# Don't name your child after a JOKE in a TOM HANKS MOVIE! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 4, 2002, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896 "2002-09-04T01:08:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2002, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/141 "2002-09-05T22:53:28Z")
Truth: I had a patient with the first name Philistine. She named her son Eunuch. QtM ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2002, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/142 "2002-09-05T22:59:08Z")
Me, I’m naming my kid Phlox in the hopes he’ll grow up to be a doctor. (What? Better than naming him EMH…) Esprix ---
**Author:** ![psychobunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/54ee81/32.png) [@psychobunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psychobunny)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2002, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/143 "2002-09-05T23:41:36Z")
Now here is my problem. I don’t like the trendy names-in fact, if I ever have children i want to name them after my ancestors. I thought I’d use my great-great aunt’s name from the 1870’s. The problem is, how do I let people know I’m not being trendy if I name a girl NEVADA? (Yes, she was born in Carson City, and no I do NOT have very creative ancestors) ---
**Author:** ![Apollyon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/apollyon/32/4238_2.png) [@Apollyon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apollyon)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/144 "2002-09-06T01:31:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Morgainelf \* > \*\*My first name, Dawn… Pair it with my middle name, Eve… > > The two names alone are quite pretty. Together they’re a train wreck. \*\* Well, to be a true train wreck your surname would have to be **Christmas**. 😃 Errr… it’s not is it? As an aside about boy’s names/girl’s names; it didn’t occur to me at the time when we named Apollyon Jr, _Alexander_ that he’s going to end up in school with lots of little female _Alexs_, and whether this will cause him trouble. I guess he can always go by _Lex_, or _Al_… or lord help us; _Xander_. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![lee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lee/32/7455_2.png) [@lee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lee)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/145 "2002-09-06T01:56:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lauramarlane \* > \*\*My sister would have been named Jared if she had been a boy. So, she thought this would be a cool name for her boy. Unfortunately, not being the brightest crayon in the box, she spelled it wrong on the birth certificate. I have a nephew named Jarred :rolleyes: \*\* My nephew’s middle name is Kali. They new what it meant before he was born because I told them. What a stupid name for a boy. Death and menstruation. Great associations ---
**Author:** ![LifeOnWry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/146 "2002-09-06T04:18:38Z")
This just in: one of my daughter’s classmates is named Messiah. I suppose it’s only natural to have high hopes for your offspring… ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/147 "2002-09-06T07:51:20Z")
It could be worse. I have an uncle who decided to name his son “Rambo.” This was before his eldest brother knocked some sense into the man. ---
**Author:** ![Winnie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e480ec/32.png) [@Winnie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winnie)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/148 "2002-09-06T13:22:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Caricci \* > \*\*One of the things I enjoy about bad baby naming is the rationale people have for doing so. When I was pregnant, I went on a baby naming message board and read that a woman was naming her daughter Sierra because it was so petite and feminine sounding. When I asked if she meant petite and feminine like the Sierra Nevada mountains, it didn’t go over well. \*\* I love making trouble on the baby-naming boards 🙂 When an expectant mother wanted to name her son Packer, I wasn’t the only one who begged and pleaded for her not to… and she fully didn’t understand why. Then someone chimes in and says “oh don’t listen to these people and worry about somebody beating up your kid because of his name, you name your baby whatever you want. It’s your God-given right.” Okay, so she should be selfish and name him whatever she wants and when he does get beat up she can blame someone else. ---
**Author:** ![Morgainelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Morgainelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgainelf)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/149 "2002-09-06T13:48:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Apollyon \* > \*\* > Well, to be a true train wreck your surname would have to be **Christmas**. 😃 > Errr… it’s not is it? > > As an aside about boy’s names/girl’s names; it didn’t occur to me at the time when we named Apollyon Jr, _Alexander_ that he’s going to end up in school with lots of little female _Alexs_, and whether this will cause him trouble. I guess he can always go by _Lex_, or _Al_… or lord help us; _Xander_. 🙂 \*\* Actually, my surname is part of the trainwreck, but I figured I’d leave it out of the equation on a public message board where I’ve already posted where I live and my first and middle names. 😉 But if you’re interested, it means “country” in another language, so I’m “Morning and Evening in the Country.” Ugh. ---
**Author:** ![\_etalhea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/779978/32.png) [@\_etalhea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_etalhea)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/150 "2002-09-06T20:59:51Z")
I’ve met men named both Lynn and Shirley. Lynn was ok with it, Shirley insisted on being called “Gene”. I employ over 500 temps, and I have here the list of all their names. Here are some of the highlights: Shelbye (why the “e”???) Rosa Parks (had to be hell growing up) Venessa Renae Lethia Tramaine (f) Dickie Tricia (which would be ok, but she insists on pronouncing it Try-see-a) Fadwa Luidor Demond Viola Lonita Meyarn Yannick Quandra Mathieu Nannie Orrion Carnis Silena Shanen Kany Shanta Nakolia Royet Lynyada (that’s the winner!) Share’ Sequita Anitrel Janiever ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2002, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/151 "2002-09-06T22:10:31Z")
> [@](#): > > Yannick > Mathieu What’s wrong with Yannick and Mathieu? Those are both standard French names. Fadwa is a standard Arabic name, that you mention it; the woman who played Dr. Bashir’s mother on DS9 is named Fadwa El Guindi. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2002, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/152 "2002-09-07T01:14:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LifeOnWry \* > \*\*This just in: one of my daughter’s classmates is named Messiah. > \*\* One can only pray that one of the parents is named Handel. ---
**Author:** ![Apollyon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/apollyon/32/4238_2.png) [@Apollyon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apollyon)\ **Post date:** [September 8, 2002, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/153 "2002-09-08T23:30:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Morgainelf \* > **Actually, my surname is part of the trainwreck, but I figured I’d leave it out of the equation on a public message board…** Ahhh… fair enough. Apologies for the _Christmas_ quip, you just brought to mind the Elvis Costello song, the **St. Stephens Day Murders** : _I knew of two sisters whose name it was Christmas, And one was named Dawn of course, the other one was named Eve. I wonder if they grew up hating the season…_ > [@](#): > > \*\* > But if you’re interested … I’m “Morning and Evening in the Country.” > \*\* My deepest sympathies. 🙂 And, may I agree, “damn hippy parents”. I met a young fellow name **Thorin** once… “Scandanavian parents?”, I asked… “No”, he replied, “Tolkein fans”. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2002, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/154 "2002-09-09T11:03:31Z")
**//\etalhea|)** - What’s wrong with Renae? ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [September 9, 2002, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/155 "2002-09-09T12:00:48Z")
Maybe the fact that it’s René (boys) or Renée (girls)? I mean, I’ll be tolerant about presence or accents of absense, but not about a completely different vowel. ---
**Author:** ![Scorpio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Scorpio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scorpio)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2002, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/156 "2002-09-10T11:26:07Z")
Some little girl is crying out to be named Shyamalan (or Shyamala or Shyamalana - endless possibilities) ---
**Author:** ![Burnt\_Sugar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ee59a6/32.png) [@Burnt\_Sugar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Burnt_Sugar)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2002, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/157 "2002-09-10T13:47:38Z")
My Mum worked someone called Treasure. Treasure’s sister was named Precious. There are two kids in one of my classes, same family, one Austin, one Hamilton. (Hamilton is called Ham by his little brother.) ---
**Author:** ![Morgainelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Morgainelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgainelf)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2002, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/158 "2002-09-10T15:49:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Apollyon \* > \*\* > > _I knew of two sisters whose name it was Christmas, > And one was named Dawn of course, the other one was named Eve. > I wonder if they grew up hating the season…_ > > \*\* I’m not familiar with that song! Now I have to go find a copy. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Palo\_Verde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/65b543/32.png) [@Palo\_Verde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palo_Verde)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2002, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/159 "2002-09-10T21:38:40Z")
It’s the **job** names that drive me crazy. In my son’s pre-school class there is a _Hunter_, a _Sailor_, and a _Fisher_. And believe it or not, both _ **Hunter** _ and _ **Sailor** _ are GIRLS!!! ---
**Author:** ![Bomzaway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e480ec/32.png) [@Bomzaway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bomzaway)\ **Post date:** [September 10, 2002, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896/160 "2002-09-10T23:39:50Z")
I’m thinking of changing my name to John Cocktosten. I did work with a woman named Pinky de Jesus. I think of her every time I watch the Big Lebowski… “Nobody fucks with de Jesus.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-name-your-child-after-a-joke-in-a-tom-hanks-movie/126896.md?page=9)