# Don't Leave me Hanging! I'm gonna be 30! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 14, 2001, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-leave-me-hanging-im-gonna-be-30/93375 "2001-11-14T20:10:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-leave-me-hanging-im-gonna-be-30/93375/1 "2001-11-14T20:10:07Z")
I’m turning 30 here in a couple weeks. December 8th, to be exact. That happens to be a Saturday night, and there shall be a small group of people (namely me) “gathering” at Sing Sing, beneath the Denver Chop House, directly south of Coors Field. Sing Sing is not, although the name might bring thoughts of it to mind, a prison-themed bar, although it gets rowdy enough to make you wonder if jail is a possibility. There are two pianos, back to back, and wonderfully talented pianists banging out damn near any song you can think of. I have witnessed an outstanding rendition of Inna-gadda-da-vida there, and was stunned by how well it sounded. I have belted out “Song for the Dumped” with Joey Hemlock at the top of our lungs. Frequently, they will take ordinary songs, and churn out renditions to make a pirate blush. This is #30 for me, folks, and I don’t want to go by myself 🙂 Come on down. December 8th in LoDo. Bring a friend. ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-leave-me-hanging-im-gonna-be-30/93375/2 "2001-11-14T20:35:37Z")
You know I love you. Well, I would if I ever met you. But Denver so far away! If you end up in Minneapolis sometime, remind me to buy you a birthday drink. Then I’ll pretend to have forgotten all about it, and we’ll laugh until you glare at me suddenly and say “Buy me my fucking beer or I’ll rip your fucking head off and shit down your throat.” And I’ll buy you drinks all night - who can argue with that? [sub]well, maybe not ALL night, and just a FEW drinks…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-leave-me-hanging-im-gonna-be-30/93375/3 "2001-11-14T20:36:37Z")
I’m 2 years and 2 weeks behind you! I went to the Sing Sing in San Diego a few months back. What a riot. They actually did Bohemian Rhapsody. And actually did it well. Those folks are outstanding. We laughed our butts off. Happy birthday, and if I was in your area I’d show up, as to not leave you hangin’ at 30. Consider this a bump to keep it active for your fellow Denver Dopers. ---
**Author:** ![Nymysys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f6c823/32.png) [@Nymysys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nymysys)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-leave-me-hanging-im-gonna-be-30/93375/4 "2001-11-14T20:43:10Z")
Hang tight, Cyni. There’s a plot a’brewin’. You think I’d forget your BIRTHDAY? Feh. ---
**Author:** ![iadoraeudora](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/bbe5ce/32.png) [@iadoraeudora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iadoraeudora)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-leave-me-hanging-im-gonna-be-30/93375/5 "2001-11-14T20:43:57Z")
You’re asking your message board friends? You sound pretty hard up! Why don’t you buy some friends and get laid? ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-leave-me-hanging-im-gonna-be-30/93375/6 "2001-11-14T20:50:13Z")
Damnit Jim, I’m a grad student, not a flight attendant! How the heckola am I supposed to get back to Denver in time to celebrate this occasion with you? No can do, my friend. But I’ll send gooooooood wishes. Why the hell couldn’t you be born in October so we could have done this when I visited? Selfish bastard. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-leave-me-hanging-im-gonna-be-30/93375/7 "2001-11-14T20:52:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iadoraeudora \* > \*\*You’re asking your message board friends? > You sound pretty hard up! > Why don’t you buy some friends and get laid? \*\* My friends all travel for work, and the majority of them will be out of town that weekend. I am sorry to not meet your standards. I’ll assume that you’re NOT coming? ---
**Author:** ![Nymysys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f6c823/32.png) [@Nymysys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nymysys)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-leave-me-hanging-im-gonna-be-30/93375/8 "2001-11-14T21:00:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iadoraeudora \* > \*\*You’re asking your message board friends? > You sound pretty hard up! > Why don’t you buy some friends and get laid? \*\* We ARE (some of) his real friends and he CAN get laid. Probably easier at a DopeFest than anywhere. 😃 Now go play outside. It’s a beautiful day and I hear your “friends” calling you. ---
**Author:** ![JoeyHemlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ba0ec/32.png) [@JoeyHemlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoeyHemlock)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-leave-me-hanging-im-gonna-be-30/93375/9 "2001-11-14T21:00:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mr. Cynical \* > **I have belted out “Song for the Dumped” with Joey Hemlock at the top of our lungs.** GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK, GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK, YOU BITCH! But heed Nymysys’ words, for they are golden and I’m in on it, too. ---
**Author:** ![iadoraeudora](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/bbe5ce/32.png) [@iadoraeudora](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iadoraeudora)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-leave-me-hanging-im-gonna-be-30/93375/10 "2001-11-14T21:03:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nymysys \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by iadoraeudora \* > > \*\*You’re asking your message board friends? > > You sound pretty hard up! > > Why don’t you buy some friends and get laid? \*\* > > We ARE (some of) his real friends and he CAN get laid. Probably easier at a DopeFest than anywhere. 😃 > > Now go play outside. It’s a beautiful day and I hear your “friends” calling you. \*\* I was only trying to help! The guy’s a loser. So are you. I actually do have friends. So, bite me. And have I nice day. I really mean that, like the hobo you last spit on. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-leave-me-hanging-im-gonna-be-30/93375/11 "2001-11-14T21:09:43Z")
Goodness, would you like some cheese to go with your trolling? You’re going to fit in really well here, right with Serlin, and FatherJohn, and all the rest 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-leave-me-hanging-im-gonna-be-30/93375/12 "2001-11-14T21:22:12Z")
Well I’d be there if I could. You are still just a baby compared to some of us. I hope that everyone that can shows up to help you celebrate, have a drink for me. Early happy birthday! ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-leave-me-hanging-im-gonna-be-30/93375/13 "2001-11-14T21:24:53Z")
Ick. A mean person in a birthday thread. Have a happy birthday, Mr. Cynical! _\>\>\>concentrated, troll-neutralizing happy thoughts\<\<\<_ coming your way! ---
**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-leave-me-hanging-im-gonna-be-30/93375/14 "2001-11-14T21:32:34Z")
**Cyni** , unfortunately I’m booked already that weekend, or I might seriously consider it. So you’ll just have to wait for that birthday grope from me til the next big ChiDope (which you’d better come to). And **Nym** , I’m shocked to hear [sub]about[/sub] sex at a DopeFest. [sub][sup]I wear earplugs when I’m trying to sleep at a fest, after all[/sub][/sup] ---
**Author:** ![Skelji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Skelji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skelji)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-leave-me-hanging-im-gonna-be-30/93375/15 "2001-11-14T21:36:27Z")
You do realize that 30 is the age when you start to fall apart, right? (But don’t worry, your dick will still work. Well, at least to the degree it works now 😃 ) We’ll all get you a care package full of the essentials for old age: Geritol, Depends, Metamucil, and a bottle of that Old Man Smell they sell at the Dollar Store. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-leave-me-hanging-im-gonna-be-30/93375/16 "2001-11-14T21:46:38Z")
**Moderator Shotgun Loaded** - _3" Shell Chambered (with an ounce and a quarter of #6 Shot) - Safety Off:_ > [@](#): > > The guy’s a loser. So are you. I actually do have friends. So, bite me. **iadoraeudora** , why are you posting trash talk like this in my forum? Your flames, such as they are, belong in the Pit. You will **not** make derogatory comments like this again outside of the Pit. Doing so will jeopardize your continued ability to post at all. You have been warned. And remember, the gun is still loaded. ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-leave-me-hanging-im-gonna-be-30/93375/17 "2001-11-14T22:02:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dire Wolf \* > (But don’t worry, your dick will still work. Well, at least to the degree it works now 😃 ) I _hear_ it works quite well … of course I hear that _from_ **Cyni** 😕 😃 > [@](#): > > …and a bottle of that Old Man Smell they sell at the Dollar Store. Nah, we’ll just get **Demo** to bottle up some Old Man Sweat from his clients and ship it to Cyni. Brian! You’re _just_ turning 30?! Bite me… I’ll be **32** in March, so quit yer bitchin’. I wish I could be there to celebrate with you, but if you actually carry your cell phone with you _cough_, I will call you 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Rasa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rasa/32/3578_2.png) [@Rasa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rasa)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-leave-me-hanging-im-gonna-be-30/93375/18 "2001-11-14T22:22:59Z")
Yeah, and if I can find your cell phone number in my cell phone’s memory, I’ll give you a call on your birthday too and sing to you! Woo! Ok, since I don’t sing well, maybe I’ll hum. How’s that? ---
**Author:** ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-leave-me-hanging-im-gonna-be-30/93375/19 "2001-11-14T22:41:09Z")
**Cyni** , today is the day where I am closer to 31 than 30, and I haven’t started to fall apart. Yet. Happy Birthday, **Cyni-callllll**! [badum badump] You’re older now! [badum badump] We’ll raise a glass! [badum badump] To your tired old ass! {incidentally, the badum badump is not a rimshot, nor is it a blues riff - it’s the stripper hip wiggles that go along with the little happy birthday song n’ dance number} ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2001, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-leave-me-hanging-im-gonna-be-30/93375/20 "2001-11-15T03:04:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lno \* > \*\*If you end up in Minneapolis sometime, remind me to buy you a birthday drink. Then I’ll pretend to have forgotten all about it, and we’ll laugh until you glare at me suddenly and say “Buy me my fucking beer or I’ll rip your fucking head off and shit down your throat.” > > And I’ll buy you drinks all night - who can argue with that? > [sub]well, maybe not ALL night, and just a FEW drinks…[/sub] \*\* I’ll hold you to that, on December 8th, in Minneapolis 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-leave-me-hanging-im-gonna-be-30/93375.md?page=2)