# Doper Evolutionary Construct

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-evolutionary-construct/13643>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [February 10, 2000, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-evolutionary-construct/13643 "2000-02-10T04:02:00Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 12\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\
**Post date:** [February 10, 2000, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-evolutionary-construct/13643/1 "2000-02-10T04:02:00Z")

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I’ve been playing a little mental game with myself, lately, while reading posts in the various forums. It’s come to my attention that, no matter the forum, posters seem to follow some sort of logical progression in their style of posting. That said, here goes:

0-50 posts: Goo-goo ga-ga Hi, I’m a nice person, do you like me? /or/ I’m a complete fucking idiot, see you bastards later! /or/ I’m gonna feel my way around for a bit and test the waters.

50-100 posts: This is cool, have you guys heard about this one?

100-300 posts: OK, that may be true, but explain _this_ one to me then smartypants…

300-500 posts: OK, I feel comfortable enough here to talk about some serious shit now.

500-1000 posts: (at this point, it gets a little forum specific) Socialite: This is what _I’m_ all about. /or/ Debater: _This_ is what I’m all about.

1000-1500 posts: I don’t give a good god-damned rat’s ass what you think, _this_ is the way it is!

1500-Infinty: I’m still here people, are we going to talk about something interesting?

Of course, there are many exceptions to the rule and, obviously it’s much more complex than a linear chain of events. If I could create a decent hierarchy without having the UBB come out all fouled up, I might try such an undertaking. Then again, I’m a lazy bastard, _anyway_…

What do you think? Any better classifications or similar observations out there?

* * *

“Everybody wants a rock to tie a piece of string around!”  
-TMBG

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**Author:** ![Alphagene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Alphagene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alphagene)\
**Post date:** [February 10, 2000, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-evolutionary-construct/13643/2 "2000-02-10T04:52:00Z")

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Sounds good, Demo, with one corollary:

## Each post in MPSIMS counts as 0.1

**Marge** : Your father is… resting.  
**Bart** : “Resting” hung over? “Resting” got fired? Help me out here.

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**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\
**Post date:** [February 10, 2000, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-evolutionary-construct/13643/3 "2000-02-10T05:09:00Z")

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Great, that puts me back at about 10 posts… 😉

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**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\
**Post date:** [February 10, 2000, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-evolutionary-construct/13643/4 "2000-02-10T05:20:00Z")

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Okay, that may be true, but how do you explain yer rationale fer doin’ this analysis in the first place?

Is this whatcher all about?  
Dr. Watson  
“Conforming to all known stereotypes since 1957. Kiddies, don’t try this at home.”

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**Author:** ![Pooch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/dbc845/32.png) [@Pooch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pooch)\
**Post date:** [February 10, 2000, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-evolutionary-construct/13643/5 "2000-02-10T05:29:00Z")

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And a seperate chart for trolls…?

0-100: Spastic, baiting, pointless attacks  
100-200: Targeting specific posters, building a theme  
200-300: Occassional signs of remorse, failed attempts at logical debate  
300-400: (resurfaces under new name) trys charm, gets spotted  
400-500: Gets banned; resurfaces yet again  
500-600: Develops persecution complex; attacks moderators  
601: posts death threat; gets banned again

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**Author:** ![Pooch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/dbc845/32.png) [@Pooch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pooch)\
**Post date:** [February 10, 2000, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-evolutionary-construct/13643/6 "2000-02-10T05:38:00Z")

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And a seperate chart for trolls…?

0-100: Spastic, baiting, pointless attacks  
100-200: Targeting specific posters, building a theme  
200-300: Occassional signs of remorse, failed attempts at logical debate  
300-400: (resurfaces under new name) trys charm, gets spotted  
400-500: Gets banned; resurfaces yet again  
500-600: Develops persecution complex; attacks moderators  
601: posts death threat; gets banned again  
602-700: Resurfaces; in GD posts a racist article from a lunatic and says, “Hey, I didn’t write it.”; continues to cite other lunatics until thread reaches 3-4 pages and feels goal has finally been achieved  
701: Gets bored; makes dramatic exit

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**Author:** ![melanietarrant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@melanietarrant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melanietarrant)\
**Post date:** [February 10, 2000, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-evolutionary-construct/13643/7 "2000-02-10T14:53:00Z")

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hey, i should have gotten past goo goo ga ga weeks ago!

i’ve dissapointed all of you…i’m sorry

do you still like me

* * *

I’m pink therefore I’m Spam

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**Author:** ![PurpleCrackwhore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc348/32.png) [@PurpleCrackwhore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PurpleCrackwhore)\
**Post date:** [February 10, 2000, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-evolutionary-construct/13643/8 "2000-02-10T15:12:00Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Dem wrote: 500-1000 posts: (at this point, it gets a little forum specific) Socialite: This is what I’m all about. /or/ Debater: This is what I’m all about.

So Dem… at 571… what are YOU all about?

😛

* * *

I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature!

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**Author:** ![Havoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Havoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Havoc)\
**Post date:** [February 10, 2000, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-evolutionary-construct/13643/9 "2000-02-10T16:06:00Z")

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Goo-goo ga-ga thbptptpt lalalala. Tee-hee-hee.

(“This toddler looks forward to using his toddler-like vocabulary during the next Acrophobia game.”) 😃

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**Author:** ![Demo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/demo/32/8472_2.png) [@Demo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demo)\
**Post date:** [February 10, 2000, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-evolutionary-construct/13643/10 "2000-02-10T16:43:00Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> So Dem… at 571… what are YOU all about?

The _money_, baby, I’m all about the money…

😉

* * *

“Everybody wants a rock to tie a piece of string around!”  
-TMBG

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**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\
**Post date:** [February 11, 2000, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-evolutionary-construct/13643/11 "2000-02-11T04:41:00Z")

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yeah, but some of us paid our dues on the AOL board, or AFCA.

* * *

Remember, I’m pulling for you; we’re all in this together.  
—Red Green

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**Author:** ![ExTank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/35a633/32.png) [@ExTank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ExTank)\
**Post date:** [February 11, 2000, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-evolutionary-construct/13643/12 "2000-02-11T05:01:00Z")

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How about this, counted as number of posts per year, calculated by dividing total number of posts by how long the individual has been a registerd member:

\<100: Drops in from time to time, but otherwise has a life, or no solid opinions (or maybe doesn’t give a flying fuck what other people think?).  
101-200: Some beliefs, nothing too solid or inflexible; or an occasional social life.  
201-300: Firm but not inflexible beliefs/opinions; could stand to get out more.  
301-400: Soild beliefs/opinions, will not be easily swayed; really needs to get out more.  
401-500: Inflexible belief system or opinions; GET A LIFE!

_ **\<FONT COLOR=“GREEN”\>ExTank** _\</FONT\>