# Don't use "so" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 6, 2016, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-use-so/745307 "2016-02-06T12:10:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2016, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-use-so/745307/41 "2016-02-06T22:10:42Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > I for one look forward to clarification from our esteemed OP. Whoa - esteemed?? Either I’m honored or I’ve been whooshed by snark. I’ll go with honored. What I have found myself doing, and therefore what inspired this thread, was simply overusing the word. I’d make a statement, then use “so” to link to the next statement. I’m pretty sure my usage has been correct, but as I’d preview my posts, I’d see waaaaaaaay too many times that I used “so.” As a result, I’ve made an effort to stop doing that and I threw down the gauntlet to anyone who might care. I admit it - I was bored and it seemed a harmless enough a thread to start. Obviously, I’d missed previous iterations of the topic, or I’d have never wasted anyone’s time with this. And it was a really pathetic stealth brag about self-awareness and exploring vocabulary alternatives. Does that cost me some of my esteem? ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2016, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-use-so/745307/42 "2016-02-06T22:39:13Z")
[So what.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqNTltOGh5c) ---
**Author:** ![Cabin\_Fever\_1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cabin_fever_1/32/2908_2.png) [@Cabin\_Fever\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cabin_Fever_1)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2016, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-use-so/745307/43 "2016-02-07T00:12:27Z")
So… I skipped all the posts in this thread just to ask about this statement: “clutch-my-pearls-and-swoon”. So what is up with that? \* I am so running and ducking out of the room and into the hills for safer territory.\* 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2016, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-use-so/745307/44 "2016-02-07T00:13:31Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > What I have found myself doing, and therefore what inspired this thread, was simply overusing the word. I’d make a statement, then use “so” to link to the next statement. I’m pretty sure my usage has been correct, but as I’d preview my posts, I’d see waaaaaaaay too many times that I used “so.” As a result, I’ve made an effort to stop doing that and I threw down the gauntlet to anyone who might care. We all focused on your second paragraph, so you got jokes and a somewhat abstruse linguistics discussion instead. That’s the Dope for you. Overuse of “so” in result clauses is not as annoying as misuse, although it can make your posts repetitive. I try to avoid repeating things in general, unless I’m doing it for effect. (You’d see a lot of repetition if we had, say, a “What if the Lord of the Rings were told as an oral tradition?” thread.) > [@](#): > > Does that cost me some of my esteem? Nah, we like you anyway. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2016, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-use-so/745307/45 "2016-02-07T00:47:10Z")
@ **FCM** : Nope. You’ve still got up the full head of esteem. 😃 No snark intended. [might-be-a-hijack] Actually you now raise an interesting meta-topic. Some of us write a lot here. And spend a lot of time doing it. If we got effective feedback on our writing and took it to heart we’d get better pretty quickly. If all we do is fire our stream of consciousness into the ether(net) day after day all we do is reinforce whatever bad writing habits we happen to have. I’d be interested in hearing if anyone else would like to do some kind of round-table writing improvement effort. The point being to polish the delivery, not to attack the content (unless it seems incoherent). e.g. I know my stuff is too wordy & ponderous. I also overuse comma splices, (sometimes parenthetical asides too), and joined-word conjunctions. What I lack are the tools to rewrite well. Anybody else interested in playing? [/mbah] ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2016, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-use-so/745307/46 "2016-02-07T01:21:09Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > I’d be interested in hearing if anyone else would like to do some kind of round-table writing improvement effort. The point being to polish the delivery, not to attack the content (unless it seems incoherent). > > Anybody else interested in playing? It’s an interesting proposal. I think my posting style here is distinct from my prose style. It has more similarities to spoken conversation, with stronger pause indicators, sentence fragments, and parenthetical asides. If you were familiar with one, you’d probably recognize a sample of the other, but they’re different registers. It’s a conscious choice on my part, and I’m not sure that I care to change it. On the other hand, improving communication is a worthy goal. How would such a thread be structured? Simply an ongoing discussion? If so, of what? I have other writing exercises that would take priority over talking about nothing. Would we repost samples of our posts from other threads? Samples of prose? ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2016, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-use-so/745307/47 "2016-02-07T22:41:39Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Things apparently don’t fail,\*\*\* they’re fucked\*\*\*. And we don’t deal with structural components and electronic devices,\*\*\* it’s all shit\*\*\*. Those are technical terms, and I call into question the engineering knowledge and ability of anybody who doesn’t know that. > [@guizot](#): > > [Lake Superior State University has put it at the top of its list of overused words in 2015](http://www.lssu.edu/banished/)–_ **in this particular usage** _. > > Here’s an example I offered in the earlier thread–it’s exaggerated, but that’s to illustrate the point. > > Remember, we’re specifically talking about answering a question on a new topic. Imagine a conversation like this: > > A: Do you come here often? > B: So I come by from time to time, after work. > A: Yeah, me too. What do you do? > B: So I’m a cashier. > A: Really? Where? > B: So I work at the boutique up the street. > A: Cool. I like that place. What’s it called again? > B: So it’s called “Y Que?” > A: Right! I can never remember it. Have you been there long? > B: So I started there last August. > A: Nice. Haven’t I seen you at the college? > B: So yes, I’m a student, too. > A: Yeah, me too. What do you study? > B: So I study theater. So, who the hell talks like that. I mean, other than teenagers in the UP. “So” leads into a question, not into a reply. Particularly an impertinent or rhetorical question, like, “So, where’d you get the idea that would work? Y’know, a lotta guys wouldn’t try and start an outboard like that.” There’s a reason Minnesotans like having Great Lakes and Wisconsin between us and Michigan. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2016, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-use-so/745307/48 "2016-02-07T22:42:16Z")
When my parents did a European vacation in the early 1960s, they returned with talk of waiters in France and Italy displaying a usage my folks hadn’t seen here in the US. When a waiter brought them food and/or drink, he would set it on the table and, with a little open-handed flourish, he’d say, “So!” ---
**Author:** ![Baal\_Houtham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baal_houtham/32/13604_2.png) [@Baal\_Houtham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baal_Houtham)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2016, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-use-so/745307/49 "2016-02-08T02:04:42Z")
My problem with So is limited to writing. The two best writers at my company start sentences with So in most of their articles and mass emails. I’m prone to doing it myself, but when I encounter it in other people’s writing it just seems like an unnecessary word, so I’m cutting down on my own use. ## Good writers often try to write like they talk, but introducing sentences with So usually carries the concept too far. It’s like putting multiple Uhs in a paragraph to add a conversational tone. The word that is painfully overused at my office is Awesome. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2016, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-use-so/745307/50 "2016-02-08T05:22:43Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > What I have found myself doing, and therefore what inspired this thread, was simply overusing the word. I’d make a statement, then use “so” to link to the next statement. I’m pretty sure my usage has been correct, but as I’d preview my posts, I’d see waaaaaaaay too many times that I used “so.” As a result, I’ve made an effort to stop doing that and I threw down the gauntlet to anyone who might care. So, what I’ve started trying to do with “anyways.” I tend to use it to get back on the main thread topic after commenting on a tangent. And I swear that “so” came out before I thought about it. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2016, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-use-so/745307/51 "2016-02-08T06:00:38Z")
> [@Balance](#): > > Valid cases–“well” is often used in offering excuses or mitigating circumstances. I think it could be argued that those are extensions of what I described. The little kid lie is offering (false) context to the window incident; alternatively, it could simply be delaying filler as the kid’s mind works on the unnecessarily intricate details of the lie. The worker is implying that the boss is omitting part of the context–the part about the problem probably being unsolvable. > > I might be stretching the point though. “Well” is also used in offering compromises, and I’m not sure how to fit that into the relevance framework. As **guizot** pointed out, “well” has been used as a marker for quite a while; it’s had plenty of time to wallow out the niche. I guess one could say it serves in several ways as a bridge from the previous discourse. One example, which is prevalent now during the presidential elections, is as something that I would also call a “mitigater” (similar to a “compromiser”). When the interviewer poses a question which implies some kind of critique or doubt about the candidate’s policies, they are more likely to begin their responses with _well_. Take a look at [this morning’s _Meet the Press_, with interviews of both Clinton and Sanders](http://www.nbcnews.com/meet-the-press/meet-press-february-7-2016-n513266). Most of the time it seems to serve this puprose. [QUOTE=Meet the Press] CHUCK TODD: _I’m curious. Do you believe if it wasn’t for the Iraq War_ [which Clinton voted for], _we wouldn’t have ISIS today?_ SEC. HILLARY CLINTON: _ **Well** , I think that’s a hard conclusion to draw, because remember, we had Al Qaeda before we had ISIS. Al Qaeda attacked us in New York, Al Qaeda attacked our embassies in Africa._ ==================== CHUCK TODD: _I want to start with some reviews from the debate. First half of the debate on Wall Street, you got some good reviews, but on foreign policy, I want to put up some headlines here, sir. Not so good.Boston Globe, "Sanders Flunks on Foreign Policy."Washington Post, “Bernie Sanders Trips up on Foreign Policy During Dem Debate.” New Republic, “Bernie Sanders Could do Better on Foreign Policy Than Bringing up Hillary Clinton’s Iraq Vote.” How do you respond to that?_ SEN. BERNIE SANDERS: _ **Well** , you know, time after time when we have had these debates, the pundits keep thinking that Hillary Clinton wins the debates, but somehow, the people do not. And we did very well in Iowa. I think we’re doing well in New Hampshire and I think we’re doing well nationally._ [/quote] Imagine if they were to replace those uses of _well_ with _so_. That’s what’s happening more and more now. My sense is that people who already have gravitas (e.g., Clinton or Sanders)–and know it full well–don’t do that. They just use _well_. It tends to be the “minor league players” on the interview circuits, so to speak, who use _so_ instead, in a way that isn’t natural. That’s why I refer to it as an “affection”–not something that’s really conscious, but something that seems to me like a device to sound more authoritative. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2016, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-use-so/745307/52 "2016-02-08T06:09:58Z")
> [@guizot](#): > > That’s why I refer to it as an “affection”– That should be “affectation.” ---
**Author:** ![TheFaerie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c57346/32.png) [@TheFaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheFaerie)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2016, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-use-so/745307/53 "2016-02-08T14:03:40Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Things apparently don’t fail, they’re fucked. My husband does this. For example, if there is the slightest delay in traffic while we are going somewhere, we are fucked, and it’s a full on angry response from him. Heck, if the remote control doesn’t work correctly, we could be fucked. It makes me crazy. And I, too, hate the “So…” thing and try not to do it myself. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2016, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-use-so/745307/54 "2016-02-09T02:08:05Z")
So how’s this project going? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dont-use-so/745307.md?page=2)