIT, folks! Reserve your country today! The good ones always go first and it’s first come first serve! (I claim Japan.) ---
**Author:** ![Big\_Kahuna\_Burger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Big\_Kahuna\_Burger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Big_Kahuna_Burger)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2002, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-left-with-the-crummy-ones-reserve-your-personal-invaded-country-today/100154/2 "2002-03-26T07:13:52Z")
I call Canada. Maple syrup monopoly is nice. ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2002, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-left-with-the-crummy-ones-reserve-your-personal-invaded-country-today/100154/3 "2002-03-26T07:15:27Z")
I claim Jamaica! reefer, sunshine and the beaches, aahhhh. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2002, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-left-with-the-crummy-ones-reserve-your-personal-invaded-country-today/100154/4 "2002-03-26T07:26:17Z")
I want the Faroe Islands! Nice little hideaway while the rest of you can fight your colonial wars in the rest of the world. And there’s lots of…rocks…and sheep…and not much else. Oh, wind and rain, lots and lots of that. Sounds like heaven to me! ---
**Author:** ![Daowajan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@Daowajan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daowajan)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2002, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-left-with-the-crummy-ones-reserve-your-personal-invaded-country-today/100154/5 "2002-03-26T07:45:24Z")
Hey buddy, whatever you want, it’s yours! Worried about your physical prowess? I bet you’re saying “But **Dao** , I weigh ninety pounds soaking wet and I’m none too ruthless either! How can I possibly invade and take over an entire country?” Well HAVE NO FEAR! Thanks to the political chaos that will inevitably ensue when the order of the Illuminati collapses, a country will be as easy to acquire as a penny on a street! That is, provided you want to take the time and the back strain to reach down and pick it up! Got a favorite country? It can be YOURS FOR THE ASKING! An opportunity like this will NEVER COME UP AGAIN! In fact, why stop with your personal favorites? Why not reserve one of those countries that controls 95% of the wealth, profiteer shamelessly and then BUY a nice little island nation off someone struggling to make its ends meet? How about a remote, forbidding part of the world that will conveniently be untouched by the nuclear winter immediately following WW3? Suddenly those rocks an’ trees will turn into PRIMO REAL ESTATE, BABY! Yes, there are hundreds of available options in the exciting world of hostile international takeovers! But remember, THE GOOD ONES GO FAST! Step up and reserve yours TODAY! ---
**Author:** ![reprise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@reprise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/reprise)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2002, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-left-with-the-crummy-ones-reserve-your-personal-invaded-country-today/100154/6 "2002-03-26T07:48:12Z")
I’ve got New Zealand. All that ice-cream, all that home grown wool, and not many people to share it with because all the Kiwis are already over here in Australia. 🙂 :d&r: oh yeah, and my first act of government will be to pass a law preventing ex-pats Pauline Hanson, Rachel Hunter, and Joh Bjelke Petersen from ever returning to New Zealand (Russell Crowe gets special dispensation) ---
**Author:** ![China\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@China\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/China_Guy)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2002, 8:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-left-with-the-crummy-ones-reserve-your-personal-invaded-country-today/100154/7 "2002-03-26T08:40:55Z")
I got dibs on Tibet. ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2002, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-left-with-the-crummy-ones-reserve-your-personal-invaded-country-today/100154/8 "2002-03-26T08:56:47Z")
Dibs on India! (Mmm…curry.) ---
**Author:** ![reprise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@reprise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/reprise)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2002, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-left-with-the-crummy-ones-reserve-your-personal-invaded-country-today/100154/9 "2002-03-26T08:57:47Z")
While I’m at it, I’ll annex Majorca and make a fortune providing safe haven to corporate executives fleeing creditors. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2002, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-left-with-the-crummy-ones-reserve-your-personal-invaded-country-today/100154/10 "2002-03-26T09:19:07Z")
I want Ireland. I will control the worlds share of “Lucky Charms”!!! MUA-HA-HA ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2002, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-left-with-the-crummy-ones-reserve-your-personal-invaded-country-today/100154/11 "2002-03-26T11:11:43Z")
I claim Nauru! Guess what OUR indiginous weapons system uses for a warhead! (Evil grin, maniacal laughter) Ranchoth ---
**Author:** ![Alereon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Alereon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alereon)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2002, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-left-with-the-crummy-ones-reserve-your-personal-invaded-country-today/100154/12 "2002-03-26T12:18:40Z")
Taiwan man! Taiwan! They make all the cool computer parts, and I can personally crush the PC-Chips/Amptron plant under my iron fist of destruction. All motherboards will be required to contain full overclocking features, and manufacturers of crappy products will have their CEOs shot. Muahaha. Oh, and banning the production of Intel-based motherboards should thoroughly annoy the Great Satan of CPUs. ---
**Author:** ![Sassy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@Sassy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sassy)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2002, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-left-with-the-crummy-ones-reserve-your-personal-invaded-country-today/100154/13 "2002-03-26T20:16:35Z")
California, please 😃 ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2002, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-left-with-the-crummy-ones-reserve-your-personal-invaded-country-today/100154/14 "2002-03-26T20:18:34Z")
I so call dibs on the Azores. ---
**Author:** ![Briminator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ba9def/32.png) [@Briminator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briminator)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2002, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-left-with-the-crummy-ones-reserve-your-personal-invaded-country-today/100154/15 "2002-03-26T20:33:08Z")
I claim the Netherlands! All that fun in one small area. Whoo Hoo! ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2002, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-left-with-the-crummy-ones-reserve-your-personal-invaded-country-today/100154/16 "2002-03-26T20:36:36Z")
I call Iceland. Those people are WAY too gentically homogeneous for their own good. That is something that I can fix with some good old fashioned raping and pillaging. Also, Icelanders are descended from Vikings so they are sure to get a kick out of the irony when I come stormin’ in and take over. ---
**Author:** ![dirty\_bird18](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce7236/32.png) [@dirty\_bird18](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dirty_bird18)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2002, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-left-with-the-crummy-ones-reserve-your-personal-invaded-country-today/100154/17 "2002-03-26T21:20:31Z")
Sign me up for Italy, MMMMMMMMMMMm Dark hair Italian Girls ---
**Author:** ![Daowajan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3bc359/32.png) [@Daowajan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daowajan)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2002, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-left-with-the-crummy-ones-reserve-your-personal-invaded-country-today/100154/18 "2002-03-26T22:10:02Z")
You got it, folks! ---
**Author:** ![Darwins\_Finch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darwins_finch/32/20304_2.png) [@Darwins\_Finch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darwins_Finch)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2002, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-left-with-the-crummy-ones-reserve-your-personal-invaded-country-today/100154/19 "2002-03-26T22:16:40Z")
I call Brazil. The rest of yous, keep your nukes outta my trees! ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2002, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-left-with-the-crummy-ones-reserve-your-personal-invaded-country-today/100154/20 "2002-03-26T22:17:42Z")
I’m taking Barbados. The weather there is wonderful year-round. The scenery is beautiful. The best rum in the world (well, IMO anyway) is made there. The people have a wicked streak of humour. And they play cricket there. I’m calling dibs on it right away. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-get-left-with-the-crummy-ones-reserve-your-personal-invaded-country-today/100154.md?page=2)