# "Don't hit the cat with your light sabre!" **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 28, 2013, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708 "2013-07-28T01:31:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708/21 "2013-07-28T18:25:30Z")
Heard over the phone from a friend yelling at her cat regarding a plushie I had sent my friend… “Finnigan, stop humping the unicorn!” ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708/22 "2013-07-28T18:58:31Z")
“Stop filling up on your broccoli, or you won’t have room for dessert.” ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Girlfriend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.girlfriend/32/193_2.png) [@Dr.Girlfriend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Girlfriend)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708/23 "2013-07-28T19:01:51Z")
I don’t have kids, but I did have to tell my younger niece to stop licking the TV screen the other day. ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708/24 "2013-07-28T19:09:17Z")
I know it looks like fun, but you’re not joining the dogs when they have cornered a snake. ---
**Author:** ![Kenm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bc79bd/32.png) [@Kenm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kenm)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708/25 "2013-07-28T19:16:43Z")
> [@](#): > > And though your stick of carrot does indeed resemble a marker, draw not with it upon the table, even in pretend, for we do not do that, that is why. [**Now shut up and eat your ice cream!**](http://www.telegraph.co.uk/expat/expatpicturegalleries/10185036/Stop-me-and-buy-one.html?frame=2619674) ---
**Author:** ![Caveat\_lector\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@Caveat\_lector\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caveat_lector_1)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708/26 "2013-07-28T20:17:32Z")
Can I add one as a teacher? “No you may not get them to smell your feet.” _student protests_" “I don’t care if its snack time. Stop it!” ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2013, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708/27 "2013-07-28T20:41:27Z")
You know, the OP failed to mention whether or not the cat in question is actually a Sith Lord in disguise. Going after the cat would be perfectly justifiable, even necessary, if that were the case. Then again, I guess it could be that **Northern Piper** is a Sith Lord, and was trying to protect a feline apprentice (presumably named Darth Meow). So, are we going to have to dispatch the Jedi Council to your location? We will if we have to. ---
**Author:** ![Lightray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightray/32/391_2.png) [@Lightray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightray)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708/28 "2013-07-29T16:30:30Z")
I often have to tell my nephews “Your Jedi mind-tricks won’t work on me, young man” when they’re trying to explain how _of course_ they’re allowed more time playing games. With my niece it’s more surprise at what I’ve ended up _wearing_, than at what I’ve found myself _saying_. She’s a dress-up girl, and wants to haul out Pretty Pretty Princess and her costume jewelry every time Uncle Lightray visits… ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708/29 "2013-07-29T17:14:55Z")
> [@Snooooopy](#): > > You know, the OP failed to mention whether or not the cat in question is actually a Sith Lord in disguise. Going after the cat would be perfectly justifiable, even necessary, if that were the case. Then again, I guess it could be that **Northern Piper** is a Sith Lord, and was trying to protect a feline apprentice (presumably named Darth Meow). So, are we going to have to dispatch the Jedi Council to your location? We will if we have to. If I were talented enough - I would try and do a 'Snoopy Vs Darth Meow" quote. for now, I’ll leave it as is - for now. ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708/30 "2013-07-29T17:22:47Z")
“Don’t pee on your brother.” We don’t have kids, but Mr. Snicks heard that one while in the bathroom at some sporting event or other. ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708/31 "2013-07-29T17:34:33Z")
A good friend of ours while watching his son (playing soccer) run into a treed area to retrive an out of bounds kick “Don’t lick the trees!” ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708/32 "2013-07-29T17:50:52Z")
“Can’t sleep. Clowns will eat me.” ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708/33 "2013-07-29T17:52:38Z")
Overheard father and son, the other day: Son: Those were all really gross! Dad: Ahh, so you liked it, huh? ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708/34 "2013-07-29T17:58:26Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Only during daylight hours, and after your homework is done. 😉 I thought it was supposed to be during the witching hour? ---
**Author:** ![perfectparanoia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a5b964/32.png) [@perfectparanoia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/perfectparanoia)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708/35 "2013-07-29T18:53:21Z")
Don’t shake your booty at your sister! ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708/36 "2013-07-29T20:39:03Z")
Son1: That’s bullship! Son2: You said shit! Me: No, he said ship. Son1: Yeah, I said bullship not bullshit. Son2: Now you said shit again. \*\*Wife: Cut that shit out! \*\* ---
**Author:** ![aNewLeaf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@aNewLeaf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aNewLeaf)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2013, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708/37 "2013-07-29T21:15:25Z")
I was once told “stop looking at your brother!”. I didn’t. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-hit-the-cat-with-your-light-sabre/664708.md?page=1)