# Don't name your child after a JOKE in a TOM HANKS MOVIE! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 4, 2002, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896 "2002-09-04T01:08:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/41 "2002-09-04T13:08:10Z")
I’m still waiting for someone to name a kid **LaQwerty**. And please, ladies; it’s _Portia_, not _Porsche_. Nobody likes my ideas for naming kids. I tried to talk my sister into naming my nephew Amadeus, Atilla or Akira. A co-worker didn’t like those ideas for her kid either. My boss’s surname is Potts, and he wanted to name his kids with a name beginning with C. I suggested Dick van Dyke’s character from _Chitty Chitty Bang Bang_ – Caracticus Potts. He didn’t go for it. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/42 "2002-09-04T13:27:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Max Harvey \* > \*\*Tiffany, Heather, Cody, Dylan, Dermot, Jordan, Taylor, Brittany, Wesley, Rumor, Scout, Cassidy, Zoe, Chloe, Max, Hunter, Kendall, Caitlin, Noah, Sascha, Morgan, Kyra, Ian, Lauren, Q-Bert, Phil \*\* Wow, did you do that from memory? ---
**Author:** ![don\_nardo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@don\_nardo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_nardo)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/43 "2002-09-04T13:30:48Z")
When my newest child was born this past May, I told my dingbat in-laws that his name was Vladimir. My wife and I maintained the hoax until her mom began to rant and quiver. The silly woman began keening, “You can’t name him Vladimir, that’s the stupidest name I’ve ever heard!” My reply? “Calm down, Elsie.” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/44 "2002-09-04T13:34:46Z")
**don nardo** : That reminds me; one of the suggestions I gave my co-worker was “Vladimir Illyich”. She didn’t like that one either. (Personally, my favourite suggestion to her was “Attila Thomas”.) ---
**Author:** ![blanx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f04885/32.png) [@blanx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blanx)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/45 "2002-09-04T13:46:29Z")
I actually know an Attila Thomas. My future children will be named as follows. Thor Hercules [mylastname]. Frumious Bandersnatch [name] Scabies Rubella [name] and Jane [name] ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/46 "2002-09-04T13:49:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RickJay \* > \*\*A “Ciera” is a car. I hope he doesn’t name his third child “Corolla.” \*\* Isn’t that “Sierra”, though? Cold “Camry” Fire ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/47 "2002-09-04T13:55:15Z")
Nope, it’s the Oldsmobile Ciera. Crappy car if there ever was one. ---
**Author:** ![Kn\_ckers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/96bed5/32.png) [@Kn\_ckers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kn_ckers)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/48 "2002-09-04T13:56:01Z")
> [@](#): > > A “Ciera” is a car. I hope he doesn’t name his third child “Corolla.” Actually, Ciera is also close to Ciara, which is a traditional Irish girl’s name. I’d be willing to give the namer the benefit of the doubt, here, and pretend the name’s just a misspelled traditional, and not a car… Though that doesn’t say much - nothing grates on my nerves more than all the Kaytlynnes out there. Spell it right, fools! ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/49 "2002-09-04T13:58:01Z")
Ah, I was thinking of the Ford Sierra. Equally crappy, I’m sure. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/50 "2002-09-04T14:01:52Z")
Well yeah…it’s a _Ford_. ---
**Author:** ![Gundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Gundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gundy)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/51 "2002-09-04T14:12:40Z")
I knew a woman whose three children (girl, boy, girl) were Anniversary, Chokli, and…Lisa. ---
**Author:** ![Mystery\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f14d63/32.png) [@Mystery\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mystery_Dog)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/52 "2002-09-04T14:22:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jackmannii \* > \*\* I believe Roger Clemens’ kids are named Koby, Krabby, Kevin, Kondo and Kraut. \*\* Actually, they’re named [Koby, Kory, Kasy and Kody](http://cbs.sportsline.com/u/ce/multi/0,1329,4527888_52,00.html). Still obnoxiously alliterative, but not quite as wretched as what you wrote. (Krabby?!) Notice that Clemens picked the letter K, probably because it’s the symbol for a strikeout. Thus the father glorifies himself by naming the very fruit of his loins after his own mighty achievements on the field of battle. Someone ought to throw a broken bat at that putz. ---
**Author:** ![lionel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f9ae1b/32.png) [@lionel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lionel)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/53 "2002-09-04T14:24:11Z")
> [@](#): > > Ah, I was thinking of the Ford Sierra. Equally crappy, I’m sure. > [@](#): > > Well yeah…it’s a Ford. Actually it’s a GMC [http://www.gmc.com/gmcjsp/sierra/main.jsp](http://www.gmc.com/gmcjsp/sierra/main.jsp) OK, how do I make the worl GMC the link? ---
**Author:** ![unixrat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3ec8ea/32.png) [@unixrat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/unixrat)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/54 "2002-09-04T14:29:37Z")
More on the Madison thing: The US SSA administration lists the top 1000 names per decade for every decade back to 1900. Madison as a boy’s name exists on the list through the first half of the century. Madison as a girl’s name doesn’t appear until the 1980’s. (539th place). In the 1990’s it’s in 37th place. While there’s no doubt that the US is a large country and someone somewhere is giving their child a terrible or gender-opposite name right now that may become popular sometime in the next one hundred years, it looks pretty likely that the start of ‘Madison’ as a girl’s name coincides with the movie ‘Splash’. Slightly related: My sister was born in '77 and given the name Hannah (475th most popular that decade). She _hates_ the face that Hannah is terrifically popular right now. (Top 5 for the last few years.) ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/55 "2002-09-04T14:33:39Z")
No, it’s a [Ford](http://www.geocities.com/cossie21/) as well. Trust me, they weren’t all equiped with Cosworth engines. lionel, click “quote” to see how I made that link. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/56 "2002-09-04T14:38:46Z")
Well would ya look at that! It IS a Ford. Must be a European thing… Hey and it’s a GMC, too. Geez…who _doesn’t_ make a Ciera/Sierra? ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/57 "2002-09-04T14:40:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lionel \* > \*\*OK, how do I make the worl GMC the link? \*\* {url=“[http://www.gmc.com/gmcjsp/sierra/main.jsp](http://www.gmc.com/gmcjsp/sierra/main.jsp)”}GMC{/url} Replace the curly brackets ({}) with straight ones (). ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/58 "2002-09-04T14:40:09Z")
> [@](#): > > I have a step-grandson named “Lazerous.” > > Lazerous. LAZEROUS. For fuck’s sake. Do the parents have any idea what that _means_? :eek: > [@](#): > > Middle name? Micheal. Not “Michael”…“Micheal.” I had a student last year whose middle name was “Micheal.” Apparently illiteracy runs in families, because he was eighteen years old and could not write in complete sentences. I cringe whenever I see odd spellings on the class rolls now. I went to elementary school with a kid named Chaka Khan [last name]. Wonder what she’s doing now. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/59 "2002-09-04T14:40:56Z")
What about Shanitra, LaShayne, Tawanda, or Cyn **i** thia? ---
**Author:** ![lauramarlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a5b964/32.png) [@lauramarlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lauramarlane)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/60 "2002-09-04T14:56:55Z")
My sister would have been named Jared if she had been a boy. So, she thought this would be a cool name for her boy. Unfortunately, not being the brightest crayon in the box, she spelled it wrong on the birth certificate. I have a nephew named Jarred :rolleyes: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896.md?page=4)