# Don't let a suitcase full of cheese become your big fork and spoon. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 8, 2007, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-a-suitcase-full-of-cheese-become-your-big-fork-and-spoon/429320 "2007-12-08T20:39:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2007, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-a-suitcase-full-of-cheese-become-your-big-fork-and-spoon/429320/1 "2007-12-08T20:39:35Z")
Even without the slight, probably unintentional near-verbalization of a strong swear word in that sentence it’s one of my fondest memories of Raymond. (Everybody Loves Raymond) Debora’s reply is spot on. “I’ve never heard that before” because it’s exactly what you should have thought after Marie said it. What other completely unexpected lines have made their way into sitcoms in a funny way? ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2007, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-a-suitcase-full-of-cheese-become-your-big-fork-and-spoon/429320/2 "2007-12-08T22:50:45Z")
OK, that was incoherent. Take 2? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2007, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-a-suitcase-full-of-cheese-become-your-big-fork-and-spoon/429320/3 "2007-12-08T22:58:33Z")
I am asking for people to post [their favourite] examples of comically-unexpected lines of dialogue to appear in a sitcom or film. The last thing you expect someone to say. The combination of words you never thought you’d hear in your entire life. ---
**Author:** ![Malodorous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47774/32.png) [@Malodorous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malodorous)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2007, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-a-suitcase-full-of-cheese-become-your-big-fork-and-spoon/429320/4 "2007-12-08T23:08:04Z")
hmm…from a stand up routine, not a sitcom, but “If it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college”. ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2007, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-a-suitcase-full-of-cheese-become-your-big-fork-and-spoon/429320/5 "2007-12-08T23:10:02Z")
“Oooooohhhhhhhheeerrrrrrrrrrrrrshhhhhhhhhhit.” -Charlie, _It’s Always Sunny_. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2007, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-a-suitcase-full-of-cheese-become-your-big-fork-and-spoon/429320/6 "2007-12-09T04:16:27Z")
I once started an identical thread, using the same example as the OP. Yeah, it’s one of my favorite lines ever. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2007, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-a-suitcase-full-of-cheese-become-your-big-fork-and-spoon/429320/7 "2007-12-09T05:38:34Z")
I don’t remember the line, but at one point Monica says, “there’s a sentence I never thought I’d say” in Friends. There’s the classic, Dick Van Dyke, “She doesn’t have it when she’s having it, she has it after she’s had it.” (referring to Ritchie being supposedly switched at birth) I have to say I don’t see a swear word or hear one in that weird sentence that Marie says. Is fork supposed to slur into fuck? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2007, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-a-suitcase-full-of-cheese-become-your-big-fork-and-spoon/429320/8 "2007-12-09T06:29:43Z")
[QUOTE=eleanorigby] I don’t remember the line, but at one point Monica says, “there’s a sentence I never thought I’d say” in Friends. There’s the classic, Dick Van Dyke, “She doesn’t have it when she’s having it, she has it after she’s had it.” (referring to Ritchie being supposedly switched at birth) I have to say I don’t see a swear word or hear one in that weird sentence that Marie says. Is fork supposed to slur into fuck? 😕 [/QUOTE] “Giant fork and spoon” can sound like “giant fuckin’ spoon” if said with a New York accent. Reminds me of one of my favorite Star Trek lines addressed from Bones to Spock: “Are you out of your Vulcan mind?” Always sounds like “fuckin’ mind” to me. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2007, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-a-suitcase-full-of-cheese-become-your-big-fork-and-spoon/429320/9 "2007-12-09T07:15:14Z")
The “giant fork and spoon” joke is thus (as per my shoddy recollection): Ray and wife are having a standoff about who is going to put away the suitcase that’s been in the hallway since the last time they used it (forever ago). One of them (I forget which) tries to make the other one move the thing by putting a bit of cheese in the suitcase so it starts to stink and they’re forced to put it away. Instead of putting it away, it just sits in the hallway, stinking. Marie has a conversation with Ray about this standoff and tells him that the [giant wooden fork and spoon](http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e23/jimmynaks4/knit/filipinoness1.jpg) hanging in Marie & Frank’s kitchen is also the result of a standoff. I forget why it is - but neither Frank nor Marie wants the giant fork and spoon hanging there, but they both leave them hanging, out of spite. I’m pretty sure Marie goes on a diatribe about how it’s ruined their marriage or caused great strain or something - hence “Don’t let a suitcase full of cheese become your big fork and spoon.” I don’t watch _Raymond_ all that much, but obviously that line was crazy enough for me to remember 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Leechboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9fc348/32.png) [@Leechboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leechboy)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2007, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-a-suitcase-full-of-cheese-become-your-big-fork-and-spoon/429320/10 "2007-12-09T14:26:16Z")
“Have you ever…pooped a balloon?” - Dwight K. Schrute, The Office ---
**Author:** ![ArizonaTeach](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/45deac/32.png) [@ArizonaTeach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArizonaTeach)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2007, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-a-suitcase-full-of-cheese-become-your-big-fork-and-spoon/429320/11 "2007-12-09T14:30:14Z")
[QUOTE=Malodorous] hmm…from a stand up routine, not a sitcom, but “If it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college”. [/QUOTE] Nice. That brought back some memories…saw that one live, I did. ---
**Author:** ![FilmGeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@FilmGeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FilmGeek)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2007, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-a-suitcase-full-of-cheese-become-your-big-fork-and-spoon/429320/12 "2007-12-09T15:47:09Z")
[QUOTE=eleanorigby] I don’t remember the line, but at one point Monica says, “there’s a sentence I never thought I’d say” in Friends. [/QUOTE] It is something like “Santa Claus, the Aardvark and I are going to go talk in the kitchen” ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2007, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-a-suitcase-full-of-cheese-become-your-big-fork-and-spoon/429320/13 "2007-12-09T17:01:10Z")
Could be. Sorry I don’t recall it. It was funny at the time… \ ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2007, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-a-suitcase-full-of-cheese-become-your-big-fork-and-spoon/429320/14 "2007-12-09T17:01:58Z")
[QUOTE=ZipperJJ] The “giant fork and spoon” joke is thus (as per my shoddy recollection): Ray and wife are having a standoff about who is going to put away the suitcase that’s been in the hallway since the last time they used it (forever ago). One of them (I forget which) tries to make the other one move the thing by putting a bit of cheese in the suitcase so it starts to stink and they’re forced to put it away. Instead of putting it away, it just sits in the hallway, stinking. Marie has a conversation with Ray about this standoff and tells him that the [giant wooden fork and spoon](http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e23/jimmynaks4/knit/filipinoness1.jpg) hanging in Marie & Frank’s kitchen is also the result of a standoff. I forget why it is - but neither Frank nor Marie wants the giant fork and spoon hanging there, but they both leave them hanging, out of spite. I’m pretty sure Marie goes on a diatribe about how it’s ruined their marriage or caused great strain or something - hence “Don’t let a suitcase full of cheese become your big fork and spoon.” I don’t watch _Raymond_ all that much, but obviously that line was crazy enough for me to remember 🙂 [/QUOTE] All correct, except it’s debora that Marie has the conversatio with.. and Debora who puts the cheese in the suitcase… Another funny bit is when Marie takes another stand at the end of the show.. takes down the fork and spoon… And there’s a light silloutette of the fork and spoon on the wall! And this is when Frank notices, (after all those years) that there was ever anything on that wall. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2007, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-a-suitcase-full-of-cheese-become-your-big-fork-and-spoon/429320/15 "2007-12-09T18:57:33Z")
Ha! That episode stuck with me as well. I was at an antique show a few weeks ago and one of the vendors had a giant fork and spoon set…for sale… I had to pause to wonder who would buy such a thing. ---
**Author:** ![Garfield226](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Garfield226](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Garfield226)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2007, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-a-suitcase-full-of-cheese-become-your-big-fork-and-spoon/429320/16 "2007-12-09T19:15:07Z")
In the first episode of the U.K. version of Coupling, Susan says, “I intend this breast satirically.” Patrick immediately says, “Now there’s a sentence that can’t come up too often.” Also, on SportsNight, Dan misspeaks on the air, saying, “The sophomore sensation accredits her agility and quick first step to her father, who used to take her to a neighborhood park all covered in cheese.” ---
**Author:** ![hawksgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ed655f/32.png) [@hawksgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hawksgirl)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2007, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-a-suitcase-full-of-cheese-become-your-big-fork-and-spoon/429320/17 "2007-12-09T19:30:05Z")
[QUOTE=Ruby] Ha! That episode stuck with me as well. I was at an antique show a few weeks ago and one of the vendors had a giant fork and spoon set…for sale… I had to pause to wonder who would buy such a thing. [/QUOTE] A few months ago my roommate was scouring the internet to purchase a giant fork and spoon. We now have a set in our kitchen. She has a passion for big versions of small things and small versions of big things, as she puts it. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2007, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-a-suitcase-full-of-cheese-become-your-big-fork-and-spoon/429320/18 "2007-12-09T19:33:15Z")
[boring hat on] A big wooden fork and spoon are usually the implements used to take salad out of a salad bowl. My Dad has a big fork and spoon! ---
**Author:** ![WarmNPrickly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@WarmNPrickly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WarmNPrickly)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2007, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-a-suitcase-full-of-cheese-become-your-big-fork-and-spoon/429320/19 "2007-12-09T19:43:49Z")
This reminds me of a George Carlin routine about things we never hear. [QUOTE=George Carlin] As soon as I put this hot poker in my ass, I’m going to chop my dick off. [/QUOTE] It goes on. ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2007, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-a-suitcase-full-of-cheese-become-your-big-fork-and-spoon/429320/20 "2007-12-09T20:07:54Z")
[QUOTE=Garfield226] In the first episode of the U.K. version of Coupling, Susan says, “I intend this breast satirically.” Patrick immediately says, “Now there’s a sentence that can’t come up too often.” [/QUOTE] I was going to mention that line. To be honest, Coupling has become 3 times as funny now that I realize that Steve is played by the same guy who plays James Norrington on Pirates of the Carribean. It’s fun to mentally switch out Jeff for Jack Sparrow from time to time. 😃 And that is one of my favorite scenes from Everybody Loves Raymond. 😛 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-a-suitcase-full-of-cheese-become-your-big-fork-and-spoon/429320.md?page=2)