# Don't go there to dine/if you can't do the swine/don't do it... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 17, 2007, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-go-there-to-dine-if-you-cant-do-the-swine-dont-do-it/430287 "2007-12-17T02:06:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![neutron\_star](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/51bf81/32.png) [@neutron\_star](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neutron_star)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2007, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-go-there-to-dine-if-you-cant-do-the-swine-dont-do-it/430287/41 "2007-12-17T22:19:36Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] I’m not sure what “Post-Civil War” means in this context [/QUOTE] I’m guessing the fourteen states that didn’t become states until sometime after the war, but I have no idea why that would be relevant, and it’s even more confusing when you check their website and note that they actually have locations in four of those fourteen states (CO, NM, AZ, and OK). So yeah… I’m not really sure what to make of that. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2007, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-go-there-to-dine-if-you-cant-do-the-swine-dont-do-it/430287/42 "2007-12-17T22:35:01Z")
[QUOTE=neutron star] We’ve got three of them in the Harrisburg area. I think they all opened within the past few years. [/QUOTE] There’s at least in Scranton. I’ve driven past it, but never actually eaten there. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2007, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-go-there-to-dine-if-you-cant-do-the-swine-dont-do-it/430287/43 "2007-12-17T22:35:36Z")
Am I the only one in this thread who’s hearing the title sung to the tune of “That’s Amore”? ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2007, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-go-there-to-dine-if-you-cant-do-the-swine-dont-do-it/430287/44 "2007-12-17T22:38:28Z")
[QUOTE=swampbear] You had the Scattered, Smothered, Covered, Chunked, Topped, Diced & Peppered. Since you left off the 'shrooms you didn’t have 'em Capped. Damn shame. [/QUOTE] I remember the first time I went to a Waffle House when I was on vacation (at that time they hadn’t spread as far as Chicago) and saw the description for their hash browns. I thought I’d died and gone to heaven…up until then I had never had hash browns with anything but onions. I had a laiugh last year I was with some friends in Columbus and we decided to stop at a Waffle House for dinner. When I ordered the sweet tea and one of my companions, who hadn’t known that I had been shuttling from Chicago to NC once a month for the past year and was familiar with the joys of Southern cuisine, warned me that “sweet tea” wasn’t just iced tea with sugar. > [@Hostile Dialect](#): > > Am I the only one in this thread who’s hearing the title sung to the tune of “That’s Amore”? I immediately thought of the thread title as a takeoff on the theme from _Baretta_. ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2007, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-go-there-to-dine-if-you-cant-do-the-swine-dont-do-it/430287/45 "2007-12-17T22:48:35Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] I had a short lived assistant… She did not last long. [/QUOTE] Slipped some milk into her food, did you? ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2007, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-go-there-to-dine-if-you-cant-do-the-swine-dont-do-it/430287/46 "2007-12-18T01:06:35Z")
[QUOTE=Sampiro] They tried it once. One was to be opened in Pennsylvania… in a little town called Gettysburg. Rabid fans of “The Special Lady Waitin’ at the Waffle House” were justifiably pissed and went up there to protest it. Three days later the fields were scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, topped, and diced for miles around with the blood and gore of 50,000 men, BUT WE KEPT OUR PRIDE AND OUR HASHBROWNS! (And that’s the history they don’t learn you in schools.) [/QUOTE] You are somethin’ special, **Sampiro**! Laughing awfully wonderfully… I’ve always wanted to see a Hopper style painting of a Waffle House. Looked about on the googleworld, no go, but it should feature this [lovely lass](http://www.chattanoogapulse.com/pages/uploaded_images/WaffleHouse.jpg) from Chattanooga. Ain’t no smotherin’ going on with that Do. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2007, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-go-there-to-dine-if-you-cant-do-the-swine-dont-do-it/430287/47 "2007-12-18T01:10:13Z")
[QUOTE=LurkMeister] When I ordered the sweet tea and one of my companions, who hadn’t known that I had been shuttling from Chicago to NC once a month for the past year and was familiar with the joys of Southern cuisine, warned me that “sweet tea” wasn’t just iced tea with sugar. [/QUOTE] Yep, it’s more like sugar syrup with a bit of tea added purely for color. I’ve never understood the appeal of drinking it with food. On its own, maybe, but certainly not with my waffles! This thread reminds me that I am a damn long way from any Waffle House now, being in Idaho. _sniffle_ I love me some cheap greasy Waffle House food. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2007, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-go-there-to-dine-if-you-cant-do-the-swine-dont-do-it/430287/48 "2007-12-18T01:14:32Z")
[QUOTE=LurkMeister] I immediately thought of the thread title as a takeoff on the theme from _Baretta_. [/QUOTE] Exactly! Don’t do the swine if you can’t do the time. Or something like that. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2007, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-go-there-to-dine-if-you-cant-do-the-swine-dont-do-it/430287/49 "2007-12-18T01:24:51Z")
[QUOTE=hawksgirl] Not true. My hometown has one. Never discount the geographical misplacement that is Central California. [/QUOTE] There’s one in Orange County, and I think one in San Diego, too. Did you know that if you lay all of the bacon end-to-end that Waffle House serves in a year, it will stretch from Atlanta to Los Angeles seven times! (That’s more than 21,000 miles of bacon) ---
**Author:** ![dogbutler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dogbutler/32/428_2.png) [@dogbutler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dogbutler)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2007, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-go-there-to-dine-if-you-cant-do-the-swine-dont-do-it/430287/50 "2007-12-18T01:28:49Z")
I love the Hillsborough Street Waffle House in Raleigh. I met some pretty girls there, and got into a drunken brawl (Not at the same time). ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2007, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-go-there-to-dine-if-you-cant-do-the-swine-dont-do-it/430287/51 "2007-12-18T01:53:01Z")
> [@guizot](#): > > There’s one in Orange County, and I think one in San Diego, too. omgwtf? OK, the website confirms that there are no California locations. And, apparently, that I’m not crazy. ---
**Author:** ![Annie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Annie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2007, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-go-there-to-dine-if-you-cant-do-the-swine-dont-do-it/430287/52 "2007-12-18T02:13:25Z")
[QUOTE=neutron star] I’m guessing the fourteen states that didn’t become states until sometime after the war, but I have no idea why that would be relevant, and it’s even more confusing when you check their website and note that they actually have locations in four of those fourteen states (CO, NM, AZ, and OK). So yeah… I’m not really sure what to make of that. [/QUOTE] Don’t overthink this- I’m just trying to figure out what the chances are of WH setting up shop in Whatcom or Skagit Co., Washington. Because the days of non-chain cafes and coffeeshops featuring starched and greased breakfasts and lifer waitresses (_not_ ‘servers’) are seemingly over in my part of the world. Dammit. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2007, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-go-there-to-dine-if-you-cant-do-the-swine-dont-do-it/430287/53 "2007-12-18T02:57:53Z")
[QUOTE=dogbutler] I love the Hillsborough Street Waffle House in Raleigh. I met some pretty girls there, and got into a drunken brawl (Not at the same time). [/QUOTE] Of course you do realize that _not_ getting into a drunken brawl at Waffle House would be the weird thing, right? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2007, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-go-there-to-dine-if-you-cant-do-the-swine-dont-do-it/430287/54 "2007-12-18T05:18:09Z")
[QUOTE=Hostile Dialect] omgwtf? OK, the website confirms that there are no California locations. And, apparently, that I’m not crazy. [/QUOTE] Calm down. I was[joking](http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&um=1&ie=UTF-8&q=%22%2B%22Waffle+House%22&near=Santa+Ana,+CA&fb=1&view=text&latlng=33750646,-117868622,12302485417359512748). And in San Diego, I think it’s an imitation, but there’s some place that has “waffle” in it’s name by the MCRD, near the US Post Office. And how many restaurants have “waffle” in their name, anyway? To me they’re all the same, and the food might be all the same to you, too. Give it a try. I think it was a Denny’s or Coco’s or something when I lived there. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2007, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-go-there-to-dine-if-you-cant-do-the-swine-dont-do-it/430287/55 "2007-12-18T05:24:45Z")
I wasn’t angry, I was just baffled. (It must be my username. 😉 ) Now that you mention it, yeah, I remember that waffle place. Never been. Anyway, I wanted to like the Waffle House’s food. I really did. But as I said earlier, it made me sick when nothing else I had eaten in the 18 years I had under my belt at the time could. I can forgive a restaurant that made me sick, but not _the first restaurant ever_. Frankly, if that place near the MCRD is like the Waffle House, I don’t think I want any part of it. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2007, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-go-there-to-dine-if-you-cant-do-the-swine-dont-do-it/430287/56 "2007-12-18T06:15:35Z")
[QUOTE=Hostile Dialect] But as I said earlier, it made me sick when nothing else I had eaten in the 18 years I had under my belt at the time could. I can forgive a restaurant that made me sick, but not _the first restaurant ever_. Frankly, if that place near the MCRD is like the Waffle House, I don’t think I want any part of it. [/QUOTE] I understand this completely. Food poisoning is traumatic, and it affects one psychologically. The only time I contracted food poisoning was a night I was walking back home from an East Hollywood salsatec and made the mistake of stopping by a Taco Bell for a quick, cheap bite to eat (it was the only place open in my path). I spent all of Saturday and half of Sunday retching from the effects of the bacterium that had found its way into my food, and to this day I can’t set foot in a Taco Bell. No big loss. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2007, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-go-there-to-dine-if-you-cant-do-the-swine-dont-do-it/430287/57 "2007-12-18T13:24:21Z")
[QUOTE=iamthewalrus(:3=] Slipped some milk into her food, did you? [/QUOTE] Caught her downloading and printing out some really ranchy gay male porn. This was after she had told us that she could print out things because “the smell of the ink makes me sick.” Her defense was that I had told her to do it. It violates about twenty of our office policies and she picks Miss Straight Lace to blame it on. I don’t care if people do it on their own time, but not on my computer. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2007, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-go-there-to-dine-if-you-cant-do-the-swine-dont-do-it/430287/58 "2007-12-18T15:37:02Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] Caught her downloading and printing out some really **ranchy** gay male porn. This was after she had told us that she could print out things because “the smell of the ink makes me sick.” Her defense was that I had told her to do it. It violates about twenty of our office policies and she picks Miss Straight Lace to blame it on. I don’t care if people do it on their own time, but not on my computer. [/QUOTE] Bolding mine. Were they wearing nothing but cowboy hats, cowboy boots and smiles? 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-go-there-to-dine-if-you-cant-do-the-swine-dont-do-it/430287.md?page=2)