# Door to door missionaries are going to hell! Burn, burn! Ahh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 4, 2001, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-missionaries-are-going-to-hell-burn-burn-ahh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha/53088 "2001-02-04T06:48:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2001, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-missionaries-are-going-to-hell-burn-burn-ahh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha/53088/21 "2001-02-05T08:36:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE Bo Diddly \* > \*\* > > “Excessively” tolerant? How is “just let them go about their business without yelling and screaming about it” excessive? Seems perfectly damned reasonable to me. > > \*\* “just let them go about their business without yelling and screaming about it” _is_ reasonable. Notice that **pkbites** did not yell and scream at the obnoxious visitors. He ranted about it here! I think he _was_ damned reasonable and tolerant toward these people. More so than he should have been, given their tactics. They didn’t simply knock on his door, interrupting sleep. They ignored signs indicating that soliciting and trespassing were not welcome at that house, they knocked and knocked and knocked and knocked and even went around to the back door. They crossed the line between wanting to share a message and harassing someone. If you cannot see that **pkbites** behaved _very_ tolerantly toward these people, then no one can explain it to you. ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2001, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-missionaries-are-going-to-hell-burn-burn-ahh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha/53088/22 "2001-02-05T08:38:09Z")
Okay, okay, so they RANG, not knocked–but you understand the point. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2001, 9:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-missionaries-are-going-to-hell-burn-burn-ahh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha/53088/23 "2001-02-05T09:25:22Z")
> [@](#): > > “just let them go about their business without yelling and screaming about it” is reasonable. Notice that pkbites did not yell and scream at the obnoxious visitors. He ranted about it here! Point taken. Things DO seem to get exaggerated in the Pit, don’t they? 😃 > [@](#): > > They crossed the line between wanting to share a message and harassing someone. I guess this is where we disagree, then. I don’t see the actions of the missionaries, as described by the OP, as “harassment”. I saw it as a bunch of enthusiastic young blokes trying to do their job, as detailed by a superior. “Harassment”, in my mind, involves more than simply ringing on a door. It involves more than simply ringing on two doors. It involves more than bad timing. I stand by my words… these two missionaries seem guilty of nothing but poor common sense… and, coming from one of “missionary age” (if I were still in the Mormon Church), I can understand what it’s like to be trying to do a difficult job yet being slightly overwhelmed. ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2001, 9:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-missionaries-are-going-to-hell-burn-burn-ahh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha/53088/24 "2001-02-05T09:47:34Z")
So, **SPOOFE** , we can agree to disagree? Friends (?) again? (I love this place!) ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2001, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-missionaries-are-going-to-hell-burn-burn-ahh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha/53088/25 "2001-02-05T10:17:53Z")
All righty, I can live with that. And I guess I did come down too hard on PK… after all, sleep is a precious sleep, ain’t it? And “days off” are a rare thing. So I apologize for my hasty comments. And now, with the flavor of humble pie fresh on my breath, I’m off to bed. ---
**Author:** ![Danielinthewolvesden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce7236/32.png) [@Danielinthewolvesden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Danielinthewolvesden)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2001, 10:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-missionaries-are-going-to-hell-burn-burn-ahh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha/53088/26 "2001-02-05T10:39:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Alphagene \* > \*\*Welcome to The Pit. This week’s category is “Annoying Religious Folk”. \*\* There is a typo there, dude. You wrote “week” when you meant “year”. I have no problem with folks trying to spread their faith- afterall, they REALLY do have your best interests at heart. BUT- BEING AN ASSHOLE IS DOING MORE HARM THAN GOOD. So, sit there nicely at events with your table full of tracts. Standing at corners, asking folks if they want a tract, is almost as good. Do not get in folks face, or otherwise harrass them. Notice, i did not say “don’t annoy them”- as some intolerant folks are annoyed at you just sitting there- “Free speech” for those folk only applies to speech they agree with. Knocking on doors is not usually a good idea- but if you must, observe all the niceties & signs. I recommend against the practice, in any case. You are trying to convert, not drive away. ---
**Author:** ![Blackclaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e68b1a/32.png) [@Blackclaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackclaw)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2001, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-missionaries-are-going-to-hell-burn-burn-ahh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha/53088/27 "2001-02-05T13:53:07Z")
True Story My father, a respected, honorable man who served his country in time of war earning two Air Medals for risking his life while exposing his KC-135 tanker to enemy fire so that other pilots could make it go home, once related this story to me. Just after pilot training, on the first morning in months that he had not been on duty and not required to rise before dawn, a pair of Jehovah Witnesses stopped by our house early in the morning. My father’s response to them: “I’m sorry, but I’m preparing to go to Vietnam to kill, burn, and maim women and children. I don’t think you want me in your church right now.” Close door. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2001, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-missionaries-are-going-to-hell-burn-burn-ahh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha/53088/28 "2001-02-05T14:21:40Z")
regarding the OP- And **THAT** , my friend, is what God made Supersoakers for. Keep one near a window that faces the door and let 'em have it with a hearty “Get the fuck outta here!!!” and see if they come back. No harm done-what are they going to do, call the cops and report you for spraying them with a squirt gun? Even if they did, keep a little (and I mean party-favor size) squirt gun handy to show them. Zette ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2001, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-missionaries-are-going-to-hell-burn-burn-ahh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha/53088/29 "2001-02-05T15:07:31Z")
Firstly, the OP doesn’t specify the denominations involved. Were they JWs? Mormons? Funny-looking Girl Scouts? We don’t know. Secondly, I would consider **pkbites** to have been remarkably restrained, not yelling at the unwanted visitors but instead waiting to vent in the Pit, which is here for that purpose. Thoidly, what’s up with these guys? “Poor common sense”, indeed. What did they expect once the door was answered – that the homeowner would say, “Sorry I didn’t hear you the first 12 times you rang, but now I’d be thrilled to hear all about your beliefs with an open heart and mind”? Had they considered that maybe annoying people might reflect badly on them and their particular belief system (“by their works shall ye know them” etc.), thus suggesting to people that joining this church makes one an inconsiderate jerk? Perhaps two rings, and then a leaflet through the mailslot along with a handwritten note (“Sorry we missed you – here’s some literature for you to read – we’d like to discuss it with you at your convenience – sincerely, Jehovah Bob”) would have been a better approach. Even Miss Manners couldn’t fault them for that. ---
**Author:** ![Holly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/48db29/32.png) [@Holly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Holly)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2001, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-missionaries-are-going-to-hell-burn-burn-ahh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha/53088/30 "2001-02-05T15:55:43Z")
The tricky thing about JW’s is that doing anything at all to discourage them (from posting signs to telling them off, etc.) makes them feel vindicated. The Bible does say, after all, that many people don’t want to hear their message and that many people will be outright hostile to them. Not accepting their witnessing just solidifies their faith. On the other hand, listening to them reinforces their faith, too. They win either way, and whether you’re polite or hostile to them, you “lose” either way. Not that I feel it’s my job to sway their beliefs, understand, but it’s annoying. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2001, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-missionaries-are-going-to-hell-burn-burn-ahh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha/53088/31 "2001-02-05T16:04:52Z")
You guys might know the answer to something that’s been puzzling me for a while. I read a book back in high school, called The New Testament, and there was this guy, Jesus, who said, if you want to spread the news, go to a town, try to talk to people. If they don’t want to listen, try (a total of) three times, then, if they still don’t want to listen to you, LEAVE. And never go back. What happened to this idea? Was it just a general suggestion, or something Jesus said to do? Specifically? You’d think the Christian missionaries would be done with most major cities by now… ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2001, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-missionaries-are-going-to-hell-burn-burn-ahh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha/53088/32 "2001-02-05T16:39:52Z")
I’ve always found an honest, polite “Thanks for your interest—but I’m an atheist, I don’t believe in religion” stops 'em cold in their tracks. They really can’t argue that THEIR religion is better than YOUR religion when you tell them you think the whole thing is a load of banana oil. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2001, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-missionaries-are-going-to-hell-burn-burn-ahh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha/53088/33 "2001-02-05T19:33:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*I’ve always found an honest, polite “Thanks for your interest—but I’m an atheist, I don’t believe in religion” stops 'em cold in their tracks. They really can’t argue that THEIR religion is better than YOUR religion when you tell them you think the whole thing is a load of banana oil. \*\* That depends on the person. I tried that early on, and had them keep going on and on about how I could be saved, and could they come in and talk to me about it. It was 8am on a Sunday morning. So, I let my robe fall open… no underwear beneath and said… the only one who comes in this house at this time of the morning is my gay lover. You may not step past the doorway unless you plan to fuck me. The person in question lost the power to speak, began backing away, and was gone. I guess he had never seen a penis before. ---
**Author:** ![lissabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@lissabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissabeth)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2001, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-missionaries-are-going-to-hell-burn-burn-ahh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha/53088/34 "2001-02-05T20:45:39Z")
I agree. Going to the back door was rude…and stupid. I’d shoot someone who knocked on my backdoor. If someone doesn’t answer the door in 9 rings, they’re most likely taking a shit or having sex and don’t want to be bothered. I used to get missionaries all the time in my neighborhood. One time I answered the door naked. Invited them back to bed with you since they woke me up so rudely. They declined the invitation and left. Another tactic is to crank up the satanic heavy metal that you would keep for this purpose and invite them in for a drink. Hand them a beer or a stiff drink. Then either take your shirt off or light a cigarette while standing in the doorway. They usually beg to leave at this point. I haven’t seen many of them in the 'hood since my dog scared them off. A snarling 130lb German shepherd lunging out the door did the trick. I could have let go of the dog but it was 8 am on a sat and I was not in the mood to chase the dog down the street. ---
**Author:** ![cleosia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@cleosia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cleosia)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2001, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-missionaries-are-going-to-hell-burn-burn-ahh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha/53088/35 "2001-02-05T20:52:45Z")
You could always answer the door, look delighted and say, “I’m glad you’re here. I’m trying to recruit for the Church of Satan. You would like some literature?” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![capacitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@capacitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capacitor)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2001, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-missionaries-are-going-to-hell-burn-burn-ahh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha/53088/36 "2001-02-06T07:05:07Z")
Jesus explicitly says “Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation”–Mark 16:15 NIV. It is considered a duty for missionairies to go door to door because they blieve that they are commanded by Jesus to do so. And the Supreme Court ruled that distributing religious literature in private property is not trespassing–Marsh v Alabama 1945. Sorry, but they are here to stay. ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2001, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-missionaries-are-going-to-hell-burn-burn-ahh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha/53088/37 "2001-02-06T10:23:14Z")
As I don’t believe in the Christian concepts of either heaven or hell, I don’t wish people to either. I just answer the door, think (“Aw, no!”), smile wanly and say I’m not interested. I wish them a good day, and all the best for the rest of it. Last time, I was asked if I have a faith. I answered “Yes,” and closed the door. There’s a lot more out there in the big wide world to peeve me than missionaries. I just feel sorry for them. Oh, and the last time I had a “visitation”, I was sick off work and felt like crap. Still, I remained polite. They won’t go to hell. They’ll die, and find heaven and hell are really fiction and wishful thinking. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2001, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-missionaries-are-going-to-hell-burn-burn-ahh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha/53088/38 "2001-02-06T12:00:20Z")
Or rather, they won’t find anything, what with being dead and all. The last three times the JWs have come by (at three different addresses), I’ve been polite, taken their literature, promised to read it, and even agreed for them to come back at some point to discuss it. But _they never do_. Now, I’m not **that** creepy-looking, I have no tattoos or other obvious physical deformities, I was fully clothed on all occasions (although on one occasion I was in my pajamas), I don’t have a dog, I don’t display any religious symbols or even a “No Solicitors” sign, and I was extremely nice to them. And yet they don’t come back. What the hell is wrong with me?!? Gosh darnit…and I **so** wanted to talk to them…:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2001, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-missionaries-are-going-to-hell-burn-burn-ahh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha/53088/39 "2001-02-06T13:52:04Z")
I, for one, don’t mind proselytizers coming to my door. I don’t know what it is about Utah genes, but those Mormon boys are HOT! Swriously, I have no problem with religious types. I thank them kindly, tell them I have absolutely no interest in their product, and bid them a good day. However, if they hammered at my front door without a response and then trespassed into the back yard, they’d deserve to get yelled at. > [@](#): > > I agree. Going to the back door was rude…and stupid. > [@](#): > > So, I let my robe fall open… no underwear beneath and said… the only one who comes in this house at this time of the morning is my gay lover. You may not step past the doorway unless you plan to fuck me. I guess in Hastur’s case going to the back door is encouraged. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![InkBlot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b5e925/32.png) [@InkBlot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InkBlot)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2001, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-missionaries-are-going-to-hell-burn-burn-ahh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha/53088/40 "2001-02-06T19:37:15Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by capacitor_ > **Jesus explicitly says “Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation”–Mark 16:15 NIV. It is considered a duty for missionairies to go door to door because they blieve that they are commanded by Jesus to do so. And the Supreme Court ruled that distributing religious literature in private property is not trespassing–Marsh v Alabama 1945. Sorry, but they are here to stay.** Sorry, but they’re not. [You can read the court’s decision on this case here.](http://supct.law.cornell.edu/supct/historic_idx/326_501.htm) Quoting from the editied decision: > [@](#): > > In this case, we are asked to decide whether a State, consistently with the First and Fourteenth Amendments, can impose criminal punishment on a person who undertakes to distribute religious literature on the premises of a company-owned town contrary to the wishes of the town’s management. They go on to summarize that this was not tresspassing because the private property was being used in a public manner. Your own residence is still yours, and unless you allow your front porch to be used as a public throughfare then state and local tresspassing laws can still apply. Unless you have another court case to present in evidence. inkblot [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-missionaries-are-going-to-hell-burn-burn-ahh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha/53088.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-missionaries-are-going-to-hell-burn-burn-ahh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha/53088.md?page=3)