# Door-to-Door Preaching **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 29, 2012, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-preaching/629794 "2012-07-29T21:10:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2012, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-preaching/629794/21 "2012-07-30T16:26:02Z")
I enjoy the conversations I have with JW, usually they come in pairs, one the more dominant then the other. As I engage them I usually find that the less dominant one really starts rethinking things, quite amazing to see. ---
**Author:** ![Coustralee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f05b48/32.png) [@Coustralee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coustralee)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2012, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-preaching/629794/22 "2012-07-30T16:36:56Z")
i had some mormon guys come around once, they asked me if i’d read the book of mormon… i said id read about the book of mormon… which kind of threw them into ‘oh well… um dont believe everything you read!’ i didn’t feel like discussing anything at the time, i just let them say their spiel. I’ve heard of a guy here whose idea is that he engages the JW’s and those who he thinks are wrong and tries to take up as much of their time as possible, so they’re not leading anyone else astray. ---
**Author:** ![Canadjun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/76d3ee/32.png) [@Canadjun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadjun)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2012, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-preaching/629794/23 "2012-07-30T19:26:22Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > A couple of weeks ago, my husband and I were working in the garage. The cars were pulled out, the truck was backed up to the open door and it was full of obvious discards for the dump. We were both soaked in sweat, filthy dirty, and at one moment, he had a push broom in hand and I was carrying a large box across to some shelves. That’s when an older white man and a young black woman decided it was the perfect time to walk into our garage to save us. 😕 Seriously, folks, anyone with functioning eyeballs could see that we were in the middle of a large, cruddy task - did they really think we’d invite them in to share their message with us? Frankly, I thought it was particularly nervy that they just walked into the garage uninvited. :rolleyes: > > My husband can look really mean and angry, even when he’s not, so when he declined their offer, they scooted back down the driveway and out of our lives. And we were able to finish cleaning our garage in peace. Since I’m sure they were both dressed in nice clean Sunday-go-to-meeting clothes, I would have thought that the best response would have been to put the broom and box down and give both of them a nice long passionate hug, since you were “soaked in sweat, filthy dirty”.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2012, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-preaching/629794/24 "2012-07-30T19:31:39Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > I enjoy the conversations I have with JW, usually they come in pairs, one the more dominant then the other. As I engage them I usually find that the less dominant one really starts rethinking things, quite amazing to see. Wow. I’ve never seen JWs in black leather and chains. You’re one lucky guy. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2012, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-preaching/629794/25 "2012-07-30T20:16:05Z")
> [@Rachellelogram](#): > > Unwanted solicitors are why god invented peepholes and front-facing windows. What else would a well-dressed pair of young males be doing on your porch? Don’t freaking open the door unless you want to hear their spiel. Although if you’re in the yard or the door is already open, executing this tactic may be slightly more problematic. Pretty much. In fact, I find door-to-door salesmen much more annoying. (Unless they’re Girl Scouts selling cookies. Then they’ve made my day) ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2012, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-preaching/629794/26 "2012-07-30T20:21:57Z")
> [@Canadjun](#): > > Since I’m sure they were both dressed in nice clean Sunday-go-to-meeting clothes, I would have thought that the best response would have been to put the broom and box down and give both of them a nice long passionate hug, since you were “soaked in sweat, filthy dirty”.😃 You’re right, of course. We should have been more welcoming. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Greg\_Charles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@Greg\_Charles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greg_Charles)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2012, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-preaching/629794/27 "2012-07-30T20:32:43Z")
One time I invited in a couple of women claiming to be JW, mostly because the younger one was extremely attractive. However, the older one did all the talking, and she gave me a pamphlet about reincarnation, so maybe they weren’t even real JWs. Maybe they were burglars casing the place. Fortunately, I was house-sitting at the time. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2012, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-preaching/629794/28 "2012-07-30T20:35:16Z")
> [@Rhodes](#): > > I’ve had Baha’i show up a couple times, and JWs every few months. I just take their pamphlets, say thanks, and then they leave. My sister answered the door a few days before Easter. They gave her a pamphlet with three pictures of Jesus, which they described in broken English as “Jesus in a manger, Jesus on a stick, Jesus as king.” Jesus on a stick, heh. Sounds like carnival food. Maybe we _should_ have gone to the Kingdom Hall that week. > > I used to be a Mormon. I was a missionary in Polynesia, and my wife went to Brasil. So I have a bit of sympathy for the guys who give up 2 years to their church, however misguided their efforts may be. I enjoyed having them over for dinner once a month as long as I was able to keep the preaching to a minimum. > > Then when we informed the bishop that we no longer believed, the missionaries (among others) started showing up a couple times a week. They always claimed they were visiting one of my neighbors and just wanted to take a leak, grab a Gatorade, and chat for a while. One time my 4-year-old answered the door and said “the Mormons are here!” They replied that she’s a Mormon, too. That was one of our first hints that we needed to distance ourselves from the church before the kids got any older. We resigned, and were explicit in our resignation letter that our kids are not to be considered “born in the covenant” Mormons. The missionaries haven’t been back since then. > > Eventually some unsuspecting LDS missionaries are going to darken our doorway. It’s not as if they consult a list of what houses to avoid. Our best strategy is probably to be polite, tell them we’re not interested, maybe offer them a toilet and a Gatorade, and send them on their way. Feeding them dinner and/or telling them we’re ex-Mormons would put us back on their radar. Actually, I suspect your best strategy is to tell them you’ve resigned. As you well know, they aren’t supposed to associate with apostates. I advise LDS missionaries to take a couple steps back from me because I don’t want them to get struck by the lightning. 😉 Seriously, the last time the mishies tracked me down, I invited them in and leveled with them that I didn’t believe and I wanted off the rolls. I was instructed to resign via the local bishop (we’d never met each other). It took him a while to process it (about six months) and I didn’t know back then you can just write to SLC. Once I got the letter that I was out and all my blessings had been nullified and voided, I haven’t seen a hint of a mormon on my doorstep. I still get visits from the JWs, but I find them to be fairly harmless. I just hate it when they bring their little kids along. But it’s easy to tell them to “shoo!” and they generally comply. ---
**Author:** ![newsbunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@newsbunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/newsbunny)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2012, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-preaching/629794/29 "2012-07-30T20:45:37Z")
> [@Kenm](#): > > Redundant. Well, more insane than the functioning insane. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2012, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-preaching/629794/30 "2012-07-30T20:46:52Z")
When they used to come around, my wife made the mistake of talking to them. She’s just one of those nice people. After that if I answered the door I’d tell them no one at our house was interested, but they’d come back anyway. Finally one time I explained to them that my wife was too polite to tell them to go away and not come back, but I wasn’t, and if they came back again I’d sic the dogs on them. The dogs did their part and put on a terrific show of barking, the Witnesses did not return. Once a couple of Mormons came by, I told them we weren’t interested and suggested they check out a nearby strip club. One of them obviously though that was a good idea, the other one was not amused. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-preaching/629794/31 "2012-07-31T02:19:16Z")
The second most annoying group (after politicians) of people ever! They don’t know me; or how regularly I go to church/synagogue/mosque/temple, or even if I am a Preacher/Pastor/Minister/Rabbi/Imam/Spiritual Leader yet they assume that their religion is better than mine. F#@$%&ing pompus asses! The best suggestion I’ve ever heard for dealing with them (& it is on my bucket list to do) is to learn about devil worship & then invite them in & try to convert them. However, since where I live is a private community, I inform them that to get to my house, they needed to come past the sign that says, “No Trespassing/No Soliciting”. If they proceed to a neighbors house, I’ve called the cops who will either trespass them off the property &/or cite them, which pretty much keeps them away. ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2012, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-preaching/629794/32 "2012-07-31T07:51:41Z")
The last two solicitations I got was one in the mail from a JW kid who wasted her stamp sending me a tract and letter begging me to give up my sinful modern life and join her at her Hall. With all due disrespect- fuck that noise. Got one this Saturday a 40-something hispanic man inviting me to drive into De Kalb, Illinois for some sort of bible conference who accepted politely that I would be other wise busy. Dude, I live at least an hour away in Valparaiso, and don’t want to use my gas, nor pay highway tolls. ---
**Author:** ![Grestarian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grestarian/32/3227_2.png) [@Grestarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grestarian)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2012, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-preaching/629794/33 "2012-08-01T02:53:01Z")
> [@Spiderman](#): > > The second most annoying group (after politicians) of people ever! > They don’t know me; or how regularly I go to church/synagogue/mosque/temple, or even if I am a Preacher/Pastor/Minister/Rabbi/Imam/Spiritual Leader yet they assume that their religion is better than mine. F#@$%&ing pompus asses! I had a guy come to my door one summer. He didn’t even bother knocking. He just called in through the screen door, asking if he could talk to me about Baptism. I declined, adding that I was Buddhist. “Well,” the man was clearly offended, “The Devil has many disguises.” “Yes.” I nodded as I got up to close the front door, “And the whole paradigm is just an illusion.” I don’t know if I nailed him with “paradigm” or “illusion” but he looked really confused as the door blocked my view. 😕 > [@Dogzilla](#): > > I still get visits from the JWs, but I find them to be fairly harmless. I just hate it when they bring their little kids along. The JW’s used to come around like clockwork, rolling through certain neighborhoods at certain times of the year. I remember heading into my girlfriend’s cul-de-sac neighborhood, seeing a couple women and a kindergartner in a poofy dress loading bibles into backpacks from the back of a pinto, and thinking, “Uh-oh. Here they come, trotting out the little kid so people won’t slam doors in their faces.” So I drove a few hundred yards further and approached my girlfriend’s house and realized that, when I stood where the path away from the garage made a right-angle and turned toward the front door, I could see right through the windows above the front door. I could actually look up and see the top few steps of the staircase and the upper floor hallway. So I delivered whatever-it-was to my girlfriend and I wanted to get out of there quickly before the JW’s came a-knocking at the door, but my girlfriend noted with no subtlety at all that her parents were gone for the afternoon. It didn’t take much to convince me to stay and, when she got around to asking ‘where shall we do this?’ I told her, “How 'bout right here at the top of the stairs?” I heard a slight commotion at the front door, but nobody interrupted us that afternoon. 🆒 –G! No one will be watching us :smack: Why don’t we do it in the road? 😃 . --Lennon/McCartney (The Beatles) . Why Don’t We Do It In the Road? . [The White Album] ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2012, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-preaching/629794/34 "2012-08-01T03:15:35Z")
I think I’ve shared this before, but my favorite moment in dealing with JWs was a family of them came to our door and asked what religion we were. I replied “I’m apathetic” and the woman screwed up her face and said " I don’t think I know that one"! When I was in the Navy, some friends and I were sharing an apartment off-base and had some Mormon dudes show up while we we were outside playing Wiffle-Ball and drinking beer. I told them “No one here is interested, but you’re welcome to join our game and we’ll get you some lemonade” and they joined right in for a half-hour or so. A few of the guys wanted to spike their lemonade, but I thought that would be fairly uncool. Best experience with Mormons ever ---
**Author:** ![EinsteinsHund](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/einsteinshund/32/8400_2.png) [@EinsteinsHund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EinsteinsHund)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2012, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-preaching/629794/35 "2012-08-01T18:36:32Z")
Living in a small town in a rural part of Germany, I’ve only had one encounter of religious soliciting: Two middle-aged women in old-fashioned dresses who asked me who IMO was the most important person in history, so it wasn’t a tough guess when I asked them back if they were Jehova’s witnesses. When they nodded, I told them that I had been a staunch atheist for 20 years and they would waste their time. One of them replied:" So you believe that everything happens by random chance?" I confirmed it, and they left and never returned. I had heard stories before about the alleged tenacity of JW’s when soliciting, so I was surprised how easily they were convinced to leave. Maybe they weren’t interested in discussing with an atheist. ---
**Author:** ![hogarth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hogarth/32/1773_2.png) [@hogarth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hogarth)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2012, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-preaching/629794/36 "2012-08-01T18:56:40Z")
We get JWs every couple of months or so. They’re perfectly polite when I say “Sorry, not interested”, but for some reason my wife has trouble saying those words so she usually hems and haws a bit and says “Talk to my husband”. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2012, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-preaching/629794/37 "2012-08-01T19:51:30Z")
> [@Patience\_Jones](#): > > After over 40 years on this earth, I finally got my first door-to-door preacher! So your patience was rewarded! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2012, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-preaching/629794/38 "2012-08-01T20:59:48Z")
The last time I got any door-to-door salvation was when the Mormons helped me wash my cars. I was washing, they came up and asked if they could help. They were nice enough kids. I didn’t try to play gotcha with them. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Patience\_Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ec9cab/32.png) [@Patience\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patience_Jones)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2012, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-preaching/629794/39 "2012-08-01T23:47:14Z")
> [@Kimballkid](#): > > So your patience was rewarded! 😉 So it would seem! Hopefully, this one experience will last me another 40 years. Still rather curious about what the guy was preaching. The whole “female image of God” line did not strike me as being a familiar part of any of the usual religions preached at the door. It was also odd that it was a young couple who knocked and said hello, but then introduced the guy who started preaching. He kind of appeared out of nowhere, looking young, nervous, blond, and earnest. Perhaps he was their leader, and I closed the door on Our New Overlord. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2012, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-preaching/629794/40 "2012-08-02T00:24:10Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > The dogs did their part and put on a terrific show of barking, the Witnesses did not return. That was not my experience with JW; they would stand at my door petrified (and no doubt make a note in some file to come to my door only with an empty bladder), but they would not leave. Only telling them what I thought of evangelism really worked, with the LSD and the JW. **Grestarian,** I really like that line and am going to start using it a lot in arguments. True or not in any given situation, it sounds like an excellent bullshit detector. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/door-to-door-preaching/629794.md?page=1)