# Don't name your child after a JOKE in a TOM HANKS MOVIE! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 4, 2002, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896 "2002-09-04T01:08:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/61 "2002-09-04T15:00:20Z")
“Do the parents have any idea what that means?” Apparently something more horrible than I had imagined, and more horrible than I found on the first three pages of a Google search, so please enlighten me. She said she named him after her favorite character in the book she was writing. :rolleyes: She’s not illiterate, but she’s done a lovely job of screaming down the path from “Gifted Student” to “Irredeemable Trailer Trash.” I’m not going to talk about it any more because she pisses me off in ways too numerous to detail; the stupid and asinine name she gave her kid is just the tip of the iceberg. ---
**Author:** ![belladonna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9fc29f/32.png) [@belladonna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/belladonna)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/62 "2002-09-04T15:01:53Z")
Ok **Max Harvey** , I have to ask. What’s wrong with Phil(ip)? Last I checked it was perfectly traditional, and not at all “made up”. bella–who bets you can all guess what her son’s name is ---
**Author:** ![lionel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f9ae1b/32.png) [@lionel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lionel)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/63 "2002-09-04T15:02:48Z")
> [@](#): > > No, it’s a Ford as well. Trust me, they weren’t all equiped with Cosworth engines. > > lionel, click “quote” to see how I made that link. > [@](#): > > {url=“[http://www.gmc.com/gmcjsp/sierra/main.jsp](http://www.gmc.com/gmcjsp/sierra/main.jsp)”}GMC{/url} > > Replace the curly brackets ({}) with straight ones (). Thanks guys. Sorry about the hijack, won’t happen again. Well, at least until the next time I post. ---
**Author:** ![Caricci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Caricci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caricci)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/64 "2002-09-04T15:05:54Z")
I completely agree with the OP. I also hate that it’s gender opposite and I think that parents who don’t get that they are naming their daughters a name with “son” in it are not too bright. But that’s just me. Here’s a few more trendy girl’s names I hate: McKenna and Delaney. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/65 "2002-09-04T15:22:30Z")
These name threads never fail to amuse me. People who don’t name their kids traditional American (British?) names just want to be original; deviate from the norm, as it is. That’s my take on it anyway. There’s only one name I actively hate and it’s mine. I don’t even really hate it, I just hate it for me. I really more of a Candy or Bubbles, don’t you think? JuanitaTech, mommy of Nathan Tyler and Aaron Xavier. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/66 "2002-09-04T15:27:59Z")
I want to write a romance novel, _just_ so I can name the villain “Madison Park Lexington III.” ---
**Author:** ![Gravity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gravity/32/14322_2.png) [@Gravity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gravity)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/67 "2002-09-04T15:44:43Z")
Well, sure the parrents just want to be original - but they’re being ‘original’ in the exact same way that everyone else is. “Gee, honey, let’s name our little snookums this, because it’s different.” …but it’s #5 on the US name list. Sometimes it feels like the whole world has become a derivitive of the Marvel Universe, with random Es on the end, random Ys thrown in, and lots and lots of doubled consonants. I don’t mind when people try to make their kids unique, but I’d prefer it if they don’t make them sound stupid. Not just head-shaking stupid, either. More like laugh-out-loud stupid. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/68 "2002-09-04T15:56:18Z")
Eugh… I detest “creative” names. My mom works as a clerk at a city office, so I get to hear about names on birth certificates. Zack (with a k) is extremely popular a few towns over for boys, along with Caleb and Cody and Hunter and Austin and blah blah. A few years back, you couldn’t go through 5 birth certificates without seeing a Sierra, Sienna, Dakota, Cheyanne (or many other variances). But what I detest above all else are the creative spellings. Good Lord, if you’re going to give a normal _sounding_ name, why do you ruin it with the spelling? In our church paper, there are birth announcements when parishoners have children, right? There was an announcement for a baby boy, and I swear I had no idea what the name was until I pronounced it out loud: “Awstynn Mykal” Why the _hell_ would you name your kid Austin Michael and then crap it up like that? Jesus, that poor kid. I like my mom’s rules about naming kids (all two of us): a name that sounds nice and has no obvious rhymes that kids can tortue you with when you’re in school. 😃 It worked! No one ever thought of a rhyme for my name (Lindsay). ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/69 "2002-09-04T16:15:13Z")
Note I said they just _want to be_ original. It’s probably a combination of ‘gee, honey, it’s different’ and ‘gee, honey, it’s so (in the case of a girl’s name) _cute!!!_’. In my son’s class there are _three_ Ashleys. One, I think, is spelled Ashleigh, though. Just because Ashley’s a popular name doesn’t make it any less pretty. When I was in school, Jennifer seemed to be popular. Every other girl seemed to have Lynne or Anne as their middle name, too. I never quite understood that peculiarity, either. I admit there are some people for whom I feel sorry when I learn their names. That’s my hangup, not theirs. I’ve never thought of laughing out loud at someone’s name, though. Of course I’m cursed with Juanita as a first name and an adjective as a last name so maybe that has something to do with it… ---
**Author:** ![lauramarlane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a5b964/32.png) [@lauramarlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lauramarlane)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/70 "2002-09-04T16:44:18Z")
It does make me wonder how the kids feel. Anyone ever ask an Awstynn or McKayla what they think of their name? Personally I wanted to be Tiffany Sabrina when I was a girl because I thought it sounded exotic. I’ve learned to like Laura Marlane though. And my kids seem to like their names–David and George (who would have been named 14 inch head if it hadn’t been for the epidural.) ---
**Author:** ![Zappo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b3f665/32.png) [@Zappo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zappo)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/71 "2002-09-04T16:52:52Z")
My godson and his brother have nice normal names: Michael Patrick and Matthew Ryan (his grandma’s maiden name). My friends have jumped on the “trendy” bandwagon, so now every Christmas I get cards from the families of: Delaney and Logan Kasey and Tyler Sierra and Mikeala JoHanna \ ::weeping smiley:: Camry (I shit you not) When I have kids, their names will be: Purvis Onofrio (boy) Gertrude Agatha (girl) ---
**Author:** ![Corrvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bbce88/32.png) [@Corrvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corrvin)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/72 "2002-09-04T17:12:14Z")
One of my co-workers is expecting in November. So she said, “We’re picking out baby names.” I gave her my rules that I’d use on my own children. 1. You cannot name your child after the car you conceived it in. (Ciera, Tacoma, etc.) 2. You cannot name your child after a town or state, unless you have lived there. (Madison, for pity’s sake…nice town, but…) 3. For the love of God, either pick something traditional and spell it traditionally, or pick something unusual and spell it reasonably. Don’t give your kid a name they’ll be having people backspace or white-out for the rest of their lives. “Oh, it’s Erryn, not Erin.” 4. There’s probably a rule about dead presidents needed… I talked to the lovely mother of Jackson Franklin, and wondered if she checked her wallet for inspiration when he was born. Hey, it’d get Madison, too. I like it. So, the new arrival is going to be Lauren Jade. I highly approve. (She’s a Yankee, I’m not telling her what “jade” means down here to the older folks…) Corr ---
**Author:** ![SpoilerVirgin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@SpoilerVirgin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpoilerVirgin)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/73 "2002-09-04T17:19:18Z")
Even worse than deriving _Madison_ from Splash… Actor Frank Dicopoulos named his son _Jaden_. It’s the name that Star Trek’s Data took when he had amnesia and didn’t know who he was. Yes, Jaden Dicopoulos – not even named after an actual Star Trek character, only the fake name of an android. And his father repeatedly (and proudly) told this story in interviews. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/74 "2002-09-04T17:55:14Z")
[Jaden Hatwell](http://www.cricket.org/link_to_database/PLAYERS/NZ/H/HATWELL_JG_05044903/), who was born in 1977, existed way before Star Trek: TNG. ---
**Author:** ![Diane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2acd7d/32.png) [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/75 "2002-09-04T18:22:00Z")
Mulva would be kinda cool. ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/76 "2002-09-04T18:29:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jonathan Chance \* > \*\*. > > We named our little girl ‘Kate’ (short for Kathleen) as that’s both tradition in my family and still a relatively unused variant. > > But if I had a dime for every moron who asked, “Oh, is that short for Caitlin?” \*\* Tell them, “Yes, it is. But we prefer the traditional pronunciation.” A co-worker recently produced a Kayla Tahoe. She’s a place, a car, and a Kayla! ---
**Author:** ![Syzygy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Syzygy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syzygy)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/77 "2002-09-04T18:29:10Z")
Might as well throw in a [link](http://inch.stormpages.com/index.html) on the topic (not up to date, but entertaining). Madison is a horrible girl’s name. But then again, so is Shannon, and I like that name. If I have a daughter, she’ll be Eleanor. Family name, and interesting derivation. I’m called Scott, and I’ve been told that it’s a 20th-Century boy’s first name, so I won’t inflict any Scott, Jr. damage on my son. As a matter of fact, I’ve no idea what I would name a son. Maybe Shannon? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/78 "2002-09-04T18:50:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RickJay \* > **I don’t doubt that “Madison” rising to #2 on the list is herding instinct, but it was in fact started by “Splash.” Its appearance in 1990 precisely coincides with when people who were kids/teenswhen “Splash” came out would first start naming their own kids.** Well, it only “appears” in 1990 because that’s the earliest year for which they have year-by-year data, apparently. Searching for “Madison” on the [list of the most popular names in the 1980s](http://www.ssa.gov/OACT/babynames/1999/top1000of80s.html) shows the name at number 539, so the name was indeed used before 1990. I just can’t believe that the recent increase in popularity of the name can be attributed to a movie well over a decade old; I think it’s just that giving your kids last names as first names has been climbing in popularity. > [@](#): > > \*\*A “Ciera” is a car. I hope he doesn’t name his third child “Corolla.” \*\* That may or may not be the final version; my brother’s wife was first tossing around “Sierra” or “Ciera” but then was thinking about changing it to “Cera” or “Sera”. Whether she actually did, I do not know. Current rankings of these names: “Sierra” - 56 “Ciera” - 588 “Sera” and “Cera” - not on the list ---
**Author:** ![barannca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@barannca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/barannca)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/79 "2002-09-04T18:53:30Z")
My daughter’s name is Ashley…plain and simple…not ashleigh. I was going to name my son Trey, until someone pointed out that I would be calling Ash-Trey in for dinner…Too cruel (even for me). So I went for Eric…Believe it or not they have a very generic last name as well. BTW= My brother’s name is Cyrus ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2002, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/80 "2002-09-04T19:09:00Z")
> [@](#): > > “Do the parents have any idea what that means?” > > Apparently something more horrible than I had imagined, and more horrible than I found on the first three pages of a Google search, so please enlighten me. You’re probably not getting any hits because of the creative spelling, but it means “afflicted with leprosy.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896.md?page=5)