# "Don't hit the cat with your light sabre!" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 28, 2013, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708 "2013-07-28T01:31:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708/1 "2013-07-28T01:31:22Z")
And other things you never thought you’d say until you had a kid. What are yours? ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708/2 "2013-07-28T02:20:17Z")
No, the cat does **NOT** like it when you put your finger in her ass! ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708/3 "2013-07-28T02:24:05Z")
“Don’t put the Blue Elephant in the Cat Food” To this day, we can’t find one of the two blue elephants from the Noah’s Ark set. “Don’t eat the Experiment” I had buttons made up with this when I ran a hands-on science course for kids, and repeated it to them several times. The stuff they were working with wouldn’t cause anything sereious, but I didn’t need vomiting or diarrhea in the room. ---
**Author:** ![Girlundone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/919ad9/32.png) [@Girlundone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girlundone)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708/4 "2013-07-28T02:50:49Z")
“Hey, you guys, lets make macaroni necklaces!” ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708/5 "2013-07-28T02:53:15Z")
“Teague’s defenestrating his toys!” ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708/6 "2013-07-28T03:12:24Z")
Mrs Piper: “He’s been upstairs for a while and it’s pretty quiet.” Piper: “Yes, but the Riders are on!” ---
**Author:** ![InternetLegend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/internetlegend/32/13154_2.png) [@InternetLegend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InternetLegend)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708/7 "2013-07-28T03:16:01Z")
I saw the thread title and immediately thought of Mr. Legend’s favorite: “Don’t throw the dog at your sister!” (She didn’t.) ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708/8 "2013-07-28T04:28:34Z")
You did not see a dinosaur. We are not moving to Greece. . ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708/9 "2013-07-28T07:00:42Z")
Yes, Daddy’s car can go to sleepy by itself. You don’t need to go out and give it a hug. ---
**Author:** ![Charley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/97f17d/32.png) [@Charley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charley)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708/10 "2013-07-28T07:04:00Z")
Don’t put peas in your ear. Why is Bob the Builder in the teapot? Nobody wants to see your nappy. No, even though the daddy seahorse carries the babies in his tummy, it doesn’t mean that seahorses are mammals. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708/11 "2013-07-28T08:07:25Z")
Yes, pea soup is green. No, you can’t soak a towel in it to simulate a football field for your toys. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708/12 "2013-07-28T08:23:51Z")
“Stop licking your plate!” Said at a nice restaurant. Also, I don’t recall turning the [ex]wife down for sex because I’m too tired before we had children. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708/13 "2013-07-28T12:43:28Z")
“Please don’t hug the bread.” “No summoning the demons before bed,” and, “Don’t hex your sister,” are two of my favorites. (pagan kids) ---
**Author:** ![catflea12](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f6c823/32.png) [@catflea12](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catflea12)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708/14 "2013-07-28T13:10:07Z")
mine was: WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR EYEBROWS! (she shaved them off, had to use eyebrown pencil to draw them back in for the next 2 weeks) ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708/15 "2013-07-28T14:55:43Z")
Take your fingers out of my nose! My butt is not a table! ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708/16 "2013-07-28T16:50:41Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > “Please don’t hug the bread.” > > “No summoning the demons before bed,” and, “Don’t hex your sister,” are two of my favorites. (pagan kids) Well, when ARE you supposed to summon the demons, then? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708/17 "2013-07-28T17:10:23Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > No, the cat does **NOT** like it when you put your finger in her ass! Does so! ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708/18 "2013-07-28T17:55:08Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > Well, when ARE you supposed to summon the demons, then? Only during daylight hours, and after your homework is done. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708/19 "2013-07-28T18:06:27Z")
> [@](#): > > Eat your food only; do not eat that which is not food; neither seize the table between your jaws, nor use the raiment of the table to wipe your lips. I say again to you, do not touch it, but leave it as it is. > > And though your stick of carrot does indeed resemble a marker, draw not with it upon the table, even in pretend, for we do not do that, that is why. > > And though the pieces of broccoli are very like small trees, do not stand them upright to make a forest, because we do not do that, that is why. > > Sit just as I have told you, and do not lean to one side or the other, nor slide down until you are nearly slid away. Heed me; for if you sit like that, your hair will go into the syrup. And now behold, even as I have said, it has come to pass. From _[Lamentations of the Father](http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/1997/02/laws-concerning-food-and-drink-household-principles-lamentations-of-the-father/305013/)_, by Ian Frazier. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708/20 "2013-07-28T18:24:06Z")
> [@](#): > > And though the pieces of broccoli are very like small trees, do not stand them upright to make a forest, because we do not do that, that is why. Obviously Frazier has never had [Enchanted Broccoli Forest](http://www.readysetmom.com/.a/6a00d83451c9bc69e20120a6130a0d970b-800wi). [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708.md?page=2)