# Doper Food Confessions **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 4, 2008, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998 "2008-09-04T15:34:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![fizzestothetop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e79b87/32.png) [@fizzestothetop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fizzestothetop)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2008, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/41 "2008-09-04T21:59:57Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > I had at the State Fair this year which was a perfect combination of sweet&salty. > Chocolate covered bacon. I think I just creamed my panties a little reading that. That sounds like my idea of heaven. I don’t have many serious food confessions other than if you set a pound of bacon down in front of me (fried crunchy please) I’ll probably eat it all. And then ask for more. But who wouldn’t? Bacon is the perfect food! ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2008, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/42 "2008-09-04T22:10:02Z")
I love American cheese. LOVE IT. The stuff from the deli, I mean, not Kraft cheese singles. I do have standards. ---
**Author:** ![Southern\_Yankee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/southern_yankee/32/2800_2.png) [@Southern\_Yankee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Southern_Yankee)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2008, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/43 "2008-09-04T22:20:43Z")
> [@Mr Bus Guy](#): > > Fried pork rinds. > > But not the wimpy ones in your grocery aisle - the ones you can only find by the butcher counter in the mexican grocery store. Either the big, huge ones the size of your arm, or the smaller ones that still have hunks of meat and fat attached. > > Zero carbs - I tell myself they’re the ultimate diabetic treat. > > In fact, I do believe that on the way home tonight… > > Yes, I know about cholesterol and fat, leave me alone. Or, as I got them once, with whiskers. Mmmm.. fresh porky goodness. ---
**Author:** ![rolandgunslinger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/cdc98d/32.png) [@rolandgunslinger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rolandgunslinger)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2008, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/44 "2008-09-04T22:42:59Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > Peanut butter and mayo sandwiches for me. > > . ^^^What he said^^^ ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2008, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/45 "2008-09-04T22:46:42Z")
If I wrap a slice of bacon around the slice of cream cheese, it’s an appetizer, right? I’m not just eating the cream cheese? Unless, of course, I’m out of the ham. Actually, I try not to have cream cheese in the house. It’s just too tempting. And if you mash it together with avocado and a bit of salt. . . well, a bowl of that and a bag of hawaiian chips was how I found out I had gallstones. That was a loooong time ago. Almost never happens any more. ---
**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2008, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/46 "2008-09-04T22:57:22Z")
Mayonnaise can only improve a sandwich, and I sometimes make ones that consist only of mayo, salt, and bread. ---
**Author:** ![Robin\_Goodfellow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Robin\_Goodfellow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robin_Goodfellow)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2008, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/47 "2008-09-04T23:21:58Z")
Banana and black pepper also make a great sandwich. I’ve also been known to put some shredded cheese and Chohula hot sauce in a tortilla and call that a snack. My housemates and I make what we call “bachelor chow:” mac and cheese mixed with browned hamburger meat, with spices. A big pot can last us a week. I wish I could cook as well as they can. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2008, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/48 "2008-09-04T23:27:54Z")
I am very fond of a particular brand of honey mustard dressing, which I put on way more things than I want to admit. I am having string cheese dipped in this honey mustard for dinner. Don’t tell my mom. ---
**Author:** ![ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ComeToTheDarkSideWeHaveCookies)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2008, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/49 "2008-09-04T23:30:26Z")
> [@Fiona\_Greenlee](#): > > One of my favorite things to pack for lunch is a mixture of Hormel no-bean chili (the kind with the grease puddle on the top of the can)and plain white rice. I mix it together then heat and eat. > > It’s the perfect lunch food - tasty, filling and cheap. This is just begging to be called “Low-down Cheating Dirty Rice”, as it is basically “cheating” at achieving something like Zatarain’s Dirty Rice, which is pretty much cheating at authentic Dirty Rice, which I will not eat because I don’t do chicken liver or giblets. To my confessions… There are only a few vegetables that I do not think are improved by a little Hellman’s Mayo. If no one is around other than my wife (who doesn’t drink) I’ll swig wine straight from the bottle. I do at least make sure not to serve any wine from such a bottle to anyone else. I put enough sugar and cream in my brewed coffee to choke a pastry chef. I don’t really like stir-fry. Something about the effect of the various sauces on the cooked (read: usually too mushy) vegetables does not sit well with my pallet. I usually eat around the vegetables, taking any meat/tofu pieces first, then the rice. Perhaps this has something to do with there being no Hellman’s mayo in any stir-fry recipe I’ve ever seen… That’s all for now. ---
**Author:** ![Dying\_Butterfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d2c977/32.png) [@Dying\_Butterfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dying_Butterfly)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2008, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/50 "2008-09-05T00:22:42Z")
I liked mashed potatoes and bacon for breakfast. And mustard sandwiches for lunch. I salt my watermelon and pepper my apples. Also used to drink lemon juice, pickle juice, and Tabasco sauce (not at the same time.) ---
**Author:** ![TheMerchandise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b487fb/32.png) [@TheMerchandise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheMerchandise)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2008, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/51 "2008-09-05T00:24:40Z")
I keep thinking of more. I don’t understand why anyone eats with me. I love food that I can eat with my fingers: Sandwiches, pizza, tacos, egg rolls. I just hate washing forks. Speaking of pizza, if I lived in a world without calories or judgment, I could eat an entire pizza all by myself. Sometimes I’ll let the cat drink from my glass of milk. ---
**Author:** ![lizardling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f4b2a3/32.png) [@lizardling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lizardling)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2008, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/52 "2008-09-05T00:33:42Z")
Braunschweiger liverwurst on crackers. I had it in kindergarten – every time I eat it now, I’m taken back to those days of no greater stress than deciding what toy to play with next. 😛 I’ve been known to buy and consume instant mashed spuds specifically for the flaky texture that never happens with real spuds. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2008, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/53 "2008-09-05T00:50:04Z")
> [@Bosstone](#): > > Peanut butter and mayo sandwiches for me. Amen, my brother! We are few and misunderstood. PB&M on crappy white bread, PB on one side of each slice, M on the other, fold it over so the flavor doesn’t escape. Hamburger cream gravy (with diced onions) on rice or macaroni. Lots of sage and pepper. Drool. Smoked sausage, potatoes and onions all fried up in a pan until well browned. Fresh pepper. Farman’s kosher dill slices right out of the jar. French fries dipped in mayo. I order the mayo on the side at restaurants and get my kicks watching people turn green. I’m not sure why, as it’s really no different than potato salad. French fries inserted into my burger. Espresso with a side of vanilla ice cream. Freakin’ heaven. Black bean chili mixed with cooked white rice. Man, I love that stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e56c9b/32.png) [@Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harriet_the_Spry)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2008, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/54 "2008-09-05T00:54:48Z")
I am not aware that potato chips are ever sold in anything other than a single-serving bag. ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2008, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/55 "2008-09-05T01:14:17Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Peanut butter and pickle sandwiches. Yum. Love ‘em. By best friend taught me how to make a “pickle dog” - put a big ol’ pickle spear in a hot dog bun, add peanut butter and onions, cheese if you please… I could eat a few of those now… Joe ---
**Author:** ![Mongo\_Ponton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Mongo\_Ponton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mongo_Ponton)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2008, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/56 "2008-09-05T01:16:19Z")
A pseudo Irish bar I used to frequent had Bass Ale on tap. They also used to serve Mac and cheese mixed with dried beef and gravy. For Breakfast! A glass and a bowl and you were ready to face the day. ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2008, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/57 "2008-09-05T01:18:03Z")
> [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](#): > > > [@](#): > > > > Originally Posted by wheresgeorge04 > > I always use tuna in water, and I ALWAYS drink the tuna water. I LOVE it! > > > > Joe > > Oh. My. God. Same here! I use a regular spoon to press the water out and eat it out of the can like soup! I just use the disconnected lid of the can to strain the water, and drink it from the can like it’s a cup… Joe ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2008, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/58 "2008-09-05T01:41:56Z")
Olives and pickles are not safe for very long in my presence. I love to eat salty pretzels and wash them down with tonic water. ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2008, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/59 "2008-09-05T01:44:57Z")
> [@Drain\_Bead](#): > > Oh, me too. I always beg for corner pieces off of birthday cakes. Me, three. When I make cupcakes they have nearly as much homemade, buttercream icing as they do cake. When I make ice cream I put on an obscene amount of caramel Magic Shell on top. I LOVE Orville Redenbacher’s pour-over cheesy popcorn. I usually only put half the popcorn in the bowl but use all the topping. YUM. ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2008, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998/60 "2008-09-05T02:14:16Z")
I believe I’ve already stated many times my great love of ground beef. I will eat well-cooked ground beef and onions, seasoned with garlic, salt and pepper. In a bowl, by itself. I like good food, but I also like hamburger sandwiches–and those require soulless white bread and Kraft plastic cheese slices. Good French fries dipped into good mayonnaise–yum! Most delicious. I often eat savory dinner items for breakfast. Leftover dinner is fine breakfast. Most sandwiches are improved by adding a layer of potato chips to the mix. Especially pastrami and cheese. Yes, I like salt. > [@Harriet\_the\_Spry](#): > > I am not aware that potato chips are ever sold in anything other than a single-serving bag. That has been my experience as well. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/doper-food-confessions/461998.md?page=4)