# Don't Let My Lesbian Dishes Hit You On the Way Out, Officers **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 15, 2012, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-my-lesbian-dishes-hit-you-on-the-way-out-officers/615857 "2012-03-15T14:07:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2012, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-my-lesbian-dishes-hit-you-on-the-way-out-officers/615857/41 "2012-03-15T19:56:18Z")
> [@Ibn\_Warraq](#): > > There’s something about amusing about a rant against homophobia where the poster refers to a woman with makeup on her face as “officer whoreface”. Truth be told, this is what stuck out most to me about the OP. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2012, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-my-lesbian-dishes-hit-you-on-the-way-out-officers/615857/42 "2012-03-15T19:59:11Z")
> [@Ibn\_Warraq](#): > > There’s something about amusing about a rant against homophobia where the poster refers to a woman with makeup on her face as “officer whoreface”. I think the issue here is not so much makeup as way too much makeup. Which generally indicates you are a streetwalker, or are so clueless that you don’t realize you are making yourself look like a streetwalker, or are actually Tammy Fay Baker. None of these are good things if you are a female cop (or a male one either). ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2012, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-my-lesbian-dishes-hit-you-on-the-way-out-officers/615857/43 "2012-03-15T20:01:54Z")
> [@Dangerosa](#): > > I have a friend who lives next to a cop calling nut in Minneapolis. “Nut! Oh, nu-ut!” “He’s not here, officer.” > [@kidchameleon](#): > > He must be European with a last name like that. He’s French. It’s pronounced “Fah-GHA-tee-Ay”. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2012, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-my-lesbian-dishes-hit-you-on-the-way-out-officers/615857/44 "2012-03-15T20:02:48Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > Truth be told, this is what stuck out most to me about the OP. Same here. I’m still unsure what the hell the OP was so pissed at the cops about. ---
**Author:** ![KarlGauss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karlgauss/32/3713_2.png) [@KarlGauss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGauss)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2012, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-my-lesbian-dishes-hit-you-on-the-way-out-officers/615857/45 "2012-03-15T20:07:49Z")
> [@kidchameleon](#): > > He must be European with a last name like that. I would think Scandanavian, possibly Norwegian (or maybe even Danish). In the old country it was probably Fåghatter. ---
**Author:** ![mister\_nyx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@mister\_nyx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mister_nyx)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2012, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-my-lesbian-dishes-hit-you-on-the-way-out-officers/615857/46 "2012-03-15T20:36:53Z")
Before I read any of the replies, I’m going to bet that only a small minority of the responses will be sympathetic. Anyway, my sympathies. Whatever your neighbors’ motives are, repeatedly calling the police with nonexistent noise complaints is harassment. And I have no difficulty believing a cop acted homophobic without saying anything overt. [QUOTE=Shakes] He went on to explain if you ask a woman if she’s a lesbian she will respond with: “Why man? WTF does it matter? you gotta problem?” If you ask a gay man if he is gay he will respond with a flamboyant: “Guilty!” [/QUOTE] That sounds high-larious. It’d be funnier if there weren’t so many gay people with very good reason to keep it secret. [QUOTE=Vinyl Turnip] Unless the local police are in the habit of randomly harassing quiet lesbians, I’d say her rage should be directed at whoever called them. [/QUOTE] If the police are repeatedly answering specious noise complaints, they’re complicit in harassing these people. The fact that they’re doing it on behalf of nutcase neighbors doesn’t change their role in it. [QUOTE=bup] Or being everything you hate, and still realizing you wanted him to take you, take all of you, then and there? [/QUOTE] Wow, what a gross thing to say. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2012, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-my-lesbian-dishes-hit-you-on-the-way-out-officers/615857/47 "2012-03-15T20:44:26Z")
> [@mister\_nyx](#): > > If the police are repeatedly answering specious noise complaints, they’re complicit in harassing these people. The fact that they’re doing it on behalf of nutcase neighbors doesn’t change their role in it. In many cases, the police are required to investigate all reports of suspected domestic violence. They may have no choice. If so, your complaint isn’t with the officers but with the law. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2012, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-my-lesbian-dishes-hit-you-on-the-way-out-officers/615857/48 "2012-03-15T20:45:47Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Same here. I’m still unsure what the hell the OP was so pissed at the cops about. Having quiet time late at night interrupted by a rude cop duo who made cracks about her sexuality and attempted to intimidate her brought on by a neighbor with an unknown beef. And I really only skimmed the OP. I’m going to send my first grade teacher a bouquet of flowers because between this and the non-paragraphed OPs that show up every once in a while, it appears she has taught me how to read English at a level far beyond what most people are capable of. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2012, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-my-lesbian-dishes-hit-you-on-the-way-out-officers/615857/49 "2012-03-15T20:49:54Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > Having quiet time late at night interrupted by a rude cop duo who made cracks about her sexuality and attempted to intimidate her brought on by a neighbor with an unknown beef. And I really only skimmed the OP. I guess I missed all those parts with cracks on her sexuality, intimidation, and rudeness. And I read the OP. Weird. ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2012, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-my-lesbian-dishes-hit-you-on-the-way-out-officers/615857/50 "2012-03-15T20:50:27Z")
Were you wearing ‘sensible shoes’ when the cops came to your door? Because I have a couple lesbian friends who always keep a pair of 4 inch ‘fuck me’ heals right by the door for these occasions. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2012, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-my-lesbian-dishes-hit-you-on-the-way-out-officers/615857/51 "2012-03-15T21:02:20Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > Cops don’t say “It’s the cops” when you ask who it is.\ I flashed on Wolowitz’s mom from “Big Bang Theory” - “Who’s at the door? Is that a sex criminal?” screeched at the top of her lungs. While I was reading this thread, someone unexpectedly knocked at my door! It was a guy looking to do some yardwork. Or a guy looking to rob my house if it was unoccupied. He did have a rake, though. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2012, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-my-lesbian-dishes-hit-you-on-the-way-out-officers/615857/52 "2012-03-15T21:04:08Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I flashed on Wolowitz’s mom from “Big Bang Theory” - “Who’s at the door? Is that a sex criminal?” screeched at the top of her lungs. > > While I was reading this thread, someone unexpectedly knocked at my door! It was a guy looking to do some yardwork. Or a guy looking to rob my house if it was unoccupied. He did have a rake, though. Did he accuse you of living with someone? Because that would be homophobic. ---
**Author:** ![mister\_nyx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@mister\_nyx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mister_nyx)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2012, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-my-lesbian-dishes-hit-you-on-the-way-out-officers/615857/53 "2012-03-15T21:04:58Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > In many cases, the police are required to investigate all reports of suspected domestic violence. They may have no choice. If so, your complaint isn’t with the officers but with the law. I understand that people are saying this, but I have to say I have my doubts that this is always the case. Imago’s neighbors are not the first people to discover using the police to harass people; since she mentioned I think four instances of noise complaints by these people, all of which were illegitimate, the cops should be aware of the problem. If the law really allows absolutely no discretion, then yes, I have a problem with it, but I’m sure at very least it also criminalizes abuse of police services like this, and they ought to be assessing fines or whatever is in their power against these neighbors. But I suspect that probably, in most jurisdictions, if the police are certain that the call is not a legit complaint, that someone has the authority to say they don’t have to go out. Because I can’t imagine that this is such a rare phenomenon that they don’t have a system to deal with it. Two a.m. visits from the police are potentially a major annoyance; it’s easy to imagine an elderly person being scared out of their wits, and I wouldn’t appreciate the interruption to my sleep. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2012, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-my-lesbian-dishes-hit-you-on-the-way-out-officers/615857/54 "2012-03-15T21:09:09Z")
> [@Moonlitherial](#): > > It’s a niece not a daughter and that means it’s the sworn duty\* to teach her adorable now, inappropriate later things 🙂 > > \*This belief is the reason I moved 2500km away from my family shortly after my son was born. Also, buy them loud toys and drums. It is a duty. > [@Dallas\_Jones](#): > > Were you wearing ‘sensible shoes’ when the cops came to your door? > > Because I have a couple lesbian friends who always keep a pair of 4 inch ‘fuck me’ heals right by the door for these occasions. Must look nice with their jammies. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2012, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-my-lesbian-dishes-hit-you-on-the-way-out-officers/615857/55 "2012-03-15T21:13:56Z")
I always thought “domestic dispute” just meant a fight between people who live together. Pretty sure I’ve seen brothers and sisters and cousins and moms and dads and grandparents and grandkids all beating the fuck out of each other at one time or another on _COPS_, where the police refer to them as domestic disturbances. At any rate, I wouldn’t fly into a rage if someone assumed my sister and I were a couple. And we’re not… I mean, anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2012, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-my-lesbian-dishes-hit-you-on-the-way-out-officers/615857/56 "2012-03-15T21:15:12Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > I guess I missed all those parts with cracks on her sexuality, intimidation, and rudeness. And I read the OP. Weird. It’s possible that they were perfectly pleasant and charming officers and the OP is a tinderbox of issues willing to explode if someone says match. But it’s just as likely that the officers conveyed less than pleasant attitudes through tone and body language that got the OP so het up. Either way, it’s the internet so it doesn’t matter. It’s not like being rude to the OP is going to get her to change the story. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2012, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-my-lesbian-dishes-hit-you-on-the-way-out-officers/615857/57 "2012-03-15T21:16:50Z")
> [@andros](#): > > Did he accuse you of living with someone? Because that would be homophobic. Nope - I shut the door too fast! Ha! ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2012, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-my-lesbian-dishes-hit-you-on-the-way-out-officers/615857/58 "2012-03-15T21:25:15Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > It’s possible that they were perfectly pleasant and charming officers and the OP is a tinderbox of issues willing to explode if someone says match. Yeah, not quite what I was suggesting, either. But you’re right. Who gives a shit? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2012, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-my-lesbian-dishes-hit-you-on-the-way-out-officers/615857/59 "2012-03-15T21:25:52Z")
> [@mister\_nyx](#): > > Two a.m. visits from the police are potentially a major annoyance; it’s easy to imagine an elderly person being scared out of their wits, and I wouldn’t appreciate the interruption to my sleep. That seems reasonable, but it hardly excuses saying something mean about a police officer’s makeup on the Internet. What are we, savages? [Translation: I am really confused by the responses in this thread.] ---
**Author:** ![gurujulp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ba9def/32.png) [@gurujulp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gurujulp)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2012, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-my-lesbian-dishes-hit-you-on-the-way-out-officers/615857/60 "2012-03-15T21:58:30Z")
> [@Nawth\_Chucka](#): > > Veracity or validity aside, that was a good rant, an old-school Pitting if I ever I read one and for that I say well done to the OP. > > On a side note, we’re taking the opportunity to teach our 2 year-old niece to yell, “It’s the cops!” every time we ring the doorbell. My daughter used to shout that out any time there was any evidence of police, either in the car, house, a restaurant, etc, when she was about three. It was interesting, 'specially to watch the reactions of others hearing her. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-my-lesbian-dishes-hit-you-on-the-way-out-officers/615857.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-let-my-lesbian-dishes-hit-you-on-the-way-out-officers/615857.md?page=4)