# Don't hate me because I'm beautiful. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 29, 2013, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hate-me-because-im-beautiful/662177 "2013-06-29T02:23:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2013, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hate-me-because-im-beautiful/662177/41 "2013-06-30T07:05:11Z")
I’m not a stunningly attractive guy but I’m good looking enough that _some_ people find me pretty attractive, and it’s easy for me to tell that I’m being treated differently just because of the way I look and nothing else about me. I don’t know if I can come up with specific examples but it’s just easy to think of a lot of little banter or offers of assistance that might not have ever happened if the people doing them didn’t think I was fairly attractive. ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2013, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hate-me-because-im-beautiful/662177/42 "2013-06-30T12:58:27Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > How would a person know if they’ve wearing a golden halo because of their looks or anything else? Unless a person undergoes a massive make-over and then does a before-and-after comparison of the life, they can’t know. Right? Well … I sorta can answer that. I had gastric bypass last year. I weighed about 330 the day of surgery; today I’m at 196. I’ve gone from a size 28-30 to about a 14 or 16. I was pretty before the surgery. Am I gorgeous now? No, but some people have told me I am. People really don’t treat me any differently. The only thing I’ve noticed is that I do get more compliments (mostly from women), and people in general look at me longer than they did before. Probably just milliseconds longer, but it’s like they SEE me now, even if they don’t talk to me. Before, I was invisible. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2013, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hate-me-because-im-beautiful/662177/43 "2013-06-30T13:11:05Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > Honestly, I think its more attitude and confidence. I know that I look good because I work at it. While I don’t want to disagree with such a smart person as **Lamia** , I have to disagree about my face. I look TERRIBLE in pictures. Seriously, I’m dog ass ugly if you look at my face when I’m not moving. I think you mean **Tracijo67** , who is a smart person too. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![medstar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f07891/32.png) [@medstar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/medstar)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2013, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hate-me-because-im-beautiful/662177/44 "2013-06-30T17:44:21Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > I don’t know if they get out of parking tickets or anything, but I’ve seen handsome men attract a lot of notice. > > At my old job I privately nicknamed the one reasonably attractive IT guy “Diet Coke Break” because whenever he came around the reaction he got from not only students but the other library employees reminded me of [this famous commercial](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdrE1VMxzoE). And IMHO this guy wasn’t even all that good looking, more a young David Spade than a young Brad Pitt. But it seemed like _everyone_ knew his name, and whenever he came into the library there’d be this chorus of “_Hiiiiiiiiiii_ David!” Hmm . . . click on [www.getmezesty.com](http://www.getmezesty.com) and tell me what you think about the model (barely) covered by the picnic spread. Just a little attractive, wouldn’t you say?😃 ---
**Author:** ![medstar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f07891/32.png) [@medstar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/medstar)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2013, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hate-me-because-im-beautiful/662177/45 "2013-06-30T17:45:29Z")
Ooops. Wrong picture, but he’s still really good-looking. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2013, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hate-me-because-im-beautiful/662177/46 "2013-06-30T18:21:09Z")
> [@medstar](#): > > Hmm . . . click on [www.getmezesty.com](http://www.getmezesty.com) and tell me what you think about the model (barely) covered by the picnic spread. Just a little attractive, wouldn’t you say?😃 Isn’t that the guy from Fringe? On TV I’ve noticed he’s probably pretty good looking, since I noticed and remembered him, but that’s all Photoshop and a cocked eyebrow. I’m getting really sick of even well done Photoshop because it looks so artificially semi-matte and smooth. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2013, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hate-me-because-im-beautiful/662177/47 "2013-06-30T18:43:10Z")
> [@medstar](#): > > Hmm . . . click on [www.getmezesty.com](http://www.getmezesty.com) and tell me what you think about the model (barely) covered by the picnic spread. Just a little attractive, wouldn’t you say?😃 Is that model named David Spade? Because I was referring to the [actor](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Spade) from _Saturday Night Live_ and various comedies, so I’m not sure why you’re linking to pictures of some other guy. ---
**Author:** ![medstar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f07891/32.png) [@medstar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/medstar)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2013, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hate-me-because-im-beautiful/662177/48 "2013-06-30T21:47:43Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > Is that model named David Spade? Because I was referring to the [actor](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Spade) from _Saturday Night Live_ and various comedies, so I’m not sure why you’re linking to pictures of some other guy. No, the actor in the Zesty commercial is named Anderson Davis. I know because E Online has a photo gallery of handsome men in current commercials. Although Mr. Davis shows up shirtless in at least one television commercial, he’s covered (barely) by a picnic tablecloth in the photo gallery. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2013, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hate-me-because-im-beautiful/662177/49 "2013-06-30T22:17:37Z")
But I think the question is, “Would this person know why you did not give him a speeding ticket, or does he think nobody else gets them, either?” Or something like that. I’m pretty sure it’s not, “Do you have a nice bit of crumpet to show us?” ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [June 30, 2013, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hate-me-because-im-beautiful/662177/50 "2013-06-30T22:18:55Z")
> [@medstar](#): > > No, the actor in the Zesty commercial is named Anderson Davis. I know because E Online has a photo gallery of handsome men in current commercials. Although Mr. Davis shows up shirtless in at least one television commercial, he’s covered (barely) by a picnic tablecloth in the photo gallery. Were pictures of this model supposed to relate to my anecdotes in some way, or did you just quote me by accident? ---
**Author:** ![medstar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f07891/32.png) [@medstar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/medstar)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2013, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hate-me-because-im-beautiful/662177/51 "2013-07-01T01:24:42Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > Were pictures of this model supposed to relate to my anecdotes in some way, or did you just quote me by accident? Yes, you asked if the model was David Spade; I was explaining the model’s name was Anderson Davis. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2013, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hate-me-because-im-beautiful/662177/52 "2013-07-01T01:55:53Z")
And was he the object of everybody’s attention on the Diet Coke ad? I ask because, though I’m the King of the Loosely-Connected Aside, I did pass out an agenda before this meeting and I’m trying to keep it on track so we’re out of here before lunch. ---
**Author:** ![claramorena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/2acd7d/32.png) [@claramorena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/claramorena)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2013, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hate-me-because-im-beautiful/662177/53 "2013-07-01T02:01:49Z")
> [@digs](#): > > One look at the weight and wrinkles and other detritus of too much Scotch and cigarettes, and you understood why she was living in the past. I noticed that the people who did depend greatly on their physical looks rather than intelligence, kindheartedness, personality then become bitter and angry when they age and lose their looks(A.K.A their meal ticket). Then they lose their sense of identity once wrinkles show up and people stop treating them as special. It becomes even more pathetic that instead of aging with grace, some of become jealous of twenty something year olds since it is now the of twenty something year olds that are beautiful/handsome and not them. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2013, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hate-me-because-im-beautiful/662177/54 "2013-07-01T02:18:40Z")
> [@medstar](#): > > Yes, you asked if the model was David Spade; I was explaining the model’s name was Anderson Davis. And were pictures of model Anderson Davis supposed to relate in some way to my anecdote about the IT guy who looked like David Spade? Because that is what I’m struggling to figure out here. I thought at first that perhaps this model had the same name as the comedian and you were confused about the reference I was making, but since that apparently is not the case then I’m totally stumped. ---
**Author:** ![Doggo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/87869e/32.png) [@Doggo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doggo)\ **Post date:** [July 1, 2013, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hate-me-because-im-beautiful/662177/55 "2013-07-01T02:34:57Z")
> [@Tracijo67](#): > > Of course they know. It is confirmed by how others behave around them. > > I have two sisters. One is 10 years younger than me, and very conventionally pretty. The other is not quite a year younger and achingly beautiful. I resemble my mother in a very plain/average way, and they were blessed with the lion’s share of my father’s genetic material. I grew up thinking that I was hideously ugly; look back at pics now and realize that I was a really cute kid, not to be mistaken for beautiful, but certainly not anywhere close to ugly. It was just that EVERYONE would fawn over Julie’s beauty, including aunts and uncles, and there wouldn’t even be an awkward pause when it came to me 😃 All were kind to me and clearly loved me, so they’re forgiven for being shitheads. > > Julie knew that she was beautiful before we even entered grade school together. It was reflected in her unconscious acceptance of the feedback she got from the behaviors of people around us, and she learned very early to manipulate it to her advantage. As we grew up, we naturally became very competitive and resentful of each other. I hated how people – not just boys/men, but teachers, church members, Girl Scout leaders, other female peers – would fawn over and defer to her. Girls wanted to sit next to her at lunchtime. Boys would bring her cookies or run errands for her and fell all over themselves trying to get her attention. She accepted this as her due. When we grew into adulthood, she was completely inured to commanding “all eyes on deck” when she walked into a room. I felt not just invisible but hideous when comparing myself to her. And as unkind as she could be to me, I was a shithead to her as well. I took every opportunity to make her feel stupid, and like everyone around us, seriously underestimated her intellectual capacity and just assumed that I was in fact far smarter than her. She believed it too, reflected in the life choices that we made. I went off to college; she went to beauty school. We got close one summer when I stayed with her during summer break. And life knocked the arrogance right out of both of us anyway. Over the years I have come to realize that her beauty masked other fine attributes, such as her keen sense of humor, kindness, perception, and a very pragmatic intellect that surpasses my own. Given a scenario, I’m stuck with examining every angle, while she’s taken a snapshot assessment, made an inventory of choices, selected the best, and tweaked it to best outcome. > > Our youngest sister is very pretty; not stunningly beautiful like Julie, but grew up enjoying many of the same advantages. Once, when I was in my late 30’s, we all got together, and youngest sister was late. When she arrived (with her then toddler and infant) she told us that she’d been running late, was speeding to make up lost time, and had been pulled over. She said that before the police officer made his way to the car, she unbuttoned her blouse and made ready with the “routine”. Only this time, the officer looked at her, glanced at her cleavage, looked at her kids, back at her, shook his head in disgust and wrote her TWO tickets: one for speeding, another for lacking a proper carseat for her son. Both sisters laughed, and Julie scolded her for trying the seduction routine with her kids in the backseat. She told her she should have went for “damsel in distress” instead: big, mournful eyes, a few tears for good measure, and a “my husband will be so upset.” I was floored by the whole exchange. To me, they may as well have been speaking a foreign language. It never would have occurred to me to even try to use my femininity in that way; I’d have just been extra courteous and cooperative and hope for the best (never worked). I hate men, just a little bit. And I love them too, because I’ve never been treated with that kind of "checkin’ big brain at the door’ deference. I ain’t beautiful. Men don’t lose their shit around me, and honestly… I think I got a better deal. Thanks for sharing that. I just meant that I wonder if really beautiful women also suffer from an inferiority complex like most of us mere mortals do, and regardless of the attention, secretely don’t believe that they are beautiful. When young I was actually quite good looking, but because of my mental state, always thought I was unattractive. I missed out on a lot of relationships because of that holding me back. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hate-me-because-im-beautiful/662177.md?page=2)