# Doper Dudes: Anyone try to get a 'Russian Bride'? Wedding bells or wedding hells? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 15, 2011, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-dudes-anyone-try-to-get-a-russian-bride-wedding-bells-or-wedding-hells/606340 "2011-12-15T21:27:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2011, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-dudes-anyone-try-to-get-a-russian-bride-wedding-bells-or-wedding-hells/606340/21 "2011-12-17T02:38:51Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > She has a nice, round butt. > > The notion that Russian, or Eastern European women in general, “cook, clean, and do not nag all of the time” is so far divorced from reality that I have to ask you where you even got that notion. Eastern Europe is is dominated by babushkas who will not only bully their male kin into doing what they think needs done, they don’t have a problem with browbeating strangers the same way. I am wondering if that changes once they’re in the US and it’s either appease hubby long enough to get citizenship or it’s hello Moscow again. ---
**Author:** ![ProbablyProcrastinating](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/57b2e6/32.png) [@ProbablyProcrastinating](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ProbablyProcrastinating)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2011, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-dudes-anyone-try-to-get-a-russian-bride-wedding-bells-or-wedding-hells/606340/22 "2011-12-17T07:18:40Z")
> [@Terr](#): > > 1. Russian women tend to be smokin’ hot (well, a lot of them do). > 2. Russia is a shitty place to live for a woman (not that great for men either). > 3. Russian men make horrible husbands (well, a lot of them do). > 4. Russian women are European-white-looking. Which makes the European-white dudes in US go for them more. (3) is more important than some might think. It’s just hard to find a nice guy in Russia because so many men start drinking so early. There are nice men there, but they are too few and far between. That means that Russian women may legitimately be looking for a loving family relationship (vs. just a green card). Anyway, as a woman, it seemed like that to me. I’ve spoken with Russian women that considered it but were worried that the only men interested would think they were in it for the money. But they really thought this could open up a whole new world of romance for them. I think that makes it much more appealing. I liked living in Russia with a stipend. But it is hard to get a job in some cities. And yeah, they’re white. I suspect that not wanting to appear you have a fetish has as much to do with preferring a white girl over an Asian girl, as it does actual personal taste. Anyway if I were a man I’d think about that, so long as you’re finding love from a catalog. I know Euro-heritage men who have fallen in love with Asian-heritage women (from the US), and several of them dealt with that. As if the woman couldn’t be just an awesome person in her own right. Sad but true. Anyway, good luck. International online dating sounds hard but hopefully for you it will be worth it. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2011, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-dudes-anyone-try-to-get-a-russian-bride-wedding-bells-or-wedding-hells/606340/23 "2011-12-17T15:25:35Z")
> [@PandaBear77](#): > > Is it just that there are SO many Russian women that are up for this that it makes Russia a logical choice, or is there some other reason (I mean, other than Russian women tend to be smokin’ hot and Russia’s a shitty place to live so may as well put your beauty to good use and get the hell out while you still can)? No cite, but I’ve heard a number of times that Russia and several other Eastern European countries have a skewed sex ratio among adults, and that there are something like 9 Russian men for every 10 Russian women. So even if Russia were the happiest place on Earth and Russian men made the most wonderful husbands in the world then there would still be a not inconsiderable number of Russian women who would have to look for foreign husbands if they wanted to marry at all. Of course, a skewed gender ratio is itself a sign that perhaps all is not well; if there’s a lower than usual percentage of adult men in Russia I assume it’s either because they’re dying of unnatural causes (violence, unsafe labor conditions, etc.) or because Russia is unpleasant enough that a lot of men choose to emigrate to other places. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2011, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-dudes-anyone-try-to-get-a-russian-bride-wedding-bells-or-wedding-hells/606340/24 "2011-12-17T15:40:16Z")
> [@PandaBear77](#): > > I am wondering if that changes once they’re in the US and it’s either appease hubby long enough to get citizenship or it’s hello Moscow again. I’m two years older than my wife, but in the majority of other “Russian bride” marriages with which I am personally familiar, the American husband is substantially older than the wife. In one case, I know a 25 year old wife/67 year old husband. He has children older than her. These guys are married to younger, hotter women than they were ever going to find here in the US. Most of them don’t put too many demands on said wife because they’re actually afraid she’ll ditch their old ass and go back to old country. I know a fair number of these couples and, offhand, I can only think of one couple where he isn’t wrapped around her finger. That one case involves a couple who are both in their mid-twenties and live with his mother. In that particular case, it’s mom who has him wrapped around her finger. FYI, depending on where the bride is from, calling her a “Russian bride” where she can hear you say it may likely produce an angry reaction. There isn’t a lot of lingering love for the Russians in the various USSR countries they dominated. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2011, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-dudes-anyone-try-to-get-a-russian-bride-wedding-bells-or-wedding-hells/606340/25 "2011-12-17T18:10:28Z")
> [@jtgain](#): > > What is it? Supply and demand. Russian women don’t have very good dating options in russia so their standards are lower. That means men get hotter/younger women that their status would allow them to by going somewhere that demand for men is higher. Basic economic principles. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2011, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-dudes-anyone-try-to-get-a-russian-bride-wedding-bells-or-wedding-hells/606340/26 "2011-12-17T18:22:12Z")
> [@RTFirefly](#): > > Did the “Russian kid” thing instead. It’s worked out pretty well. 🙂 You married a Russian kid? ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2011, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-dudes-anyone-try-to-get-a-russian-bride-wedding-bells-or-wedding-hells/606340/27 "2011-12-17T18:25:25Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > Supply and demand. Russian women don’t have very good dating options in russia so their standards are lower. That means men get hotter/younger women that their status would allow them to by going somewhere that demand for men is higher. Basic economic principles. I’d venture that not everyone understands “seeking my life partner” as a matter of simply balancing “hot/young” with whatever “male status” is supposed to mean. Really. I understand that you may see dating like this, but it’s not a universal point of view. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2011, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-dudes-anyone-try-to-get-a-russian-bride-wedding-bells-or-wedding-hells/606340/28 "2011-12-17T18:40:16Z")
We’ve had threads before where it’s been said, with some evidence presented, that Russian (or Belorussian, or Ukranian, etc.) find the average American male almost preposterously liberated and gallant by the standards of, well, Russian culture. As much as that sounds like a mean thing to say, and I don’t even like typing it, I’ve had women from the Eastern bloc claim the same thing. (Disclaimer: I’ve never dated a Russian, so I don’t know firsthand.) ---
**Author:** ![Terr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/839c29/32.png) [@Terr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terr)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2011, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-dudes-anyone-try-to-get-a-russian-bride-wedding-bells-or-wedding-hells/606340/29 "2011-12-17T18:50:11Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > We’ve had threads before where it’s been said, with some evidence presented, that Russian (or Belorussian, or Ukranian, etc.) find the average American male almost preposterously liberated and gallant by the standards of, well, Russian culture. Some may even say “sissified”. But those, I guess, would not be good candidates to be “Russian brides” 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2011, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-dudes-anyone-try-to-get-a-russian-bride-wedding-bells-or-wedding-hells/606340/30 "2011-12-17T18:51:32Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > I’d venture that not everyone understands “seeking my life partner” as a matter of simply balancing “hot/young” with whatever “male status” is supposed to mean. > > Really. I understand that you may see dating like this, but it’s not a universal point of view. No, of course not. Otherwise all males would look for russian woman and the situation would reverse itself in due course. But it IS significant enough that the result is as you see. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2011, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-dudes-anyone-try-to-get-a-russian-bride-wedding-bells-or-wedding-hells/606340/31 "2011-12-17T19:14:32Z")
With the exception of the one couple I mentioned upthread, I would agree that most Eastern European women find the average American male to be dramatically different from his Eastern European counterpart. When we were first married, my wife was flabbergasted that I didn’t require her to have supper ready the moment I stepped in the door getting home from work. Over time, she has gradually come to understand that I am quite capable of taking care of myself and that I will actually do so. The average EE man, in contrast, seems completely unable to do anything for himself except open the next bottle. ---
**Author:** ![Shawn\_K\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Shawn\_K\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shawn_K_1)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2011, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-dudes-anyone-try-to-get-a-russian-bride-wedding-bells-or-wedding-hells/606340/32 "2011-12-17T20:03:52Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > My wife is from Ukraine. She was visiting here in the US when I met her. I’ll fix you up with one of her cousins for free if you are set on the idea of a foreign bride. I’m down with that, they have to be nice, smart, attractive and be able to make as good of perogies as my mom though. ---
**Author:** ![Bloodless\_Turnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@Bloodless\_Turnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bloodless_Turnip)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2011, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-dudes-anyone-try-to-get-a-russian-bride-wedding-bells-or-wedding-hells/606340/33 "2011-12-17T20:14:30Z")
Where are the husband mail order places? haha ---
**Author:** ![Waxwinged](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c2a13f/32.png) [@Waxwinged](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waxwinged)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2011, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-dudes-anyone-try-to-get-a-russian-bride-wedding-bells-or-wedding-hells/606340/34 "2011-12-17T22:20:57Z")
Deleted for a number of reasons. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2011, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-dudes-anyone-try-to-get-a-russian-bride-wedding-bells-or-wedding-hells/606340/35 "2011-12-17T22:35:35Z")
> [@Bloodless\_Turnip](#): > > Where are the husband mail order places? haha > **[AlaskaMen - Matchmaker & Dating Website](https://alaskamen.com/)** ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2011, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-dudes-anyone-try-to-get-a-russian-bride-wedding-bells-or-wedding-hells/606340/36 "2011-12-17T22:37:00Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > I’m two years older than my wife, but in the majority of other “Russian bride” marriages with which I am personally familiar, the American husband is substantially older than the wife. In one case, I know a 25 year old wife/67 year old husband. He has children older than her. These guys are married to younger, hotter women than they were ever going to find here in the US. Most of them don’t put too many demands on said wife because they’re actually afraid she’ll ditch their old ass and go back to old country. I know a fair number of these couples and, offhand, I can only think of one couple where he isn’t wrapped around her finger. That one case involves a couple who are both in their mid-twenties and live with his mother. In that particular case, it’s mom who has him wrapped around her finger. > > FYI, depending on where the bride is from, calling her a “Russian bride” where she can hear you say it may likely produce an angry reaction. There isn’t a lot of lingering love for the Russians in the various USSR countries they dominated. The mail-order bride relationships I know are very similar to that, too - big age gap (often enough to start a new family) and a very feminine seemingly-weak woman who the man totally adores and will do anything for. It’s surprising how often these marriages work out. > [@even\_sven](#): > > I’d venture that not everyone understands “seeking my life partner” as a matter of simply balancing “hot/young” with whatever “male status” is supposed to mean. > > Really. I understand that you may see dating like this, but it’s not a universal point of view. It’s not a universal POV, but it does happen. As long as both partners are upfront about it - which they are by meeting someone this way - then it tends to be far less of an issue than you’d expect. ---
**Author:** ![ProbablyProcrastinating](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/57b2e6/32.png) [@ProbablyProcrastinating](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ProbablyProcrastinating)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2011, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-dudes-anyone-try-to-get-a-russian-bride-wedding-bells-or-wedding-hells/606340/37 "2011-12-18T04:22:26Z")
> [@even\_sven](#): > > I’d venture that not everyone understands “seeking my life partner” as a matter of simply balancing “hot/young” with whatever “male status” is supposed to mean. > > Really. I understand that you may see dating like this, but it’s not a universal point of view. I think that it was just a crude way of putting the following: Everyone wants to find the best mate he or she can possibly get, taking into consideration his or her own limitations. For some people, that will mean money, for others, looks, but for many, that will be an interesting, loving, industrious person that cares for them. Regardless of the criterion, the supply of men in Russia and certain Slavic countries in particular is just so low that unless you are looking for “alcoholic with two STDs and being hunted by the FSB for having evaded the draft”, yes, you may want to increase your chances of finding a loving mate by looking abroad. There ARE good Russian men. There are just not enough to go around. ---
**Author:** ![Kevbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e47774/32.png) [@Kevbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kevbo)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2011, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-dudes-anyone-try-to-get-a-russian-bride-wedding-bells-or-wedding-hells/606340/38 "2011-12-19T07:11:41Z")
One advantage of Russian women over other “mail order” options is that many of them are well educated and rather worldly. ---
**Author:** ![amanset](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8dc957/32.png) [@amanset](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amanset)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2011, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-dudes-anyone-try-to-get-a-russian-bride-wedding-bells-or-wedding-hells/606340/39 "2011-12-19T09:40:00Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > The notion that Russian, or Eastern European women in general, “cook, clean, and do not nag all of the time” is so far divorced from reality that I have to ask you where you even got that notion. Eastern Europe is is dominated by babushkas who will not only bully their male kin into doing what they think needs done, they don’t have a problem with browbeating strangers the same way. Indeed. I spent a few months last year seeing a lass from Belarus. It wasn’t a mail order thing, she’d been over here studying for a year or so and our paths just kind of crossed. But anyway, she was a lot of work, probably the most of anyone I have dated, and frankly I was kind of relieved when we just seemed to drift away from each other. ---
**Author:** ![Wallenstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b5a626/32.png) [@Wallenstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wallenstein)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2011, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-dudes-anyone-try-to-get-a-russian-bride-wedding-bells-or-wedding-hells/606340/40 "2011-12-19T12:06:03Z")
> [@](#): > > > [@](#): > > > > **Originally Posted by Scumpup** > > My wife is from Ukraine. She was visiting here in the US when I met her. I’ll fix you up with one of her cousins for free if you are set on the idea of a foreign bride. > > **Originally posted by Sunspace** > Thanks, but I need to get stable work first… First thought when I read this… those Ukranian women may be solidly built, but there’s no need to compare them to horses. :dubious: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-dudes-anyone-try-to-get-a-russian-bride-wedding-bells-or-wedding-hells/606340.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-dudes-anyone-try-to-get-a-russian-bride-wedding-bells-or-wedding-hells/606340.md?page=3)