# Don't know how to feel about this cop's question...
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-know-how-to-feel-about-this-cops-question/601263
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [October 30, 2011, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-know-how-to-feel-about-this-cops-question/601263 "2011-10-30T06:02:45Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 9
### Author:  [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)
#### Post date: [October 31, 2011, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-know-how-to-feel-about-this-cops-question/601263/161 "2011-10-31T02:39:31Z")
**Ambivalid** , what the fuck is your problem?
---
### Author:  [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)
#### Post date: [October 31, 2011, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-know-how-to-feel-about-this-cops-question/601263/162 "2011-10-31T03:08:41Z")
> [@Lacunae\_Matata](#):
>
> But, haven’t a great many posts on this thread been about idiot friends and family members illegally using someone else’s placard? And plenty of others (myself included) know those idiots but didn’t post about them, since that point had already been made? And aren’t you personally outraged when one of those limited number of handicap-accessible parking spots is taken by one of those idiots?
>
> So why would you be upset that the officer was diligent in checking to make sure that YOU weren’t one of those idiots? 😕
>
> Another point: I have read this post and your replies, and have previously skimmed other posts of yours, and notice a trend (and this is not a criticism, nor am I saying that I see this 100% of the time.) Your general habit seem to be (1) post OP, asking for opinions. (2) Ignore responses that may be valid, but are presented politely and disagree with your general opinion. (3) Respond vehemently (and not always politely) to posters who don’t agree with you and who aren’t as tactful as you’d prefer. So I have a question: Are you looking for opinions, or are you looking for validation of your opinions? (Serious question. It may save some people the time they waste posting thoughtful responses to your questions.)
No, I don’t mind disagreement. And when I’ve posted about others using placards illegally (actually it was once) it was only after I noticed the person, who had used the _permanent_ disability placard to park in a gym parking lot, engaging in all kinds of running, jumping and working out once inside that gym. A bit different than just seeing someone inside their car, _with proper tags_, and jumping to conclusions that just because they are young and sitting in a sports car, they must be using that tag illegally.
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### Author:  [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)
#### Post date: [October 31, 2011, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-know-how-to-feel-about-this-cops-question/601263/163 "2011-10-31T03:09:43Z")
> [@Muffin](#):
>
> **Ambivalid** , what the fuck is your problem?
I wanted to know what you issue with me was in the other thread?😕
What?
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### Author:  [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)
#### Post date: [October 31, 2011, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-know-how-to-feel-about-this-cops-question/601263/164 "2011-10-31T03:12:52Z")
> [@CitizenPained](#):
>
> While it was kind of rude, I don’t see how this is much different than a cop checking to see if a car is really yours or if your DL is really you in the picture or running your stuff to make sure you didn’t have an outstanding warrant.
Ok, so you and I are basically in agreement. I thought his question was rude. Everything else blew up past that point here.
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### Author:  [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)
#### Post date: [October 31, 2011, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-know-how-to-feel-about-this-cops-question/601263/165 "2011-10-31T03:15:18Z")
> [@stolatt](#):
>
> You know, there’s likely going to be one dick cop in an entire police force. I’ll bet that cop is a dick to everybody, not just you. Do what I do, let the cop do his thing, let him leave, hiss “dick!” under your breath and get on with life. People without handicapped placards take shit from cops on occassion too. I think you’ve become too attached to feeling angry and wronged.
That’s exactly what I’ve done! Except my “dick” remark was hissed in the form of a message board post. Geesh. Like I said a million times, I was nothing but polite, couretous and friendly to the cop himself. And I thanked him for policing the handicap spots.
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### Author:  [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)
#### Post date: [October 31, 2011, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-know-how-to-feel-about-this-cops-question/601263/166 "2011-10-31T03:19:20Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#):
>
> Jamie - How stoned were you during this encounter?
O man, well you know, when you spend all day smoking that killer weed on the govt’s (your) dime; you can get _preeeety_ baked. Know what I’m sayn’ man? 🆒
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### Author:  [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)
#### Post date: [October 31, 2011, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-know-how-to-feel-about-this-cops-question/601263/167 "2011-10-31T03:23:08Z")
> [@Muffin](#):
>
> **Ambivalid** , what the fuck is your problem?
I can answer that. He has a chip on his shoulder about his handicap that is so big that if it were to be removed and sent to a sawmill we would have enough lumber to build at least two houses.
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### Author:  [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)
#### Post date: [October 31, 2011, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-know-how-to-feel-about-this-cops-question/601263/168 "2011-10-31T04:15:59Z")
> [@Muffin](#):
>
> **Ambivalid** , what the fuck is your problem?
In his own words from this thread:
> [@](#):
>
> And trust me, I was as nice as can be.
Which is to say, not at all. I think \*\* Rick\*\* summed it up quite well.
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### Author:  [@Absolute](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Absolute)
#### Post date: [October 31, 2011, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-know-how-to-feel-about-this-cops-question/601263/169 "2011-10-31T04:45:11Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#):
>
> Ok, so you and I are basically in agreement. I thought his question was rude. Everything else blew up past that point here.
The difference is, people are rude in minor ways to all of us, every day. Sometimes we’re inconvenienced, and sometimes we’re treated ways we don’t appreciate. Generally, we all get over it.
But you seem to think that these instances of minor, trivial rudeness and inconvenience are somehow much more egregious when they happen to you, and worthy of sharing with everyone, and subjecting them to so much consideration and thought.
Get over yourself. You’re not special. Holy fuck, a cop was rude to you. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of that happening to anyone else before. :rolleyes:
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### Author:  [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)
#### Post date: [October 31, 2011, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-know-how-to-feel-about-this-cops-question/601263/170 "2011-10-31T04:45:13Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#):
>
> Ok, so you and I are basically in agreement. I thought his question was rude. Everything else blew up past that point here.
While I find a lot of things police officers do to be ‘rude’, I won’t deny that most of the time they get a Get Out of Miss Manners Free card. It’s their job.
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### Author:  [@Capitaine\_Zombie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capitaine_Zombie)
#### Post date: [October 31, 2011, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-know-how-to-feel-about-this-cops-question/601263/171 "2011-10-31T05:21:50Z")
> [@twickster](#):
>
> Y’all want to make it personal, fine, I’ll move this to the Pit for you.
>
> **twickster** , MPSIMS moderator
Could that become an automated feature anytime Jamie starts a thread?
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### Author:  [@Lacunae\_Matata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lacunae_Matata)
#### Post date: [October 31, 2011, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-know-how-to-feel-about-this-cops-question/601263/172 "2011-10-31T05:58:18Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#):
>
> That’s exactly what I’ve done! Except my “dick” remark was hissed in the form of a message board post. Geesh. Like I said a million times, I was nothing but polite, couretous and friendly to the cop himself. **And I thanked him for policing the handicap spots**.
Your OP didn’t really indicate the bolded part very clearly, except for an postscript saying that you were thankful that the cop was policing the spots.
And the more I think about it, the more I have to “say” about the OP. If that officer were enforcing some other driving-related law, would he have the right to information about you as a driver? Let’s say that he’s running a DUI checkpoint on New Year’s Eve - would waving your license out the window be enough to prove that you’re conforming to the laws of that jurisdiction? Or perhaps his shift supervisor has ordered him and his fellow patrolmen to set up a license checkpoint, and you get stopped in that. Is it okay to just wave your license, registration, and proof of insurance out the window and go on your delayed but merry way?
So why should you be able to flap a piece of cardboard out your window and expect that no one should question your motives? Also, how did you know that you weren’t being waved over to warn you that maybe you had a light out, or a flat tire that needed attention, or a puddle of brake fluid under your car? Maybe there was a BOLO out on a car matching the general description of yours? You seem to have made a lot of assumptions before ever speaking to the officer, who was actually doing his job in a proper, 'tho not “politically correct,” manner, and who truly cut you a break (by not making you sit there while he ran your license/tags/insurance, called for the tint-meter, or drawing down on you when you apparently reached toward the back seat without warning or explanation.)
> [@](#):
>
> No, I don’t mind disagreement. And when I’ve posted about others using placards illegally (actually it was once) it was only after I noticed the person, who had used the permanent disability placard to park in a gym parking lot, engaging in all kinds of running, jumping and working out once inside that gym. A bit different than just seeing someone inside their car, with proper tags, and jumping to conclusions that just because they are young and sitting in a sports car, they must be using that tag illegally.
You seem to have missed my points:I’m not saying whether you were right or wrong about the gym parking. I’m saying that a great many of us know people who use tags or placards illegally, and if so many of us regular schmucks see it, then how often must officers? If he didn’t see you get into your car, then Officer Dick in your OP had good reason to suspect that a young, muscular man in a sports car might possibly be using a placard improperly. LEOs are suspicious by nature. It’s his job, to notice things that seem out of place, and to check into the circumstances. Sometimes, that will inconvenience all of us, and sometimes that will save someone’s life, or property, or peace of mind. Again, it’s the nature of the job. But what I _am_ saying is that I seldom see posts from you that indicate that you are able to see any point of view that doesn’t closely match your own. No “gosh, I hadn’t thought about it from that angle,” or “maybe I’m not 100% right.” I see a lot of righteous anger, and even venting (and that’s certainly okay, I do it all the time and it’s cathartic,) but not much that shows an ability to understand other points of view.
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### Author:  [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)
#### Post date: [October 31, 2011, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-know-how-to-feel-about-this-cops-question/601263/173 "2011-10-31T06:02:15Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#):
>
> And prying into the private personal life of a complete stranger doing nothing wrong in the slightest is _respectful_? 😕 Are you _trying_ to be ironic?
:dubious:
But I thought that you [encouraged](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=615612) people to ask questions about your disability?
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### Author:  [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)
#### Post date: [October 31, 2011, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-know-how-to-feel-about-this-cops-question/601263/174 "2011-10-31T06:31:41Z")
> [@Lacunae\_Matata](#):
>
> Your OP didn’t really indicate the bolded part very clearly, except for an postscript saying that you were thankful that the cop was policing the spots.
>
> And the more I think about it, the more I have to “say” about the OP. If that officer were enforcing some other driving-related law, would he have the right to information about you as a driver? Let’s say that he’s running a DUI checkpoint on New Year’s Eve - would waving your license out the window be enough to prove that you’re conforming to the laws of that jurisdiction? Or perhaps his shift supervisor has ordered him and his fellow patrolmen to set up a license checkpoint, and you get stopped in that. Is it okay to just wave your license, registration, and proof of insurance out the window and go on your delayed but merry way?
>
> So why should you be able to flap a piece of cardboard out your window and expect that no one should question your motives? Also, how did you know that you weren’t being waved over to warn you that maybe you had a light out, or a flat tire that needed attention, or a puddle of brake fluid under your car? Maybe there was a BOLO out on a car matching the general description of yours? You seem to have made a lot of assumptions before ever speaking to the officer, who was actually doing his job in a proper, 'tho not “politically correct,” manner, and who truly cut you a break (by not making you sit there while he ran your license/tags/insurance, called for the tint-meter, or drawing down on you when you apparently reached toward the back seat without warning or explanation.)
>
> You seem to have missed my points:I’m not saying whether you were right or wrong about the gym parking. I’m saying that a great many of us know people who use tags or placards illegally, and if so many of us regular schmucks see it, then how often must officers? If he didn’t see you get into your car, then Officer Dick in your OP had good reason to suspect that a young, muscular man in a sports car might possibly be using a placard improperly. LEOs are suspicious by nature. It’s his job, to notice things that seem out of place, and to check into the circumstances. Sometimes, that will inconvenience all of us, and sometimes that will save someone’s life, or property, or peace of mind. Again, it’s the nature of the job. But what I _am_ saying is that I seldom see posts from you that indicate that you are able to see any point of view that doesn’t closely match your own. No “gosh, I hadn’t thought about it from that angle,” or “maybe I’m not 100% right.” I see a lot of righteous anger, and even venting (and that’s certainly okay, I do it all the time and it’s cathartic,) but not much that shows an ability to understand other points of view.
I can understand _why_ the cop did what he did, it was still rude and unnecessary. My talking about this here is not the same as me making an issue about it.
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### Author:  [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)
#### Post date: [October 31, 2011, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-know-how-to-feel-about-this-cops-question/601263/175 "2011-10-31T06:36:57Z")
I think Jamie is embarrassed by his disability. God knows why - the fact that he mamages to live a happy, productive life despite being in a wheelchair is something to be \*proud \*of.
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### Author:  [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)
#### Post date: [October 31, 2011, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-know-how-to-feel-about-this-cops-question/601263/176 "2011-10-31T10:39:28Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#):
>
> Uh, tough shit?
Yeah the disabled don’t deserve dignity!:rolleyes:
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### Author:  [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)
#### Post date: [October 31, 2011, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-know-how-to-feel-about-this-cops-question/601263/177 "2011-10-31T10:59:01Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#):
>
> No, I don’t mind disagreement.
[cough]Bullshit![/cough]
Um, dude, it’s VERY obvious that you do mind disagreement. You are dismissive and hostile to anyone who disagrees with you. And FTR, I don’t know you from Adam and had no idea your name is Jamie.
If you are weaving, and an officer pulls you over, it’s perfectly acceptable for him to ask where you’ve been. It’s fact finding. He doesn’t REALLY give a shit if you’ve been to Aunt Mary’s for roast beef and mashed potatoes. What he’s INDIRECTLY trying to find out is if you’ve been somewhere (a football game, a bar) where it’s more likely than not that you’ve been drinking.
The bouncer at the bar doesn’t REALLY want to know when your birthday is. He’s trying to see if you can rattle off your “fake” birthday under pressure. A lot of people either don’t know it, or can’t rattle it off like they could their real birthdays.
This officer didn’t REALLY give a shit about your back story. He was trying to see if you were an imposter. I doubt many imposters can rattle off a fake handicap. It’s one thing to wave a placard like a weenie; it’s quite another to look a police officer in the face and lie about having heart surgery.
BTW, I doubt the officer would have written you a ticket, once he saw your wheelchair, even if you didn’t happen to have your handicapped placard. See, it’s the spirit of the law that’s important, not the letter of the law. Kudos to the police officer for realizing that.
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### Author:  [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)
#### Post date: [October 31, 2011, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-know-how-to-feel-about-this-cops-question/601263/178 "2011-10-31T11:34:24Z")
> [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](#):
>
> Yeah the disabled don’t deserve dignity!:rolleyes:
There’s nothing undignified about being disabled.
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### Author:  [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)
#### Post date: [October 31, 2011, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-know-how-to-feel-about-this-cops-question/601263/179 "2011-10-31T11:57:16Z")
> [@Alessan](#):
>
> There’s nothing undignified about being disabled.
Agreed, however the cop demanded personal information he didn’t need to verify a tag. That’s rude and undignified treatment.
Here’s the nested quote:
> [@AClockworkMelon](#):
>
> > [@Ambivalid](#):
> >
> > What if the nature of my disability was a deeply personal, painful issue to me? One that I couldn’t/didn’t feel comfortable discussing with people with whom I wasn’t close, much less a perfect stranger like a police officer?
>
> Uh, tough shit?
---
### Author:  [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)
#### Post date: [October 31, 2011, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-know-how-to-feel-about-this-cops-question/601263/180 "2011-10-31T13:57:54Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#):
>
> First of all, _no_, I don’t think a person should ever have to “prove” to a cop that they are indeed disabled, beyond of course presenting a valid placard.
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#):
>
> As I recall you started a thread where you expected a woman to prove she was handicapped and genuinely needed her placard to you.
> [@ladyfoxfyre](#):
>
> It’s almost like, the exact same presumption you start out with every time you hassle somebody for being in the handicapped spot. Huh.
Ah, you ladies. You said what I was going to say, without using any variations of the word “fuck” or “asshole.” Thanks!
> [@Ambivalid](#):
>
> You are comparing apples to oranges. Not comparable whatsoever. That lady _had no placard displayed._
From your own description in your OP, Señor McGarry, _you had no placard displayed_ from the officer’s perspective. He told you flat out that he couldn’t see through your tinted windows, so if he cannot see it, it may as well not be there. Yes? I believe this is your own reasoning, as explained by you in a previous thread. Also, I suspect you knew he couldn’t see it from his viewpoint, which is why you held it up for the officer to see when he approached, but that’s admittedly just guessing on my part. So yeah, count me as another one who likes how you get to play parking lot cop on people, but when an actual parking lot cop wants to ensure the person using the disabled space is actually disabled, you throw a shitfit.
> [@Cazzle](#):
>
> You should move. Everyone in your town sounds like such a jerk. You’re always there being polite and respectful and they always respond with hostility, suspicion, aggression or some combination thereof. Must be Flint to blame, it’s the only common link.
No shit, eh? And he wonders why his stories are so hard t believe, when in every single one of them he is the good guy, and evil people everywhere are inappropriately hostile. Even if his OP is taken at face value, all I see is a cop encountering no visible handicapped placard, then upon seeing the it, verifying the person using it is actually disabled, the way McGarry no doubt would have done, as he _has_ done before.
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