# DOPEFEST!!! Airman Doors Finally Earns his Title! And you can help... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 19, 2001, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopefest-airman-doors-finally-earns-his-title-and-you-can-help/73048 "2001-07-19T13:18:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lucretia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@Lucretia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucretia)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopefest-airman-doors-finally-earns-his-title-and-you-can-help/73048/1 "2001-07-19T13:18:08Z")
Yes, our very own Airman Doors, is off to basic on the 22nd of August, and we, being his dear, dear friends, would be remiss if we did not do our best to render him comatose beforehand, thus enabling us to semi-permanently alter his appearance, making his first days in basic oh-so-much fun! Failing that, we’ll at least be having a heck of a sendoff party. It will be either the 18th or 19th of August. We are attmpting to come up with a suitable place (somewhere in MD, probably) but suggestions are appreciated. So all of you MD/PA/DC/No.VA/anyone else who can make it Dopers, come on down (up?) and help initiate the soon-to-be newest member of our Air Force. ---
**Author:** ![Simetra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Simetra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simetra)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopefest-airman-doors-finally-earns-his-title-and-you-can-help/73048/2 "2001-07-19T14:15:49Z")
Hey sweet! 🙂 I’m too far away, but you have my best wishes **AB Doors**. Awww… someone’s gonna be an Air Baby. 😉 Let’s hear your reporting statement. One final piece of advice… if you smoke, do not smoke a lot before you go figuring that you won’t be smoking for a long time. \ ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopefest-airman-doors-finally-earns-his-title-and-you-can-help/73048/3 "2001-07-19T15:49:21Z")
I certainly won’t be there. I found all of you slow and loathesome, and would not sully myself by associating further with any of you. Oh no, wait…that was someone else. 😃 Anyhow…about the smoking thing. They told my stepson (in the Army) that he was welcome to quit smoking, as long as he ran five extra miles every morning. He quit smoking. 🙂 And heck yeah, count me in if I can get there at all. I mean, Airman Doors is tolerable, I suppose. ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopefest-airman-doors-finally-earns-his-title-and-you-can-help/73048/4 "2001-07-19T15:51:52Z")
“If he wanted to **KEEP** smoking.” Keep. As in continue. And I say “I never preview” as if that were a GOOD thing… And I sure hope anyone who met me understands my tone, and that I’m not actually dissing Airman Doors… Fer cryin’ out loud, why do I even get out of bed? ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopefest-airman-doors-finally-earns-his-title-and-you-can-help/73048/5 "2001-07-19T16:49:00Z")
Sounds like fun. Dibs on shaving “I’m gay” into the back of his head. ---
**Author:** ![SkeptiJess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SkeptiJess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkeptiJess)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopefest-airman-doors-finally-earns-his-title-and-you-can-help/73048/6 "2001-07-19T16:59:29Z")
Yeah, I think I can make this one… I think I’ll go and root through my cosmetics stash in search of permanant toe-nail polish. In Air Force Pink, natch. ---
**Author:** ![Spritle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Spritle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spritle)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopefest-airman-doors-finally-earns-his-title-and-you-can-help/73048/7 "2001-07-19T17:06:46Z")
> [@](#): > > _originally sung by Arlo Guthrie_ > I had gotten good and drunk the night before so I looked and felt my best. I’ll check my calendar. I think the Spritle family gets back from vacation on the 18th so the 19th might be a possibility. ---
**Author:** ![Nocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/9fc348/32.png) [@Nocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nocturne)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopefest-airman-doors-finally-earns-his-title-and-you-can-help/73048/8 "2001-07-19T17:35:50Z")
Like Simetra, I’m too far away, but make sure to pound him extra for me, okay? 🙂 You know I love you Dave! ---
**Author:** ![Simetra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Simetra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simetra)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopefest-airman-doors-finally-earns-his-title-and-you-can-help/73048/9 "2001-07-19T17:42:03Z")
Jeez guys… “I am gay”? “Painted Toenails”? Why don’t you just stick some soap in some socks and save him the trouble. 😉 Just kidding **AB Doors**. 🙂 The probably won’t do that.\* [sub]\*Not to scare or anything, but a group of guys in my flight did do that to one guy they thought was gay. They’re intolerant morons tho’, and I’m sure that one day, they’ll get what they deserve.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Simetra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Simetra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simetra)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopefest-airman-doors-finally-earns-his-title-and-you-can-help/73048/10 "2001-07-19T18:01:35Z")
Jeez guys… “I am gay”? “Painted Toenails”? Why don’t you just stick some soap in some socks and save him the trouble. 😉 Just kidding **AB Doors**. 🙂 The probably won’t do that.\* [sub]\*Not to scare or anything, but a group of guys in my flight did do that to one guy they thought was gay. They’re intolerant morons tho’, and I’m sure that one day, they’ll get what they deserve.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Vestal\_Blue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/5e9695/32.png) [@Vestal\_Blue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vestal_Blue)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopefest-airman-doors-finally-earns-his-title-and-you-can-help/73048/11 "2001-07-19T19:08:08Z")
Has anyone warned you about the square needle in the left nut yet? No? **Beware!** And say hi to the Green Machine and confidence course for me. I was in the 3106th; a good squadron. Best of luck to you, keed! I won’t make the sendoff, but now I have the date, I’ll raise a glass of 151 in your honour! ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2001, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopefest-airman-doors-finally-earns-his-title-and-you-can-help/73048/12 "2001-07-19T20:37:50Z")
I dibs tattooing little bunny rabbits on his back! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopefest-airman-doors-finally-earns-his-title-and-you-can-help/73048/13 "2001-07-20T00:04:12Z")
If it’s on the 19th, I’d be happy to attend. ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopefest-airman-doors-finally-earns-his-title-and-you-can-help/73048/14 "2001-07-20T01:24:17Z")
Oh, whatever you do, DON’T paint my toenails! 😉 Seriously though, I am so looking forward to leaving. And this promises to be an amazing going away party, so I’m up for it. I’m looking forward to seeing everyone again, and meeting some of you that I’ve never met before. Anyone for shots? Anyone? If I’m gonna get drunk, I’m gonna do it right. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopefest-airman-doors-finally-earns-his-title-and-you-can-help/73048/15 "2001-07-20T02:02:30Z")
I get dibs on his nose! Yeah, I think I’ll be there. And anyone who wants to bum a ride is welcome to do so (as soon as I secure a car for the occasion). I know this is going to sound odd, but could we establish a general time soon, so I can hammer it into my head (literally), have people constantly remind me, and shave whatever time it is on my head? Shots . . . sorry, Dave, but I don’t drink. I’ll chug root beer all night with you, though:) ---
**Author:** ![Pammipoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/87869e/32.png) [@Pammipoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pammipoo)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopefest-airman-doors-finally-earns-his-title-and-you-can-help/73048/16 "2001-07-20T03:17:10Z")
Maryland is a bit far away for me to make, but I’ll be rooting for you babe. I’ll be sure to send you something frilly and pink though, so you can remember me…hey, if I were to send you my watch, would you wear it? Now, if you guys wanna relocate to Massachusetts, then I might be able to make it… Dave, I’m gonna miss you. And if you even get married while you’re gone, just save me the heartbreak, and don’t tell me 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopefest-airman-doors-finally-earns-his-title-and-you-can-help/73048/17 "2001-07-20T13:50:02Z")
If y’all can handle a stuffy old grump, I’d like to make an appearance. Gotta tell **Airman** about the Dental Floss Spider and the other dangers of bootcamp. [sub]Can’t have him leaving in a comfortable frame of mind… Wouldn’t be traditional…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Zappo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b3f665/32.png) [@Zappo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zappo)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2001, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopefest-airman-doors-finally-earns-his-title-and-you-can-help/73048/18 "2001-07-20T14:01:06Z")
Please, keep me posted as to when and where this will happen. I will be in and out of Castell Zappo throughout August but if I’m here when AD’s sendoff happens, I’ll be there! I don’t think the blanket party’s a good idea, but wrapping his drunken bee-hind in a nice little number from Graves Registration and leaving him on a bus bench somewhere might be fun. Yer pal, Zappo ---
**Author:** ![Lucretia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@Lucretia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucretia)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2001, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopefest-airman-doors-finally-earns-his-title-and-you-can-help/73048/19 "2001-07-21T01:18:27Z")
Okay, I think Sat, the 18th, would be best for this sort of get together, to allow Sunday for everyone to recuperate from whatever deviltry we come up with. I’m thinking something along the lines of a pub crawl earlier on, then back to our starting location for further debauchery. Weirddave has generously offered the use of his apartment, and so far that’s the leading candidate for location, (at least starting and ending), unless someone else has any other suggestions. So far, we have **Hamadryad** **Weirddave** **Jess** **Spritle** (maybe) **RTFirefly** can you come on the 18th, **andygirl**? of course, the guest of honor **iampunha** **Tranquilis** **Zappo** myself, and **Bluesman** Anyone else? The more the merrier. ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2001, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopefest-airman-doors-finally-earns-his-title-and-you-can-help/73048/20 "2001-07-22T03:15:39Z")
Bump. Doesn’t anyone else want to meet the great Airman? Now’s your chance. 🙂 And I’ll be seeing the rest of you there. Is it gonna be on the 18th? Just let me know and I’m there. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dopefest-airman-doors-finally-earns-his-title-and-you-can-help/73048.md?page=2)