# Don't Kiss the Rattlesnake **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 18, 2017, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-kiss-the-rattlesnake/786933 "2017-05-18T16:27:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2017, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-kiss-the-rattlesnake/786933/21 "2017-05-18T23:56:41Z")
This guy’s just lucky nobody in the hospital needed an organ transplant. Because I don’t think anyone would have disputed the point in the staff had declared him brain dead. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2017, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-kiss-the-rattlesnake/786933/22 "2017-05-19T01:52:25Z")
“Hold my beer.” ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2017, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-kiss-the-rattlesnake/786933/23 "2017-05-19T01:58:20Z")
“[Don’t Fear The Reaper](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClQcUyhoxTg)” Blue Oyster Cult 1976 Holy Shit, this qualifies as “Guardians Of The Galaxy Next Movie” music. Glad I don’t know those guys; so much good music would literally Annoy The Hell out of them… ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2017, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-kiss-the-rattlesnake/786933/24 "2017-05-19T01:59:16Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > My father told the story that a colleague of his in some tropical country returned home one evening to the sight of his young child spoonfeeding ice cream to a cobra. Every time the snake got too close the child would bop the cobra on the head with the spoon! A friend of mine lives in Sydney in an area where Sydney Funnel-web spiders, which are extremely dangerous, are reasonably common. One of his young boys was at that age where they grab everything and put it in their mouth. He came into his kid’s room just in time to see his kid reaching out to grab a funnel-web. He yelled loud enough to startle the boy into pulling his hand back. A funnel-web bite to a kid that age is a death sentence without very quick treatment. My friend rides a motorbike and funnel-webs in his area were common enough that he had thought through his plan of action if one of his boys was ever bitten: throw them over the tank of his motorbike, and break every traffic law getting them to the nearest hospital. He reckoned he’d worked out he could make it in about 3 minutes 30 seconds if required. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2017, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-kiss-the-rattlesnake/786933/25 "2017-05-19T02:01:42Z")
I remember hearing about a diver who was hand feeding sausages to a Moray eel. Apparently, people had been feeding the eel for months, so it was swimming up to people expecting to be fed. The eel accidently bit off the man’s thumb, unable to distinguish it from a sausage. Doctors had to transplant one of the man’s big toes onto his hand to replace the thumb. ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2017, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-kiss-the-rattlesnake/786933/26 "2017-05-19T03:09:51Z")
Snakes don’t take well to sexual harasssssment. > [@Biotop](#): > > How do people, even intoxicated ones, think it’s OK to hand feed the bear, get out of the car to photograph the lion, pet the zoo tiger, caress the poisonfish, or kiss the rattlesnake? Are those euphemisms? ---
**Author:** ![CannyDan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cannydan/32/548_2.png) [@CannyDan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CannyDan)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2017, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-kiss-the-rattlesnake/786933/27 "2017-05-19T03:45:43Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > Good lord! I have to get rid of those rattlesnake eggs before they hatch. I’ve always been afraid to look in the package to check though. I’ll go take a peek and see. I know it’s only a joke! Nevertheless I feel compelled to offer the correction that rattlesnakes don’t lay eggs, they have live birth. Now back to the frivolity and derision! ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2017, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-kiss-the-rattlesnake/786933/28 "2017-05-19T03:49:32Z")
Not just Florida, but also Myanmar! [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IruD5FZU9wM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IruD5FZU9wM) Is that less silly? > [@cochrane](#): > > I remember hearing about a diver who was hand feeding sausages to a Moray eel. Apparently, people had been feeding the eel for months, so it was swimming up to people expecting to be fed. The eel accidently bit off the man’s thumb, unable to distinguish it from a sausage. Doctors had to transplant one of the man’s big toes onto his hand to replace the thumb. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/ka7wCkfl15E/hqdefault.jpg "!!EEL(EMMA) BITES OFF SCUBA DIVER'S THUMB!!") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ka7wCkfl15E) ---
**Author:** ![Biotop](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biotop/32/321_2.png) [@Biotop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biotop)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2017, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-kiss-the-rattlesnake/786933/29 "2017-05-19T05:02:07Z")
> [@MichaelEmouse](#): > > Snakes don’t take well to sexual harasssssment. > > Are those euphemisms? Boas will be boas. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2017, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-kiss-the-rattlesnake/786933/30 "2017-05-19T16:23:17Z")
> [@Biotop](#): > > How do people, even intoxicated ones, think it’s OK to hand feed the bear, get out of the car to photograph the lion, pet the zoo tiger, caress the poisonfish, or kiss the rattlesnake? Or [pet the bison](http://www.grindtv.com/wildlife/tourist-gored-bison-another-escapes-injury-custer-state-park/). ---
**Author:** ![mind\_the\_gap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ea666f/32.png) [@mind\_the\_gap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mind_the_gap)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2017, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-kiss-the-rattlesnake/786933/31 "2017-05-19T20:11:20Z")
I remember seeing a sign in Clearwater, Florida that said “Do Not Molest the Alligators”. Probably good to add that little warning to the stupid shit not to do list. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2017, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-kiss-the-rattlesnake/786933/32 "2017-05-19T20:47:31Z")
I kissed a rattle snake last week. A lead kiss. Three, actually. Horrible creatures. ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2017, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-kiss-the-rattlesnake/786933/33 "2017-05-19T20:57:30Z")
There’s an old video you can find on youtube (sorry can’t look it up right now) of a Burmese (?) woman who bobs and weaves in front of a cobra, and when it lunges forward she kisses it on the back of its head. ---
**Author:** ![CannyDan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cannydan/32/548_2.png) [@CannyDan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CannyDan)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2017, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-kiss-the-rattlesnake/786933/34 "2017-05-19T22:40:35Z")
I disagree with the characterization “horrible creatures”. They want only to be left alone. Even when physically molested they seek escape before defensive biting. And when they do bite in self defense they often (perhaps 40+ % of the time) withhold venom. I’d characterize rattlers as magnificent creatures, myself. Kissing cobras is actually pretty common on the Asian street entertainment circuit. It’s often as you describe. Some performers use a slower, more deliberate, ‘from the top down’ technique. Impressively dangerous, indeed. But some of those snakes have had their fangs ripped out so they are severely impaired in the “inject venom into my antagonist” department. Other performers sew their snakes’ mouths shut. An unknown but likely small percentage of these snakes are intact, but may be so stressed and exhausted that biting requires more energy than they have available. These are pathetic exhibitions. I have no sympathy for any such performers who do get bitten. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-kiss-the-rattlesnake/786933.md?page=1)